I walked towards the Iwatobi school, I decided to try and become friends with the swim team for Rin's sake. So we all scheduled a meeting around this time, I sighed, they were a pain in the ass. As I approached the building I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, I felt like something would go wrong but I couldn't tell how.
Stepping into the door I only saw a second of the team before something was put on my head before I was picked up and dragged somewhere, I struggled because WHY?! All of this is fucking useless... Unless they're taking me to some murder chamber where I will be brutally tortured while they all force Rin to watch like the sick fucks they are!
"Guys, why do you do things like this..." I heard the redhead sigh close to me, which gave me an idea that they've done this more than once.
"It's necessary! He might tell the government where our lair is!" A disembodied voice gratingly shouted. "Nagisa-Kun, we don't have a secret lair." A different voice muttered.
"SHHHH!" The voice from before, now known as Nagisa the blonde one, made the obnoxiously loud sound before whispering. "He doesn't know that!"
"Now I do." I sighed from under whatever was covering my head, it looked like a mascot head. It was quickly removed before I was shoved into a room, rude. I looked back at the swim team and Rin glaring at each of them.
He rubbed the back of his neck before coming over and offering a hand to help me up, graciously taking it I joined in on Rin's staring game. "Okay, what the fuck was that? I hope you guys know I knew the way to this room."
The Captain, Makoto I think, apologized for their behavior before having us all sit down. "Alright! So you want to join the bishonen swimming club?" Rei, I remember him from the stupid swimming lessons from episode 3, asked pushing his glasses in the anime way in which they shine for some reason.
I just sorta nod, not really but yeah. "Well sorry Sou-Chan! You don't qualify!" Nagisa raucously yelled, this kid needs to take his meds because he's starting to piss me off.
"What the hell are the qualifications?" I glare, Rin who is sitting next to me elbows my side. Yeah I probably shouldn't be a shit stain right now.
"Rei-Chan! You tell him!" He screeched and the fore-mentioned blue haired fuck jumped. "W-why me!?" He stuttered but Nagisa just kept bouncing in his seat and laughing obnoxiously.
"F-fine..." Rei remarked before looking me in the eye and sternly stating. "In order to be in our swim club you have to have a girly name!"
"Wait... It's just because I have a name meant for my gender?" I asked, displeased at all their nods HELL EVEN RIN NODDED!
So while I was sitting here fuming in my seat suddenly they all tore off the clothes they were wearing and are in their swim suits, me and Rin just sorta sat there terrified for our lives.
African sounding humming emitted from no where and I don't even, they broke out into FUCKING SONG! You know the one from Lion King 2 where they sing 'He's not one of us' well guess which fucking song they chose!
They danced and frolicked and other shit, all I can say is the image of Haruka's ass will forever live in my brain and it's so horrible. When the song stopped they just sorta returned to their seats and said in the most calm voice I have ever heard. "So that means no, get out."
Thus me and Rin left, I don't even fucking know what the hell happened but I'm sorta happy things played out like that.