Buford the Woodland Pixie

I wrote this over the course of a month on scrap paper when there wasn't anyone around at work and I had nothing else to do. I know, I'm not the greatest poet ever and the rhymes and number of syllables get a little out of hand in some places. They just sort of got away from me. I hope you all enjoy this silly tale anyway. I did the best I could.

Part 1

T'was on a day quite warm and clear
In Danville, USA
When Agent P was called again
To go and save the day.

But him this tale is not about
That suave, teal monotreme.
Instead it rests upon living out
A certain young man's dream.

As Perry left to fight his foe
His owners rested on their tree
Awaiting the arrival of their friends
Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford makes three.

"Watchadoin'?" Isabella asked
As she entered through the side.
"Are you guys up to something,
Or did you not decide?"

"You're just in time," said Phineas
His eyes lit up with delight.
"We've tossed around a thing or two,
But so far nothing's taken flight."

Buford stifled back a yawn
On the grass he took a seat.
"Wake me up when you've got a plan.
'Till then, I'll be going back to sleep."

Across the way in downtown
Perry was feeling quite perturbed.
Again he had been captured
In that building shaped like Ferb.

He struggled with his bindings
But he could not get free
And so he had no choice
But to hear out Dr. D.

"Do you like my new inator, Perry?"
Doof asked his nemesis.
"Would you like to hear 'bout what it does?
It's just the bestiest!"

Perry, of course, could not respond
So Doof continued to boast.
"It warps reality to let a person
Do whatever they want most.

It doesn't matter how unlikely,
Or how ludicrous their pining.
Matter will change even if unnatural
Which…may cause a little whining.

Now what I want most is power
And to cause mass hysteria
So I'll just blast myself
And I'll finally take over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!"

Now Agent P, he didn't flinch
For he'd heard it all before.
He just simply sat and watched
As Doof moved across the floor.

The man flicked a couple switches
And the machine began to hum.
But moving 'round he bumped it.
It fired, the kickback like a gun.

Heinz looked surprised as the inator jumped.
"Whoops! That thing is touchy!"
But his surprise turned into fear
When he saw that he'd struck Perry.

Perry got what he'd wanted most,
Which was to escape his trap.
He leapt toward Dr. Doofenshmirtz
And to his face he gave a slap.

Stumbling back, Doof hit the device.
It spun to face suburbia.
The beam shot out once again
Toward a yard famous in summer-ia.

Unaware of what streaked toward them,
The gang chatted idly.
"So what should we do today?"
Asked 'Jeet. "Something new, ideally."

Phin thought hard. "Ferb, I forget.
Have we yet done Spring-mer?"
"We've not," Ferb said. They knew not
That they'd disturbed poor Buford's slumber.

"A water slide? A go-kart track?"
These Isabella suggested.
But still the boys remained unsparked
By the ideas that their friends requested.

Buford covered up his ears
Trying to muffle out the din.
"Invent a new word? Or number?
A machine to give my hair a trim?"

"Play with boomerangs? A game of catch?"
"Raise from birth a lost wolf pup?"
"Bumper cars? Giant chess?"
"Will you guys please SHUT UP?!"

The outburst came from Buford
Who was feeling rather miffed
And all the while regretting
The sleep he'd last night missed.

"What is your problem, Buford?"
We're just trying to have fun!"
"Well, could you do it quietly?
At least 'til my nap is done?"

Izzy frowned. "If you're so tired
Then why did you even come?
You should have stayed at home in bed
The shades drawn to block the sun."

Maybe I should've!" he snarled back.
"I didn't get much sleep last night!
And you guys aren't any help,
And neither is the stupid sun!"

"That didn't rhyme," Phin pointed out.
"You've wrecked the poem's flow.
If you're gonna be so grumpy,
Then maybe you should go."

"Fine! I will!" the bully snapped.
"Some friends you turned out to be!"
"But when I'm not around
You'll miss me being here! You'll see!"

But when he stood, he was struck
By a light ray, green and queer.
The gang all gasped, for before their eyes
Buford had disappeared!

To be continued...

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