To Run and To Remember
A/N: Hey guys, second fic! Inspired by School Reunion and Day of the Doctor! Set around 'End of Time' ENJOY R&R PLZ!
Sarah Jane had initially come into London to research a story but her editor called a few moments ago to say that they weren't going to go through with it leaving Sarah with nothing to do. She was in Trafalgar Square, debating whether or not to get something to eat when she saw someone near one of the cafes. "ROSE!"
The blonde jumped and turned, "Sarah Jane?"
"Goodness it's good to see you," Sarah hugged her. "Hang on, Canary Wharf…"
"Didn't happen like that. Good to see you too," Rose smiled a bit but quickly dropped it and Sarah sensed something was off.
"Is he here then?"
"No he's not," Rose sighed looking dejected.
"Ah." Sarah nodded comprehendingly. "You're not with him anymore."
"No," Rose wiped an errant tear. "But I have to find him, it's an emergency."
"What's going on?" Sarah Jane glanced around, "Let's go somewhere and talk."
Rose agreed and they entered the coffee shop and sat down with a couple of coffees. Rose told Sarah everything: the portal, her joining Torchwood, the dimensional walls weakening, her attempts to contact the Doctor. "I need to get a hold of him Sarah," Rose finished.
"The thing about the Doctor is that he's always there when you absolutely need him and not a second before," Sarah said ruefully. "But I get the feeling there's more to this."
Rose was silent for a long moment. "He's out there having adventures right now," Rose chewed the inside of her cheek. "And I'm not there. I should be there Sarah, if that lever didn't slip, I'd still be with him in the TARDIS! But it did and I'm trapped in another universe. He barely mentioned you, I can only imagine if he ever even thinks about me. What if he has a new companion too?"
"What if she's prettier? What if she's more interesting? What if he likes her more than me?" Sarah filled in.
"I'm pathetic aren't I?" Rose rolled her eyes.
"You're just like I was," Sarah shook her head. "Risking your life every other week, seeing those spectacular things, you develop a bond with the Doctor. It's mix of a lot of things; loyalty, respect, friendship, and probably love too but all you know is that it's unique and deep and you rely on it. It's what makes you stand up to Daleks, or face Cybermen. Before long, that bond is all you know and when the Doctor leaves, it breaks, and that in turn breaks you. The most important thing in your life ripped away and he's just moves on like it was nothing."
"How do you deal with that?" Rose asked.
"Oh you go through the motions," Sarah waved a hand. "Miss him, cry for him, resent him, try to pull yourself together and promise to forget about him, but then one day without any effort you'll think to yourself 'I remember when the Doctor used to…' or 'that reminds of the time the Doctor…' and you won't be bitter anymore. You'll just remember fondly much like childhood." Sarah chuckled over the rim of her cup, "In way that's what travelling with the Doctor is, a second childhood. Go anywhere you wish, fight monsters, have daring adventures and still be home for tea. But you have to leave it behind sometime no matter how much you might wish otherwise, everyone has to grow up and accept reality. Life with the Doctor is never permanent."
"That's why you didn't come back," Rose inferred. "When he offered for you to stay on the TARDIS with us…"
"My time was over Rose," Sarah said heavily. "It was your turn to get lost in the universe with that wonderful madman and his blue box."
"And now it's someone else's turn," Rose frowned. "But you've seen him again, it's not completely over."
"Yes and no," Sarah tilted her head. "I've seen him again but it is definitely over. Maybe when the winds blow just right, you'll have one last adventure with him but it won't be the same and you'll accept that because you'll have remembered who he is."
"Who?"
"The man who runs," Sarah enunciated deliberately. "He'll travel to anywhere in time and space but when it comes to his own time, his own life, he's always running. Whenever he is, wherever he is, he never lingers. He can barely stay in the present, always thinking about the future, always off to next great journey. He rarely looks back at his past, he just keeps moving and it's only a matter of time before we get left behind. That is our fate, to fade, not forgotten but not thought of either."
"He told me that humans grow old, we wither and die and he didn't want to watch that," Rose traced the rim of her cup. "But then he said that wasn't going to just leave me, he said wasn't going to do that to me."
"Technically he didn't," Sarah pointed out. "It was either you go into the other dimension or into the void."
"Which reminds me, I still need to find him," Rose looked out the window. "The walls between the dimensions are weakening and something is happening to time."
"He'll be here," Sarah said confidently. "Just be prepared for when he has to leave again."
"Some things are worth getting your heart broken for," Rose echoed and Sarah nodded sadly. "Alright I'm off, I've stayed too long as it is." She stood, drinking the last of her coffee.
"Goodbye dear," Sarah got up too and they hugged. "Good luck." Rose bobbed her head a bit and left the café. Sarah sat down again, swirling the remaining dregs in her cup, lost in thought.
"You got it wrong, you know."
Sarah nearly jumped out of her skin as she not only realised someone had taken Rose's seat but it was the Doctor! The Doctor that she travelled with! Everything was the same; all teeth and curls, and those prominent eyes except he was older than she remembered and wearing a regular suit.
Of all the things Sarah could've said, the first thing that popped out of her mouth was, "where's the scarf?"
The Doctor chuckled, "I've been playing around with my wardrobe lately, trying to mix different faces and fashions."
"What? You are MY doctor aren't you?"
Doctor smiled toothily, "Oh yes, I'm also Rose's doctor, and Martha's, and Donna's, and a few others but I don't think I've come that far yet."
"Doctor, will you please start making sense," Sarah felt like time had just turned back and she was the young journalist again that could barely understand his ramblings.
"In my later years, I will start revisiting a few old faces so to speak," the Doctor explained. "This being one of them. I think next time I'll try for my fifth face, rather funny old chap that one. I wonder if I should use a decorative carrot this time…"
Sarah could feel that old 'brain-spinning' feeling coming back, "But how is that possible? Aren't you on your tenth regeneration or something like that?"
The Doctor just smirked knowingly, "That my dear is what I will call 'spoilers'. But I can say that I'm retired now."
"Retired?" Sarah repeated. "You?"
''Why not? Well it's the first for this face but this is actually my third retirement – I tried beekeeping in my last regeneration… that was a bad idea. I don't think Jack will ever let me live that one down."
Sarah Jane laughed, "So what are you doing here?"
"I'm the curator of the art gallery," the Doctor replied. "Rose told – will tell me what was said here and I decided to come set you straight Miss Smith."
Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow, "Oh? What about?"
"Do you really think I don't look back on all our wonderful times together?" The Doctor leaned in, "You listen to me Sarah Jane Smith, I've been blessed with a rather large brain and I can guarantee there's plenty of space for the cherished memories I've made with my friends. But Rose had it right; you humans, you wither and die and I don't want to see that. If I remember you, I remember you at your healthiest, at your best because I will live for a very long time Sarah Jane and while there is lots of room for happy memories, there are only so many bad ones that I can bear to live with."
Sarah sniffed a little, "I was right about one thing. You're always here when we absolutely need you."
"Always," the Doctor grinned. "Now come along, I have acquired some new artwork from Paris that I think you may like and we have an Under Gallery filled with Timelord art. Elizabeth the First managed to get some and I'm in charge of it until the right time." He jumped to his feet and held out his arm.
"Right time? How did she get them?" Sarah asked taking it.
"Now that is a long story," Doctor warned.
"Aren't they all?"
"Yes, all the more to remember."