My name is Mary-Sue (I have long black hair and bright blue eyes like all mary-sues do), when I was a little girl I found out I was a mutant. It all happened when I was like 8 or something.

"Hola, mother!" I said, being adorable, as always.

"Hello Mary-Sue!" My mother said while she was dusting of my father's urn.

"Can I have some lunch?" I said being adorable. Again.

"Sure pumpkin-pie!" she said now dusting my father's shrine. Then she made me a totes awesome samich. Then it happened! I took a bite of that samich and I burped…FIRE!

"GET OUT YOU FREAK!" She yelled at the top of her lungs and then fell over and died.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled holding my mother's corpse in my tiny adorable 8 yearold arms. Then I ran away!

Now I'm seventeen, roaming the streets of New York, 'cause that's what seventeen year old girls do in 1962. So, I was on my way back from work when some guy with the hottest icy blue eyes I've ever seen tapped me on the shoulder. And then I realized he was like 30, ew. There was a taller older man with him too.

"Come with me if you want to live." The older man said with an Irish-y accent..

"Ok!" I said smiling.

They men put me in a room full of hot guys and pretty girls, but not a pretty as me. The first hot guy was blonde and angsty, the second guy was really tall and shy, and the third was ginger. When I walked into the room the ginger dude said:

"hey, I'm Sean, there is seat right on my lap for you to sit on." He winked.

"OMG, PERV!" I yelled and pointed at the ginger. Then the guys went to look for food. Some girl with black hair asked me:

"So do you like sean?"

"OMG, YES!" I yelled "HES SO SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT!"

"Ew." The other girl who happened to be blonde girl said.

Then the guys came back in.

"SO WHAT CAN EVERYBODY DO!" I yelled.

"I CAN GROW GILLS!" said some dude I hadn't notice yet cause he wasn't hot. Then he put his head in a fishbowl and grew gills. AN: DUH.

"AWESOME!" we all yelled.

"I CAN FLY!" the girl with the black hair said as she sprouted wings

"I DO BEILEVE IN FARIES! I DO! I DO!" the blonde girl yelled.

"I CAN YELL AND BREAK GLASS!" Sean said while I drooled over his hotness, then he screamed and broke a window.

"I CAN BECOME OTHER PEOPLE!" The blonde girl said turning into sean.

"I CAN DESTROY STUFF BY HULA HOOPING!" The blonde dude said the ran outside, hula-hooped and destroyed a statue.

"I HAVE BIG FEET!" That other hot guy said. The room went silent, and he stared at his abnormally large feet.

"I CAN BREATHE FIRE!" I yelled, and then burped fire. "NOW, LET'S GET DRUNK!"

And then they got drunk. AN: double duh.