Best I Ever Had

Author: Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)

Rating: PG

Summary: Hmm I don't want to ruin it so I will say this. It is Hyde's 10- year high school reunion. Someone from his past walks back into his life.

Disclaimer: So not mine.

Comments: Okay this one is not that strong but I am gonna post it anyway. It is full of angst and regret. Please let me know what you think.

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"It's not so bad You're only the best I ever had I don't want you back You're just the best I ever had." (Really can't remember who sings this)



It was Point Place High School's 10-year reunion. Eric somehow talked me into going. He and Donna promised it would be a great time. Hell I hated high school when I was there, why would this be any different? But I decided to go anyway. Cassy wanted to see my old school and meet my old friends.

Cassy had been with me for two years now and I think she may want to get married. I don't think I am there yet, don't think I will ever be, but I just smile and say "Someday baby."

So here I am standing in the gym of my old high school. Eric and Donna have gone to get some drinks and I think they mentioned making out in the broom closet for old time's sake. They'd married immediately after graduating college. I had been Eric's best man. I made everyone cry with my speech. Even myself.

I guess I have changed a lot from my younger days. I graduated from the University of Wisconsin with an Economics major and lead a pretty successful life. Mrs. Foreman still gives me knitted sweaters with my name on them for my birthdays. She feels it's her duty to play mom to me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kelso, amazingly enough, graduated U of W as well and succeeded his father in their business. Ask him what it is he does exactly and he really can't explain it to well. (*Career Day episode joke, 1st season*) He is married to a blonde who actually has a brain and dear lord, they have five kids. Way to many Kelso's man. Luckily I am the godfather of the rebel.

Eric and Donna have done really well for themselves. Eric is a businessman and Donna is into politics. They live in Kenosha about a block away from Cassy and me. We go to Red and Kitty's every bloody Sunday for church and lunch. Well, I go for the lunch, the church part I kinda skip out on but hey, I try.

So this reunion was actually beginning to seem like not a bad idea when I saw her. I was in the middle of a conversation with Eric, Donna, and Kelso when she walked in the door and all words ceased.

"Well Hyde?" urged Donna. "What's wrong?" I couldn't answer. I was transfixed by her beauty and shocked and how she seemed to have matured in five years. Donna following my line of sight sighed in understanding. She sent a look of pity towards me and a man joined the beautiful creature. She placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled and nodded at what he said.

Suddenly, my reason for not coming back here walked through the door and back into my life. She turned and saw me. She too froze, but regained her composure well before I could. She walked towards us, the man following her. Donna embraced her. "Jackie, what are you doing here? Your ten year reunion is next year."

Jackie laughed nervously avoiding my gaze. "Well it's Matthew's reunion and well everybody this is my husband Matthew Talbot. Well you probably all know each other all ready." I suddenly couldn't breathe.

"Husband? Jackie when did you get married, how come I wasn't invited?" Donna asked all the while hugging her and congratulating her.

"Well it was kind of spontaneous and well it was a really small ceremony. Just our parents," explained Matthew. "Hey guys, its been a while!" I blocked out the rest of the conversation on how they met, how they fell in love, how they had the perfect life. I couldn't, however tear my gaze from Jackie. And suddenly the past came crashing back.

That summer Kelso and Donna took off, we had fooled around. Before long trying to hide from our real feelings didn't work and we were forced to acknowledge the relationship and eventually the love that was growing. For five years we were together, five years. I was Eric and Donna's best man, Jackie was the Maid of Honour. It really was a beautiful wedding.

A week later we had a fight, and she moved out and back into her old dorm room with her old roommate. I hadn't seen or spoken to her since.

The idle chatter eventually faded and Cassy tugged on my sleeve. "Baby, aren't you going to introduce me?" she asks innocently, not knowing my history with Jackie.

"Uh yeah, sorry. Cassandra Micheals, this is Matthew Talbot and Jackie Talbot. I went to school with both of them." She leans forward and shakes Matthew's hand. Jackie kept her eyes down.

"Wonderful to meet you Cassandra." Cassy smiled and returned the pleasantries.

"Excuse me for a moment," I say before making a dash to the refreshment table. I am happily planning how drunk I can get when Jackie walks up to me.

"Hello Steven," she says as beautiful as ever.

"Hey Jackie. I uh didn't know you were going to be here."

"Yeah, well, huh. How are you?" She picks up a glass of wine and tries to make herself look relaxed. I know her better then that.

"Good, you?"

"Good."

"So uh, Matthew huh?"

"Yeah, Matthew. Cassandra seems nice."

"Yeah." I can't take the awkwardness anymore so I look up at her and force her to meet my eyes. I take a step forward and ask, "Jacks, are you happy?"

There is a short pause as her eyes search mine. She was the type to sugar coat things, yet I could tell she wanted to tell me the truth. "Yeah I guess. I mean I love him and he loves me. Its good, uncomplicated. We support each other." She takes another sip of her wine and averts her eyes as she asks, "Are you?"

I too pause before answering. "Well you know me, the poster boy for happiness." This gets a laugh from her. "Well yeah, as happy as can be expected." I take a deep breath and say, "Not as happy as when I was with you though." Her eyes snap back to mine and her mouth is caught searching for her wineglass. An eternity seems to pass before she answers.

"You weren't happy with me Steven, I thought that's why we ended." All this said in a grating whisper. I glance at her wineglass which is shaking in her hand.

"I never told you Jacks, but you really did make me happy. We ended because you deserved better then me and we both knew it." Her face seems to crumble a little and her eyes seem wetter then usual. She reaches a hand out and grasps mine.

"Oh Steven," she whispers. "I have never been able to replace you, you know? I searched and searched after we broke up and no one could compete with the image I had of you." Her voice is cracking now and her grip strengthens on my hand. Her eyes bore into mine, not with anger, but with sadness and loss. "I kept searching and one day I gave up. I thought that the happiness I had felt, and the love I had felt had come once and I had blown it. And then Matthew came along." I cringed at his name not really wanting to hear about their life together, but knowing I had to. "Matthew was a dear friend for a very long time, and he was there for me when I needed him. Admiration eventually grew into love and though it was no where near what I had felt for you, it felt right."

"So you chose him," I whisper.

"What choice did I have," she whispers in reply.

"None really I guess. I think you did the right thing Jacks. You two are, well, he can give you that dream, that fairy tale." Jackie laughs at this.

"You want to know why we ended Steven? Because you never realized I didn't need the fairy tale, I needed you. Silly, sarcastic, high all the time orphan boy you. I'll never stop loving you, or stop comparing every man in my life to you." The last bit actually shocked me a little, but I recovered quickly.

Regaining my composure I say, "I know. Same here Jackie, same here. I wish you the greatest luck and happiness in life doll. If you ever have need of me, Eric knows my information." Her eyes light up as she smiles.

"Thank you, that is very generous of you." I lean in and place a soft kiss on her beautiful cheek. I let my lips touch her skin one last time and let the moment linger a little longer then necessary. I pull away and give her hand a final squeeze before turning away.

As I started walking away she called my name, "Steven." I turned to face her, her eyes focused on the floor. Finally she looked up and said, "Truth is, I never deserved you." I was frozen in place and could only watch as she smiled at me one last time and turned to go find her family, the family that could have been mine, the family I would never have. She was the best I had ever had, the best I will ever have. We all make choices and they all have consequences. She may think she didn't deserve me, but I know he'll give her a life I never could. And that makes me happy. That pain is still there, will always be there, but at least I got to say good-bye one last time.

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Once again not my best, but I had fun writing it. So please let me know what you think!!

Love, Ally