I know it will never happen and I'm already used to lying to myself…but I'm getting tired of it…it's hard to hide in the dark waiting for someone to find me but what if no one will ever find me cause this secret that I'm hiding deep inside me might be my own downfall…
Am I ready to risk my identity and be with her? or Am I just gonna stand her and wait for us to go to our separate ways…
It's been a long time since I had this feeling towards her…and I'm not denying this I've fallen for her…she's like a dose of happiness to me…but when were together I keep on asking myself questions about me telling her what I feel thinking that if I do I could be free but what if being free is being watched by thousands of people looking at you and thinking how indifferent you are from them…
Doubts…this is what I would sum up and describe myself and it's really wrong to pull myself down rather than cheer myself up because at least were friends…right??...I mean at least we had a connection rather than having nothing but complete strangers…
Envy…I hate to admit but I seldom feel that way especially when she would like a guy and that guy would be such a jerk to leave her and say that they're better off without her…I mean seriously what a total stupido that guy is, he lost something so great…and if ever I was that guy…I would never leave her…I'll stay with her FOREVER…
Slow…I hate to say this but it's true…I always put my decision into waiting before I get a move…and that's why a lot of guys have been in front of me piling up to her heart…but thankfully she rejects the guys in front of me..
Hopeful…yes...such a persistent guy…I don't give up that easily although at some point I tried and had done successfully on it although I keep on going back to the same person as I used to…I never get tired of waiting for her…
Fast...I'm quite fast at making decisions…one night I'll say I'll move on and get away from her for awhile then as soon as the sun starts to rise she's the first thing on my mind and whatever tactics and ninja skills I do I always keep coming back to her in love head over heels…
Smart…yet dumb…I know it's funny that even the smartest people in this planet could go crazy about love…and how they think dumb about it…but its true right??...there's no equations, formulas, grammatical errors, wrong spellings, blown up experiments, and summaries about love…but how come some people pass and fails this test of life…
Silent…I'm not really the type of person who opens up easily…I'm scared for them to know that I have weaknesses…and I don't want them to know that whatever happens even though I grow old I will still wait for her…
Pretender…happy but sad…sad but happy…I always wear those masks everywhere I go…I hide those two feelings that could put me into questioning about what I feel…I'm scared…that I might give the wrong answers and regret it for the rest of my life…
Insecure…I don't want to say this but I'm not that happy about my life…I always wished to be like that, like this, and sometime like him…followed by girls adored by her…
Misunderstood…I'm not emo…although I always feel like I'm wrong…rejected…hated…left out…I don't know why I would feel this way…I mean no one in my friends would describe me as misunderstood for I always have that smiling face that would shine up in the midst of all the gloominess in the room…
Too weak…one flick of a finger I fall…one shout at face I come to an emotional distress… I'm weak…I am honestly weak…especially when it comes to her…even the slightest curve in her lips would make me very soft that even the biggest mistake I would forgive…just for her…
And lastly…I'm Freddie Benson…envious, doubtful, hopeful, fast, smart, dumb, silent, pretender, insecure, misunderstood, and weak…but aside from that I'm not scared to tell everybody this…I know it's not manly but for me it the right thing to do…and maybe someday…I would sum up all the courage in this world and tell Carly Shay what I feel…but if she's here right now I would say "I know that this might be the wrong time and wrong the place to tell you this but if this would be my last chance then I'd take the risk..I don't care who would get hurt and who would be affected…cause all I know is I that I have loved you ever since that day…and will always love you till the day I die…and I know it will never come…cause you are my life support…the reason I breath…I love you…"