It goes on for hours or that's what it seems like. He usually only goes for a couple of minutes, not caring if I get any enjoyment out of it in the process. This is how it goes day after day; it's always the same thing. Afterwards, I stand up and retrieve my clothes.
He askes where I'm going.
I always tell him that I'm just going out.
This is all it takes because he doesn't care where I go. I leave and don't come back till the daylight hours. He claims that he loves me but we both know the truth. He'd hate me if he knew where I went. If he knew, that everytime I leave I go to his older brother's flat. He'd hate me if he knew that I was having an affair with Fred, a man he's supposed to look up to.
I walk up the street of Diagon Alley. The lights, in his flat, are on.
He always tells me that he'll leave them on everytime he's awake, waiting for me. I knock on the door and he answers as if he knows that it's me. His twin is out and he invites to his room. I walk up the stairs until I reach his room. As soon as i step inside, his lips are on mine. It's full of passion and love. However, I can't bring myself to tell him that I love him. I don't want to get hurt or hurt anybody else. He lays me on the bed and things happen that are beyond my control. After it ends, I fight hard to catch my breath.
He asks if I'm going to leave Ron.
I tell him that I don't have the heart.
He just asks and asks me why I'm with him.
I smile and say because you know how to love me.
I leave and return to my husband after spending a night with his brother. He doesn't ask any questions as I leave the next night. However, when I reach the flat, the lights are off. There's a note taped to the door that is in his handwriting.
It reads: because you don't know how to love me.
I fight back tears as I go home and lay down next to the man I'm supposed to die with but wanting to be with guy I want to die with.