Author's note: This is my first fanfic in many..many years. I have not read the True Blood books but am a fan of the show (I will have to read the books at some point!). This idea has been swimming in my head for a bit, so bear with me and we will hopefully get out of this un harmed!

Breif summary: Longshadow's replacement for the bar was chosen, Eric's sense of humor...hire a human! So how does a human work in a vampire bar and manage to stay sane? And Alive! You will just have to read on....

Disclaimer: Unfortunatly I own nothing bar the human, if you recognise it...I dont own it.

Chapter one.

"Tell me again why I am doing this?" the tone was almost a whine, coming out in huff's as the girl jumped around the room trying to get changed.

"Because you need the money! Two minute noodles can only spare your rent money for so long. So Unless the sleaze starts accepting sexual favors for rent. .Money" The person on the other end almost screamed through the speaker, its tiny body set onto of the tall boy and set to speaker so that they could speak hands free. The brunette, currently wiggling into a her jeans, stuck her tongue out at the faceless phone and set her rump down on the bed with an over exaggerated huff.

"But why this bar! I've heard the stories, I don't want to be the next hussy on the five o'clock news"

"Because they only two requirements are: 1. Bar experience and 2. Be human. You've worked in plenty of bars and last time I checked you were still human! So you basically have the job already!"

"But why Fangtasia" She flung her arms up, dropping backwards onto the covers of her bed. Speaking to the ceiling as if she was talking to the lord himself. "Its just sounds so tacky. 'Oh me..I work at this little bar called fangtasia'...Next I will be calling myself Candy and doing house calls"

"Hunny if you did that you wouldn't need this job" Teased the voice from the phone.

"Ok..ok I'll go for the interview, play the human and if I don't get the job you are NOT picking my next place..Got it!"

"Sure thing! Call me tomorrow?"

"If I'm alive still" Came the retort before their goodbye's were given, the disconnect tone echoing through the now silent room. The room itself was rather small, her large bed took up most of the room and her tall boy and wardrobe took up the rest. To the left was her bathroom and to the right was the door that leads to her kitchen-laundry-dining-living room combo. It was tiny, cramped and smelled odd during some parts of the day, yet it was home and it was cheap. Which is what she needed at the moment.

Kate had been town hoping for a bit, trying to find a nice one to make 'home'. This took time, effort and money! The good thing about working in bar's is there was always work, you could always find little 'hole in the wall' places that are willing to pay for a temp, even if it's only a few weeks. She had finally found a place she liked, a little town called Bon Temp, there was a little bar called Merlottes that she visited but was told they were not hiring at the moment. That was where her friend stepped in, sending her resume to this bar out of town called Fangtasia. Some Vampire bar that was looking to hire a human to work, it was either someone's great sense of humor or a publicity stunt. Kate thought nothing of it, there would have been hundreds of people applying to work in a 'vampire bar' it was like the new energy drink, everyone wanted a taste. So she was surprised when her friend called and told her she had an interview!

So here she was, rummaging around her room for something to wear for the interview she never wanted. Having never been to the bar before she was unsure of the dress code, 18th century? 60's...there were vampires from all stages of history! How was she supposed to pick something to wear in such short of time.

Kate huffed into her wardrobe, grabbing a light white shirt from the hanger and pulling it on with some attitude. The shirt was tight around the stomach but flowed around the upper torso and arms, it was light, comfortable and very.... "Modest" Kate sighed, it's almost the one rule in most of the bars she worked. 'Modest is boring, slutty is appealing' and if she had been 'really' interested in this job she may have taken an extra set of clothes, sussed out the place and changed accordingly. She did not want the job so she was going to dress modestly. Boring.

Her phone vibrated from the pocket of her jeans, signaling a text message. Flipping open the phone she had to laugh to herself. A text from Sandra, the very person she had been speaking to not 10 minutes ago. 'get your butt in the car and go already!' Sandra knew her all to well, it was quiet sad actually. Her phone returned to her pocket as Kate grabbed some shoes, her bag and her key, locked the door and jumped into her Shitbox of a car. It was a good 40 minutes to the bar, that meant there was plenty of time to talk herself out of the meeting and back into her bed. Still she made a promise and was going to stick to it! She just needed to block out her thoughts and the radio would hopefully help her.

There wasn't a lot of reception out in the middle of No-where, the tunes flickered in and out at random, making for some interesting listening. Kate spent the car trip filling in the bits that had been cut out of the songs, adding her own if she did not know the words herself. Keeping her eyes trained on the road for any signs she was getting close to her destination, knowing all to well how easy it was to get lost in the unlit streets.

"Frick it's already 10pm!” Swearing under her breath, throwing the phone into her bag, deciding she was going to have to pull over and ask for directions. Dread filled her stomach at the thought of asking some random person on the street corner, there was the possibility of having to fork over money for the information. The next corner saved her from the fate, a large sign with flashing neons glowed from the darkness. "Guess I'm here" the words came out in a sigh, pulling into the parking lot of the club, avoiding the leather clothed beings as she went.

Suddenly she felt like a hatchling amongst the eagles, their eyes on her as she walked towards the main entrance. The cool night made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, or was that simply the female vampire standing guard at the front entrance? Either way she was cold and creeped out!

"ID" The voice was bored, the kind of attitude that came from many years of repetition. The vampire hardly glanced over the item in her hand, her blue eyes raking over the human instead. "Here to see the infamous vampires child? Did you bring your camera just in case?"

"I'm actually here for the bar job" Her voice quivered, more then she had expected it to even after her power talks in the car.

"What makes you think you can handle it in there, did the pretty blonde vampire on TV makes you believe were all fanged out?"

"Ah No." Pretty blonde vampire? She did not even own a TV let alone know there were vampires on it. Well really vampires, not those CGI ones from the movies. "Can I just go in please, I would rather get this over with so I can go home and sleep"

"Very well. Head straight to the bar, someone there will tell you how to proceed." The bored expression returned, handing the ID back but not removing herself from the doorway. Kate waited a moment, hoping she would move. Seconds later it was apparent she was not going to, so instead Kate had to try to squeeze herself around without crashing into the vampire or the pillars behind her.

Inside the music was pumping loud, the sound bashing against her ear drums. People were wandering around, vampires mixing in with them. From the blurring movements of the dancers Kate guessed they were vamp's as well, all dressed up..or rather down, in skimpy leather outfits. 'From all the talk about being higher beings you think they would have more pride then to pimp themselves out' Kate muttered to herself, winding her way through the throngs of people, throwing herself onto one of the bar stools in an almost desperate way. Glad to be clear of it all for the moment.

"What can I get you?" A larger male from behind the bar called to her, Kate's head spun around in a fright. She had not even been paying attention!

"Ah...I'm here for the...the bar tender interview. Kate...Kate Black" Stumbling on her words, ever so gracefully! Causing the male to chuckle in amusement.

"Very well, here is your interview" He reached under the bar top, retrieving a black apron and threw it at her. " Door is to the left, lets see you work the night and then we will talk about a job here"

Kate stared down at the apron in her hands, was this guy serious! She had not even been in the place for more then 10 minutes and he was making her dive head first and start serving. Green eyes flicked up, noticing she was still being looked at. "Um..Ok" She slid off the stool, making her way to the side doors while tying the apron around her waist. She was a little flustered after being asked to work so suddenly, standing in the corner for a few moments. Breathing deep to calm herself.

"You know this, it's your job! Do not think about vampires, they are all just things wanted liquid" trying to reassure herself as she stepped into the bar area, taking in the club scene around her. She specialized mainly in bars, beers and a few wines to go with their depression. She was not use to the pumping sound in her ears while she tried to serve, the lights and the distractions surrounding her. It took her a good half hour to get into the swing of things, her nose scrunching up ever so slightly when she was having a hard time hearing. The male vampire was no help, seeming to take a back seat as she shot around making drinks and serving up Tru Bloods to those wanting.

It seemed a lifetime later, the music started fading and the lights becoming brighter. Sweating bodies began packing out of the club, entangled still, human and vampire...they all started to blend after a while. Kate was washing some of the cups in the sink, the hot water just adding to the humidity of the club.

"You handled yourself alright, I had expected less from you...thought you would pack it in the first hour" The male spoke from the otherside of the bar, his hands held a tray of dirty glasses.

"Thanks...I guess"

"I really questioned Eric when he said we were hiring a human, you are all so slow and dim" He continued either ignoring or not noticing Kate's glare in his direction. "But he said something about it being an interesting concept and might attract more revenue"

More! If every night was like this night she did not see how they needed more! The place was almost packed to the brim. Vampires might not need the air but the humans most certainly did.

"Right. So how does this go, I head home and wait for a phone call?" She was getting tired, it was going on 3am and she still had a long drive home. She had not expected to be out this late, had she had known she would have slept in later or had something caffeine filled to keep her awake. Piles of wet cups were placed infront of her, blocking her view from the otherside of the bar. Otherwise she may have seen the two vampires approaching.

"How about a two week trial, if you can manage to work the shifts we will talk more about your employment." The voice was deep, rich...unlike not like the gruff sound of the other vampire she had spoken to all night. Kate peeked out from behind the glasses, noticing the female from the front door was standing at the bar, a very tall blonde vampire standing beside her. Both were looking at her.

"I guess I could do that, assuming the work is paid for?" She wiped her hands on her apron, hoping to avoid looking less meek then she felt at the moment with the three sets of vamp eyes on her.

"Certainly" the blonde male spoke, without even looking at the other male he continued " Get her some paperwork for her to fill it out." Obediently he set out, leaving just Kate and the vampire pair. "Fill out the details then you are free to go for the night. I will expect you back here at 8pm tomorrow night."

"No problem" Her apron was removed and place on the bartop, the bar vampire came back and thrust a bunch of paper and a pen into her hands. She took them with no complaint, stepping out to give him room to clean while she filled it all out. It was all standard, bank details and such. The very end part shocked her a little, a waiver that stated if she was to be bitten, changed or killed on the premises the club was not liable. "What the hell?!" She exclaimed, dropping her pen on the paper. "You cant expect me to sign that! It will be leaving me open for all kinds of hell!" Her tone showed annoyance, to which the blonde only smirked at.

"It is nothing but a standard waiver, all bars with vampires legally have to have one in place. Just sign it and be on your merry way, that is unless you do not want the job here?" His chin tipped towards the ground, making his harden look train on her even more.

Kate paused for a moment, she did not like the idea of signing her life literally away for some job! Then again she needed the money, this place paid extremely well and she did not have anyone that she was supporting. With an angered noise she scribbled her signature onto the paper, shoved her bag strap on her shoulder and spun on her seat. She shoved the paper into the blonde's hand, earning another smirk from the tall male, and stormed from the club. The three vampires remained still, hearing the car screech out of the car park.

"Humans!" The female spoke "Their emotions are so up and down, I do not know why you want more of them here Eric"

"Add some spice to this place, it's like bringing the prey into your home." The tall male responded, looking down at the paper in his hands. Kate Black...It was going to be an interesting two weeks, interesting indeed.

Well?? Love it, hate it...go ahead and rate it. Reviews are food for the sole, even if alot hasn't happened in this chapter!