Heero Yuy Goes to Hell
This story is based off of the writing style and is a loose retelling of 'Samurai Cat Goes to Hell' by Mark E. Rogers. Genre: Humor, AU, cross over Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, Trigun, Inuyasha, Tenchi Muyo, YuYu Hakusho, or any other anime I've borrowed characters from. Nor do I own the book 'Samurai Cat Goes to Hell' (read it, it's good!!!!) Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, AU4+not very willing 3, 5x?, HieiXKurama, and lots of other happy couples later on. Recommendations: Drink about two liters of your favorite high caffeine drink prior to reading. Warnings: Shounen ai/yaoi, shojo ai/yuri, OOCness out the wazoo, random strangeness, Relena bashing, slight Dorothy bashing, major dubbie bashing, Wendee Lee bashing, Pokemon/Yugioh bashing, Britney Spears bashing, lots of random people bashing, character villanization, Chibi-Usa, lots of pinkness, over-sexed AU Quatre, sweet snow abuse, fluffiness, do not read if you have no sense of humor, can't stand bad jokes, do not like blood, or if you like (heaven forbid) 1xR. Couldn't fit in all the characters I wanted to, so I picked my favs. You have been duly warned. See you on the other side.
Chapter 1
The mission was going great; at least that's what it looked like from a bystander's point of view. All those cinematic explosions and gunfire made for nice eye candy for the pyromaniac in all of us. But looks were deceiving. The two Gundams were both badly damaged, Deathscythe was missing an arm and sending off frighteningly large sparks while Wing was faring only slightly better. But this was the last mission, the LAST! Everything would be over after this. The pilots could lead something almost akin to normal lives. Or at least that was the plan. But things weren't going to be going according to plan. After mowing down the last mobile dolls Heero turned Wing so that he could get Deathscythe on his screen. Three seconds went by. Then a sight that caused Heero's insides to freeze unfurled. The badly damaged Gundam before him exploded. And not some namby pamby, explosion that leaves the cockpit intact or anything. Deathscythe all but vaporized in an instant taking with it the one person Heero cared about. And this is one of those dramatic, sad moments where you'd expect our grief stricken hero to go "NOOOOOOO!!!" or something else so overused. Not the case. Heero's eyes simply glazed over and he slumped in his seat, hitting a certain button that usually never works properly. Until today.
Duo stood before a huge set of doors. They seemed familiar but he just couldn't place where he'd seen them before. As if on cue, the doors swung open, nearly knocking Duo on his bum. Behind the door was lots of petty shojo style fog and a woman holding a tall, key shaped staff. "Welcome to Final Judgment." She intoned solemnly. "Due to a change in management you will be going straight to Hell, no penance, or plea bargaining." Duo wrinkled his nose, "What? Why am I going to Hell? I know I'm not a good person and all that crap but what's with this 'Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars' stuff?" Setsuna shrugged, "Don't ask me, I just work here." And with that, waved her staff opening a huge hole under Duo's feet. "I want to talk to my lawyeeeeeerrrrrr!!!"
The fall was unbearable. Horrible music that must have been what elevator music was weakly modeled after played all around Duo as he plummeted, trying to stuff his braid in his ears to dull the mind numbing sound. Suddenly, Duo was jerked to a stop in front of a counter. Hovering midair, he read the sign 'Gratuitous Frisking'. That didn't sound good. "Um, excuse me! Could we forgo the frisking and just send me back?" After a moment, someone appeared at the counter. The stranger, clad in black and purple robes, looked Duo over. "Sorry, I don't do guys." Miroku waved over his shoulder. Out from the sparkly shojo fog came another man who, from the way he eyed Duo, had no problem frisking the self proclaimed Shinigami. "He's all yours, Dee." Duo's famous violet eyes widened. "No, really. I haven't got anything on me!" The Deathscythe pilot twisted, trying to get away from our happy bisexual frisker, and found the string that was keeping him in front of the twisted, 'Did we really need this in the story', counter. Giving the evil string a sharp pull, Duo found himself falling once more though elevator music fuzzy fog land. Towards a big pile or rocks. Which he hit. Hard.
Duo picked himself up off of the ground, rubbing his bum and looking around. Waves of nausea swept over him. Pink. Duo never expected Hell to be so PINK!! He turned and vomited, making at least one small patch of the awful place unpink. "What do you think you're doing, Braid Boy?" Duo turned warily towards the speaker and was rewarded with a sharp poke below the belt with a pink pitchfork. "Hey! I need that!" Covering himself, he glared at the speaker. It looked rather like a putrid demon. He looked closer.... it was wearing a Sanc Kingdom School girl's uniform. The horror! Turning a delicate shade of green Duo tried to stand up straight. This was rewarded with a jab in the chest with said pink pitchfork. "Time to get in line." The skirt-wearing demon grinned, prodding Duo along in all sorts of uncomfortable places. Our Braided Hero stumbled dazedly into a long queue, noticing the people it consisted of. There were Yuikito Tsukishiro and Toya Kinomoto, behind them was Nicholas D. Wolfwood followed closely by Count D. "What is this shit!" Duo yelled, "None of us deserve to be in Hell!" He thought about it, "Well, maybe D, but that's only because he let those animals eat people...but he's still cool! And maybe Wolfwood shot a kid but...umm where was I?" More hideous schoolgirl demons brandished their girly, but nonetheless sharp, pitchforks at him. "Shut up, scum!" One yelled, "You are all in Hell because Re-- I mean Satan has it in for you. So there!" The demon blew a raspberry and then, instead of stabbing Duo, settled for stabbing everyone's favorite pet shop owner. Which pissed off the author very much. The naughty, bad demon imploded. Yay. Duo grumbled as more anime characters lined up behind them, none of them deserving to be in Hell. Satan was one dead demon if Duo ever reached him. And what had happened to Heero?
This story is based off of the writing style and is a loose retelling of 'Samurai Cat Goes to Hell' by Mark E. Rogers. Genre: Humor, AU, cross over Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, Trigun, Inuyasha, Tenchi Muyo, YuYu Hakusho, or any other anime I've borrowed characters from. Nor do I own the book 'Samurai Cat Goes to Hell' (read it, it's good!!!!) Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, AU4+not very willing 3, 5x?, HieiXKurama, and lots of other happy couples later on. Recommendations: Drink about two liters of your favorite high caffeine drink prior to reading. Warnings: Shounen ai/yaoi, shojo ai/yuri, OOCness out the wazoo, random strangeness, Relena bashing, slight Dorothy bashing, major dubbie bashing, Wendee Lee bashing, Pokemon/Yugioh bashing, Britney Spears bashing, lots of random people bashing, character villanization, Chibi-Usa, lots of pinkness, over-sexed AU Quatre, sweet snow abuse, fluffiness, do not read if you have no sense of humor, can't stand bad jokes, do not like blood, or if you like (heaven forbid) 1xR. Couldn't fit in all the characters I wanted to, so I picked my favs. You have been duly warned. See you on the other side.
Chapter 1
The mission was going great; at least that's what it looked like from a bystander's point of view. All those cinematic explosions and gunfire made for nice eye candy for the pyromaniac in all of us. But looks were deceiving. The two Gundams were both badly damaged, Deathscythe was missing an arm and sending off frighteningly large sparks while Wing was faring only slightly better. But this was the last mission, the LAST! Everything would be over after this. The pilots could lead something almost akin to normal lives. Or at least that was the plan. But things weren't going to be going according to plan. After mowing down the last mobile dolls Heero turned Wing so that he could get Deathscythe on his screen. Three seconds went by. Then a sight that caused Heero's insides to freeze unfurled. The badly damaged Gundam before him exploded. And not some namby pamby, explosion that leaves the cockpit intact or anything. Deathscythe all but vaporized in an instant taking with it the one person Heero cared about. And this is one of those dramatic, sad moments where you'd expect our grief stricken hero to go "NOOOOOOO!!!" or something else so overused. Not the case. Heero's eyes simply glazed over and he slumped in his seat, hitting a certain button that usually never works properly. Until today.
Duo stood before a huge set of doors. They seemed familiar but he just couldn't place where he'd seen them before. As if on cue, the doors swung open, nearly knocking Duo on his bum. Behind the door was lots of petty shojo style fog and a woman holding a tall, key shaped staff. "Welcome to Final Judgment." She intoned solemnly. "Due to a change in management you will be going straight to Hell, no penance, or plea bargaining." Duo wrinkled his nose, "What? Why am I going to Hell? I know I'm not a good person and all that crap but what's with this 'Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars' stuff?" Setsuna shrugged, "Don't ask me, I just work here." And with that, waved her staff opening a huge hole under Duo's feet. "I want to talk to my lawyeeeeeerrrrrr!!!"
The fall was unbearable. Horrible music that must have been what elevator music was weakly modeled after played all around Duo as he plummeted, trying to stuff his braid in his ears to dull the mind numbing sound. Suddenly, Duo was jerked to a stop in front of a counter. Hovering midair, he read the sign 'Gratuitous Frisking'. That didn't sound good. "Um, excuse me! Could we forgo the frisking and just send me back?" After a moment, someone appeared at the counter. The stranger, clad in black and purple robes, looked Duo over. "Sorry, I don't do guys." Miroku waved over his shoulder. Out from the sparkly shojo fog came another man who, from the way he eyed Duo, had no problem frisking the self proclaimed Shinigami. "He's all yours, Dee." Duo's famous violet eyes widened. "No, really. I haven't got anything on me!" The Deathscythe pilot twisted, trying to get away from our happy bisexual frisker, and found the string that was keeping him in front of the twisted, 'Did we really need this in the story', counter. Giving the evil string a sharp pull, Duo found himself falling once more though elevator music fuzzy fog land. Towards a big pile or rocks. Which he hit. Hard.
Duo picked himself up off of the ground, rubbing his bum and looking around. Waves of nausea swept over him. Pink. Duo never expected Hell to be so PINK!! He turned and vomited, making at least one small patch of the awful place unpink. "What do you think you're doing, Braid Boy?" Duo turned warily towards the speaker and was rewarded with a sharp poke below the belt with a pink pitchfork. "Hey! I need that!" Covering himself, he glared at the speaker. It looked rather like a putrid demon. He looked closer.... it was wearing a Sanc Kingdom School girl's uniform. The horror! Turning a delicate shade of green Duo tried to stand up straight. This was rewarded with a jab in the chest with said pink pitchfork. "Time to get in line." The skirt-wearing demon grinned, prodding Duo along in all sorts of uncomfortable places. Our Braided Hero stumbled dazedly into a long queue, noticing the people it consisted of. There were Yuikito Tsukishiro and Toya Kinomoto, behind them was Nicholas D. Wolfwood followed closely by Count D. "What is this shit!" Duo yelled, "None of us deserve to be in Hell!" He thought about it, "Well, maybe D, but that's only because he let those animals eat people...but he's still cool! And maybe Wolfwood shot a kid but...umm where was I?" More hideous schoolgirl demons brandished their girly, but nonetheless sharp, pitchforks at him. "Shut up, scum!" One yelled, "You are all in Hell because Re-- I mean Satan has it in for you. So there!" The demon blew a raspberry and then, instead of stabbing Duo, settled for stabbing everyone's favorite pet shop owner. Which pissed off the author very much. The naughty, bad demon imploded. Yay. Duo grumbled as more anime characters lined up behind them, none of them deserving to be in Hell. Satan was one dead demon if Duo ever reached him. And what had happened to Heero?