Hey guys! I just read What If It's Us, by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera. It was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! I wasn't satisfied with the ending, though, so I decided to write my own. At least the beginning of one :). Anyways, hope you enjoy, and PLEASE REVIEW! I would love to hear what you think.
Ben
Today is graduation day. I'm waiting on a bench in the subway, and can't stop tapping the wood beneath my hands. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Maybe because I never thought I'd get here? Or maybe it's because it seems like all these things are happening, all these big milestones everyone's always talking about, and I can't fully be there for them. I want to be, but it's like half of me is there, and half of me is still thinking about him. About the boy who should be holding my hand while I throw up the cap, or at least on the sidelines cheering me on. About the boy who I should be studying with for my creative writing final, teaching me stupid mnemonics that actually work, somehow. About the boy who I should be facetiming with, telling him about a pair of weirdly-dressed women I saw today, who were coincidentally matching with their sequins and fur coats.
I couldn't tell you exactly what happened, actually. The calls became less and less frequent, until eventually, they stopped. Life happens, I guess. And now it's like there's a wall above his name on my phone. Sometimes I think about facetiming him, just to ask what's up, but I can't. I just can't. He has his life at Wesleyan (or Wes, as he used to call it. Maybe he still does), and I have mine here. He's just a story to me now, someone that walked into my life, sprinkled some fairy dust or something, and then walked out, leaving me wondering if I had just dreamed the whole thing.
The weirdest part, though? I feel like our story wasn't supposed to end. Like it's still happening, even though it clearly isn't. Like the universe is still rooting for us. The only thing is, the universe can only do so much until at some point we have to decide to make our own future.
I sigh, wishing I could do something and wishing I could just think about something else. The subway approaches, shaking me out of my thoughts. The door opens and I step inside, but not before a striking flash of blue catches my eye.
And shit, I know he's there. I just know it. There's only one shade of blue in this whole fucking world that's as beautiful as that. I turn my body towards the back of the car, shaking, a hungry anticipation building up inside of me as I search for the cause of my sudden burst of adrenaline.
And there he is. Standing, earbuds in both ears. He turns, and his eyes lock onto mine. I swear his entire face grows brighter, and there's something in his eyes that makes me want to rush over and kiss him until there you wouldn't be able to tell who is me and who is him. We'd just be one. But then he whispers something, and even though we're standing too far apart in a crowded and noisy subway car, I swear I hear him. Three words.
Ben Hugo Alejo.