A/N: Thanks to all of you great readers and reviewers, I decided to write another story that's related to both 'To Be Lazy' and 'Easier Said Than Done'. I really like the universe it's in too and think writing in it is fun! And is this thing long or what? It was really supposed to be short but I got carried away... *sigh*
So here's a Triquel!
Okay...I know it's not called that, but bare/bear with me. It's so late at night I don't even know what the right spelling is. I'm so sorry T-T
Warning: Language, slight OOC, and some violence...
Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I don't and probably- okay NEVER- will own Naruto.
...
Darn :P
Saturday 1:13 AM
April 10th
"Alright boys...and lady," Sasori said, overlooking the small crew at their kitchen table. "We have a problem." He was dressed comfortably in grey flannel pajama pants and a white beater, red hair mussed as always and an impassive look on his normally mischevious face. It was near spring in the area they lived in, but vicious storms had been passing through the city as of late. As a result, most stores and businesses had shut down- leaving many people on lockdown in their own homes.
Including them.
No work for any of them and no school for Deidara.
Luckily for those who had to pay bills in the apartment- namely Pein and Konan- even the landlords had put payments on hold, being surprisingly understanding of the predicament at hand.
Boy were they kind.
"No, no, and fuck no," Hidan muttered, already beginning to push out of his seat across from the redhead. "I'm going the hell back to sleep!" He was donned in a baggy shirt, sweatpants, and velcro hat. There was this annoying leak in the ceiling right above his head for some reason and it was making him in a very prissy mood. He'd like to see how everyone else reacted being woken every few seconds with an onslaught of rain pouring onto their head. And if Sasori got his lazy ass up to actually fix the damn crack, he wouldn't have to be so angry all the time!
Dammit!
Sasori rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair with a bored look. "Don't get angry just because you get helmet hair every time you take that stupid hat off," he said.
Hidan paused in the kitchen doorway, only to stomp back over to the table in anger and slam his hands down on its worn wooden surface. "Shut the hell up! I don't have fucking helmet hair!"
"Yes you do," Kisame muttered, cleaning his ringing ear out with a finger. He too was wearing a casual shirt and sweatpants. There was no need to get dressed up in anything more than comfortable clothing, seeing as he was in his home and wasn't planning on leaving the place until his work called for him to come in. His hair was sloppily gelled, causing his sort-of-mohawk to lean to the side like a flopping fish. Several loose strands of navy hair was falling into his eyes and it was quite irritating. Hearing Hidan shout like the madman he was wasn't exactly improving his mood either. Since the thirty-four year old man was off from work, he had planned to get a good night and probably day's rest.
But then Sasori came barging into their room with an airhorn, shouting that they needed to get up or he'd try doing household chores again.
The threat worked like a charm. But it didn't mean anybody had to be happy about it.
Hidan turned on Kisame in an instant, rudely jabbing a finger into the older man's face. "I DO NOT!" he screamed, red-faced and obviously sleep-deprived.
Kisame stared at the finger, trying to decide whether to bend it back or not. In the end he decided to leave it alone. He'd rather deal with the offending appendage than have to hear the silver-haired man's curses at him all morning. So he merely sighed and looked away. "Whatever..."
Hidan narrowed his eyes. "Don't 'whatever' me you-"
"Oh shut up and sit down," Konan snapped, already tired of the meaningless bickering. She rested in her chair with her arms over her stomach, dressed in loose pants and one of Pein's shirts. Her blue hair hung messily around her pale face, amber eyes filled with irritation. The rain was making it miserable out and putting her in a foul mood. Since no stores were open, they had been forced to scrounge around in their pantries and fridge for anything to make. Living off of rice crackers and humus for the last two days was enough to make anyone mad- especially having it for six consecutive meals in a row.
Screw not being a happy camper!
She was turning into a homicidal one.
Pein eyed his beloved 'wife' carefully and then turned his gaze onto Sasori who had been watching the argument with mild interest. "Will you tell us what you called us out for this time?" he asked. He may have been annoyed by being woken from his peaceful slumber, but his curiosity on the matter was slowly overtaking any bad feeling he was experiencing. And though he would never admit it aloud, being snuggled in a blanket with a thin grey beater and comfortable pants was lulling him into a nice sense of serenity and peace.
For now anyway.
"I'll tell you as soon as Hidan sits back down," Sasori replied.
Hidan scowled, folding his arms across his broad chest with his bright eyes flashing. "I refuse to fucking sit down," he said. "It's just going to turn into another plot like you and your damn laziness and Deidara with his fuckin' hot chocolate!"
"But those were funny to watch," Madara said in a chipper tone. "Except for the plunger in the bathroom. Now that was scary..."
The silver-haired man glared at him darkly. "None of those were funny," he growled, thinking back to how many times he was injured in the week Deidara had been taken off of his momentary hot chocolate craze.
Madara rolled his dark eyes. "You just have no sense of humor," he flippantly said. The man wore black-laced gloves and stripped arm warmers, a plain white t-shirt and one of Konan's old skirts that fell to his knees. His hair was parted down the side and slicked down with gel, a miniature top hat on the corner of his head.
No one questioned him.
He was the only one out of them all who seemed cheerful at being woken up at the ungodly and all too familiar hour, probably because he had been planning on waking them up with two cookie sheets just for fun anyway.
"I think I'm the only fucking sane one in this entire damn place," Hidan resolutely said, nodding to himself as if confirming the thought.
"What are you talking about? You're the one with the most problems," Zetsu sighed, running a hand through the front of his short bangs. He was slumped next to Madara, expression droll and posture slacking. Like everyone else in the place, he too valued his sleeping time. Sleeping which was cut short for what would most likely turn out to be another wacky situation. He had thrown on a pair of shorts and a hoodie as soon as he had seen Sasori snap upright in his bed, a maniacal glint in his eye. Honestly- he should just stop setting his alarm clock. He was never woken up by it anymore.
Hidan snapped a head over to the green-haired man's direction. "I dare you to say that again bitch!"
"Why are you shouting?" Itachi angrily asked, looking at Hidan with something akin to distaste. His hair was straightened this time and pulled back into its classic low ponytail, although his bangs were pinned back. He sat snugly in his usual spot at the table, wearing a black t-shirt and navy boxers. Unlike everyone else, he had been prepared when Sasori came barging in. He had been waiting for something like this to happen- knowing that once the cycle of waking them all up in the morning started, it would never be broken. So it wasn't that he was upset about being woken up. Rather- it was the person resting their head on his shoulder that was bothering him.
And it seemed Hidan noticed this because he wasted no time in smugly pointing it out. "Aww. Does 'Tachi not like playing the big brother role?"
"I'm not playing any role," Itachi seethed. "I just don't feel like pushing him off."
"Yeah right," Hidan scoffed, although it looked as if he had calmed down considerably.
Deidara was knocked out on the dark-haired man's shoulder, long blonde hair in a messy braid down his back and breath somewhat heavy and obnoxious for someone who looked so peaceful as he slept. Tiny headphones were jammed into the artist's ears, blasting a song they could all hear and recognized as 'Chop Suey'. Dressed in nothing more than a ragged pair of shorts and an oversized long-sleeved shirt he had stolen from Kisame some time ago, he truly looked like the baby of the group.
Itachi really wouldn't have minded had it not been for the large amount of drool accumulating on his collarbone and sliding down his shirt.
Hence the reason he was pissed.
Everyone in the apartment was only allowed to take one shower a day unless it was an emergency due to Kakuzu's claims of the rising water bill and need to save the planet. Although they all knew he was more worried about the former than the latter. And speaking of the older man...
"Where is Kakuzu?" Itachi asked, if only to take his mind off the slober coating his skin beneath his clothes.
Sasori hummed. "Finally someone noticed," he said with a slight smirk. "I'll tell you as soon as Hidan sits and Deidara wakes up."
Hidan grumbled, his interest peaked at hearing Kakuzu's name. "Alright, alright. Damn manipulative fucker...I'll sit," he grumbled. But as to how Sasori managed to be a 'manipulative fucker' was beyond the rest of the group.
Sasori didn't seem to mind the name though.
All eyes then snapped to their two youngest living with them.
Itachi's eye unwillingly twitched.
As if sensing the attention of the group on him, Deidara slowly cracked open his eyes, mind heavy with exhaustion. He hadn't minded being up last time because he had called the others in the apartment for the meeting on Sasori, but being forcibly pulled out of bed by his best friend and airhorn was ridiculous. With a heavy sigh he lifted his head off of Itachi and stretched his arms a bit, the bones in his back cracking. He rotated his shoulders and then brought his gaze across everyone staring at him. "...What?"
"I hate when people crack their bones," Konan muttered.
Deidara gave a lazy smirk, purposefully cracking his fingers.
Konan felt her brow quirk. "Try that again you little tyrant..." she dangerously said.
Deidara's smirk grew. "So what's going on un?" he lightly questioned.
Sasori gave him an amused look. "We're here to discuss an issue regarding Kakuzu brat. Do your best to try and stay awake, okay?"
Deidara yawned, the word 'discussion' causing him to suddenly feel tired. The only discussion he liked was if he started the conversation or was in some way involved. Besides, one of the others could fill him in. "Whatever hmm..." his eyes drifted closed and he went to lean against Itachi again.
Itachi quickly moved his shoulder out of the way. "Sleep on someone else Dei."
Deidara somehow mustered up the will to glare at his roommate. "But you're the closest," he said, almost whining.
"I don't care."
Deidara furrowed his brows in annoyance. "Why the hell are you such a bitch Uchiha?"
Itachi glowered at him. "I am not a bitch Iwa. I am a man and a person. But you might want to reconsider yourself. The rate at which your saliva glands were working could easily fool anyone," he said in a tight voice.
"Shut up un!" Deidara yelled, suddenly wide-awake in anger.
"Something is seriously screwed up with their relationship," Hidan said in an exasperated tone, opting to rest his chin in both palms of his hands from where his elbows were propped on the table.
Kisame snorted. "Speak for yourself," he uttered in a low tone.
"What the fuck did you say!"
Konan ground her teeth in annoyance, her fists clenching and unclenching under the table. If one more person screamed...
"I'm thirsty!" Madara loudly proclaimed, looking very bored with everything that was going on.
"THAT'S IT!" Konan roared before standing from her seat and lunging for the short-haired brunette.
Zetsu tried to shield Madara with his arms, but cowered under the menacing fury of the woman before him. "P-Please don't eat me!" he cried, throwing his arms over his head.
Pein released a heavy sigh, covering his face with his hands and leaning forward on the table. "Just one day of peace...that's all I ask for..." he mumbled to himself, trying to ignore the fact that Sasori was laughing at his misfortune and growing headache.
"What's...happening in here?" a tired voice questioned.
All eyes flew over to the doorway where a groggy Kakuzu stood, blearily rubbing the corners of his bloodshot eyes. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail, his bangs covering a majority of his face and mouth hanging open slightly. His skin seemed paler than usual and it even looked like he had lost weight. The dark sleeved shirt he wore with the logo of his old college hung lopsidedly off a shoulder, grey plaid pajama pants covering his legs.
All in all, he looked quite ill.
Pein looked at the oldest man of the house in concern. "Are you alright?" he questioned.
"Hm?" Kakuzu blinked at the apartment head. "Oh I'm fine. I was just finishing up some documents."
"I thought you didn't have work," Zetsu pointedly said.
"I don't. But we never know when we can be called in for business," Kakuzu said, straightening his slouching posture slightly. "It's always good to be prepared, so I've taken the liberty of working ahead of time."
Madara lifted both brows in his direction. "Who would want to do that?"
Kakuzu fixed him with a light glare. "Me. Now what are all of you doing in here?"
"Sorry old man," Sasori said with a wave of his hand. "This is 'youth morning'. You're a bit past the age limit to be here."
Kakuzu felt a blood vessel in his neck burst. "Who the hell are you calling old man?"
Sasori smirked, looking away. "Obviously you," he snidely said.
"Hmph. Whatever." The tired man turned around. "I'm going to try and catch some sleep. You idiots don't be too loud," he muttered.
Sasori cheerfully grinned, waving his fingers. "Sure thing Gramps!"
"Shut up!" Kakuzu shouted over his shoulder, storming out the kitchen.
Sasori waited until he positive Kakuzu had gone back into his room before dropping the smile off his face. "Did you see those bags under his eyes?" he asked, intently staring at his group of comrades. "That's the problem I wanted to talk to you about. It looks like Kakuzu has a dangerous problem. I dare say he is..."
"Is...?" Zetsu questioned.
Sasori tapped his fingers on the table. "He is..."
"Is...?" Itachi dipped his shoulder down, accidentally causing Deidara's head to slip and slam onto the table.
"Ow un!"
Sasori eyed the blonde artist and then let out a frustrated sigh. "Is..."
"Is? Is?" Konan impatiently pried.
Sasori shamefully looked away. "Is..."
"Oh. My. Fucking- I'm gonna shoot myself." Hidan dug his nails into the surface of the table, a blood vessel in his forehead threatening to pop. "Tell us already you damn man!"
Sasori smirked at Hidan's irritation before fixing the others with a serious gaze. "Kakuzu is...a workaholic."
"..."
Everyone deadpanned at the redhead. "Haaaaaaaaaaaaa?"
Hidan shook his head, standing up much like he had towards the beginning of their gathering. "Okay. That's it fuckers. I'm definitely leaving now."
Sasori blinked. "What for?"
"Because you fucking called us out to tell us all something we already knew!" Hidan exclaimed.
"Did I really...?" Sasori thoughtfully murmured to himself, stroking his chin. Although the glint in his eyes told them that he was well aware of this fact and just liked to see them pissed off and aggravated. He snorted before waving a hand at the irate silver-haired man. "Oh relax. If you guys knew about this issue beforehand, then why didn't you think to take care of it?"
"We didn't think of it as an issue," Konan muttered.
"Seriously," Kisame groaned. "You just find it an issue because you sit around and do nothing."
"I do not," Sasori protested, looking the tiniest bit offended. "I'll have you know that I read books and entertain myself with your suffering."
Kisame and Konan felt their brows quirk. "Really now?" they asked in unison.
Pein, catching on to their aggravated auras and not wanting to have to break apart a fight so early in the morning, quickly cut off anything else Sasori might have said to provoke them by saying, "So Kakuzu may work a little bit overtime. But it's no big deal really."
"No big deal?" Itachi raised a brow in the orange-haired man's direction. "I find myself agreeing with Sasori on this matter. Kakuzu has an almost unhealthy tendency to work himself more than necessary."
"Itachi's right un," Deidara said, massaging a red welt on his forehead. He now rested one arm on the table, a knee drawn to his chest. "All work's been cancelled but all he's done the few times I see him, is sit in his room on his laptop and work. I don't even think he's aware of what he looks like now."
Zetsu ran a hand over his brow in thought. "Hmm...they both speak the truth. We all know Kakuzu takes pride in his sophisticated appearance. One that he's lacking at the moment."
"Hmph. The asshole does look a bit worse for wear," Hidan gruffly admitted, wandering back to his seat. To be honest, he wasn't planning on leaving the kitchen. He really just couldn't sit too still for long periods of time since the lack of movement from his body caused his nerves to get jittery. Besides, he didn't like being left out on something everyone else in the apartment was in, and though he would never admit it aloud, he and Kakuzu were sort of buddies. In a hate-hate relationship.
But hey- at least it was some kind of relationship.
"A bit?" Madara scoffed at him. "You're the mighty observer aren't you?"
Hidan glared at him with scrutinizing eyes. "I get the feeling you're insulting me prick."
Madara grinned and averted his gaze. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said.
"Getting back to Kakuzu," Sasori easily intervened, "I think something should be done before he keels over and dies." His muddy brown eyes flicked over to Pein, looking at him with something akin to curiosity. "Will you help us this time?"
Pein sternly stared at the redhead. "You know I make it a point not to get involved with things like this."
"But it's Kakuzu," Sasori said. "And he wasn't looking any healthier you know."
"..." Pein sighed, hanging his head. "I guess I could help out. But I'm not getting involved in any crazy plots, understand?"
Sasori gave a salute. "Roger that!" He motioned for everyone else to move in closer. "Alright you guys. If we're going to get the old man to back off work we're going to have to work together..."
And as the thirty-five year old man presumed to gather the attention of eight other men and a woman in his scheme to get Kakuzu to lay off the papers, Pein exhaustedly rested back in his chair and hoped that whatever they were planning would not cause them financial bills like last time or psychopathic housemates like the time before that.
But nothing ever went his way in the apartment of crazy adults and Deidara.
He probably should have never agreed.
Saturday 11:14 AM
April 10th
Hidan sat seething on his bed, a pillow pulled tightly to his chest in an effort to keep in his barely restrained anger and his legs crossed under him. His hair was sticking up all over the place and his lips were set in an ugly scowl. He had changed into a pair of cargo shorts and casual purple shirt ever since he had been woken up around seven.
Yes. Seven 'o clock.
Despite the fact that he had no work, Deidara saw it fit to set his alarm clock on the regular schedule that it normally went off. When the shrill bell pierced the peaceful air, Itachi tumbled out of bed, Kisame hit his head against the wall, and Hidan began screaming his head off at the blonde for being such a moron and ruining his paradise-like dream.
Deidara, in a rush to shut it off before either Itachi or Hidan could inflict bodily harm, knocked the clock off his dresser, causing one of the screws to get jammed in the alarm button. Itachi got up and left the room to sleep on the couch while the other two, too lazy or tired to even think of getting up, remained in their own beds and prayed that the noise would stop.
The bell hadn't stopped ringing since.
Hidan was ready to bash his head through a wall, and would have done so had it not been for the fact that he already had a pounding headache. In fact, he started to think he was deaf in his left ear.
Deidara paused in his attempt to fix his clock, glancing over at him slyly to smirk. His hair was still in its loose braid, but now he wore his favorite pair of white-washed jeans and a red long-sleeved shirt. He sat cross-legged on his bed as he mocking asked, "Something the matter Hidan hmm?"
Hidan felt a vessel in his neck burst.
The little blonde brat knew what he was doing and it was pissing him off!
Kisame was next to him, still in his nightclothes, and texting one of his old buddies on his phone. "Don't look so tense Hidan," he mumbled. Having time off of work was fun- but only if there was something worthwhile to do with their time off.
"Aren't you the least bit annoyed?" Hidan grit out, feeling an eye twitch as the alarm went off again. "He's been fucking doing that for the last four hours."
"I stopped hearing properly two hours ago Hidan," Kisame said in a reassuring voice.
Though as to why it was reassuring, Hidan had no idea.
Hidan glowered even more darkly than before, his strength having been sapped out of him quite some time ago from sitting in the same position for more than four hours. "Oi bitch!" he called out to Deidara. "Why isn't this noise fucking bothering you at all?" he angrily asked.
Who the hell could keep a smile on while sitting two inches from that annoying clock?
Deidara lifted a brow and then pulled out one of the ear plugs that he had stuffed in. "Did you say something un?"
Hidan felt like tearing his pillow in two.
~X~
It was eerily calm in the room across the hall.
If one ignored the faint ringing from their friends' room.
Kakuzu slowly cracked open his eyes and sat up, blinking like a newborn baby as he took in the bright light from the window falling across the floor and a warm feeling pool in his gut. He felt fantastic! Who knew one night of good rest would make him feel so alive? He glanced at the clock on Sasori's dresser on the other side of the room, yawning slightly. "Hmm...I don't remember ever sleeping in so late and WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he suddenly exclaimed, eyes wide as he looked at the redhead on the bed across from him.
Flipped upside down with its back open was his laptop.
His precious laptop in the hands of a man who was pulling out a pair of pliers from the large tool box in front of him.
Kakuzu had to take several deep breaths to calm his thudding heart and racing mind, slowly swinging himself out of bed to watch Sasori who was smirking to himself.
"Oh you're up," Madara cheerfully said from where he was sprawled on his own mattress, playing on a DS. "How do you feel?"
Kakuzu briefly glanced at him, noticing that both the brunette and redhead hadn't bothered to change out of the clothes they were in when he last saw them. "I don't think I can really say... Does well-rested count?"
"It counts," Zetsu's voice said from inside their room's walk-in closet. He came out a moment later, running a hand through his short hair. He was wearing a buttoned white dress shirt, although the top three buttons were undone, and jeans with holes in them.
Madara approvingly hummed once he saw his friend. "Looking good."
Zetsu rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
Kakuzu was a tad bit confused. "Zetsu, why are you dressed like that? You realize none of us can leave the apartment, right?"
Zetsu nodded, heading for the door. "I know. But Itachi's making a business video to send over to some music industry guys who are interested in him. And he wants me to play as his manager for the time being, so I have to look somewhat presentable."
"Then shouldn't you wear slacks?" Kakuzu inquired.
"Nah." Zetsu pulled open the door, looking over his shoulder at Kakuzu. "They won't see anything from the waist down so it's all good." He grinned slightly and then left, closing the door gently behind him.
Kakuzu grumbled something to himself in thought and then glanced back to Sasori, trying to figure out exactly why the man had a rusty chainsaw in his hands. He suddenly felt himself growing more and more nervous with each passing second. Things that shouldn't be in a tool box were being pulled out of it now. "Sasori...would you care to inform me why you have my laptop in your possession?"
Sasori uninterestedly hummed, picking up a screwdriver and studying it to see if it woud fit the bolts on the computer. "It's going through some technical difficulties, so I thought I'd fix it for you," he said.
Kakuzu stared at him. "You never do work like this. What are you up to?" he suspiciously asked.
Sasori innocently blinked, bringing out a sledgehammer. "Nothing. I just know how important you getting your documents done is. You'll be happier working with a computer that works- right?"
Kakuzu sighed, sitting back down on his bed. "Fine..."
Madara looked over at him. "Maybe you should get some rest or something."
"That sounds like a good idea," Kakuzu grumbled. He laid down and threw his covers over him, turning onto his back so he wouldn't be too exposed to the light shining through their closed curtains. Though he did find it odd that Sasori would bother fixing his laptop, he knew the younger man was a skilled mechanic and worked well when he wanted to. He really should have nothing to worry about.
But it didn't stop his gut from twisting in a foreboding manner.
Sasori's sadistic chuckles were really kind of disturbing.
As soon as Kakuzu closed his eyes, he heard the door to their room open and felt light footsteps walking across the floor by his bed to stop at Sasori's. He inwardly raised his brows in question but settled for feigning his sleep.
Only once he shut his eyes, he actually did fall asleep.
"Morning Itachi," Sasori greeted, not looking up from the laptop in front of him.
Itachi wanted to question but chose not to. There were some things better left unsaid. So instead he cleared his throat and said, "I'm going to borrow that sledgehammer." He was dressed in a button-down teal shirt, the collars at the wrists flipped back, and dark jeans. His hair was completely straightened and pulled back, bangs framing his face almost perfectly.
Almost.
Madara refused to believe that anybody living in the crazy apartment could look so composed.
Sasori's ears perked up at this as he studied the shipping label still plastered to the bottom of the computer. He really didn't know why Kakuzu kept it on. There wasn't exactly a point... "What do you need my hammer for?"
"To shut something up," the Uchiha said before grabbing the object and swiftly exiting the room.
Madara hummed thoughtfully as the dark-haired man left. "I wonder what it's for...?" he muttered in curiosity.
"Who knows," Sasori amusedly drawled.
In the next room over they could hear the sounds of faint screaming and triumphant cheers.
"THANK FUCKIN' GOD!"
"What the hell are you doing un?"
"Shutting that monstrosity up."
"Fuck you Uchiha! You owe me a new one!"
"I owe you nothing Iwa. Now stop messing around. You're going to hold the camera while Zetsu and I make a video."
"I'm not holding the camera while you two make a porno- Ow!"
Madara lifted a brow, pushing himself off his bed a bit. "I'm sure glad I'm not stuck in that room," he said.
Sasori smirked. "Me too." He brought his gaze to where the oldest man in the apartment slept. "Kakuzu sure can sleep through a lot."
"It looks that way doesn't it," Madara murmured, directing his attention back to the animal on his DS which was currently dying from lack of love. He inwardly rolled his eyes and had one of his other animals eat the little fluffball up. After all, no room for the weak in his universe of vicious animals.
Itachi came walking back into the room and handed the fairly large hammer to Sasori. "Thanks."
"Sure." Sasori accepted the potentially fatal tool. "Have fun with your video."
"I'll try," Itachi dryly said, turning on his heel to leave the bedroom once again.
The redhead waited until the Uchiha had vanished completely before tilting his head in a contemplating manner. "Well I suppose I should take care of this now..." he hefted the hammer between his hands.
Madara snapped to a sitting position, his eyes wide in disbelief as he realized the other man's intention. "No way Sasori! You don't know how much Kakuzu depends on that computer. It's like his lifeline!" he exclaimed.
With a careless shrug, Sasori stood up on his bouncy mattress and brought the sledgehammer down on the laptop that had been keeping Kakuzu awake for so many late hours and nights.
The computer shattered excellently.
Kakuzu jumped out of bed as if someone had stabbed him with a pitchfork in the stomach, eyes wide. "What happened?" he shouted.
Both Sasori and Madara seemed surprised, exchanging a glance with one another. "He heard that but not all the screaming?" Madara questioned, clearly baffled.
Sasori somberly shook his head to himself, dropping the hammer he held. "The world is strange..."
Kakuzu stared at the broken mess that was once his baby lying on the bed of its destroyer. "What...did you do?" he practically whispered.
Sasori tilted his head to the side, the epitome of innocence. "The hammer slipped," he said.
Kakuzu felt his face turn purple with rage. "It...slipped? I just saw you holding it."
"Fortunately," Sasori ignored what was said and pulled out a tiny chip from within the pile of wires, plastic, and metal debris, holding it out to the older man. "I managed to save your data chip. All you need to do is buy a new laptop. But since all the stores are closed, you'll have to wait a while. Not to mention the fact that you'll have to save up money for that buy. And who knows how long that'll take." He smiled pleasantly at Kakuzu who was violently twitching. "Tough luck huh?"
"S...SASORI!"
Sunday 6:31 PM
April 11th
Kakuzu sat in the living room, arms crossed and a deep scowl set on his already grouchy features.
He wore a black shirt and loose jeans, a thick blanket wrapped around his body for no reason in particular. It was mildly warm in the apartment with the furnace now functioning properly, but he felt chilled to the bone. He had tied a polka-dotted bandana on his head and let his hair out loose in an attempt to make his neck and head warmer, although it wasn't doing anything but cause him to unecessarily sweat. But it wasn't his fault. His brain wasn't thinking right.
Without his laptop, he couldn't type up his documents or research the latest news. He couldn't write freely on Microsoft Words or create presentations on PowerPoint without his laptop. Without his baby...he was nothing!
And it was pissing him off!
"Stupid Sasori," he grumbled, flipping through the T.V. channels which had a lot of static due to the thunderstorms. Not only did he have no work to do, but there was nothing to keep him entertained while he moped around the apartment.
Hidan walked into the room with a large bowl of popcorn and glass of soda. "Hey bitch," he greeted. He wore a grey beater with several holes from his raking attempts and a pair of ragged jeans. His white socks had holes were the toes were supposed to be covered, and he had pulled a red book sock over his un-gelled hair for some reason.
Kakuzu glared at him. "Don't 'hey bitch' me," he snapped, not even questioning the other's attire.
Hidan raised both brows, setting his cup down on the table beside the sofa and then plopping down a moment later beside the older man. "What's got your fucking knickers in a bunch?" he asked as he snatched the remote out Kakuzu's hand.
Kakuzu gave him a dark look. "My computer got destroyed yesterday by a psychopathic redhead with a hammer and now I don't know what to do," he growled. He tugged anxiously on the bottom of his bandana a moment later- a habit he picked up whenever he was anxious or worrying about something. "What if I get called for work? I'll have nothing ready to turn in or give to my clients. They'll fire me!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hidan defensively lifted his hands, having turned the channel to where a chick flick was playing. "Look dude, I think you need to relax. A day or two off from work isn't going to be the end of the goddamn world. Pollution and assholes who throw shit out the window while they drive are already doing a nice enough job." He pushed the bowl of popcorn under Kakuzu's nose. "So sit back and chill for a while."
"I...I can't," Kakuzu muttered, averting his gaze from the junk food.
Hidan felt a smirk spread across his face. "Yes you can. Besides, do you honestly think you're gonna have anything else to do in a storm like this other than watch movies?"
Kakuzu's resolve- which had been broken the moment his laptop was- crumbled completely as the silver-haired man waved the bowl tauntingly near his mouth. "I suppose one day wouldn't be so bad..." he gruffly admitted. It would be nice to unwind for a bit and not have to stress. But only for this one time! He wouldn't give in to temptation so easily again next time! "Fine. Hand over the food."
Hidan gladly sat the bowl in between them. He guessed he wasn't so bad at getting people to take poles out of their asses after all. Kakuzu looked better when he smiled anyway. At least in his opinion. Konan seemed to like guys who kept an air of maturity and seriousness around them.
Hmph.
He could be mature if he wanted.
Kakuzu raised a brow once he saw what movie they were watching, taking a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. "The Notebook? Really Hidan?"
"What?" Hidan gave him an affronted look. "It's a really good movie full of emotion and love! It touches my fucking heart!"
Kakuzu blinked before slyly smiling. "Do the others know about your movie preference? From what Itachi told me, you like horror and gruesome films," he said.
Hidan looked away, face heating up in anger. "I can watch what I fucking like asshole!"
"Well next time we go to the movies as a group, I'll let you choose what we watch," Kakuzu said with a deep chuckle. "I'm sure the others would be thrilled. Don't worry, I know for a fact that Kisame and Deidara like heartwarming stories too."
"S-Shut the hell up!"
~X~
Out in the hallway listening in on the conversation happening in the living room was Kisame and Sasori.
"Hey...there's nothing wrong with liking those kinds of movies," Kisame muttered, sounding like he was reassuring himself more than anything else. He hung his arms dejectedly inside his leather jacket, legs barely showing goosebumps from the slight chill in the air beneath his weatherman pants.
Sasori comfortingly patted him on the back, having stolen Konan's blue arm warmers and wearing both Pein's work shirt and slacks. He would have put on his own clothes that day had it not been for the fact that they were too high on the closet shelf. And getting a chair required a bit too much effort. "I know, I know," he told Kisame. "If it makes you feel any better, I read books like that."
"R-Really?" Kisame hopefully peered at him.
"When I feel like getting into or out of an angst," Sasori honestly said.
"For some reason..." Kisame started to say with a deadpan expression. "I don't feel any better."
Sasori shrugged.
Kakuzu's rich laughter rang throughout the apartment again.
Deidara, who was walking out from the kitchen with a popsicle in his hand, paused behind Sasori with wide eyes. "Was that Kakuzu?" he questioned in disbelief. He had put on baggy grey sweatpants and a red t-shirt with a large exploding bird on it; his hair pulled up into its classic half-ponytail.
Sasori smirked, taking the iced treat right out of the artist's mouth before putting it in his own and beginning to walk away. "Yup. And you got sour apple too- my favorite flavor brat."
Deidara angrily stomped after the older man. "You say that about every flavor I get!" he furiously shouted, starting to chase down the now running away redhead. "That's not funny you stupid old man un! It was the last one!"
Kisame watched them disappear with a slightly exasperated expression. Those two were always starting trouble... He turned to leave and maybe grab a quick bite to eat before playing poker with Madara and Zetsu, pausing only once to listen to the sound of Kakuzu teasing Hidan relentlessly. It was odd, knowing that the man had a playful side to him. And slightly disturbing.
Did lack of work actually cause Kakuzu to turn into some sort of...happy person?
The thought was too good to be true!
Kisame grinned, shaking his head and heading for the kitchen. "And Pein thought this was going to cause trouble...doesn't seem like it," he cheerfully said aloud.
People sure liked to think positive nowadays.
~X~
About three hours later the television had a broken screen.
Apparently Kakuzu had gotten too emotional after they started watching the 'Titanic' and threw a fit which included chucking the remote, popcorn bowl, and a sofa cushion at the screen playing the theme song of the movie.
"Damn you iceburg! You make me so happy!"
"Um...Kakuzu?"
"Stupid boat! Float, damn you, float!"
"Kaku-"
"This movie makes me angry!"
And then he laughed madly for fifteen minutes until Hidan had grown so scared that he ran out and got Pein to knock the man out before he began going on a happily tearful rampage through the apartment and killed somebody.
Kisame sweatdropped as Kakuzu was dragged into his room.
"I spoke too soon..."
Monday 8:53 AM
April 12th
Kakuzu slowly opened his eyes the next day, feeling more recharged than ever. He had really tired himself out after his rant on the Titanic, and didn't want to think about the cost of the damage he had done to the living room and television. The others would never let him live it down...
"Good morning~" a voice cheerfully greeted him.
The oldest man of the apartment raised a brow and pushed himself into a sitting position to look at Sasori.
Or tried to anyway.
His wrists were being tied down by skillfully made knots to the sides of his mattress.
"What is this?" Kakuzu asked, his brain always having been quick for registering things in the early hours of the day. He noticed neither Madara or Zetsu were in the room, but judging by the noise coming from down the hall, he could safely presume that a majority of the group was lounging in the kitchen for breakfast. He briefly wondered why Sasori wasn't with them, but the reasoning for the ropes around him overtook that curiosity easily.
Sasori smiled at him, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a loose shirt with his hair mussed and obviously unbrushed. Although he never really brushed it properly so... "I didn't want you moving around too much today. I think it's a good idea for you to relax."
"How is tying me down a good way to-" Kakuzu cut himself off and looked down as he felt a draft in the room.
And then he screamed.
"WHY AM I IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!" he yelled, looking up at Sasori with wide eyes. The redhead was sitting quite contentedly in a chair by their shared desk with a box of papers in his lap and shredder beside him. A box of papers that looked strangely like his documents which he had worked very hard over into many long nights. "W-What are you doing?" he stuttered out in question, not wanting to hear the answer he knew to be true.
Sasori looked at him with a sadistic smile. "I'm just cleaning up all this paper that was lying around," he said. "The room was beginning to get messy."
Kakuzu stared at him in disbelief. "My files were locked away in the closet in the furthest corner!" he exclaimed.
"It was bothering me." Sasori went back to the box of papers in front of him, shuffling through the documents with raised brows. "I really didn't want it to come to this," he woefully said. "But you're letting work overtake you. Not only is it bad for your health, but it's bugging everyone else in here too. Now you'll pay by watching me destroy the things that have slowly been destroying you."
"Since when do you give speeches?" Kakuzu muttered, looking away from the redhead. He wasn't that obsessed with work. He just wanted to get all his business taken care of before relaxing. Granted- he hadn't finished with his business and had yet to take a vacation, but he was getting there! He now knew how Sasori felt when Deidara had gathered them to try and fix his laziness issue.
The help was appreciated but unecessary.
He knew what he was doing and knew what he was getting into when going out for his career. And sure the stress caused him to be unbelievable uptight and grouchy at times but... that was just the way he was.
"You're awfully quiet," Sasori commented without glancing at him. "What's on your mind?"
Kakuzu gave him a look. "I'm surprised you asked. I thought you didn't like probing into people's mind."
"Well I'm not doing anything else," Sasori replied. "And you lying there is awkward."
"Whose fault is that!" Kakuzu roared, wanting to get up but not able to because of the ropes tying him down. He released a heavy sigh out of frustration. "Nevermind. Where are my clothes?" He wanted nothing more than to break free of the bonds keeping him in place and cover his body up.
He felt a bit exposed.
"Oh- right." The thirty-five year old man looked at him with his eyes glowing in amusement. "They're being given away to kids who need the clothes more than you right now. Your suits sold for a surprising amount of money online-"
"WHAT!"
"-but don't worry- you can wear some of Kisame's or Hidan's for a while."
"When I get out of these ropes, you are a dead man," Kakuzu threateningly growled.
Sasori grinned, shredding another paper. "Well you're free to get up and stop me if you can," he mischeviously said. "But know that if you do, you'll be walking around this place naked until you convince the others to lend you some clothes."
Kakuzu remained in bed, forced to watch as his precious documents were ripped to pieces before his eyes.
Sasori took one look at his miserable and bundled up form before bursting out into loud laughter.
~X~
About two hours later, Sasori was beginning to think maybe it wasn't worth sitting in the same spot shredding papers. He was only on the second box of files, but there was so much inside it seemed as if the stacks weren't going down at all.
And there were seven more crates left to go through.
Sasori sighed, idly sending another sheet of paper through the machine in front of him and listening to the loud buzzing noise it made. His backbone had already gone numb after the last sixty minutes, but now it was starting to ache with a dull throb. He blamed his ever growing age and the wooden chair he sat in.
Glancing over his shoulder, the redhead found that Kakuzu had fallen sleep somewhere along the passing time. And if it wasn't for the fact that the man was still bound by his wrists to his mattress, he would have looked perfectly at ease.
"Sasori?"
He looked towards the door to see Pein in the doorway, holding two cups in his hands and a curious expression on his face. "Hey Pein," he greeted.
Pein slowly blinked. "What are you doing?" he asked in slight wariness. He was donned in a pair of thick socks, pajama pants, and large grey shirt which told Sasori that the younger man hadn't moved around much that day.
Sasori gave a small heave of his shoulders. "Stuff. What are you doing?"
"I brought coffee for you guys to drink, but I can see Kakuzu is still in bed," Pein said with a raised brow.
Sasori accepted his cup of the black liquid and then shut off the shredder, sitting back in his chair. "Sleep is good for him. He barely gets any when he's focusing on his work and stuff. It makes me feel really bad for him actually..."
Pein sighed, bringing a hand to his brow to rub it in a tired manner. "I know what you mean. But you can't tell the man how to live. He's older than all of us you know."
"I know that." Sasori furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "But I want him to live it up a little bit more. Maybe we should make adult night two times a week instead of one?" he offhandedly suggested.
Pein couldn't help but smirk, turning to leave the room. "Deidara would get angry. How about we just make the time we have- until the storms stop- more interesting for the time being? I think we could all use a little get-together time," he said, already warming up to the idea of having everyone in the apartment work together for a day or two.
A grin broke out across Sasori's face. "Sounds good to me."
Tuesday 5:32 PM
April 13th
"Konan...?"
"Yes Kakuzu?"
"Do you think I...work too much?"
Konan blinked and looked up from the book she was reading on the living room couch. "What brought this on?" she asked, looking at the shadowed form of the older man. The room itself was dimly lit due to the fact that there was a mildly scaring movie playing on the old television set they had set away in case of emergencies, and the volume was turned down to a low hum, creating a real homey atmosphere in the normally chaotic room. Her eyes kind of hurt from the strain of reading in the dark, but she planned on quitting soon enough.
Kakuzu gave a hesitant shrug of his shoulders, his face betraying no emotion. He had managed to get clothes from Kisame and was now dressed in a pair of old track pants and large grey t-shirt. It was actually very comfortable. "I was just curious," he said. "After all, Sasori did kind of break my laptop and destroy my important documents because of my 'unhealthly' obsession with work."
Konan offered a small smile. "Well you do tend to work late into the night," she replied.
"Sasori's just doing it to help you out," Madara idly said from where he laid on the other half of the couch, his head in Itachi's lap. He wore regular shorts and a bright orange beater they no longer sold in stores anymore due to several cases of blinding those within in a twelve mile radius.
Good thing everyone in the apartment was already used to the short-haired brunette's quirky clothing.
"We all are actually. Relaxing will get rid of some of your stress lines," Itachi said. He was wearing similar clothing, although his beater was black and tended to blend into the background a bit better than Madara's. His hair was pulled back in its normal low ponytail. As for why Madara was in his lap...well- he stopped questioning things like that a long time ago.
Kakuzu hung his shoulders heavily, actually looking very weary to the group of three in the room. "I can't help it if I'm always this high-strung. We've got bills to pay in this place, and money to make to bring food in, and-"
"That's what we're all here for, right?" a voice questioned from the doorway.
All eyes went to the doorway where Pein's outline could be seen. He looked like he just got out of bed, which might have been the case after the back-breaking game of Twister the group had played a few hours earlier.
"Still aching?" Madara asked with a hint of mischief in his voice, turning his gaze back to the movie. It was something on flying cats and cheese. Odd- but strangely fascinating.
Pein glowered at the man. "Oh keep quiet. You're the one who belly-flopped on me," he almost snapped.
Madara chuckled. "So I did."
Kakuzu looked at the orange-haired man. Luckily, he sat out on the game to be the spinner. He really rather keep his bones in tack, but it was fun watching all his friends step on one another and spit curses when they collasped like a very unbalanced stack of dominoes. "Should you really be up and walking?"
"I'll be fine," Pein muttered with a small sigh. "But seriously Kakuzu. You can't live your life with no excitement. We do try to liven things up once in a while. And all of us pitch in to help pay for the expenses of living together. If this was bothering you, you could have just told one of us from the start," he said, rubbing his back absently.
Kakuzu had the decency to look abashed. "I suppose I could have..."
Pein smiled and walked forward, clapping him on the shoulder before beginning to drag him over to the couch. "Good. Now sit down and watch this for a bit. I believe Zetsu is making dinner for everyone."
"He is?" Konan looked at him as if shocked. "What is it?"
Pein averted his gaze to the T.V. as he said, "Humus and rice crackers."
"..."
Itachi hung his head as Konan began emitting a dark aura. "That's all we've eaten for a while..."
"At least we're not eating each other," Madara said in a chipper voice.
"True..."
Wenesday 10:53 PM
April 14th
Despite the howling winds and heavy rains raging through the city, the apartment was very lively that night. All the lights in the fairly-sized place turned to their highest level and music blasting out of a stereo Hidan had shoved under his bed. The kitchen was sizzling fantastically and radiating an almost heavenly aura of delicious food.
Yes. Food.
One of the supermarkets had opened up their doors after the constant flooding drained away to nothing but mere puddles.
And half of the city went beserk to try and stack up on rations.
It was a good thing they lived three blocks away from the place and Konan was starving enough to hit anyone in her way with a shopping cart. Unfortunately she could only grab as much as she could carry. But with the ingredients and loaves of bread she managed to stuff down her shirt, it would be enough food for all of them to eat that night.
Thus the reason for their overhyperactive celebration.
No more humus and crackers!
While the majority of the crew was in the kitchen messing around and living it up, Kakuzu sat in the living room, idly staring at the wall above the turned off television. He was slouched in the sofa with an empty plastic cup in his hand and a bandana pulled almost all the way over his eyes. Even though he didn't feel like moving at all, his mind felt clouded with happiness and the urge to punch someone in the face.
"So, how do you feel un?" Deidara cheerfully asked, sitting across from the somber man with a wooden chair from the kitchen pulled close. In one of his hands was a red plastic cup filled with a golden brown liquid that sloshed about quite nicely. Although it was only peach ice tea. The other bastards in the house refused to let him drink because he wasn't an 'adult' yet.
Kakuzu gave an uninterested shrug. He could have said 'like punching you in the face', but he didn't think that'd go over too well.
Hidan glanced at the blonde artist with a smirk from where he sat next to him in a chair of his own, taking an obnoxious swig of his beer. It wasn't enough to get him drunk- hell if he'd let beer be the dirnk to do it. But tonight was supposed to be a fun night. And he wouldn't want to become too much of a party animal.
Deidara glowered at Hidan and then turned attention to Kakuzu once more. "Oh come on," he prodded. "You have to feel something."
"..." Kakuzu felt his happiness pool in the base of his stomach.
"Well un?"
"I..." Kakuzu looked confused for a moment before a large dopey grin spread across his face.
Hidan and Deidara blanched, feeling a chill run up their spine.
"I feel... ALIVE!" Kakuzu suddenly hollered, letting out a wild whoop.
Hidan scrambled to his feet. "No. Not again! Help! help!" he shouted, already running out the room without a second look back.
Deidara was about to follow when a certain man over the age of fifty forced him into a fast-paced jive.
To a rap song.
"My body feels so out of sync!" Deidara cried, trying to pull away from Kakuzu who was madly cackling. "Help, help, help, help!"
Kakuzu laughed, throwing the blonde artist into a spin and dip.
Pein ran into the room with Hidan and Zetsu behind him, both trying to pry Deidara away from Kakuzu.
"Let go of him!" Zetsu said in an exasperated tone.
"Kakuzu stop this madness!" Pein shouted, giving Deidara's arm a rough tug.
"Ow, ow, ow un! Watch it!" Deidara angrily exclaimed.
"I'LL NEVER RELEASE HIM!" Kakuzu proclaimed with a bark of amusement.
Well in the end of all the struggling, Deidara's face met wonderfully with the floor and Kakuzu's foot made a dashing hole in the couch.
One would have thought that with the amount of blood gushing onto the newly cleaned carpets from Deidara nose, and the fact that they had to pay for their couch to be fixed, Kakuzu would be furious. But instead of snapping out of his endorphin-haze, he only threw his head back and laughed.
Loudly.
Pein and Zetsu blinked at the disturbing display and then slowly began to back away.
"Hidan," Zetsu hissed, trying not to gain Kakuzu's attention. "Go pick up Deidara and get out out before he attacks."
Hidan looked at him with wide eyes. "What?" he fiercely whispered, glancing from the crazy man to the groaning blonde on the ground. "Kakuzu will fucking maul me man. No way!"
Pein acquired a stern look even though he was quite fearful of the situation at hand. "Take care of this now!" he exclaimed in a hushed voice.
"Fuck no!"
"I tire of standing here," Kakuzu said, abruptly cutting off his laughs. He glanced from the petrified Pein, to the stock-still Zetsu, to the half-dead Deidara, and then to a certain silver-haired man. His eyes narrowed as if he were trying to concentrate. "Hidan..."
Hidan immediately back-pedaled, hands held defensively up in front of him. "No, no, no, no, no-"
Kakuzu lunged with a broad grin. "Tag you're it!" he yelled, clapping the younger man on the back.
Hidan crashed to the ground as if someone had brought a bulldozer down on the back of his head.
There were two bloody noses that night.
Thursday 3:21 PM
April 15th
"Guys...?" Kakuzu strained his neck from where he had, once again, been tied down to his bed. "Why won't you let me out?"
"Because you're a fuckin' psycho!" Hidan shouted from the other side of the door.
When Kakuzu woke that morning, he found his room empty and cold with the door locked. According to Pein's large letter tacked on the wall above the doorframe, he was to go through solitary confinement for the day due to the damage he caused to the living room and two fellow friends. "I don't want to be in here though," he found himself complaining. "Let me out."
"Fuck no! Just go to sleep or something!"
"I'm not tired Hidan," Kakuzu said, clad in his pajamas and night cap. After becoming a free spirit over the past few days, he discovered he liked not being cooped up so much. But it was also affecting his mental state and causing his hard-engrained habits and mannerisms to fade away.
He really didn't want that to happen.
"I don't care if you're tired or not. But no one's gonna fucking let you out!"
Kakuzu harrumphed loudly so that it could be heard and then slumped down, irritatingly closing his eyes. He fell alseep within the next few minutes, dreaming of beach-filled holidays and clear blue skies.
And it was the best damn sleep he had all day.
Friday 7:32 AM
April 16th
"Alright, I understand... Thanks for calling." Itachi hung the apartment's phone up and then headed back towards his room. It was early in the morning, and though he would have liked to catch just a few more winks, he had some business to attend.
That and Hidan and Deidara's complaining the entire night about sore noses kept both him and Kisame awake for a majority of the time.
He sighed and let his head hang a bit. Maybe he should invest in a pair of earplugs like Deidara.
Itachi entered their shared room tugging at the collar of his black dress shirt. He wore a pair of dark jeans with bright neon green socks. But no one would see what was beneath his shoes once he put them on. His hair was pulled back into a half ponytail, although it was considerably lower and thinner's than Deidara's. Speaking of the blonde...
He was lying on his side with one arm above his head and his other one across his stomach, mouth open and a thin trail of drool leaking from the corner. There was a stiff bandage across the top of his cartilage to make sure it didn't shift around too much in the kid's hazardous sleep. Itachi thought it was strange how the artist slept in bundles of clothes at night but never seemed to break a sweat.
It was odd.
Itachi walked over to the somewhat peacefully sleeping blonde and shook the shoulder closest to him a few times.
Deidara blearily opened his eyes, blinking up at the dark-haired man with a look on his face that said he clearly didn't know who he was and why he was being woken up by a stranger. He brought up a pair of fingers to wipe the sleep from the corner of his eyelids in slight aggravation. "Why...?"
Itachi inwardly rolled his eyes. "Get up Dei. The University called a few minutes ago to let all students know that classes will start up again today," he quietly said as to not wake Hidan or Kisame up. He really didn't feel like listening to their screams first thing in the morning. "You don't have to go in for another two hours though."
"What?" Deidara pushed himself to a sitting position, feeling alongside his dresser for his pair of glasses only to remember they had gotten smashed the day before in the dancing accident. He was about to make up an excuse as to why he couldn't attend school that day when a hand shoved a bottle of contacts and eyedrops in his direction. The blonde furrowed his brows in and then looked up at Itachi in question.
"I had them hidden away as a last resort," Itachi explained, stepping back. "If you're even thinking of going out in public, you'll need to be able to see. The last thing we need is for you to get hit by a bus again."
Deidara grinned, stumbling up out of bed to quickly embrace the older man. "You're a lifesaver un!"
Itachi pushed him away. "Don't get too used to my kindness," he muttered, turning to pack a shoulder bag full of notebooks and several CD's.
Deidara looked at him curiously. "Where are you going un?"
Itachi sighed. "I'm over here Dei," he said. "Stop talking to the wall. As for where I'm going, I have a meeting with someone who's interested in the video I made with Zetsu the other day."
"Really?" The blonde artist smiled at what he hoped was the Uchiha this time. But the smile quickly faded as a thought occured to him. "Does that mean Zetsu's coming with us when you drop me off?" he asked.
Itachi looked at the nineteen year old with a raised brow. "Yes. Why- do you have something against him all of a sudden?" he questioned.
"It's not that un..." Deidara grumbled, running a hand through the knotted fringe over his left eye. "I have to sit in the backseat then. And I feel left out..."
Itachi smiled a bit. "Then sit on Zetsu's lap."
Deidara glared at him. "Very funny."
"I thought it was."
"Hey...guess we're all going out today then huh?" Kisame's voice drifted over to them from where he had propped himself up on the side, watching their conversation with slight interest. Though his mussed hair and clouded eyes showed that he was still halfway asleep.
Itachi looked at him with a curious expression. "What do you mean?"
"Work just paged me," Kisame mumbled, his eyes falling shut. "I have to go in about an hour for the morning shift. Skies will be cloudy with a partial chance of rain. But the showers will be light and quick," he muttered after casting a lazy glance out their bedroom window.
"Stupid fucking social services!"
Deidara sarcastically rolled his eyes. "Guess who's up hmm?"
"Shut up," Hidan snapped, rolling out of his bed and onto the floor with a thump. Like Deidara, he had a bandage across the expanse of his nose. But it was uncomfortable and made him want to scratch his nose off. He momentarily contemplated lying there for the rest of the day but forced himself to get up and find some clothes suitable for raining weather. Social services said they would give everyone who showed up a party basket for dedication, and there was no way he was missing out on that!
"Well whatever un," Deidara scoffed. He turned on his heel to leave the room- walking straight into their closet.
The three men in the room sighed at the blonde and then went to get ready for their respective tasks for that day.
And then they heard gleeful screaming from the room across the hall.
Hidan paused in the action of yanking his shirt over his head. "Was that fucking Kakuzu? Oh please tell me he's not going on a fucking rampage again," he said in a horrified voice.
"If that's the case then I'm staying in here," Kisame said, pulling his covers back over him.
Itachi resisted the urge to call them morons and walked out into the hallway to see what was going on.
He greeted by the sight of a fully dressed Kakuzu fixing a tie around his neck as he walked towards the kitchen, a cellphone in his hand which was brought up to his ear in conversation. "Yes. I can be there in about thirty minutes... That's not a problem. However- could you please have the client re-fax their case over? I...lost mine in a tragic accident," he said, hanging his head at the thought.
Itachi stared at his retreating back. "A tragic accident named Sasori," he dryly stated aloud.
"Oh- you're going somewhere too?" a curious voice asked.
Itachi looked at the short-haired brunette in front of him. "That would be correct. What are you wearing?"
Madara looked down at himself with an approving grin. "I stole Konan's underwear from her laundry basket. Doesn't this look great on me?" he excitedly inquired.
Unable to tell if the man was being serious or not dressed in a pair of panties and bra, Itachi merely turned away and headed for the kitchen. "Wear what you want Madara. I'm not going to stop you..."
Madara's laughter followed him down the hall.
~X~
Inside the kitchen, Kakuzu was prepping a cup of tea. He would never admit it out loud, but he had kind of been looking forward to another day off from work. Oh well. That's what the weekends were for right?
Although sometimes he didn't even get those off...
He looked over his shoulder from where he stood at the counter, noticing how nicely dressed Itachi was. "Going somewhere?"
"Hopefully on my way out of the cubicles I work in," Itachi said with a sigh, pulling a chair out from the table to take a seat. "I assume you're heading back to work as well?"
"Yeah..." Kakuzu stared into his tea, looking at the bag floating listlessly inside.
"At least sound a bit more happy," Sasori said as he walked into the room. "You were so excited when you first got the call." He was dressed very casually, having no intention of leaving the apartment that day either. Shorts and a t-shirt. There was no need for anything fancy.
"Hmph. That was before I remembered I had no paperwork to turn in," Kakuzu grumbled.
Sasori smirked and sat beside Itachi, kicking his feet up onto the table. "Well here's your chance to redo it all old man."
Kakuzu felt a blood vessel in his neck burst. "Who the hell is an old man?"
"Quit provoking people Sasori," Pein tiredly said, wandering in the kitchen doorway with Zetsu at his side. They both wore identical white work shirts and nice pants, only Zetsu was fixing a ridiculously long tie around his neck.
"You don't need to wear a tie," Itachi cautiously said as both men took a seat across from him at the table.
"I know," Zetsu said in a helpless tone. "But they kind of grew on me."
"You only wore it once," Itachi deadpanned.
Zetsu ignored him in favor of looping the thin piece of cloth incorrectly through one end and out the other.
No one bothered to comment.
"Well doesn't everyone here look fucking happy," Hidan snidely said as he sauntered into the semi-crowded room. He wore a giant blue poncho over dark jeans and a green t-shirt, white socks with holes in them on his feet. His feet which he kicked up onto the table after sitting next to Itachi. "Looks like things are back to normal then."
"Define normal," Zetsu mumbled.
Sasori smirked. "Not us," he answered.
"And why are you wearing a poncho inside?" Itachi inquired with a raised brow.
Hidan glanced sideways at him, his cheery face taking on a somber expression almost immediately. "We're working in the goddamn sewers today, and I don't want any type of shit falling into my hair."
"Ah yes," Kakuzu said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "Your precious hair." He wandered to the table where the others were gathered, feeling slightly left out as they conversed amongst themselves.
"Shut the hell up," Hidan grumbled, crossing his arms over his broad chest. The poncho he wore crinkled slightly as he moved. "I'd like to see you step out of your fuckin' pristine office and get your ass out in the mud for a bit."
"If you don't like it so much, then why bother going?" Kakuzu muttered, taking a sip of his now lukewarm beverage as he sat beside Pein.
"That's because he gets little goodie baskets," Sasori teasingly said.
"Shut up Sasori!" Hidan shouted.
"Feet off the table," Konan commanded as she walked in a moment later, her face darkened and eyes gleaming. Her dark blue hair was sticking out at the sides despite her attempts to comb and straighten it down, lipstick wandering off the corner of her lips in a scary and unintentional clown smile, smudges of eyeshadow on her forehead. Even her clothes looked rumpled. The business jacket and skirt she wore unbelievably crooked. But she either didn't care or woke up on the wrong side of the bed with somone's foot in her back.
Pein's foot to be exact.
Hidan scoffed, apparently taking no heed of this baffling appearance of the normal composed woman. "I don't need to take my fuckin' feet down. Sasori has his up too-"
Konan slammed a hand down on the table, a twitching smile spreading across her face. "Take. Them. Off," she politely said, although the grinding of her teeth completely contradicted that.
Hidan quickly did as ordered, wanting to keep his limbs in the right places for the time being.
Konan harrumped, stalking over to the fridge and throwing it open to scrounge around for any type of food that wasn't goddamn humus and rice crackers.
"Scary-ass motherfucker," Hidan whispered to Itachi.
Konan whipped around, chucking a stale carton of milk at the younger man. "I heard that!" she roared.
"Whoa bitch!" Hidan exclaimed as the milk exploded all over him.
Itachi scooted his chair away with a heavy sigh.
"Good thing you're wearing a poncho," Sasori sniggered aloud.
"SHUT UP!"
"Why is everyone shouting?" Kisame mumbled as he entered the kitchen with Madara a few feet behind him. He was now in a freshly ironed work shirt with a dark purple tie around his neck professionally and dark slacks on his legs. He paused in his step to look at Hidan oddly before shaking his head and beginning to mumble under his breath to himself.
Madara was still in a certain blue-haired woman's underwear, whistling happily with his thumbs in the elastic waistband. He looked like he was about to go on a jolly good picnic.
Konan slowly blinked at the brunette. "Are those...?"
Madara looked at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said.
Konan might have shouted a few select words at him, but her throat was already parched from her tirade at Hidan. So she merely took up a position by Zetsu and watched as Madara and Kisame sat on the other side of the rectangular table next to Sasori. "We have nothing to eat for breakfast again," she gruffly said.
"We have leftover cake," Pein told her, trying to lift her spirits.
Konan visibly brightened, sitting up straighter in her chair. "We do?" she eagerly asked.
"Not anymore," Sasori laughingly said. "I saw Kisame and Itachi stuffing their faces with the last pieces yesterday night."
Konan's brow quirked, the two aforementioned men occupying themselves with staring at various spots of the kitchen.
A sudden chill fell over the room as their youngest housemate stormed into the kitchen, both his eyes visible and hair pushed back behind his ears in a very high ponytail. He was dressed surprisingly nice for school, his best pair of black jeans on and a red button-down dress shirt. Although the collar was popped.
"Oho?" Zetsu lifted both of his eyebrows at the blonde artist as he stalked over to the table and plopped heavily next to Hidan. "What's got you in a bad mood?"
Deidara gave him a nasty look even though his anger wasn't directed at him. "The University called my cell a few minutes ago and told me that all the college freshmen had to give a speech to the upperclassmen today."
Sasori cast his best friend a semi-curious look. "Speech on what?"
"Hell if I know un. Man," Deidara leaned away from the table, throwing his neck back to look at the cracked ceiling. "I was getting so used to all this free time too un. And who the hell has to give a speech to their class on the first day back? That's ridiculous!"
"That's life," Kakuzu wisely said.
Deidara grumbled something unintelligible.
"So?" Sasori propped his chin with the back of a hand in question, looking imploringly at Kakuzu. "You can't tell me this break wasn't nice. Having a few days off was fun, wasn't it?"
Kakuzu sighed, setting down his now empty mug in front of him. "I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy myself. It was nice to think about something other than my clients' problems or having to worry about turning in a file on time." He looked at his fellow friends with the tiniest expression of gratitude on his face. "So thanks. Even if you did ruin half my life's work and savings in your attempt to help me."
"Good to hear," Sasori said with a pleasant smile. He looked at Pein as if to say 'I told you so!'.
Pein lifted his eyes to the ceiling in a 'whatever' gesture as a momentarily peaceful silence fell over them.
"..."
"..."
Someone's stomach growled.
"..."
Hidan banged his head on the table, not caring whether there was going to be a huge welt there or not when he looked back up. "Someone fucking talk already!"
"Oh no!" Kakuzu suddenly shouted, looking at the watch on his wrist with wide eyes. "Talking with you guys has made me lose track of time! I'm going to be late at this point!" He stood and tossed his cup into the sink carelessly, not even bothering to comment on how it shattered as it went in.
Kisame blinked. "Kakuzu...you just broke one of your most expensive mugs..."
"BITE ME!" Kakuzu roared before booking it out the room.
They listened to the front door slam shut and then exchanged apprehensive glances with one another.
"I just feel sorry for the people on the street," Madara said with a light shrug.
"You know..." Zetsu musingly started to say. "I never realized how scary Kakuzu is until after seeing him smile so much these past few days. Maybe we should have just cut him off from work completely and lived with a psychotically happy man?"
Everyone deadpanned. "No way..."
"That's even worse," Hidan muttered.
Sasori clapped his hands together, surveying his fellow housemates with amusement. "Well! I suppose all of you should head out for your own jobs now," he cheerfully said.
"But we don't feel like moving at all," the group mumbled in defeat.
Sasori grinned. "That makes nine of us."
A/N: Dear Lord Sasori's turned them all into lazy bums!
Kidding :P
I was surprised by how long this ended up being. I thought for sure it wouldn't go on this much but...oh well -_-u
Maybe another one will come out. Who knows...