Hellooo! This is going to be a one shot, with a little angsty.
The song "I Want To Write You A Song" By One Direction will be mentioned a lot.
I hope you like it!
-x-
One year. Twelve months. Fifty-two weeks. Three hundred sixty-five days. Eight thousand, seven hundred sixty hours. Five hundred twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. Thirty-one million, five hundred thirty-six thousand seconds.
That's how long it's been since Beca Mitchell died in a car wreck. May twenty-first was not a day Chloe Beale, Stacie Conrad, Aubrey Posen or anybody who knew Beca Mitchell looked forward to. If you were to ask Beca, she didn't have many friends, except for her friends from her college acapella group but so many people cared about her whether she knew it or not. Sure, she came across as sarcastic, stand offish, and she was most definitely one of those people who would've rather heard what was coming out of her headphones than what was coming out of you. But under all of that, she was one of the best friends you could have, she had ambition and would fight for what she wanted.
She died at the young age of twenty-three. There was still so much of the world she wanted to see, so many things she wanted to say but hadn't.
On May twenty-first, she had been driving to get ice cream and soda for the Bella's sleepover they were having, they were having bonding time, Aubrey had showed up by surprise and bonded as well.
"So does anybody want to go get some goodies before the movies we're about to watch?" Stacie asked, raising her eyebrows, looking around the room.
"Not it!" Jessica and Ashley yelled at the same time, they had always been the ones to retrieve the food.
"Nose goes!" Amy yelled and put her finger on her nose and looked around as the rest of the girls began to mimic her action.
Beca rolled her eyes, "I'll go, you lazy heifers." She scoffed, and began laughing at how childish they were all acting. She got up out of her spot between Emily and Chloe on the couch and slipped her shoes on, then began walking towards the door.
Chloe perked up, "I'll go with you." Chloe got up and began walking towards Beca when the brunette stopped her.
"No, you can stay here and have fun with the girls. I'll only be gone for two minutes." Beca winked at her, "Unless you can't handle two minutes without me?" Beca raised her eyebrows and sported the biggest grin Chloe had ever seen.
"Fine I was going to cuddle with Emily anyway." Chloe marched off to sit beside Emily and crossed her arms like a little kid who had just been told they can't have that piece of candy. Beca shook her head, laughing.
"I'll be back in a few, don't have too much fun without me." Beca looked around the room.
"Be careful!" All of the girls said in unison.
Beca was at a red light, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the music. The light turned green and she drove slowly, she turned her head when she heard a loud horn and bright lights.
Her car flipped three times before landing on sideways on the drivers side. Beca was wearing her seatbelt, so she didn't go flying around the car, but she had been knocked out by the hit. She had a big piece of glass stuck in her right thigh and a deep cut on her forearm. There were more scrapes on her than anybody could count.
Soon there was an ambulance, and loads of people trying to get her out of the car. After about ten minutes of trying to pry the door open, they got her out and she was in awful shape.
Chloe was driving to the store with Stacie in the passenger seat, since Beca hadn't been picking up the phone and she had been gone for over thirty minutes they decided to try to find her. They were approaching the scene and they saw the small black car that was so badly damaged and they both didn't know what to think.
Chloe pulled over to the side of the car and sprinted to the scene, with Stacie in tow.
"Excuse me ma'am, I need you to get back in your car." The police officer stopped Chloe.
"No! That's my best friend! She's.. She's," Chloe broke down and lost all the feeling in her legs, she dropped to the ground and began sobbing. Stacie moved to the ground with her and held the girl in her arms and she too began crying.
"I'm sorry.. You know her?" The police officer asked, genuinely concerned. Chloe just looked up and nodded. "I'm sorry, but the medics announced her dead at the scene. I'm sorry for your loss."
Chloe's breath hitched and she went limp. Stacie held Chloe even tighter, "Chloe. Chloe look at me!" Stacie was yelling in between sobs, Chloe looked at her with no emotion.
"She's gone." Chloe looked at the scene, "I never got to tell her how I felt..I love her. I was almost certain she loved me back, but now I'll never get to tell her. She's gone." Her cry sounded more like a scream and Stacie couldn't handle it and they laid in the road and cried together.
"It's my fault." Stacie whispered after she had stopped crying. "I was the one who wanted snacks. I should've been the one to go.." Stacie was staring into space and Chloe shook her head.
"No, no, no, no. Do not blame yourself! This wasn't anybody's fault, it was an accident." Chloe stood up and walked away, and sat in her car. She began banging on her steering wheel. "God dammit! She's dead, and you never got to tell her how you felt!" She was yelling at herself now and Stacie got in the car and held both of her hands.
"I think we should go back and tell the girls, so they don't worry." Stacie's eyes were red and puffy, as were Chloe's.
"Okay."
-x-
Chloe is driving down the very street Beca had her wreck at, she hasn't drove on this road since the wreck. She reached the red light and pulled over to the side of the road.
She hasn't been the same since that night one year ago. She had overheard Aubrey talking to Stacie about how worried she was for Chloe. Aubrey had even suggested going to counseling but Chloe just shook her off and said she was fine.
Chloe was far from fine and Aubrey knew that.
Chloe's thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing, Emily's face was on her screen.
"Hello?"
"Hey Chloe! Um.. Are you at your house?"
"No.. Why?" Chloe knitted her eyebrows.
"I have something to give you." Emily sounded determined and focused.
"Okay, do I need to get home now or can it wait?"
"No, I need to give this to you now."
"Okay, I'm heading home now. Bye."
Chloe was happy about having Emily's company, she's afraid if she's by herself for too long she'll do something she'll regret.
The song Titanium came on the radio and Chloe lost her breath. She stopped the car, she didn't care if the other cars were beeping their horns at her. She hasn't heard this song in what feels like years. She thinks of the day she invaded Beca's shower and they shared their first duet. That was the day she realized she was going to learn more about Beca and break down her walls. Luckily, she succeeded.
She didn't realize she was crying until someone tapped her window and pulled her out of her thoughts. She rolled down her window and wiped her tears.
"Are you okay? You're crying.." An elderly man with glasses stood at her window, giving her a sympathetic look, she smiled at him.
"Yes sir, just having a rough day that's all." He smiled and nodded, then walked away.
She missed Beca more than anything. Although it seemed as if Beca was everywhere she went. Everything seemed to remind her of Beca in some way or another. She'd get into a sad mood and lock herself in her room whenever she'd think about Beca.
She missed the way Beca would laugh at one of her stupid jokes or the way Beca would roll her eyes when Chloe would call her cute or adorable. She missed their sleepovers when Beca would pretend she hated cuddling, but Chloe knew she loved every second of it. She missed seeing Beca mix and she missed seeing Beca's eyes light up whenever someone would mention anything music related.
She made it home, she's not really sure how since her thoughts had been on Beca and not on the road.
She walked in her house and found Emily sitting at her kitchen table, she nearly jumped out her pants when she saw Emily. "Damn Em, you can't just scare me like that."
Emily just giggled slightly, before getting serious again.
"I have this." She put a CD on the table. "Don't ask any questions yet, just listen. I'll answer all of your questions after you listen."
Chloe nodded, not really sure what was happening. She watched Emily put the CD inside the computer and start up the CD. Emily looked back up at Chloe and smiled sympathetically. Chloe sure was tired of all the sympathetic looks, it was like everyone knew something she didn't.
"Hey Chlo, its me."
Chloe's heart stopped at Beca's voice. Her eyes went wide, she couldn't believe it. She opened her mouth to say something but Emily put her hand up, indicating she needed to stop.
"You know I'm not good with feelings and shit, so I wrote you a song. Everything I want to say is in the song. I hope you like it Chloe."
Chloe had a lump in her throat, but she swallowed it back not wanting to cry anymore.
A soft acoustic melody started playing, and Beca's strong voice came through.
I want to write you a song
One as beautiful as you are sweet
With just a hint of pain
For the feeling that I get when you are gone
I want to write you a song
I want to lend you my coat
One that's as soft as your cheek
So when the world is cold
You'll have a hiding place you can go
I want to lend you my coat
Chloe was already crying like a baby, but she was trying to be quiet so she could hear the song.
Oooh, everything I need I get from you
Oooh, giving back is all I want to do
I want to build you a boat
One as strong as you are free
So anytime you think your heart is gonna sink
You know it won't
I want to build you a boat
Oooh, everything I need I get from you
Oooh, giving back is all I want to do
A long instrumental starts playing and Chloe is having so many emotions. So many questions. When did Beca make this? How did Emily get this? Why didn't Chloe know about this?
Oooh, everything I need I get from you
Chloe forgot how strong Beca's voice was. Chloe forgot how much she missed it.
Oooh, giving back is all I want to do
I want to write you a song
One to make you remember me
So any time I'm gone, you can listen to my voice and sing along
At that verse Chloe sobbed, she cried harder than ever. She missed Beca more than ever.
I want to write you a song
I want to write you a song
And with that the song was over and Chloe was an uncontrollable mess. Emily figured she needed to let Chloe calm down before she pressed play again.
Chloe quieted down and Emily pressed play.
Well, there's my sappy love song for you. I hope you're happy red. I love more than you know Chloe Beale.
Chloe's eyes lit up and Emily smiled.
"Okay, let me explain." Emily took a deep breath, "Beca asked me in the beginning of two thousand sixteen if I would help her write a song. So of course I said yes. We were in the studio and I finally asked her who we were writing this for because she was pouring her heart out in this song and she would just smile at me like an idiot." Chloe laughed, it was her first real laugh in a year and man did it feel good. "One day she finally said it was for you. She told me how she had feelings for you and how she couldn't think straight when you were around, she told me she thought she was in love with you. She said she couldn't hold her feelings back much longer so she was going to give you this on your birthday. We had finished the song late April and she was so excited she could barely wait." Emily smiled at the memory, "She loved you, she really did…I know you loved her too. You wouldn't be this much of a mess if you didn't. One day I hope I can love someone as much as you two loved each other." Chloe had a single tear running down her cheek, but it wasn't a sad tear, it was a happy tear. "I hoping this will give you closure on Beca. I really do. I hope the bubbly, happy and outgoing Chloe comes out of her shell, because I sure do miss that Chloe."
Chloe smiled and pulled the younger girl in for a hug, they sat there for a while, both sniffling in each others shoulders, "Thank you Emily." Chloe could feel the younger girl smile in her shoulder.
"What do you say we have a sleep over? It's been awhile since we've had one," Chloe smiled, "All the girls can come and we can dedicate the night to Beca." Emily's eyes lit up
"Yes! I'll call the girls!" and with that Emily ran to get her phone and Chloe smiled to herself.
Because Beca Mitchell did in fact love her.