Crescendo.

I don't own anything in this story. Not even the plot. It came from a Doujin. But well, the Doujin's in jap, and my Japanese isn't that good… So I'll just be making it up as I go along. And I'll be tweaking it a bit, so I guess the plot COULD be considered mine after all. Just kidding.

Sexual scenes would not be too explicit. But I'll still rate it 'M' to be on the safe side.

The story is pretty much in Riza's Point of view. A Third person's view would be hard. Well, at least in my opinion.

I'll pretty much be following the past of Roy and Riza according to the manga. But I won't be completely accurate.

Forgive me if my language isn't exactly perfect in grammar. I'm getting a lot of Green lines here in Microsoft Word. Hehh.

There will be a few words in Japanese. I don't know. I just felt that they carry more weight in the situation rather than the meanings of them in English.

Then again… It's may just be me.

"Speech"

Thought

Narration

- - - - - -

Six years ago, the Ishbal Civil War started. I was called in as a sniper after my first year at the academy.

There were several of us new recruits. We had all just received the notice a week prior from our superiors. We were called in to help even out the odds, to help keep the "Weapons" alive. "Weapons", that's what they called the State alchemists. What ever happened to "helping out the public"? Whatever matters, Orders and Orders.

Ishbal was a barren wasteland. That's pretty much it. It's nothing but the dirt under our feet. Dust, sand, ruined buildings, and dead corpses. We entered the Ishbal camp, covered in dirt and grime.

That's where I met him. Dark hair, sharp eyes behind glasses, and he always wore a smile, in this hellhole I heard a hearty laugh. Naturally, I turned to the source of it and found his eyes catching mine, eyes full of hope and mirth.

I couldn't help but smile back.

Maybe, there was hope in this hellhole after all.

- - - - - - -

We are soldiers; we know the risks we take on the job. But never have I thought that this would ever happen.

I now stand in front of the grave of the very man who changed my life. Who gave me a purpose to live on after going through hell, who helped us through our darkest of times.

I now stand in front of the grave of Maes Hughes. The man whom we both owe our lives to.

In front of me now is my superior, Roy Mustang. The man whom I swore to protect, even at the price of my life.

We were introduced to each other by Maes during the war. Though we already knew each other before then, a long time before.

He was my father's student, and he stayed at my house in the time he was learning. We met then, I was only 15, he was a young man of twenty. It's been nine years since. He is a Colonel now, and me a First Lieutenant.

We need each other. Me to keep him in line, him to keep my life full of fire.

And it's also much more than that. I'm his pillar, his back-up plan, confidant, and best friend.

If you looked at him now, you would never think for one second that this is the hero of the Ishbal war.

No longer is he the famed cocky arrogant (and if you forgive my language) bastard who would slack off at any chance he gets to procrastinate his paperwork.

No. In front of me now sits a broken man. The same one I saw six years ago when we first met again in three years. Back then, we had Maes and me to pull him back from the brink of death. Now with Maes gone, I am all he's got left. And this time, pulling him back would not be so easy. Back then, his eyes were killer's eyes, mine too. Devoid of emotion, dead eyes like that of a machine's.

But now…

His eyes are devoid of fire, of life that used to burn intensely within them. Irony, the flame alchemist lost his fire. I would laugh were the circumstances not so dire.

- - - - - -

He stares blankly at the floor. He doesn't see me, but he acknowledges my presence. He looks as though he is deep in thought. But I know better. But we keep up the façade anyway

"At 0700 hours tomorrow morning, you are to report to General Grumman with regards to the case surrounding Brigadier General Hughes….Death. "

"… I understand…"

"You are required to hand in a report about your findings at the scene of the crime, the paperwork will be given to you tomorrow. Said report is to be returned before 1500 hours. Details of your findings are to be included."

"… I know…"

"Internal affairs have been issued a warning to close all investigations with regards to the case. All military personnel are hence forth restricted to look any further into the matter."

"… I understand…"

I knew it. I let out a sigh.

"Colonel…"

"…"

He shrugs off his uniform jacket and replaces himself on the edge of his bed. His eyes now stare blankly ahead, he stares through me. Hands Clenched tightly within each other as though he were praying to a god that didn't exist.

"…"

"… I could have prevented this Lieutenant! I could have! He had a family at home waiting for him, a wife, a daughter…"

"Colonel…"

"… It should've been me, not him. I'm alone, a murderer, a Monster. I would have deserved it. After all the lives I took in Ishbal."

"DAMN IT COLONEL! You were under orders! You had NO CHOICE! You didn't want to kill. I saw it. I saw you were unlike the rest! That's why I gave you my secrets. I trusted my back to you!"

"…"

"… I give up. I'm leaving. Goodbye Colonel. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait!"

As I turned my back and headed towards the door, I felt a grip on my wrist and someone pulling me back. Hard. I slammed into his chest. He was hugging me, hugging me as though his life depending on it. As though he would die if he let go and I was his only lifeline. I felt his pain in that embrace, as though my heart would shatter at the intensity of his emotions. Raw Emotions.

Need.

Desperation.

Guilt.

Loss.

Desire.

Fear.

I gave him the only comfort I could provide. I returned the embrace.

"… I'm sorry…"

"… Riza…"

My eyes widened in shock. He has never called me by name. Never.

This is not a machine, nor a weapon. This is a human being. Who has been broken almost to the point of no return.

"… Stay with me…"

Almost.

I can't leave him alone. I just can't. Not like this.

"… Yes…"

Two broken people do not make a whole.

- - - - - -

I'm in his apartment, his room. I'm on his lap. My uniform's skirt hiked up. Our lips joined. Meshed together. Our tongues fighting a battle with each other. He reaches for the clip. My hair comes undone.

There is no gentleness. No patience. No love. No sincerity.

This is our pain speaking. The intensity of raw emotions.

Guilt. Desperation. Lust. Desire.

Heated kisses.

Quick breaths.

Soft moans.

It's wrong. We know it. It's against the rules. Anti-Fraternization.

But we want it. Need it. The forbidden fruit always tastes so much sweeter.

We're heading towards the point of no return.

And this time, we're not going to deny ourselves.

- - - - - -

I feel his hands move to my back.

Colonel…?

They unzip my skirt

What?

They move down and slide up my thigh

C-Colonel?

Pulls on the string that holds my underwear to me

Colonel what are you Doing?!

And pulls them down.

I feel something rub against me.

Wait. His pants. They're….

"Hey! NO! Wait!"

I expected it. I known what would happen. But not like this!

"Wait a minute! Colo-"

I feel his fingers stretching me.

Then…

Pain…

Sharp stabbing pain….

"Pain… It h-hurts…" I managed to gasp out

My breaths are ragged. Tears are forced to my eyes. It hurts so much. But I held them back. I must not let him see them.

"Tai…sa…"

I'm quivering in pain, he knows it. He doesn't stop.

I raise one shaky hand and dug it into his shoulder.

He thrusts himself all the way to the base.

"Nnnngh…."

It's no use. The tears are forced out of my eyes. So much pain, It feels as though he is ripping me apart.

The room is cold, but we're soaked in perspiration. We can feel the heat of each other's breath. Our faces are dyed red, not from embarrassment. He sees my tears. And raises one hand to wipe them. Then hugs me tightly.

"Sumanai"

Pain, guilt, they are evident in his voice.

"…… You swore to protect me with your life. After all that's happened. What I'm doing to you now, will you stay by my side. Will you still protect this monster of a man."

Words would not come out of my mouth. So I answered in the only way I could, given our circumstances. I turned my head to face him.

I kissed him. Hard.

- - - - -

My jacket and the shirt I wore inside are now unbuttoned on my frame. His hands wander over my skin, and they pull down my bra.

"… Taisa"

He pinches at them. My breaths are now more ragged. He pushes apart my uniform jacket and the blouse I wore underneath. Now he has them free, and at his mercy.

He licks, bites, and suckles at them, as though he were teasing me.

His hand wanders down, they touch me in forbidden regions. I could feel something building up within me.

The temperature rises a bit more. I scream.

We are both panting. His hands grip the back of my neck. I catch my breath enough to speak one word.

"……Taisa?"

"It's not possible… How can you…?"

And we both know who he's talking about.

"You promised me you'd always stay below me and push me to the top! You Promised! How can you do that now? Now that you've succeeded me in rank. HOW?! How can you do this?!"

Brigadier General Hughes. Promoted after death for dying in the line of duty. What a joke to his memory!

I can feel him shifting to stand up. Then forcing his weight down on me. We collapse onto the bed, him on top of me. My legs are upon his shoulder, due to the force and suddenness of the action.

He starts to move. He is still in me. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before. But it still hurts.

Because… This isn't gentle lovemaking.

This is desperation for release. There is no love in sex. Because that is all it is, release. All it takes are two consenting parties.

He isn't slow and gentle. He is rough. He is pounding himself into me mercilessly.

… And he doesn't care.

He doesn't care that I can't match his thrusts. Or that I'm in pain. He wants me to feel that pain. He wants me to know the pain he is feeling.

Physical pain. Emotional pain. It feels as though the intensity of it could suffocate you. It feels like it is clawing at your heart.

He looms above me. The sight of his face breaks my heart. I struggle to form coherent sentences.

"Ta-Taisa… I…

… Never think of death as an escape… Do you understand?

… You are not alone."

"I… I owe him my life. He… He gave me a reason. "

I raise an arm to wrap around him. He returns it.

"He promised to always be there!"

"He… P-promised… He said h-he'd always be t-there…"

His voice started breaking, and it pains me to hear it.

Maes Hughes. His smile always ensured us that there is such a thing as hope in this world.

He was always there to help us out. Always there ready to give us his support no matter how treasonous the ideas were.

He reunited me again with the man I loved.

"H-Hughes, he was a great man." I choked out.

"He brought you to me, he gave me hope. I first met him when I was just entering camp. I saw h-his smile, and I knew that perhaps I would be able to find what I was looking for. And I did."

"I remember in the years after, when he would come by to the office for a visit. At times when you were not there, he would share with me stories of the escapades you and him had in the academy. How you guys met, how you always go looking for trouble, and how you've always been thinking back to the times when you were a student at Father's house, my house. And of course, his 'Darling Elicia.' His habits never changed, still shoving pictures into people's faces."

"Heh heh. R-really…?"

"Heh. Y-yeah."

He started moving faster. I feel something building up rapidly. I have had no prior experience to this, but I knew from books that we were reaching the end. Soon.

There wasn't much talking afterwards. It was a lot warmer now. And perspiration was dripping off his forehead onto my body. The only sounds that now filled the room were hasty pants, moans, grunts, and the sound of two bodies coming together.

I feel a wave of something wash over me. I screamed. I could feel him thrusting all the way in. I knew he was releasing himself too.

We were done. He was done. The barrier had broken. He let himself out.

And for the first time since the funeral, He broke down. And cried, and cried… and cried. And this time, he never tried to hold back.

- - - - - -

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes! What brings you to the office at this time of the day? Colonel Mustang is currently out."

"Ahh, just a quick visit. Thought I'd drop by to check out how you guys are doing."

".." I kept my silence

"How time flies huh, Riza? How long has it been since we first met? You were just a Private then. And now look at you! Already a Lieutenant"

"... I guess…"

"… Look I didn't come here to talk about that. Lately the higher ups have been covering up a lot of incidents going down in Central. Even the Cause of the Ishbal war all those years ago is a taboo. Remember that we promised to help Roy get to the top. His aim to become Fuhrer to change the world. Know that the higher ups are jealous of Roy reaching such a rank at a young age. They would be planning on erasing him soon to get him out of the picture. Also know that Roy's suspicion of the Fuhrer is not unfounded. If the higher ups find out about this. Roy will be set to be put in his place. And that would mean that they will try to get to US to get through to HIM."

"… I Understand…"

"For Roy, I wouldn't mind dying for his cause. I promised that I'll be there to help him. But should anything happen to me, you MUST be there to continue to push his way to the top. And please for his and my sake, don't get into any sort of harm should it come to that."

"… Lieutenant Colonel… Please…"

"I'm being serious here Riza. Should I die, you must be there to continue my job and push him to the top. My death will break him, yes, but only for the moment. He must not forget his cause.

… However do not come to harm. My death would break him. But your death would KILL Him."

"Lieutenant Colonel, Please do not speak of… Death… So lightly."

"… We knew the risks when we took up this job Riza. But please do not die… For his sake, and mine. Even if I'm still alive then, he wouldn't be able to move on should anything happen to you. You mean the World to him, Riza. He just doesn't know how to show it."

"…"

"… Maybe the guy's finally took my advice about finding himself a wife! Hahahaha"

I Sighed.

His laughter rang loud in the room.

How can he laugh so heartily, after seeing what would make even a grown man shudder at the thought of it? How is it that one man in his position can act as though he was without a care in the world when the job he takes on places him in the line of enemy fire everyday? Sometimes, I wonder…

Even I cannot escape the nightmares the War has brought me. And yet he can smile in the face of death.

He is a man, one would greatly respect.

- - - - - -

I'm standing in front of the window. Pulling apart the curtains that covered it during the night. Glancing out at the view of the city's sunrise.

My thoughts overwhelm me. Feelings from the day before washes over me. Last night, after Roy had let everything out, the things we did went on. We had both needed that time to let everything out. Our anguish, our pain, our despair. We fell asleep late that night. I took some time to think things through.

I was still sore from the night before. But the aching in my chest is now greater.

Last night, won't happen again. Not until he gets to the top. At least, not until he changes the world for the better.

Was last night a taste of what could come when he reaches his goal? To be honest, I don't know.

Things between us won't change. It CAN'T change. This night won't change a thing. I've dealt with this last night. I can't break now!

We will go to work and he'll be my superior, and I his Lieutenant. Nothing between us will change. We will remain professional and not let our feelings interfere with our work. He will procrastinate on his paperwork and I will be there to threaten him with my gun. Nothing will change between us.

Nothing will change between us. But, oh how I wish it would!

I love him. I have since he was a student at Father's house.

What happened yesterday was on Impulse, but we know we both wanted it so badly. I knew I wanted it.

Which was why I had no qualms about him taking me like that. It hurt. It had hurt so much. But I wanted it. I allowed it. And I had no regrets.

He is the only person I would allow to use me like that. The only man I love.

I sighed. Locking away my thoughts of yesterday into the deep recesses of my mind.

I turned around and started walking towards the bed.

That peaceful face he has in his sleep. The sun peeks up above the buildings and shines upon him.

I sit on the edge of the bed and place my hands on the mattress near where is head lay.

He rouses from his slumber. Eyes cloudy and unfocused from being awakened all too abruptly.

"… You're leaving…?" A deep husky voice rang out.

I looked down and realize his eyes are looking at me. An all too familiar feeling washes over me.

"…Yes."

His hand reaches out from under the blanket, as though he were searching for something to hold on to on the bed. His eyes cleared, his gaze softened. He looks as though he is sorry for last night.

I reach out my hand and entwine my fingers with his. I hold onto his hand a little tighter and give it a small squeeze reassuring him that it was okay.

We communicated without words for that moment, our gestures said it all.

- - - - - -

Last night was a promise.

A promise that no matter what may come our way, we will get through them together. I will be there to push him to the top.

And when we reach the top, we'll go on from there.

And maybe Roy might finally take Hughes advice and get a wife.

A/N: Well, We've reached the End. Hope you enjoyed it. THANK YOU to my Absolutely WONDERFUL BETA as you all know her on - OTP!!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!