Disclaimer: Don't own 'nuff said.
A/N: I wanted to try something different. Something a little bit more depressing because… uh, well, frankly I'm way too happy for my own good anyway. I just wondered "what if" you know, after everything happened: Sasuke comes back and all. What would he come back to? And I didn't want it to be something totally obvious. So here, doing something totally out of character for me. Hope you enjoy.
"I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called
But someone had to be the first to break"
Sasuke stared at the house in front of him. There was nothing particularly extraordinary about it. It looked like all the other houses surrounding it. Same white picket fence and medium sized front yard. The same warm-looking flowers lovingly planted alongside the front porch.
Nothing special.
Except… this was where she lived.
The girl who'd loved him.
The girl he'd secretly pined for and loved back a hundred-fold.
He felt silly standing in front of her house.
Sasuke would've taken his car, but he wanted to walk there.
Thinking that by the time he got to his destination, he would've collected his thoughts and vanquished his fears.
He was wrong.
Now he felt stupid and regretted coming here.
Regretted calling before he came.
Now if he didn't go knock, he would look like a coward.
He glanced around the neighborhood and noticed that one of the neighbors was peeking out of her window to look at him.
Finally mustering the courage, he walked slowly and purposefully toward the white door.
He raised his hand to knock, but hesitated.
Shaking his head, he knocked once, loudly.
He panicked.
Shouldn't have done that.
He turned to walk away.
Sasuke only got to the bottom of the driveway when the door opened.
"Sasuke?"
He froze at the soft voice calling his name, closing his eyes, trying to remember how her voice sounded calling his name.
This is what heaven sounds like, he decided.
He turned slowly and saw that she was out on her front porch, curling in on herself and shaking from how cold it was outside. She kept a hand on her head to tame her long hair flying around her from the force of the wind.
This is what heaven looks like.
They stood there for what seemed to be an eternity.
"What are you doing here?" she asked softly. Her voice was snatched by the wind, but he heard it.
He noted her darting eyes.
He was making her uncomfortable.
"Leaving." He replied. And turned to leave.
"Wait."
He stopped and turned to face her again.
She seemed to hesitate as she tucked her hair behind an ear.
"Do you…?" she trailed off but seemed to regain her courage. "Do you, maybe want to come in?"
No.
Sakura stared at him, eyes pleading.
Say it. He begged himself.
Sasuke took a deep breath.
"Sure."
Sakura tensed but gave him an almost-smile and Sasuke began to hate himself further.
This was hurting her.
Sakura went in and Sasuke trailed after her, shutting the door and locking it on his way in.
She led him into the receiving room and sat down on a chair, ignoring the couch, Sasuke noted.
She didn't want to be close to him.
He sat down on the chair opposite from her.
Sakura drew her robe tighter around her and crossed her legs, her eyes full of conflicting emotion.
Sasuke remained impassive save for the unmistakable tension in his eyes and shoulders.
"So," Sakura began, "what brings you to the other side of town?"
She was hoping that they could move around the main topic, not wanting to discuss it with him. She feigned ignorance.
"We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me"
If she didn't want to talk about it then they wouldn't. He had no right anyway.
"I don't know." He said, sounding genuinely confused.
"That's okay." She said softly.
Sasuke seemed to relax a little bit more.
"So how are you?" he asked softly.
Sakura smiled slightly and glanced down at her hand.
That was all she needed to do.
He knew she was doing great and she was happy. She'd found everything she'd wanted.
It hurt him.
To see her smiling at a memory of another man.
The ring was blinding.
He felt hollow.
It used to be that he could count on three people to run to for anything.
Sakura was out of the question, the problem was about her.
Kakashi was no help, he wanted this for Sakura.
And Naruto…
Naruto was the man Sakura was engaged to.
He had nowhere to go.
"Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again"
Sasuke glanced at the walls. Full of happy pictures of her and Naruto.
From them backpacking through mountains.
To a few pictures of them at the beach.
There was only one picture that was remotely familiar.
It was when they were twelve.
He found comfort in that. That she hadn't forgotten.
That a time before now, she had loved him.
But he wanted to forget.
"I'm doing great." She finally answered him.
He nodded. "That's good."
Sakura pit her lip and tucked her hand under her elbow.
Sasuke looked at his shoes, trying to ignore the warmness the home radiated.
Full of love and memories and kindness.
"And you?" she asked.
Sasuke breathed in deeply before answering her, trying to find a way to answer her.
He didn't want to ruin her happiness anymore but he wanted to tell her how he was doing.
"I've found somewhere to live."
She smiled at him and his heart ached. "That's good."
If only she knew it was in a different country.
"Yeah." He breathed.
"Do you want coffee?" she asked.
This was just another way to make it less uncomfortable for her. She wanted a few moments to get herself back together.
"Sure."
He really didn't want any, but this was the only way he could repay her for right now. To let her get a hold of her bearings.
She got up and walked toward the kitchen with grace.
This was the only way he could come.
With Naruto on a mission, it was easier to apologize.
It also made it easier for him to not lose it.
He might just end up hurting their fragile relationship even more.
All his life, he'd been fighting against Naruto.
Then he'd beaten Naruto, becoming the strongest out of both of them.
Not realizing that he was really the one who lost.
He might be stronger but he lost the most important thing he had in order to gain it.
He was the one who instigated it.
He was the one who made it necessary for the two of them to become closer to each other in order to fill the void he'd left when he turned his back on them.
This was ENTIRELY his fault.
So why was he here?
Maybe it was self-destruction.
Maybe he wanted to hurt himself as much as he'd hurt the one most important to him.
Rubbing salt in the wounds.
But in punishing himself, he was making it harder for her as well.
Silently, he got up and left.
He didn't belong there.
Sakura came back with two cups of coffee, but found Sasuke gone.
Calmly, she set the two cups down and sank into the couch, before her legs gave out and her lips started to tremble.
Not being able to hold it back anymore…
She began to sob.
A/N: I warned you it was going to be depressing. I never said it would be easy. And anyways, I didn't want it to be easy.
Yes I wanted it awkward.
Yes I wanted it dark.
It was raw and full of emotion and that's all I can ask for.
I do hope though, that it was even a little moving. This isn't the only chapter, I'll be writing more on this and "Take a Look at Me Now".
-Penguin Out
PS: I hope when you read this it doesn't bum you out for the rest of the day though, cuz that is so not what I'm going for.