The Beautiful Green Bachelor Of Konoha

A story by Songtsone

Songstone: This. Had. To. Be. Done. It had to! XD C'mon guys, you all should know me and my crazy writing style by now. With the new season on TV, how could I not be tempted to write such a OOC and amusing story? Well, I hope that this will make you guys laugh, and I hope you stick around for more.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Bachelor

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Twenty-five young ladies.

Twenty-five women arriving one by one in glorious white limousines. All would be dressed in the most formal of evening gowns and would have their hair pulled up into the best style, not to mention they would walk in some of the most expensive six inch heels around. Their faces would be aglow and their smiles as white as can be. The make-up they wore would be either too light or too dark over their eyes or on their lips, but some of them knew exactly how to prepare themselves. They all had to look perfect. There couldn't be a single chip in their nail polish and their earrings had to sparkle just right.

After all, all twenty-five women had to look good for the man they were about to meet.

Yes, The Bachelor. The man who would pick his way through over twenty women and somehow find true love at the very end of the show. To her, he would offer the last Red Rose and might even ask for her hand in marriage if she was lucky enough. That man was the one they all had to impress. He was the reason that all twenty-five women were dressed up and painted to perfection. They had to be one of the fifteen women who would get a Rose that night!

Twenty-five women. Though, unannounced to the camera crew, the director of the show, the host and even the handsome bachelor himself, there was a deciever amongst the females.

The twenty-five women were really twenty-four.

- - -

Never before had Gaara Subaku felt so utterly humiliated or disgusted with himself. He was hurting his pride with what he was doing, embarrassing his family and bringing shame to all men around the world.

At the age of twenty-one, Gaara had never done anything like what he was doing just then. He would have never imagined himself in such a situation and if someone had tried to warn him about it, he would have laughed in their faces and told them that they were nuts. But now that he was really there, Gaara wished that someone really had given him a heads up. Anything. Something that would have softened the blow of shock that was dealt when he stepped off of the white limousine he had been riding in.

Twenty-one years of life in which Gaara had worn nothing but boys clothes. Where he had been rough and active in a way only a boy child could. He had walked, sat, spat and even cursed like a male for almost all of his life, but here he was something completely different. Here, in front of the large mansion that waited for him outside of the limousine, Gaara had done the impossible and had changed his gender completely without any form of surgery.

Gaara wasn't very tall, standing only about five feet high, but in heels, he was a good five foot two and a half. He had wrapped himself up in a very pricey and shiny red dress that matched the color of his hair, though it didn't drop low to the middle of his chest like all of the womens' dressed did. It rested on his collar bone and the sleeves hung low off of his shoulders in an elegant fashion. The length barely reached his knees, but it was low enough to hide the fact that he was decieving everyone on the show. His middle regions were actually very well hidden and Gaara planned on keeping it that way.

Gaara's eyes were a bright aqua-ish color and were surrounded by dark, pitch black rings that made everyone around him think that he had just gone overboard with the eyeliner. In reality, the rings were just dark circles from lack of sleep, the redhead having suffered from horrible insomnia ever since he was a child. But Gaara thought that the black around his eyes made him stand out more so he had never made any sort of attempt to hide them from the world. He sported them proudly and sure enough, people noticed him as he walked down the street. Mostly because his skin was so pale that the black easily stuck out on his face.

Another odd thing about his appearance, or so he'd been told, was that his bright, flaming red hair clashed with his pale eyes. What made it even stranger was the fact that he had no eyebrows, but he didn't really care. Gaara didn't see anything wrong with his natural hair color and he personally thought that his eyes were his best feature, so he had assumed that everyone else was just overreacting. He was a strange one, even he would vouch true to that statement, but Gaara really was a good guy. He just chose to hide that fact behind his harsh words and apathetic attitude towards the people around himself.

So, as soon as he was out of the automobile, Gaara had to pretend that he was something that he wasn't. He had to pretend to be a woman. A giggling, flirtatious, fun-loving woman.

Now, how he had ended up dressed in drag and about to meet The Bachelor is a rather amusing story. His older sister, Temari, had announced one day that she had submitted a tape to try and get on the show. All of her friends thought that it was a wonderful idea and all had their fingers crossed, hoping that the director of the show would pick Temari out of thousands of other women. But Kankuro, Gaara's older brother, didn't find the news all that exciting. He was overprotective, even if his sister was a year older than he was, and didn't want any man anywhere near the blonde female.

Gaara, himself, could have cared less about what his sister chose to do. If she was picked to be on the show, he probably wouldn't watch it anyway. He hated those types of reality shows and thought that the people who actually thought that they would find true love by going on television and competing with other women over the same man were complete fools. "She won't get picked." He told Kankuro, a weak attempt to calm the other man down.

"She just might!" The brunette had retorted, sighing as he slumped even further down into the couch. "C'mon, Gaara. Temari's pretty. She's blonde, green-eyed, tall . . . Any guy would want her! She'll get picked . . ." It seemed that Kankuro should be happy for his sister, but he only sounded depressed when he thought of his big sister on television doing something that she might regret later.

"She won't get picked. I'll bet you anything." Gaara had said, rolling his eyes at Kankuro's behaviour. "There are plenty of other tall, blonde, green-eyed women out there. They don't need Temari."

Out of all that Gaara had said, his brother's ears had only filtered out one part. "Bet?" He asked, looking lazily over towards his younger brother.

Gaara had sighed and nodded his head. "Whatever you want. That's how much I know that Temari won't get picked."

There had been a moment of silence and then a large grin had spread over Kankuro's face. He sat up and pointed a finger right at Gaara. "If you're so confident, then why don't you send in a tape?"

The other's words had nearly made Gaara choke on the glass of root beer he'd been drinking. "What? Surely you're joking." He gaped at his brother as the said man shook his head. "I can't send in a tape, you idiot! It's for women only! And the last time I checked, I was a man." He crossed his arms over his chest and gave a huge huff of annoyance.

"So? Dress up like a girl." When Gaara had just gaped at him, open mouthed and wide-eyed, Kankuro sighed. "You're girly enough as it is. Just add some make-up and a wig . . . A dress." He smirked when his younger brother aimed a punch at his jaw, but he moved at the last moment, the other strinking the couch roughly.

"I am not girly!" Gaara cried, enraged. He tried to hit Kankuro again, but missed when the older man hopped up from his seat. "Who do you think you are? Why don't you dress up?" He demanded, his face turning red from the blood that had gone to his cheeks in a sign of embarrassment.

Kankuro only laughed at how his younger brother looked and took a seat in a rocking chair away from the couch. "Because, you said that you would bet anything. Besides, you seem so confident. What could it hurt? No one will pick you, just like no one will pick Temari." He sneered and Gaara let out a low growl, realizing that his older brother had him trapped. He had said that.

"Fine." The word was spat out after a long moment of silence and Gaara took a seat back in the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. "But when they don'tpick me or Temari, you owe me money. Lots and lots of money." His brother had agreed and had nearly choked with laughter when he saw his brother dressed as a female. Gaara had bought hair extensions that matched his color, making his hair longer, reaching down to his shoulder blades. He had styled his bangs over his eyes in a way that hid the 'love' tattoo that he had gotten done over his left eye and even went as far to wear his sister's clothes and make-up. He didn't make such a bad looking girl, really. Besides, he was not going to get picked. Not him out of all of the other women.

Oh, but how much his brother laughed when Gaara recieved a letter from the director of the show saying that he had made the cut and was to be on the show. Gaara couldn't believe it. He had kept rereading the letter while his older brother cackled and snorted in amusement, but the words never changed. He had been chosen.

But that wasn't the end of his horrible luck. About two days after he had gotten his letter in the mail, his older sister got the same one. She was jumping around the house, screaming at the top of her lungs, calling everyone she knew and bragging that she was going to be on television. Gaara and Kankuro had decided that they should keep their little stunt to themselves, because if Temari ever found out, all hell would break loose. But then . . . what could they do? Gaara had to either show up, or say that it was all fake and that he really was a male. But if he did that, then he would be all over the news and he wouldn't be able to leave his house for months. No, Kankuro advised that he just go and get it over with.

"The guy'll probably tell you to get out on the very first day anyway." The brunette had told Gaara. "You're so annyoing and all." Gaara had finally got a punch to connect with his brother's stomach, but he figured that his older sibling was right. He might as well go. He would be out of there on the first day. All he had to do was give the guy the cold shoulder and act stuck up. No problem.

But as Gaara walked the steps that lead to the entry way of the house, his eyes (made up with mascara to make his eyelashes longer and thicker) caught sight of someone waiting for him on the steps.

It was a man. A tall man, standing at least six foot three at best, dressed in a formal black suit with a green tie. His hair was black and cut into an odd bowl shape around his head. His large, round eyes were a darker color of black than his hair, if possible. He had two rather massive eyebrows drawn together as he strained to see the new arrival. But as he stepped forward, his eyebrows hid beneath his bangs and his lips pulled back in a large grin, his teeth white and straight. His arms suddenly spread as he stepped forawrd to meet Gaara and the redhead's eyes widened. Was he supposed to . . . hug this man?

"It's so nice to meet you!" The taller man exclaimed, rushing forward suddenly at seeing Gaara's hesitation and wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders. "My name is Lee."

Of course, at the sudden contact of human arms around him, Gaara had tensed up. But he forced that away. He was supposed to be a woman. Women liked to hug people, didn't they? Slowly, he reached up and put his small arms around Lee's waist as far as they could reach. The man really was muscular. He must have worked out . . .

When he realized that he had yet to give Lee his name, Gaara cleared his throat and spoke softly. "I'm Gaara. Nice to meet you too." Oh, Kankuro would be laughing it up back home. Gaara knew it. It really wasn't hard to make himself sound like a woman. His voice was rather light, but when he was dressed as a man, you could tell he was a man. When dressed as a woman, his voice just sounded deep and seductive. At least, that was what Kankuro told him.

After they had pulled apart and Lee had gotten the redhead's name, he smiled and backed up, out of the way. "You can go inside. I'll join you shortly."

That being said, Gaara nodded his head and smiled before scurrying away towards the mansion. He had to look and act like a woman here, most of all because as he entered, he saw at least three different camera men walking about the house with their equipment either on a stand or on their shoulders. And there were at least two others outside! Sighing, Gaara reminded himself that this was only temporary. Just one night.

Gaara heard someone talking and looked over towards the noise. When he saw who was speaking, he quickly turned in the opposite way and took a seat on the couch. His older sister! He had forgotten her! He had to avoid her at all cost. She would rat him out for sure and their went his plan.

Just one night. Just one night. Gaara repeated the words in his head over and over, trying to calm himself down.

Just one long, lousy night. Just one long, lousy, stinkin' night!

Songstone: Well . . . I had to repost this since I got kicked out of my old account. I really hope that you guys can read and enjoy this story the second time around and maybe leave me some more of your really nice reviews.