A/N A short story on the thoughts of Lilly Evans. Please review, contructive critism welcomed. One shot.
Why do I love you, when I've hated you for years?
Why is it that war, makes the sanest people do the craziest things. Mine was saying I do, to a man that I only really got to know in my last year. The one that I had perceptions and prejudged thoughts for. The one that my child one day will ask, why?
The theory on the people you hate the most are often the people you will one-day love is true.
I don't know what I saw behind those round glasses or that mocking grin, perhaps I never will.
Even where there's been that tiny little conscious telling me how cute it is when you ruffle your smooth ebony untamable hair; or when your eyes look in my direction flaunting not only a childish glint but also seriousness and a kindness. In the end, it's my mind that overthrows that feeling like a fly caught in a spider's web.
I don't know why I used to hate you. Maybe it was the coolness that washed over you and the fact that you recognized it.
Maybe The way you treated everyone in your presence.
It may have been the simple logic of a new competition, I wouldn't have minded except you were exceptional. To be the school's biggest prankster and be also one of the smartest the school has ever seen.
Hate is too sincere. Loathe is preferable. How much I tried to lose you, you would find sanctuary in me like a lost dog looking for a home. Was that why you loved me? My cruel way to shunt your existence and not give you half a chance. How you told me that you would love me no matter what, but preferred my true self.
On the other hand, was it my fiery temper, or like most the game of hard to get.
I know why I hated you.
Your fiendish ways. Your cunning plans. The way you treated my friends…
Your taunting joys of hate and pleasure. Your gaunt features, The way any fifteen-year-old tried to seduce a girl at the small age of thirteen and your unbinding friendship…
My lose, my fall and my betrayal. You were there for all of it, thick and thin. Even when I wasn't aware of it.
You tried to joke, to seem cool. Nevertheless, it was never enough.
You saw me love. You wept. You saw me taunted. You did not laugh.
You tried to move on, you never could.
All was seen was the living reminder of me and your heart backed away.
I asked my self once why I love you.
Was it because of your attractive features?
Was it your strong friendship and kind heart?
Was it that childish grin on your face?
No.
A mask had been removed from my eyes and I saw your true nature.
Your concern, your tragedy, your passion.
You gave me a Lily because a rose was too cliché. You showed me what it was like to live on the front line.
I loved you because you loved me back.
And that was all I wanted. To win the war of love and stop trying to find myself on my own.
But to have you at my side, to help me.
I loved you, I hated you, and I died just to be with you.