I edited this. I wanted to thank Paladin for your wonderful review. It was very insightful and I tried to take it to heart while working on this. I don't know if this edit is any better, but I hope! I think everyone else for the reviews as well, they make me so happy!
Maura doesn't like Casey. In fact she hates the man. She had not been raised on the tired axiom of not using the word hate because it is strong. Constance taught Maura the importance of word's meanings and to only say what she means. And she hates Casey Jones.
She tries so hard to be happy for Jane. She fails miserably. She can never seem to mimic a happy tone when talking about the object of Jane's affection. She is, at the very least, aware that
Jane is disappointed in her lackluster attitude and she needs to come up with some reason other than being in love with a woman who is dangerously close to getting engaged.
She blames it on losing her best friend and, of course, that is what is happening. Even though there is so much more to it than that, what Jane doesn't know can't hurt her. Or hurt Maura any more than it already has, that is.
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When Casey's leave gets cancelled and Jane has to make her decision immediately, she says 'no'. She turns down Casey's (in Maura's opinion, unromantic) proposal and she – Jane – is crushed. She retreats into a carefully protected shell that no one, not even Maura, can infiltrate. Several weeks pass and Jane is withdrawn and Maura hasn't seen her outside of work since the day Casey left. She refuses any and all visitors and this stings for Maura. She had always thought she would be the exception.
Casey has a point. Jane and Maura are extremely close; but when he tells her – Jane – that she will not be able to remain friends with Maura there was no other option. He made the decision for her. Despite this, it still is not easy. She has a very tough time accepting that she went from practically engaged to completely single in one syllable. 'No'. She had been so ready to marry him.
Jane Jones is a dumb name anyway.
After turning down Casey's proposal, Jane can barely look at Maura without feeling like she is out of breath. She doesn't know how to handle her feelings and she doesn't want to lose her best friend. She knows her silence is hurting Maura but she worries her words will scare her away. Jane only talks to Maura at work about work while working. She can't bear to look at her sad face because all she does is look at Jane with pity because she had been so happy and now she's not. Now she's confused.
She stays confused for what feels like forever. She doesn't know if she can handle telling her best friend the truth; but she doesn't like keeping things from Maura. It borders on physically painful. She finally confesses her feelings to Maura on a Tuesday. She had wanted to come clean on Monday, she had even gotten all the way to her house before she chickened out and went home. Maura takes it significantly better than Jane anticipated.
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Jane emerges from her shell on a Tuesday. Maura comes down into her kitchen to start on some coffee before getting ready for work and finds Jane sitting at her counter with two mugs already brewed.
"I made it all fancy, the way you like it." She pushes the ceramic mug across the counter. Maura accepts it with a joyful smile.
"Thank you."
Jane nods in response; she appears distracted as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. Maura notes that this is a nervous habit that Jane rarely displays.
"What's wrong?" The doctor questions.
"I need to explain something to you and I need you to just listen to what I have to say." Jane has her fingers wrapped around her mug so hard her knuckles are white.
"Alright, I'm listening." Maura says. She slides onto the chair next to her best friend.
"Before Casey left, he gave me an ultimatum, another ultimatum, that is…" she pauses, "he said I would need to end my friendship with you if I wanted to be his wife." Maura's heartbeat accelerates and she feels it under her fingertips, "I didn't even think about it, Maura, I realized there was no way I could be without you. I love you. I just didn't know how much." She hesitates and takes a deep shuddering breath. "And I'm sure that this disturbs you because there is no way you feel the same way and I don't even know if you're attracted to women but I had to say something."
"Jane." Maura interrupts.
"I said –"
"I love you, too." She states emphatically. Jane stares at Maura, her mouth open in shock.
"Really?"
Jane's voice squeaks up at the end and Maura finds it incredibly endearing. She feels a smile spread over her lips. She can't feel her fingertips anymore; the numbness brought on by the increased blood-flow to other parts namely the flush of her face and to her legs.
"The brain releases Norepinephrine whenever you're around someone you're attracted to in order to drive you to act. Also, when infatuated with someone you are assaulted by Dopamine and Phenylethlamine and this causes you to quicken your breathing." Maura flourishes her hands the way she does when explaining medical terminology.
"Maura, where are you going with this?"
"I'm trying to say that I'm attracted to you, too."
Jane reaches over and takes Maura's hand in her own as she angles herself at her best friend. She pulls it toward her lips, pressing them against Maura's knuckles.
"I'm sorry I've been so cold to you for the past few weeks." She sighs.
"It doesn't matter now, Jane, you're here, with me." She pivots her body so that they are facing each other and leans forward so that their foreheads are pressed together. "Just as it's supposed to be."
"You and me." Jane says with a smile. "I like that."