It was a fairly typical Wednesday evening in the month of July when Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy sat down to partake in the eating of dinner. There was only one difference- their dialogue was being controlled by a netspeaking moron who doesn't have any sort of grasp on the English language! Dun, dun, dun!

"Where is Draco?" asked Lucius.

"AFAIK he's still up in his room sleeping."

"That boy is starting to be a real PITA."

"Yes, well he is a teenager. They seem 2 enjoy rebelling. IAC, how was ur day?

"Well, I had YAM with Joneston."

"Did he mention the wardrobe? B/c if he isn't actually planning on selling it I'd like 2 know."

"Not 2 worry. FWIW he gave me his word he'd have it in on Friday."

"Oh, lovely. If u c him tomorrow, tell him TIA from me."

Lucius was kept from answering his wife at the arrival of his son.

"Oh, hi Dad, LTNS. Did u start W/O me?"

"We had 2. We had no idea when u would rejoin the land of the living. WB BTW."

"LOL sarcastically"

" :-( DRACO!" cried Narcissa.

"Draco, ur tone was uncalled for. Narcissa IMO ur reaction was a bit OTT"

"I don't think so, Lucius. IMNSHO the boy has no respect NE-more."

"If ur all gonna talk like I'm not here, IBCNUL8R."

"W8 1 minute, young man!"

": I don't want 2 B here tho."

"2 bad. We have a bit of an issue w/ u."

"STFU Dad!"

"Sil3nc3 N00B!"

Suddenly an owl swooped into the room and deposited a letter on the table. Lucius Malfoy picked it up and Narcissa decided it was time to retire, as she had developed a headache.

"Dr4c0, 1t w0ud 4pp34r th4t 0n3 0f my sp13s s4w u w1th a c3rt41n mudb00d."

"1 d0n't kn0w wh4t ur t4lk1ng 4b0ut. mudb00d 1s n0t 4 w0rd 1n my v0c4bul4ry ne-m0r3. w3'r3 1n l0v3."

"+-1$ 1$ (0\/3+3/ \((3+3. -0\X/ )23 /0, \/ 0\/ -312+2\ 0+0 3 $(- 00) +21+02 1 3 +-1$. \3 + 1' 1\) 0+-/0'23 $$, \6$/ 03+2/ \X/21+1\6 j32 0."

"-0\X/ )1) /0 1\) 0+ 0+ \/ 03+2? \X/323 /0 $32(-1\6 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110010 01101111 01101111 01101101 00100000 61\?"

"01001110 01101111 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110111 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01001001 00100111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01110011 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101100 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01001000 01100001 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01010000 01101111 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01100011 00101110"

"01010111 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110100 01110010 01101001 01111000 00101110 00100000 01001111 01101110 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01110100 01100001 01101100 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 00100111 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100111 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101101 01100001 01110010 01101011 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01100100 01100001 01111001 00101110"

And thus, my point is made. Plus I got the chance to use the internet to bitch about something! I have joined the ranks of lame teenage internet surfers world wide.