Disclaimer:I own nothing
'Harry thinking'
/Dudley thinking/(I know surprising huh?)

Scars of Life

Harry lay staring at the ceiling, he couldn't sleep, not after what happened. He groaned in frustration,and turned onto his side, facing the wall and he curled up. He felt dirty, and used, no matter how many times he tried to wash it away, the feeling would simply not go away. When he thought of why he felt this way, he shivered in disgust. He suddenly felt broken and alone, he was overcome with a strong wave of sorrow and regret 'You deserve this, Potter' he thought ' If it wasn't you, Sirius would still be alive ' He abruptly stopped that train of thought, it was still too painful for him, even after over a year. ' But you deserve this pain, it should have been you, not Sirius, he didn't deserve that . He was innocent, or have you forgotten, you caused all those deaths. Your parents, Cedric, Sirius, now Ron, hell all of them were your fault. A single tear slid down Harry's face, when he remembered Ron death. 'You could have stopped it, you should have stopped it.'

Harry reached for the knife under his mattress and stared at it for a long moment before he gently placed the knife against his skin, then slowly and deliberately dragged it across his scared flesh. Blood flowed freely down his arm, and onto the sheets. The Dursleys wouldn't notice the additional blood stains, not that they would care anyway, they had after all caused most of his current wounds 'That's it Harry, watch the blood, the blood of many, the blood shed for you. You deserve this.'

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, blocking his view of the crimson tears, he forced his eyes open again, reminding himself that he deserved this. He heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and he quickly hid the knife and his arm.The footsteps stopped in front of his room, then he heard the keys in the locks. An overwhelming sense of dread came over him, after all he did have a faint sense of self-preservation. He didn't move, even when he heard the taunting voice of Dudley Dursley.

" Good evening, Harry. Mum and Dad are out all night. Ready to have some fun?" Harry shivered at his idea of fun.

"Answer me you freak."Dudley demanded, anger building in his voice...still no answer. Dudley knew exactly how to handle this problem, his father had shown him. Dudley waddled towards the bed where his cousin currently resided. With every stride his smirk widened. In no time it felt like Dudley had reached the bed and was undoing his belt buckle, he held it, metal side facing away from him, and brought it down on the shivering, pathetic excuse of a human being. The small sixteen year old boy winced and gave a slight whimper at the sudden pain,but resolved not to cry out. 'You deserve this' the voice taunted again.

Dudley resumed his beatings, every whip of the belt cutting viciously into his cousin's skin. / Now for the real fun/ Dudley thought , a dark smirk gracing his ugly face/oh yes, he had plans for his cousin tonight/.Dudley dropped the belt, and without warning advanced on his cousin, who was now frozen in fear. He reached for Harry's shirt and ripped it off roughly. He ran his fat hands over Harry's bleeding flesh, Harry began shaking more violently.Dudley undid Harry's baggy jeans and yanked his pants and boxers off, then he resumed his ministrations.

Harry began to panic 'What if his cousin didn't stop at touching him this time?' ,'Who cares Potter?You know you deserve it'

Dudley got a strange glint in his eyes and roughly flipped his cousin over. / This time you won't escape me freak, I don't have to worry about my parents finding out. Tonight, freak, you are mine, I will take you and, you will scream./Dudley shed himself of his clothes, always keeping a firm hand pressed on Harry's back. He mounted the bed and positioned himself above his cousin, then slammed into him without any preparation.

Harry screamed bloody murder as he felt himself rip from the inside he struggled but after one hard thrust he had fallen to darkness.

Dream Sequence

Harry opened his eyes, he was in a pitch dark room, with no visible way out.He could hear a faint music, slowly growing stronger. Soon he could make out the words.

Realized I can never win
Sometimes I feel like I have failed
Inside where do I begin
My mind is laughing at me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Sometimes I can never tell
If I've got something after me
That's why I just beg and plead
For this curse to leave me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Betrayed
I feel so enslaved
I really Tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Oh God, the anger's changing me x2

As the song was playing over and over again Harry realized that it fit exactly, in fact he could have sworn it was written especially for him, but who sings that ? I have to find out. A faint light began to fill the room as he slowly regained consciousness.

Dream Sequence Over

Harry tried to move, but he felt a searing pain, and he doubted that he would be able to sit down within the next week.He made up his mind, he had to get out of here.'But you deserve this... You deserve these scars of life.' The voice interrupted, he mentally glared at himself and stated in a definite voice " No. This has gone on long enough, I will no longer stand for it ." With that said, he carefully got up and began to pack quietly, determined to make his departure as much as a surprise as his revenge will be.
TBC

(A/N: The song is by Korn; Did My Time