A/N: SOOOOOO... It's been a long week for me. And that long week, gave me the push to create this sad little story. NOT TO WORRY, THOUGH! There's a happy ending waiting for us. Eventually…

Ove the course of this story we'll sail from the time before 'Age of Ultron', through the turmoil of 'Civil War' and, eventually, to the end of 'Homecoming'. Because it's been driving me crazy, wondering what happened to make Tony and Pepper break up! (chuckles) So, this is my interpretation. This idea was first introduced in my 'SOS' collection, but this is an entirely independent story.

DISCLAIMER: ME, OWN?! MU-AH-HAH-HAA! Seeing my bank-account's status is believing. Me own NOTHING but a bunch of DVDs.

WARNINGS: Miscarriage, mentions and description of alcoholism, adult themes, language (sorry, Steve…!)… (Hey, coming from me, that's a short list!)

Awkay, before I chicken out… Let's go! I REALLY HOPE that you'll enjoy the ride.

Child of Mine

From Hello to Goodbye

In full honesty, Tony Stark never really saw himself as a dad. How could he, when he was basically an overgrown child himself? He enjoyed spending time with kids, but the thought of having his own terrified him almost more than anything else in the world. And somehow, idiotic as it was, he imagined that it simply wouldn't happen to him, ever.

Funny, really, how fate likes to twist things around sometimes.

Pepper had been nauseous all morning. And unlike some people imagined, Tony was capable of being a decent boyfriend from time to time. When he'd tried everything else imaginable he resulted to the most terrifying option. Herbal tea.

Tony winced and tried very hard not to gag. "'You sure this is safe to drink? Because I feel like getting a hazmat suit."

Well, at least he did something right. Because Pepper chuckled, curled up on a couch just within earshot. "It's tea, not a biological weapon."

"Could've fooled me." Tony frowned, stirring and checking the temperature. Why was he doing this when he didn't have any idea how to make proper tea? "You sure this… won't make you feel worse? You've already been ill for days…"

He had his back towards her, so he didn't see the look that passed by her face. Or the way she swallowed, like she was about to throw up again. "Look, I… I'm not sick. And… I'll probably keep puking for a while. Part of the fun, I guess." She'd been waiting for the perfect time to tell him. It was never going to get better than this, was it? "I'm pregnant."

Those words washed through Tony like a bucket of ice-water. He stared at the wall, everything spinning and swaying in his line of vision while his knees turned into rubber. Then, promptly and unceremoniously, he collapsed, hitting his head on the kitchen-counter along the way.

"TONY!"

Pepper thought she felt sick before. It was nothing on what she experienced as she sat outside one of the medical rooms, head buried into unsteady hands. Her stomach continued to twist upside down and back again.

"Hey." A large and calloused but gentle hand squeezed her shoulder. "It could've been worse."

Pepper snorted. It sounded more than a little hysterical, and far too tear-filled. Stupid hormones…! "He passed out and almost cracked his skull." Yup, she definitely sounded hysterical. Marvelous… "How, exactly, could it have been worse?"

Clint Barton shrugged, unfazed by her emotional disarray. "He didn't throw up. Or run away screaming."

Pepper swallowed thickly and looked down. "You sure he won't still do that?" She trusted Tony, of course she did. Even when it was difficult. Even when a lot of people had been telling her that she was an idiot for doing so. But this… This was a baby…!

"He won't." Clint sounded and seemed so sure that she felt like a fool for ever thinking otherwise. "Because he loves you. And he'll love the baby, too. As soon as he recovers from the concussion."

Pepper sat absolutely still. Desperate to ease her stomach, raging heart and screaming thoughts all at the same time. "Clint? Bucket."

He reacted with the speed expected of a seasoned field-agent, even held her hair. As soon as he had she puked more than there should've been in her stomach and winced. "Sorry. And… Thanks." For so much more than the bucket.

Clint shrugged. Like their current situation was the most normal one in the world. "Not the first time I've had someone vomiting in front of me."

Pepper didn't think she wanted him to elaborate, so she didn't ask.

All of a sudden she shivered when a hand grabbed hers to a loose but tender hold. She looked down, for some reason surprised that the touch belonged to Clint. He shrugged. "You looked like you needed that", he explained.

Pepper didn't thank him. Mainly because she didn't trust her voice to not crack. Instead she leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I hate Tuesdays", she muttered eventually, half-asleep.

"Me too."

"For a genius you're an idiot sometimes", were the first words Tony heard when he woke up.

Tony groaned and decided quickly against opening his eyes. "Trust me, I know", he whispered because anything louder might've made his skull actually explode. Five minutes, or maybe an hour, passed by before he pried one eye halfway open to find Clint sitting by his bed. "Pep tell you?"

"I… sort of figured it out." The archer sighed. "Look… You freaked out. A lot of people do at those news. And right now you've got two choices. You walk. Or you get over it and do better."

Tony groaned and rubbed his face too hard with both palms. "I'm gonna mess up that kid so badly…!"

"No, you won't." It was unbelievable how sure of the matter Clint sounded. "You'll screw up a lot of times. And trust me, there'll be times when you feel like the worst parent in the whole world. When you do, you've gotta remember one thing."

Tony's eyebrow bounced up. "And what might that be, Master Yoda?"

"That kid's incredibly lucky to have you. Because you're going to love him or her more than anything in the world. You wouldn't settle for anything less."

Tony did his best to digest those words and his friend's faith in him. And felt his stomach roll violently. "Bucket", he managed, seconds before it would've been too late.

In the middle of vomiting Tony could've sworn that he heard Clint mutter 'Not again'.

Once he was done and gratefully accepted the glass of cold water the archer offered, Tony faced his friend. He felt lighter, somehow, although the fear was still there. "Thanks, Budgie."

"Drop the name-calling until that bump on your head's gone away, Unicorn."

Tony was just about to escape the room he deemed a prison when he received another visitor. He tensed up when Pepper entered, tense and a little-red eyed. "Hey. Little bird sang that you're awake." She showed him a bag of frozen peas. "These should help with the melon swelling on your temple."

Tony accepted the offering gratefully. "Thanks." He shifted restlessly, wondering how to set his words. Because for once in his life he wanted to think before opening his mouth. "Pep, I'm sorry…"

She interrupted him with a kiss to the top of his nose.

Tony squirmed a little more, despite the comfort her gesture brought. "So… We're good? You're… okay?"

Pepper chuckled hysterically. "I'm terrified. And I… I have no idea where to start preparing for… this." She rubbed her still very much flat stomach affectionately. "But… I've got you to do this with me, right?"

It was Tony's turn to kiss her. "Yup. You've got me." When he wrapped an arm around her she practically melted against him. He closed his eyes and smiled, the crushing headache forgotten. "You've both got me."

Half an hour later Clint peered into the room and couldn't help smiling at what he saw. Tony and Pepper still sat on the bed, the billionaire grinning like a loon while holding her close. "You good, now?" he mouthed when their eyes met.

Tony nodded lightly, without any hesitation, his grin widening still.

And everything felt deviously alright in the world. Well. If one ignored the concussion.

Later, once a doctor had cleared him to leave the medical wing, Tony lay on his bed with his favorite person in the world in his arms. And wondered what he'd ever done to get so lucky. And, no matter how much he hated the thought, how long it'd take before it'd all be torn away from him.

Trying to smother the dread swirling inside him, he made sure that Pepper was fast asleep before focusing on her abdomen. He even risked to reach out a hand and stroke affectionately. "Hey", he whispered barely audibly. "You probably can't even hear me yet, but… I'm your daddy. And… I'm sorry I sort off… crashed, when I heard about you. But… I'll do better from now on, I promise. You'll see. I'll do whatever I can to be the best daddy in the whole wide world. Because… You deserve nothing less." He swallowed thickly, feeling stupid, giddy and far too emotional at the same time. "So… Stay safe in there, okay? Because I'm scared as hell but… I can't wait to meet you." He winced. "Don't tell mommy I used a bad word, yeah?"

Tony knew that it was far too early, of course. But he could've sworn that he felt something brush his hand. The emotions it roused startled him. Because he was happy, and few things that made him happy lasted long.

Feeling desperate although he didn't know why Tony pulled Pepper closer. He found that he couldn't sleep. Not when it felt like he was holding a ticking time-bomb that might bring down his whole world at any given moment.

A couple of days later Pepper was sipping tea when Tony entered the room with a look that promised mischief in his eyes. She arched an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"

"I know that it's too early to start planning a nursery or something. But… I wanted to do something. So… Ta-da!" With the final, over-dramatic syllables he revealed the most beautiful teddy-bear she'd ever seen. In a few seconds some uncertainty crept onto his face. "Do you… think the baby will like it?"

Maybe it was the hormones. Or perhaps she was going out of her mind. But Pepper had never loved Tony more than she did at that very moment. So, powerless against the desire, she made her way to him and kissed him, with all there was in her. "Yeah", she murmured once their lips parted. "The baby's definitely going to love it." She kissed him again, and instinctively sensed what he'd really wanted to ask. "And the baby's gonna love you, too. Even when he or she is a teenager and screams that they hate you."

"Sappy hormone-monster", Tony teased.

She kissed him again, and bit his lip lightly. "And Tony? I can hear your big brain whirring. And I see that wrinkle on your forehead." She pecked the mentioned spot. "Stop looking so scared. Everything's going to work out. And you're already a million times better of a dad than yours was."

It was Tony's turn to kiss her, which quickly led to some very adult activities.

A little over a week later Tony squeezed Pepper's hand with all his might as a device continued to glide on her gel-covered belly. Tony didn't think his heart had ever performed the kind of a dance it did just then, and his foot refused to stop tapping restlessly. His mouth felt unnaturally dry.

The bad feeling hammering in the back of his skull…

Eventually the examining woman's frowns and silence got too much for him. Pepper's hand was also turning cold and clammy in his. "So?" he urged with every bit as little patience as he had. "What's going on in there?" Was something wrong with the baby?

Eventually the doctor, a tiny woman in her late fifties, sighed heavily. Her shoulders slumped with defeat. "I'm truly sorry that I have to deliver such bad news. But, with this level of deformation…" The woman shook her head, her eyes full of grief. "I'm sorry."

And just like that, with three simple words, Tony's world came tumbling down.

Pepper's whisper-light words barely carried to Tony's ears. "What… What do you mean, deformation?" There was a heartbreaking amount of pain and sheer terror in her wide, moist eyes. "Did I… do something wrong? I mean, to cause it?"

The doctor's lips opened but Tony was faster. "No." NO, to all this. He squeezed her hand so hard that it had to hurt but she held back even more tightly. He wished he could've hugged her, carried her away from this. "You didn't do anything wrong. And… It's just… deformation. So… We'll have a special-needs kid." He nodded, sliding happily further and further into the ocean of denial. "We can manage that, right? It's still our kid. Just… special."

The doctor, whom Tony was truly starting to despise despite no fault of her own, watched with grief and pity in her eyes. "Mr. Stark, Miss Potts… I truly am sorry. But, as I was about to explain, with that level of deformation… The quality of the child's life would be beyond poor. And… It's highly unlikely that the pregnancy would even continue to the term." She sighed. "I wish I had much better news."

Tony, in turn, wished he had the breath to hiss that so did he. But he could barely breathe. The feeling of sinking, drowning… It was vivid and horrible. Tears were sliding down his cheeks before he had the chance to sense them coming, big and heavy.

Pepper didn't cry or whimper. She just lay there with a horribly painful look of defeat on her suddenly unhealthily pale face. And it occurred to Tony that he was about to lose a piece of her, too.

The doctor wanted to talk about… options. Tony didn't want to hear her utter another word, so he helped Pepper up from the bed and walked her to their bedroom, his arm wrapped protectively around her like that could've stopped their world from falling apart. He felt desperate to talk, to try and find anything that might've fixed this. A miracle-cure, a treatment, something. He needed someone to tell him that everything was going to be okay.

Pepper didn't make a sound. Not when she slid into their bed, facing the wall and her back turned against the whole world that let her and her baby down. For two full days she didn't utter a sound, or move from her position if it wasn't for a visit to the bathroom. She didn't cry, either, not even once. No emotion apart from agony could be read from the face she'd turned away from everything.

Tony had no idea how to help her, and that was more painful than anything else. He just lay there, doing his best to keep his sobs soundless and too afraid of somehow hurting her more to touch her, and wished he could've been enough. For her, and for their child. When he slept he had nightmares of a baby being torn from his arms, so he slept as little as he could, instead spent time with various experiments. For the first time ever those weren't enough of a distraction.

And then, on the morning when the winter's first snow fell, he woke up to the sound of Pepper screaming.

Getting to his feet far faster than he should've, Tony dashed into the bathroom. Pepper stood there, staring in horror at the blood meandering down her thighs. And there, with the kind of certainty that crushed his heart, Tony knew.

Whatever choice they had to make before… It was just made for them. Their baby was gone.

Tony fought to keep himself together. But nonetheless his eyes overflowed while he wrapped his arms around Pepper and held her, with everything there was in him. But no matter how tightly he embraced her, it still felt like she was slipping away.

It was the beginning of the end.

TBC

A/N: Oh man… Those poor things! (whimpers) SO. This is where we begin. What happens next after this tragedy? And how will this tale end?

AND, most importantly…! ARE YOU GUYS WILLING TO READ MORE, or should this story be terminated with no evidence left of its existence? PLEASE, do let me know – I love hearing from you!

In any case THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading!

Awkay, it's a busy day so I've gotta get moving. Who knows. Maybe I'll see ya guys again?

Take care!