AN: The title for this story is from Dido's song of the same name. It foreshadows what is going to happen in this chapter so don't listen to it if you want to be surprised. Also, let me know if you like it so I know whether to continue. For those of you that are reading my other story, this was what I was talking about when I said that Kim had her own story to tell first and she wasn't letting me finish We Are All Broken. Keeping that in mind this story comes from a different universe so don't get the two confused. Enjoy!

Here With Me

Adam did not want to be here, but he knew his absence would be noted. Not good to be on Sgt. Platt's bad side when she got back to work after her wedding. Adam walked down the aisle to find a seat next to Olinsky and Atwater in a pew about half way back.

The two men greeted Adam as he sat down. Atwater was scanning the church and had a perplexed look on his face. "Do you think there are any flowers left in Chicago?"

Adam smirked, "I doubt it. Guess Daddy came through after all." Adam turned to look towards the back of the church and felt all the breath leave his chest. God, she was beautiful. She always knocked him for a loop, but man, that dress was going to kill him tonight. Kim took Otis's arm and allowed him to escort her down the aisle. Mouch had given some of his firehouse buddies the job of ushers for before the wedding ceremony. Adam felt a huge wave of jealousy go through him since he wasn't the one escorting Kim. Otis walked Kim past the pew that Adam was sitting in and he heard Kevin let out a low whistle.

"Red. Damn girl looks fine."

Adam turned to look at Atwater and glared to show his displeasure at that comment. Kevin just raised an eyebrow and said, "What, homie? I got your back, but I'm just saying. Her dance card isn't going to have an empty slot tonight in that."

Adam could feel himself gritting his teeth. Tonight was going to be torture. Her image in that dress was going to burn itself onto his brain for months to come. He knew that in that moment it would not matter what happened to him in his next assignment. That image was never going to go away. The ceremony went as most weddings should with the added Mouch Platt touch. That meant that Mouch stumbled a bit over his lines and Platt stared at him like she was going to strangle him if he messed up. It was perfect. Adam shook his head as he and the guys watched the bride and groom leave the church.

The short drive to the reception gave Adam a brief time to regroup. Checking the seating chart told him, that he was sitting with the unit, and Kim had been seated at the singles table. Or the single firefighter's table from House 51. Guess he knew whose side Platt was on. Not that he had ever really questioned that one. Platt liked to give Kim a hard time, but in the end she cared about her.

Adam grabbed a drink from the bar and found his seat. Halstead raised an eyebrow, "It's a whiskey night, I see? Hate weddings that much, Ruzek?" Adam shook his head, "No, just the receptions when my ex fiancé is surrounded by single firefighters." Halstead looked over in the direction that Adam was staring and shrugged. "You know its not going to help if you keep watching."

Adam threw back the rest of his drink before answering. "I'm well aware." The music started at that time to announce the arrival of the bride and groom and Adam realized that any further drinking was going to have to wait till the announcements finished. There was not enough alcohol in the world to help him through this night anyway. Pain it was.

Kim had tried to enjoy dinner. Really. She had. I mean a table full of very attentive and very single firefighters should have been a dream come true for any girl. Apparently, she was not just any girl. The wedding ceremony had placed Kim in a hell of a depressed mood and she was trying her best to crawl out of it. All the wine she was drinking was probably not going to help that endeavor.

Earlier, she had been able to feel Adam's eyes on her from the moment she had walked into the church. She would be lying if she said she didn't like that. That it didn't thrill her a bit that she could still turn his head. It was the whole reason that she had chosen to still wear the dress she had planned to wear for him. He had said something one time about how she would look amazing in red. She was pathetic.

The whole crowd was now watching as Platt and Mouch had their first dance. It was sweet to watch Mouch wipe his brow before stiffly taking Trudi into his arms at the start of the song. Kim wondered what she and Adam would have danced to. Bad line of thought. Really bad thought. Kim only half heard a comment made by Otis about how awkward Mouch looked and she half smiled as the guys around her laughed. This was going to be a really long night.

The dance ended and the crowed clapped in polite happiness for the couple. The DJ opened the floor to the guests and started with an upbeat melody that seemed to be enticing quite a few. Kim could feel a tension at the table since it was completely filled with singles. Severide finally stood up and made his way up to Kim's chair. "Can I have this dance?" Kim figured the only way to get herself out of this mood was to take her mind off things and if dancing with Severide couldn't do it then she was hopeless. "Sure. I'd love to." Here goes nothing was the actual thought going through her head.

Adam's head was going to explode. If it wasn't bad enough to see Kim dancing with Severide from the moment the dance floor opened, Lindsey's comment just made it worse. "Good for her. He'll show her a good time." Adam's face must have shown his thoughts on that because Halstead very quickly removed Erin from the table and out to the dance floor. Adam once again knocked back the rest of his drink when he heard Olinsky clear his throat.

"You know, kid. You might want to watch that. Don't want to be hung over for tomorrow. Need to have your head on straight."

Adam had seen enough when Kim changed dance partners and was now seen in that new young paramedic/ firefighter's arms. What the hell was that kid's name?

"Don't worry, old man. I've got it."

Adam left the table and then made his way to the bar. He grabbed another drink and then headed for the terrace. He couldn't watch the show and he certainly was not going to dance. It was too early to leave without catching crap from the unit, so he figured he would take a moment to drink his whiskey in peace. It was too early for the smokers to be out there and the temperature had not dropped too much yet for it to be uncomfortable. He sipped his drink and he thought about how beautiful Kim would have been in white. How her smile would have lit up the whole room and about how badly he had screwed up his whole life.

Kim couldn't handle anymore. She made her way away from the dance floor and the party that was in full swing. Platt and Mouch certainly looked happy and had quite the event going since fire fighters and cops never turned down an opportunity to blow off steam.

She hadn't meant to leave Otis so abruptly, but all Kim could think about was Adam. What it would have been like to be dancing with him, what their day would have been like, and how much she missed being with him. She could hear in her mind the numerous sarcastic comments Adam would have made during the day. God she missed him.

Kim grabbed her small clutch from the table and made some excuse so she could head for the terrace. She needed air. Kim pushed open the door out onto the terrace and was initially relieved when she thought she had found it empty. She wrapped her arms around herself and could feel her eyes watering slightly. Taking a deep breath to try and control her emotions was only a mild help and that was when she noted she wasn't alone.

Looking to her right, she locked eyes with Adam. He had a glass of whiskey in his hand and the look on his face showed the same sadness and pain that she was sure was displayed on her own. Kim wiped her eyes while trying to not mess up her makeup and tried to straighten her spine. Her attempt to put her armor back in place wasn't working.

"Kim."

The soft breath that Adam said her name on was a knife to her heart. His next words as he placed his drink on the small table next to him was the twist. "This should have been us. I am so sorry."

Kim could feel the the gasping breath as a sob broke free of her chest. She tried to turn away, but Adam was there before she could. He pulled her into his arms and began to rock her while whispering into her ear. "I should have done a million and one things differently. And if I could go back and change them I would. I would do anything to have you back in my life."

Kim felt her hands grasping at Adam's suit coat to pull him closer. His one hand came up and cupped the back of her head before he whispered his final sentence into her ear. The one thing that was the sweetest pain of all. "I love you so much it physically hurts to be away from you."

As Kim's tears began to fade away, she pulled back and looked up into Adam's eyes. It was all too much. The wedding The reception. The pain. Her love for him. It broke her resistance. Kim reached up on her toes and used her grip on Adam's coat to pull his lips down to hers. She could tell that his initial surprise was quickly replaced with the want and need that she knew he always had for her. How they ended up in Adam's hotel room, she couldn't tell you. It was a blur. She just knew that once that door was closed it was about them. It was reconnecting. It was intense. It was heaven. Kim had never felt that worshiped before and she had never enjoyed a night of too little sleep so much.

As the morning light began to sneak small rays into the hotel room, Adam continued to watch Kim sleep from a chair not far from the bed. He had not been able to sleep, but contented himself on holding her till the time got to a point that he couldn't stay in bed any longer. He was going to have to wake her up soon, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, yet. Her brown hair was such a stark contrast to her light skin and the white of the sheets. He watched her lips part slightly as she seemed to be saying something from a dream and then she began to stir. He was going to have to tell her. Not many people knew but after last night he had to tell her the truth.

Her large brown eyes showed confusion initially when she opened them. Once she saw him, he could tell that her confusion wasn't clearing since he wasn't in bed with her. Taking a deep breath Adam dived right in, "I'm leaving for an undercover assignment today. I check in with a task force this afternoon. I don't know how long I'll be under."

After the words were out of his mouth, Adam realized that he probably should have eased her into the information. Kim began to sit up clutching the sheet to her chest and Adam tried to explain further. "Its a joint task force like what Lindsey worked on, but I am only going to be loaned to them for this assignment. Voight and Olinsky came to me about a week ago."

Adam could tell that Kim was still processing what he was saying, but what came out of her mouth was not something he was prepared for. "So what was this? A goodbye?" Adam got up from his seat immediately and made his way to her.

Kim placed a hand on his chest to keep him at arm's length, but he still managed his way to sitting on the edge of the bed. "No! I didn't think... I never thought you would even talk to me again. If I even thought there was a sliver of hope to fix us, I never would have taken this assignment. I..." Kim's hand began to slide down his chest as her anger abated slightly. Adam cupped her face in his hands and rested his forehead on hers. "I love you, Kim. I want nothing more in this world than to be with you. I just acted last night. Was it a form of goodbye? I don't want it to be that."

Adam could feel Kim's hands grasp onto his forearms. "I love you too. I just...what does this..."

Adam lightly pressed his lips to hers. He only needed to know that she loved him. "Kim, I don't know. I won't ask you to wait for me." He saw in her eyes that she was not happy with his statement, but he wasn't finished. "Not because I don't want that, but because I love you enough to realize that I can't ask you to put your life on hold."

Adam took a deep breath and then continued. "I would love for this to be a beginning. A new beginning, but I realize that I can't promise when I'll be back." Kim kissed him back and then she pulled back. "Be careful, Adam. Come home." Adam nodded and knew that she was asking him to leave. He got up and grabbed his suit jacket off the back of the chair he had been sitting in. He headed towards the door and turned back to look at Kim. "Take care of yourself, too. I love you." Adam walked out the door before he wouldn't be able to leave. He knew in that moment that he left a large part of himself in that room with her.

Post AN: I am now ducking all the imaginary objects that I would bet Burzek fans are now throwing at me. ;)