Prologue

Death is not something anyone should be fascinated with, as a matter of fact- it should the total opposite. Death scares me. Just the thought of it petrifies me to my inner core; the thought of never opening your eyes again. Never seeing the ones you love for eternity. Just… not living. I fear death. But somehow, death follows my trail wherever I go and at this point, I don't try to shake it off anymore. My phobia of death started the day my father died in a drunken car accident, and till this day, the fear still lingers. Yet, despite how Death haunts me, in some twisted way I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame and the attraction started the day I intertwined myself into Daniel Cullen's life. Now, I will never escape Death.

Chapter 1

A New Change

I don't sleep anymore. I don't remember a night where I could close my eyes and fall asleep to the beat of my heartbeat in my eardrums. I don't think I've actually had a decent full eight hours of nothing, but serenity in these past few weeks. Despite how much a seventeen-year-old girl actually needs sleep in this stage of her lifetime, I've found myself adapted to this bizarre sleeping trend of mine. Scoff I guess I adapt to things better than most people, I always have been; but to call-whatever this is, bizarre would be some sort of lie. A small part inside of me knows what could be triggering these sleepless nights of mine, his death date is drawing nearer as the gloomy days pass by. By 'his', I mean the death date of my late father, Michael Carter, a man who was my father for only the first three years of my life before he was hit by a drunk driver. Which is kind of ironic considering that his job required him to put away drunk drivers and criminals alike; yes, my father was a policeman belonging to the Forks Police Department before he was slammed on his side and thrown off the bridge into the cold depth water of a lake. As for the driver, he survived without so much as a scratch above his right eye (from what I remember my estranged sister telling me), but justice was in sure supply in a city with only 3,246 people in; which meant it didn't take long for the authorities to find him. So, I guess that is what helps my mom sleep more peacefully night for the past fourteen years since my father's death.

I shudder as the overwhelming, glum, sensation in my chest expands and I know it's my phobia kicking in. Fear is the right word. My fear of death. Whenever i dwell on it for long periods of time, that same sensation triggers within me. I don't know why I'm afraid of it, and despite all the research and credited sources explaining my fear- none of it added up. Neither did the coping mechanisms I've tried countless of times.

I throw the midnight blue comforter off of me before throwing my legs on the side of the bed and getting up, I pause as I leaned against my bedroom door and laid my ear on it… nothing. I then remembered that mom was called in for morning rounds at the local hospital while my step-dad, Blake Lahote, was off at his store on the La Push Reservation; leaving the entire house to myself for the rest of the morning. I push myself off my door and hurried my way over to my giant bedroom window which overlooked the acres of Forks green surrounding my backyard.

I unlock the window and use whatever little body strength in me to lift the heavy window up; a shiver runs through me as the harsh, wet, wind blows into my bedroom and without a second thought I turn around and grab my pink fuzzy bathrobe. My breath hitches in my throat for a quick second as a second wave of chill air rushes pass me. I tie the robe around me and place my hands on my hips before I turn on the bare heels of my feet, and make my way over to my wardrobe. It's a basic thing, white wood matching my headboard with bronze knobs on each of the five drawers.

I glance back at the alarm clock (which I had put on silent this these past couple of days) on my night table, I frown noticing the clock reads 7:20 AM; I had about thirty more minutes before the school bell rang.

I take out a pair of warm leggings to put underneath my jeans and an beige oversized fisherman's sweater that cropped at the front. I crouch down to the bottom drawer and pull out a pair of white panties and a grey bra. Because who in the hell has time to find a matching pair? I sure as hell don't. I bundle all my stuff together and make my way to private bathroom, already looking forward to a hot shower.

I enter the bathroom and place my bundle of clothes on the bathroom shelf which was a above the towel rack. I faced the mirror, my deep-honey-brown eyes watching myself taking apart the mess of damp, thick, black, curls sitting on top of my head. Good, I think as I ran my hands through my hair watching the curly bounce down to a few inches below my shoulders, it still looks managable I sighed before I snaked my way out of my robe as I made my way over to the shower. I hastily got out of my PJ's all while throwing aside the sunflower shower curtain and switched on the shower, I waited a few seconds until the water turned hot enough for my taste before jumping in, determined to take the quickest shower that would wake me up before I made my way to school.

Forks High School had to be the biggest, and largest, built lot- except for the hospital of course- in town; with only about a few hundred students participating in Forks' population. Take it from me, I've known everyone in my junior year since Kindergarten- granted, there would be days where I acted like I didn't know anyone at all to keep myself a little sane. I've spent almost seventeen years of my life with the same faces around me, and I've prided myself on how I've been able to keep my shit to myself. Because, when you live in a small town, sooner or later almost everyone finds out what's currently happening in your life; but, in a high school as small as this one, word travels through the halls as soon as you've opened your mouth. So, the idea of only trusting one person with the revelation of losing your virginity to Matt (who's been with Tiffany, the team captain of the cheer team, since eighth grade, mind you)- is thrown out of the window before you could finish your sentence. Not my story, but I've been in these halls long enough to hear that same event (though with different names) happening like a rerun of a morning soap opera.

My fingers lightly drummed against the middle of the leather steering wheel, I let out a breath of minor frustration as I banged my head against the headrest, three more minutes I think to myself. Three more agonizing minutes before the first bell rang and the day would officially begin, it's been a few weeks since the second half of junior year began and I was already looking forward to the four-and-half months of summer break. I heard a small pitch-shriek from outside and through the light spread of rain drizzle on my windshield, I could make out Jessica Stanley- your usual bubbly, girly, blondie who didn't second-think about gossiping behind your back, if it boosted her social status- forcing herself into the arms of Mike Newton. Mike was your average Basketball jock, but he showcased a rarely seen sweet side him every so often.

Surrounding the two of them were their friends; Angela Webber, daughter of the Reverend of the local church, she had to be the most kindest and honest girls I know and it still confused me as to why she hung around Jessica and Lauren so much (not that I should be talking since I would have to be around them since my best friend still hasn't gotten back from her winter vacation); Tyler Crowley who also happened to be the star of the basketball team, alongside his best friend Mike Newton; and my least favorite of them all, Lauren Mallory who had to be the most unfriendly, self-centered, bitch and despite all of her crap, she was just as popular as Jessica. As for me, I didn't really care about if I was put into the 'unknown' label or if I was included with Jessica and Lauren.

I watch as Lauren whispers something to Jessica which made her snicker and I roll my eyes when I realize it looks like to be the same expression Jessica has on her face whenever Lauren decides to open her mouth to insult someone; My eyes follow Lauren's index finger to an old-school Chevy truck in a rusted orange coat; it definitely stood out out of the entire student parking lot, besides it's unusual color compared to the sea of blue and grey cars, I doubt that anyone has ever seen that truck anywhere near school. I looked closely to see if I could see anyone near the truck that could potentially be the owner, but there's no one in the car… which could only mean one thing.

A new student? the thought pokes itself in my mind just as the bell rings. I watch for a quick second watching as everyone in the parking lot acts like one huge incoming flood as they cross the lot to get to their classes. I exit out of the car, swinging my bag strap over my right shoulder with a little more bounce than necessary; the thought of a rare appearance of a new student had sparked some interest in me- because who in the hell decides to move to Forks?

I make it through the first three periods with little to almost no difficulty- by 'difficulty', I mean falling asleep. By time I made my way to my fourth period, I submitted myself to the small disappointment of not running into the new addition of school. Whoever they might be. Although, I really wasn't worried about slobbering all over my desk this period since English was really the only subject I could tolerate and actually had at least some interest in. Besides, Mr. Cauley was one of the teachers I could hold a conversation with in and out of school. I strode into the classroom with little to no hesitation not bothering to greet Mr. Cauley, who seemed to be in the same old debate between him and a student who looked to be failing the class. I honestly didn't know why some would fail this subject, it had be the easiest subject the education system forces onto our shoulders. Less complicated than science and not even comparable to the depression known as 'math'.

The way the classroom is set up isn't entirely as different most classrooms in the building, but the one thing about Mr. Cauley is that he liked to debate. A lot. Which meant that a majority of his time in his class was him giving us a few topics of a certain subject or book, and us having to discuss it with our seating partners. So, instead of having rows or table groups, our desk were paired up facing each other in our opposite direction. I didn't mind it since my seating partner (remember Mike?) never really bothered to get deep into the discussion, regardless of the topic. Speaking of partners and seating arrangements….

"Um, Sarah, why are you in my seat?" I make sure not sound too harsh and forcing myself to curve a small smile.

Sarah Marshall was a mousy-brown haired girl with braces in her teeth since middle school, a baby face which she really hasn't outgrown, baby blue eyes, and freckles adoring her entire face. Additionally to her outer appearance, Sarah was also easily triggered; by that, I mean at the sudden indication of someone's sudden change of attitude towards her, she would burst into tears and make a full out scene. You would never hear the end of her 'I'm sorry!' or 'what did I do?' for a few days after either. So, everyone tiptoed around Sarah Marshall, and those who didn't would learn sooner or later.

Sarah flushes, "my brother broke my glasses last night..."

Ah, no wonder why she looked different.

She continues, "so, I asked Mr. Cauley if I could sit up front for a few days until my new glasses came- if that's okay with you!" she puts her hands up in mock surrender and her eyes are wide.

I wave her off, "sit there as long as you have to, it's fine."

Sarah's eyes gleam with delight as if this is one of the few times people have been considerate of her. I almost feel a little bad at that fact.

"Really? Thanks so much Angelica!" She gushes.

I cringe at the sound of my full name coming out of her mouth, but I fight to make it noticeable through a wide smile, "sure, where's your seat again?"

Sarah nods before pointing to the lone pair of desk near the back corner of the room, the only desk near the windows and the small row of computers against the wall. Sarah assures me her desk is the one facing the window before I make my way to the back of the room. I smile to myself realizing I actually have a view to keep my distracted when needed. I make myself comfortable in my new seat before setting my bag on the floor and taking out my notebook along with a pencil and red pen; and that's when I freeze. Just who in the hell was Sarah's partner again?

I stare at the empty desk facing me and I frown when I look around to see that almost everyone had settled into class, each with their partner in front of them; even Mike who was slumped into his seat, his body language speaking loudly that he did not want to be seen with Sarah Marshall. Mike sends me a pitiful look crossed with the puppy dog eyes, despite myself I let out a quick chuckle with a shrug of my shoulders. I consider asking Mike to get Sarah's attention for a few seconds to ask her who her partner was- but my little world stops when he walks in. Shit.

How in the fuck could I- or anyone, really- forget that Daniel Cullen was in this class? He's been here since the late half of Freshmen year and by now, you would think we would already get use to his presence. But then again he is a Cullen, and it didn't matter how long they were here, anyone would still act like it would be the first time ever running into one of them. It was almost impossible not to give any of the Cullen a second look whenever you happen to be around any of them; now, don't get me wrong, the Cullens were far from being put on a pedestal or even considered the 'Forks version of the Kardashians'- they were just so…. Uncanony. Especially in a town like this.

I must have been staring at the front of the room too long with my mind playing some delusional trick making me think Daniel Cullen was still making his 'grand' entrance; because before I knew it I could feel someone towering over me. I felt a quick chill embrace my entire body making my teeth almost chatter despite the heater in the class; slowly, I turn in my seat not preparing myself to be almost taken away by the sight of Daniel Cullen staring down at me. Shit, Jess wasn't lying when she went on and on about how the Cullen were picked from a movie line up

"You're in Sarah's seat." His voice was husky, almost velvet like, and his tone wasn't questioning; it was stating a fact.

Wow I blinked up at him. He's…. Gorgeous. His pale skin seems to be just as smooth as it looks flawless on the surface.

He only raised an eyebrow at my lack of words and I instinctively closed my mouth- when the hell did my jaw drop?- and nodded as I put back on my poker face. My eyes narrowed when his lips curved up to a tiny smirk, almost as if he knew…

"Her glasses broke," I said blantly before I shifted my attention to opening up my notebook.

Daniel Cullen seems have to accepted my answer and strides to the desk in front of me, I try to fight off the intensity I felt deep within me as I could feel his eyes never leaving my direction; even as he settled into his seats. How in the hell could he fit comfortably in these desk which looked tiny compared to his tall and overbearing frame. He was almost as tall as the door frame! I kept my thoughts to myself as I glanced between the board and my notebook, scribbling down the notes being projected onto the board.

The first half of class goes on quickly and silently. With no words shared between us, but it doesn't come as a surprise to me (the Cullens prefered to keep to themselves).

Five more minutes! The sirens in my head go off as I stare up at the electronic clock above the whiteboard. I let out a sigh as I leaned my head onto my fist, suffering to keep my stomach from grumbling- not that it would matter with how loud the class was being. But, then again, Daniel freaking Cullen was seated right across me and as uncomfortable as I already was with how his eyes were piercing straight at me;I was not going to give him the satisfaction of embarrassing myself. From the corner of my eyes I could see Daniel stippling with amusement from across me- I huffed in annoyance.

"What?" I snapped at him, with a little more force than I intended.

His eyebrows shot up in minor surprise, but he still had that damn smirk on his handso- face. Just face, nothing else needs to be used to describe him. Daniel Cullen didn't bother replying.

I rolled my eyes as I turned my head to glare at him, "you've been staring at me since class started; so, what. Do. You. Want?" I grounded out.

It was starting to leak that I was a snappy little thing when I was minutes away from lunch and hadn't yet been able to go near any type of food since the morning started. Daniel Cullen goes to open his mouth, and by the way his full, plush, (get a fucking grip on yourself!) lips were half-crooked- I knew it would be something smart. Sadly, I never got the chance to hear whatever he was going to say by the sound of Mr. Cauley clearing his throat (along with the pressure of everyone's eyes towards our direction).

Mr. Cauley crossed his arms over his lavender sweater-vest while he shot us an expecting look, "since it seems that you and Mr. Cullen are taking the reigns of the discussion upon yourselfs," he pauses and I inwardly groan at his request, "please by all means, share with the class what either of you think about Gatsby's infatuation with Daisy?"

For a quick second everything is quiet and neither I or Daniel has anything to say on today's topic all until Daniel opens his mouth and his voice smooths the entire atmosphere in the room. I mentally frown that my heart stammer in anticipation, literally out of nowhere.

Daniel begins with a little grin, "personally , the way Fitzgerald portrays Gatsby's never ending determination to have back the love of his life is an ironic twist in the book."

Mr. Cauley's eyebrows raise to his hairline as he motions for Daniel to continue, in which he does.

"Throughout the whole book, through Carraway's eyes- of course- is the significant journey Gatsby goes through the achieve his version of the American Dream. Daisy. Does he win over every obstacle sent to keep him away from Daisey? Yes. Does Daisey start leaning towards Gatsby's way as the book ends? Yes. Yet, in the end of it all- does he actually get Daisey? No."

"If anything, it's tragic. He loved her, she loved him; but they were kept too far apart for so long. The love for Daisy was still there, but the love for Gatsby, it dimmed. Like the glowing green light described in the book, it looked too close, but it was always too far for Gatsby to reach." Daniel finished, his lush lips into a firm thick line

I roll my eyes when as I observe how the rest of the class seems taken by Daniel's basic personal translation of the class novel we had just finished reading last week. Just one more minute though the minute seems too good to be true when Mr. Cauley's eyes falls on me with his green eyes sparkling with interest at what I had to say.

I tuck a curly strand behind my ear, "well, to challenge, the sympathy that my dear seat partner seems to share with Gatsby- he had it coming." I shrug.

Much to the surprised look on Cauley's face, the offended gasps by some girls (though I wonder which of it came from Daniel's Cullen's groupies?), and the bark laugh from Mikey. But hey, a girl's got her opinion? And I wanted to wipe the smirk on Daniel Cullen's face as much as I could try.

So, I continued, "I mean, he goes on for that amount of time without sending a word to her, but he claims that he loves her? Goes through all of the trouble of literally moving all of his shi-crap- to a whole new city just to be near her, even knowing she already had Tom and a son? Okay fine, I give him brownie points for trying to help cover up the fact Daisy killed off Tom's mistress- but, Gatsby wasn't in love with Daisy."

"He was in love with the possibility that she was the still the same girl before their first break-up. Still the girl who waited for him and pinned after him. The girl who wanted to be saved from big bad Tom. But, the entire time, he was just being played- it's his own fault he got shot! I mean, come on, you think that the person you left is still going to be waiting for you after all the time? The hurt you caused by not giving them a say when you made the decision to walk away- and you still want them to have the same love for you…"

I trail off when I hear the croak in my voice and I look up to meet their shocked- some are pitiful- eyes and the way Mr. Cauley gaped at me. I'm saved by the bell again and the spotlight is taken off of me as soon as it was put on as everyone raced against time to pack up their stuff and enjoy their lunch break. You really can't keep control, can you? A tiny voice mocks me inside of my head. My eyes feel wet, but I ignore the sensation as I hurriedly pack my stuff back into my bag; the same way I ignore the intensity I felt as Daniel kept his eyes locked on my every moment. I don't bother looking at him as I slide out of my seat and stride towards the door, not even bothering to say bye to Mr. Cauley.

Mike waits for me by the doorframe and shoots me a small smile which I return before the two of us make our way through the crowded hallway to the cafeteria.

Hey, are you okay?

I stare down at my phone in my hand as I read Angela's text on the screen, despite that I was already seated across from her at our lunch table; I typed a quick reply. Making sure to put a visible smile on my face as I pressed the 'SEND' button.

I'm fine. Just a little tired (:

If it were anyone else, i wouldn't have replied even if I knew they were in sight of seeing me read their text; but this was Angela, and the one thing I didn't like about her was how she could read me like an open book. Though, by now, I was already accustomed to hiding my words behind a false page for her to read. Angela sends me a nod, and I can't tell if she buys it or not because of the thick lenses of her glasses; I only respond with stabbing my lasagna and lifting a piece of it to my awaiting mouth. And that's when I hear it, the same name that I've been blocking in my head since lunch started.

"Oh, the last one is Edward Cullen's brother Daniel Cullen. Super gorgeous, I know- Jessica grumbles- but, their like so related which also means they both think no one is good enough."

Bella Swan looks away as if the last Cullen does nothing to interest as much Edward Cullen, I almost want to cut off Jess and snap at Chief Swan's daughter for even thinking that Daniel Cullen was lesser than Edward. What the hell is going?

Bella furrows her eyebrow and blinks her eyes (for like the 182nd time since I've met her), "wait, so, how are they in the same grade then? If they aren't even twins?"

Jessica takes a breath, "their like nine months apart, I think. At least that's what Mrs. Cullen told my mom."

I raise my eyebrows, "isn't she a shut-in? I don't even think I've seen her at the grocery store."

Bella whips arounds to look at me, "shut-in?"

Angela nods, "mmm, they keep to themselves mostly. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it."

Jessica grins, "believe me, I was shocked when my mom spilled the deets on when she talked to Mrs. Cullen."

I fight to roll my eyes like mother like daughter.

Suddenly I hear a streak coming from Lauren's pouty lips as she flips her blonde hair over her slim shoulders and angels herself, "oh my god Jess!"

Jessica almost snaps her neck by how fast she responded to her clone, "what?" she whispered.

Lauren swallows the lump in her throat as her eyes stare past my head, "why is Daniel Cullen staring at us?"

I almost want to laugh at how shook Lauren sounds as she grips onto Jessica's arm all while trying to seem the most bit attractive. Angela flashes me a look and we both struggle not to make a remark about how dumb Lauren looks going crazy.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure his eyes are on someone in particular." Bella comments.

I feel her dark eyes on me and I turn to look at her, "wait, what?"

Angela leans forwards, "Daniel Cullen is staring at you!"

I drop my fork on my tray and I feel the same intensity from earlier, and I know neither of them are over exaggerating because I can feel his eyes on me before I turn in my seat to meet them. Everything almost moves for a slow second as I meet his golden-topaz eyes which bore into my honey-brown eyes; my breath hitches in my throat as I hold his appealing stare. And then everything stops as soon as I see Alice whisper something to Edward, both of their eyes on me, and Edward passes it on to Daniel making him tear his eyes away from mine. I turn back around, eager to be free of his eyes that felt like they could trap me with eternity.

And as I finished my lunch in silence along with the new Swan in town, I wasn't sure if I would be put off by being in his eternity.

Oh god.

A/N: Mmm, so I hope you guys are feeling this chapter although I personally feel I maybe sort of rushed it? Anywho, please tell me what you think in the comments, keep me enlightned be Favs, and make sure I'm motivated with the Follows… if ya catch my drift (: Next chapter should be updated soon! Keep pestering me if it isn't!