Disclaimer: I don't own anything that was in Twilight or that belongs to S. Meyers.

Holiday in Handcuffs

Chap1: Just An Ordinary Day

LPOV

I had just gotten out of the shower and was pin curling my hair and sprayed it so the curls would be soft yet hard enough they'd stay at least through to mid-day. I set the timer for ten minutes so I'd know when to take the pins out so my hair wouldn't get over curled or hard and make me look a complete mess. This morning was going as it usually did every morning of everyday of my life with everything going fine which means something was about to go wrong and/or piss me off. And just then my phone rang.

I ran to get it and tripped, falling over my stupid coffee table I'd bought at a flea market. I cussed the stupid thing and kicked it before jumping off the floor and hopping over to the phone.

"Hello,"-I breathed out of breath and angry at my throbbing toes; damn I'd just painted them too.

"Tone Leah,"-oh god it was my mother; how can she meddle in my business today?

"What do you want mom I'm sort of busy?"-I asked as I sat on the edge of the couch blowing on my pained toes. Well it was too small to be considered a couch, more like thimble; I'd found this by a dumpster…don't judge.

"I'm calling to make sure you dress properly."-she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me."-she said sternly and I pulled the phone back and gave it the finger.

"I will dress properly. I'm a grown woman I think I know how to dress for an interview."-I said annoyed.

I wasn't exactly a failure but I wasn't exactly successful either and my parents had a tendency to sometimes point that out or compare me to my sibling and cousin who they adopted when her parents didn't want her; I see why now. I was an aspiring singer; I went to Julliard for singing which I thought was a huge deal, but according to some of my family it wasn't because a degree in singing is useless. I didn't exactly land a recording contract after graduation and have been working as a waitress for the past three years, making less than the cat that lives outside my duplex.

I'm happy with my choice just not where I am in life. Although things aren't going exactly how I'd hoped and are at a standstill, I know it's only for the moment; things would start looking up soon. Either that or I'd finally take one of those rich old perverts up on their offer and just dig me some gold; use my check to put a shovel on layaway since that's all I can afford. But in the meantime, it's wake up in my crappy one bedroom apartment in a neighborhood not even terrorist would step foot in, go to a restaurant who's food to me taste like small portions of ass and cost more than crack, and wait on the tables for patrons who don't know what they want, want too much, think they're better than me because I'm the waitress, or my all-time favorite, hit on me, compliments of perverted men…old men.

"I know you know how to dress yourself sweetie, but this is an interview with a good company and I want you to make an impression. Besides, isn't this what you went to college for?"-she said in an annoyed tone.

"I went to college for singing not to be a secretary."-I huffed as I went back into the bathroom to put my facial moisturizer on. I took my towel off, tossing it and didn't see it land on my timer.

"It's at a record label."-she said as if that meant something, and no it wasn't.

"No, it's a building that has a radio station on its thirtieth floor along with several other companies throughout the building. That's hardly what I went to college for."-I mumbled while applying the cream to my face and missed when the timer went off due to it being muffled by my towel and being distracted by her.

"Same thing,"-she dismissed and I ground my teeth.

"Is that all you called for?"-I asked, making it clear I was about to hang up.

"No, but I think you should wear your cute pink Christmas dress for the interview."-she said and I could just hear her smiling. I groaned and threw my head back to look at the ceiling that was leaking with hopefully water.

"Mom,"-I whined like a child. I despised that disaster of a dress she insist I wear every Christmas when we eat dinner and I hate pink thanks to her. I should just burn the damn thing.

"You'd better not burn that dress Leah!"-Sue threatened. Oh shit I didn't know I said that out loud.

"But mom I hate that dress and it's pink! I can't take anymore pink; please don't get me another pink sweater or dress this Christmas! Please I'm begging you and offer my first born if you don't."-I exclaimed as I walked over to my closet where there were…forty-two pink sweaters and dresses hanging like a museum of pink tacky. I glared at them, cussing them out under my breath. One even had ducks on it!

"Oh, but sweetie you look so good in pink, just like a beauty queen. It really brings out your light brown eyes and that dress makes you look almost as good as your old mother."-she chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not wearing it."-I said, refusing to change my mind.

"Good, you'll look so good in it; there's no way you won't get that job."-she said and I screamed with no sound, not knowing how she could control me. I checked my body to make sure I didn't have strings connected to me.

"You need this honey; your father asked Carlisle to give you this interview even though it's been years since he's seen you. He's a good friend to agree to do this even though you don't have a college degree."-she said and I looked at the phone with fire in my eyes before putting it back to my ear.

"I have a degree mother. It's from Julliard! And I wasn't aware you needed a degree to book appointments and get someone else's coffee."-I said as I put my panties on now that I knew what I was wearing, forced to wear. I zoned out looking at and groping my boobs in the mirror. I swear my left one is like two cups sizes bigger than my right.

"…Ok Leah?"-Sue asked; damn, she was still talking? I looked around the room as if the answer was in here.

"Uh…of course."-I chuckled nervously, then bit my lip hoping she'd bought it.

"Good, now that that's settled."-she said and I smirked; ha, she believed me. Maybe I should've majored in acting. "So you'll be here six sharp with Edward right?"-she asked as I tried putting my bra on. Don't you hate when it's almost clasped but then one side slips and snaps back and stings you in the side?

"Son of a bitch!"-I shouted; the thing hit a nerve or something. My left boob is too fucking big to fit I swear that's why it happened.

"Leah!"-she shouted and I cringed.

"Oh sorry I wasn't talking about you. Yes we'll be there six "sharp."-I said and told my bra to go fuck itself when it snapped me again. I threw it and grabbed my last clean bra which unfortunately was a push-up and I don't mean a normal push up, I mean an, I'm a B cup but look like a Z cup push-up. Wonderful; just what my already C cups need. Well, C cup and E cup.

"Great, I can't wait to meet him. He could be the one."-she gushed

"Uh…no."-I said lamely; damn can we date for maybe four months first?

"What,"-she asked sadly and I groaned.

"I mean, yup he sure could be."-I said over cheerily. It was best to just pretend with her sometimes rather than tell her to get her head out of the fucking clouds like I usually did.

"I knew it! Well I'll let you finish getting ready. Make sure you do your hair really pretty; maybe a French roll to make you look sophisticated."-she said and I could just imagine her pumping her hair up and pouting as if she was considering hairstyle for herself in the mirror. I rolled my eyes ready to pretend again, just to get her off the phone without hanging up on her

"We'll se-oh shit my hair!"-I shouted when I remembered I'd set the timer for ten minutes, it was way past ten minutes.

"I hope you don't use that langu-"

"Love you mom got to go; see you tonight bye!"-I rushed before bolting for the bathroom.

"No no no no no. Please don't have tightened!"-I begged with my eyes closed as I hurriedly took the pins out. When I was done I felt my hair with my eyes still closed and cringed at how hard and unmoving it was.

"Don't be hard, don't be too hard, please don't be too hard."-I prayed as I slowly squinted one eye open then the other. I paused looking in the mirror silently before screaming. My hair looked terrible; the curls were so hard and tight they looked like dark brown circular bricks.

I ran around my tiny apartment screaming, annoyed and pissed. When I rounded the stupid coffee table, you guessed it, I tripped and fell over it with throbbing toes and ankle to match and my left boob went popping out of this ridiculous bra almost poking my eye out. Who the hell needs a bra that makes you look eighteensizes bigger; men can't be that stupid to think it's real...never mind. Why the hell would Sue buy me this?

"You piece of shit!"-I screamed at the table and started beating it with my slipper. Yeah I know it would do no damage but it doesn't mean it didn't feel good to do it. I pictured the table was Sue and my slipper was a hammer.

My neighbor below me, who I hate with a passion, starts banging on his ceiling, my floor, shouting in Spanish.

"Hey fucker this is America, United fucking States of fucking America; respect it and speak English…or Quileute!"-I screamed while stomping. Stupid dick kept going.

"Keep banging and I'll call INS and have your illegal ass deported!"-I shouted while jumping up as high as I could and coming back down; I looked like I was on a trampoline and plain old crazy not to mention it hurt like a bitch. But, he stopped right away.

"Gracias,"-I called sweetly then ran, limped, to my room when I got a look at the clock. Damn and I started out early; fucking Sue! I shook my fist in the air pretending she could see me.

Once in my small ass box of a room, I grabbed that vomit inducing dress and screamed at it and threw it across the room for a little, just to make me feel better. By the time I was done and out the door I was ten minutes late, had to wear a hat my grandmother wouldn't wear to cover my hair, and had on a wrinkled, slightly torn dress, dragging my duct tape covered suitcase behind me. Oh joy I get to be me for another day.

AN: Hope you like! I was just watching the movie Holiday in Handcuffs and thought it'd be fun to do it with Jacob+Leah but with my twist of course. It's not very long and it's flowing nicely, thank GOODNESS my mojo is coming back, so I'll be posting as I finish each couple of chapters hopefully. I'm going to be out most of today, so I don't know if I'll be finished today, tomorrow or Monday but it'll be done soon, not much to it.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…or I'll make you kiss Charlie Sheen! Yeah I bet you're going to review now aren't you *evil laugh* If somebody is so gross & disgusting as Charlie Sheen it's no wonder & really pathetic if even Lindsay Lohan doesn't want to kiss you. She refused to kiss him in whatever show or movie they were filming b/c she said she doesn't know where his lips have been hahaha! I don't blame her. Do you know how many STDs you'd probably catch just from a peck on the cheek from him *shivers*