A/N: I hope you can guess what this based off of. 'Cause I don't. But, don't fret, there's a hint in the title. Written on my iPod.
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A piece for assorted lunatics written by That Gamer!
"Luna, can you show me how your dream walking thing works?" Nyx enquired, a pleadingly hopeful look on her face.
It was a lazy Tuesday afternoon. School had been closed for unknown reasons and Twilight, due to royal and Brony-related duties, was gone. Now, the rest of the Mane Six volunteered to watch Nyx, but Luna forced Twilight to pick her. Not wanting to upset somepony she didn't trust, Twilight hired Luna.
"What-eth about the Crusaders?" Luna asked back, leafing through a copy of How I Daring Did: An Autobiography. "We doth thought thou would be-eth with them."
"Nah... They don't want to play with me for some reason," Nyx explained with a heavy sigh. "I tried asking them when school was out, but they ran off before I could ask them anything."
"...Well, we cannot do-eth our dream walking now," Luna told Nyx, which prompted another sad sigh, "but we can tell-eth thou about a dream we once encountered."
Nyx gasped in excitement. "Really?!"
"Yes; of anypony you want," Luna, nodding, confirmed. "However, we shalt not reveal what this has to do with the pony personally, nor shall we dabble on anything too graphic."
Nyx thought hard and long about it for about three seconds before coming to a conclusion. "Mary Sue!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
"Mary Sue?" Luna was confused. "That black Alicorn OC from down-eth the street? Why her?"
"I dunno... I'm just curious," Nyx said. She shrugged and said, "Now tell me! Tell me!"
"Well, let me think..." Luna muttered. She took a few seconds to think about the dream. "We doth warn thou, it be-eth quite nonsensical. And, if thou shalt allow us to step outside of our Shakesperian manner of speaking for just a couple moments, allowing us to talk about the dream in the same way it would talk to-"
"Tell me!"
"Alright, alright... Here it goes." Luna took a deep breath and began...
Mary Sue sighed all content like to herself, stepping out into the frozen wasteland that was her home, instantly regretting it as frostbite groped the parts of Mary that weren't covered in parka, which was really her whole body. So M-rating.
"Nanook!" called Mary's mother, Self Insert, from inside her igloo. "No, no!"
I'm not going to acknowledge her, Mary thought, letting snow plaster up against her face.
"Don't be a naughty Eskimo!" Self Insert continued. "Save your money; don't go to the show!"
That's right, a few meters from Mary's igloo was, surprise of all surprises, a Wooden Tombstone show! Sadly, it was closed by a group of Brony guards claiming the reference was too meta, failing to realize that it was the OCs and not the actual people. But 'tis the nature of some creatures.
Well, Mary was going to have none of that. She turned and replied, with a vicious razor edge, cracking the nearby ice, "Ho Ho." And she proclaimed it again: "Ho Ho." And once more! She said: "Ho Ho."
And the Northern Gods, hearing this, decided she was worthy and had the Northern lights glow in her favour.
Obviously distressed by this, Ms. Sue shed a single. However, she still had some words of wisdom to spread about: "Watch out where the huskies to go!" she warned. "And don't you eat the yellow snow!" Not thinking Mary caught it the first time, she shouted once more, "Watch out where the huskies go! And don't you eat that yellow snow!"
Just about that time, wizard people, dear readers and assorted lunatics, a fur-trapper jumped up from behind Mary's igloo! It was none other then Fluttershy, having torn herself away from her trees and shed long enough to come other here and torment our heroine!
"Peekaboo!" Fluttershy cried in that way only a pony who was strictly from commercial could. She landed face-first on the ground and proceeded to ramble on about things she didn't know she was talking about.
However, that stopped quite quickly, Fluttershy deciding to instead start whipping on Mary's favourite baby seal, Gary! With a lead filled snowshoe! That rare kind you can only find if you can breathe easily enough. On his nose! And his fin! And his-
Sure enough, that sure got Mary peeved. So, in retaliation, she used MAGICK to reach down... To bend down... To scoop down a mitten-full (if she had been wearing any) of the deadly - wait for it - YELLOW SNOW! From right there where the huskies!
What was she going with such a weapon, you ask? Well I'll tell you! She was going to rub it in the face of Fluttershy, in a circular motion hither unknown to the ponies in this area and only used by Vikings in the earlier Tales generations, but destined to take the place of "Magical Mystery Cure" in your mythology- Here it goes! The fabulous circular motion! Here it is! RUB IT!
Unable to react to the blinding speed of Mary's magic, Fluttershy got a faceful of the deadly yellow snow! It was then when it started to get rubbed around and around in Fluttershy's face in the vigorous circular as mentioned before, creating a sort of guitar solo sound.
"Here Fido! HERE FIDO!" Mary laughed triumphantly, making the snow go even faster. But then, in a fit of anger, Mary stopped and pounced on Fluttershy, snapping all the bones in her body because Mary was a lot bigger then Fluttershy. Then she did it again! Mary broke the other half of the bones in her body!
"Great googly moogly!" was all Fluttershy got to say as Mary jumped up and down the chest of her.
She had injured Fluttershy the Maddeningly OOC Fur Trapper.
Now, Fluttershy was almost as upset as upset, as you could imagine. Though with all this idiocy I'm presenting to you, that's kinda hard. Anyways, she stood up. Realized she couldn't see. Yeah, it took that long for her to notice-
NOOO! AH CAN'T SEE! NOPE! ADICT!
Unfortunately for me, then, Mary grabbed a dog doo snowcone, freshly made with my own hooves, a stuffed in my right eye with a sickening splat! Then she did it with other eye, complete with it's own splat! And the doggy wee-wee- err, the husky wee-wee has blinded me! And I can't see!... Only temporarily, on the plus side.
So Fluttershy the Blind OOC Dirty Fur Trapper stood there for a moment, her wings fully erect because she didn't have any arms to spread. She was wondering to herself, "What can I do about my blind eye?"
It was at that precise moment when it came to her. Long ago, there was an ancient pony legend that stated, on whatever they had to write on back then, if your eye was blinded as result of being brought to justice by Mary, then, as a second punishment, you must go across the tundra, mile after mile... TRUDGING ACROSS THE TUNDRA, I say! Right down to the parish of St. Alphonso, formerly known as Cadence.
Hours later, Fluttershy arrived at St. Alphonso and stole all the margarine. Well, she didn't want any to confuse her for the condiment, now did she? But anything noble she did in an attempt to make up for her heinous crimes earlier were instantly negated when she not only wheedled on the Bingo cards, but also blew up the bathrooms that GLaDoS was attending to!
At that precise moment, I saw Discord make his entrance like a queen, acting totally chenille, followed by Rarity, the marine who survived that horrible pony war brought up that one time in Friendship Is Witchcraft.
So, after Discord entered, he immediately started using his magic to abuse the sausage patties.
"Why don't you treat me mean?!" Discord screamed at Rarity, who was helping Discord.
And that's what normally happens at St. Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast. Usually, there were more incidents involving the margarine, but it was all missing for some reason.
Meanwhile, in the back, Rainbow, also known as Mother Vivian O'Blivion was whipping up the batter. Bet you never knew she was a cook, eh? Well, she was, being all repentant to her frock, making pancakes for her flock of naturally gay mares.
However, she had forgot to watch the clock, because the night before, behind the door, Applejack, dressed up as a leprechaun, was stroking one of the many socks she had. She stroked it. It was setting her off in such a frenzy! She sang "Lock Around The Clock", off-key, of course.
So she topped it off with a... Um... Oh, dear, I've forgotten. So she stumbled on her [CENSORED].
For some reason, all the stroking Applejack had been doing made the top of the sock rip! But she was delighted, nonetheless.
"Oh, St. Alphonso would be proud of me!" Applejack sighed in delight. She fell on her back and went to sleep, being tired and all.
The sock then shot up the block.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders then popped up from out of nowhere, laughing their heads off and saying "Dominus vobiscum. Et cum spiritu tuo! Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes for Saintly Alphonso?!" before chanting "They're so light and fluffy white! We'll raise a fortune by tonight! They're so light and fluffy white! We'll raise a fortune by tonight! They're so light and fluffy and brown! They're the finest in the town! They're so light and fluffy and brown! They're the finest in the town!"
Then Twilight right out into the body, greeting Princess Celestia by saying, "Good morning, you highness!"
"I brought you your snowshoes!" sang a helpful choir from behind Twilight.
"Good morning, your highness!" Twilight greeted Luma this time.
"I brought you your snowshoes!" the choir sang again.
And that's all I have to say about that.
"... And that be-eth what I normally come across when it comes it dreams," finished a panting Luna. "Well, that be-eth a little stupid for our tastes, but y'know."
Nyx blinked and said, "Gee... That's... Kinda weird, all things considered. Is that really what Mary dreams about?"
"Of course it is, little me," Luna replied with a reassuring smile. "Would we doth lie about dreams to you?"
Now, Nyx was satisfied with that answer, as usual, but, as you would expect, that wasn't the case, for you see, that's what Plottie dreams about, those basically being the dreams Mary doesn't want. Now, what does Mary dream about? The world may never know... Unless you've heard "Cosmik Debris", which, in that case, oh...
"Will you tell me about the rabbits? What they dream about?" Nyx asked, being as hopefully as before hopeful.
"Maybe some other time," Luna answered. "We doth have-eth some other things to attend to, such as this story entitled ?!."
"?!?" Nyx repeated.
"Yes and it doth be-eth unpronounceable," Luna confirmed.
"That's silly," Nyx laughed. "Why would anypony name a story a symbol?"
Luna chuckled at the thought, too, before looking up at the title and saying, "Shut up, Nyx. Now, as I was reading..."
So Luna got back to reading her book. However, as she was doing that, Nyx slipped out and made her way across PonyVille until she reached Fluttershy's cottage, where she started to chuckle evilly.
"Oh, Flutters," Nyx whispered to herself, starting to change form and become more full of holes. "You and I are gonna have some fun tonight."
A/N: Well, that was a story. Hope you made some sense of it. Sincerely, bonum nocte et foruna.