Surrender
Authors Note: This is my first Bones story so hopefully this will work out. So basically this is going to be a multitude of one-shots based on songs off of my iPod. I put it in shuffle, and lucky me the first song up is Surrender by Billy Talent.
She reads a book from across the street,
Waiting for someone that she'll never meet.
Talk over coffee for an hour or two,
She wonders why I'm always in a good mood.
I parked my car across the street from the local coffee shop Bones and I usually had breakfast at. I could see her bent over a book, a novel maybe… no, no it was a file. Why was she reading a file?
I crossed the street, expecting her to look up and wave at me. That didn't happen. She looked up but didn't wave, or even smile, something was wrong. I opened the door and sat across from her, she stared intently at me.
"You alright?" I asked, she shrugged, "I don't know, Booth, tell me how you would feel if you heard there's a gravedigger copycat."
Killin' time before she struts her stuff,
She needs support and I've become the crutch.
She'll never know how much she means to me.
I'd play the game but I'm the referee.
"Kay, I'm done, I've got to catch this son of a bitch." Bones said getting up, I noticed her sleeping pills had fallen out of her purse. I also noticed the bottle was pretty full for being prescribed to her two months ago after the gravedigger case, anxiety had been keeping her up.
"Bones, your pills." I said after I picked them up, she was almost out the door. "Oh, damn." She muttered. She walked back to me and briskly grabbed the small bottle, it was like she wanted to get out as fast as she could. Now come to think of it, she probably did.
I grabbed her wrist and she turned away and she spun her head around, "Booth, let go." She said, pulling away from me, not that it helped her at all. "You're not sleeping, are you? I bet you're not even eating, what's going on Bones?" She shot me a look, a somewhat poisonous look. "Why would it even matter?" I shook my head, "Because I care about you and worry. You need me, Bones, ever since you were kidnapped."
Surrender
Every word, every thought, every sound
Surrender
Every touch, every smile, every frown
Surrender
All the pain we've endured until now
Surrender
All the hope that I've lost you have found
Surrender yourself to me
"You can talk to me, Bones, everything that happened in that car or even from when you were fourteen. I won't judge you, I never have, just please let me help you. Just surrender yourself, I won't hurt you."
I couldn't tell if she was going to hit me or cry, but I definitely did not expect what she did next. She put her face into my chest and I could feel her tears soak into my shirt. I had only seen her cry once before, but never this easily. And the fact she did let go so easily did scare me, but was comforting at the same time. I could help her, but it was still odd to see her so… vulnerable.
Even though I know what I'm looking for
She's got a brick wall behind her door
I'd travel time and confess to her
But I'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger
To be honest, I almost want her to finally break down, because I know there is no other way she'll actually willingly talk to me about the time she spent in that car with Hodgins. If I could go back to see what happened there, I would. But I know nothing like that is possible, and Bones would tell me the same if she wasn't sobbing into my shirt at the moment.
I think I found a flower in a field of weeds
I think I found a flower in a field of weeds
Searching until my hands bleed
This flower don't belong to me
I think I found a flower in a field of weeds
I think I found a flower in a field of weeds
Searching until my hands bleed
This flower don't belong to me
This flower don't belong to me
Why can't she belong to me?
Bone's composed herself and I walked her back to her car, she slipped in the front seat and kept the door open. I didn't want to leave her like this, but I didn't bother to ask if she wanted me to stay, she would say no.
I could keep asking and asking and looking for a way for her to open up until I bleed but it would never work. She wouldn't be mine to hold or talk to, she just wouldn't belong to me in that way.
(Surrender)
I never had the nerve to ask
(Surrender)
Has my moment come and passed.
(Surrender)
I never had the nerve to ask
(Surrender)
Has my moment come and passed.
(Surrender)
I never had the nerve to ask
(Surrender)
Has my moment come and passed.
(Surrender)
I never had the nerve to ask
About an hour after I let her drive away with that heartbroken look on her face I walked into the lab, and Angela practically attacked me.
"Where is Brennan? She was supposed to be here right after coffee with you." What? How did she know about that?
"Angela, how'd you know…" She cut me off, "Because, Booth, she enjoys that time with you every week and often let's me know if anything interesting happens. For a FBI agent you're clueless." She sighed and beckoned me to follow her, which I did.
"What do you mean by that?" Angels spun around at this, "Because she needs you, Booth. You're the one thing keeping her stable since the kidnapping, and we both know she isn't taking those pills."
"Oh no, Ange, I'm horrible. I let her leave the coffee shop, and she was shaking and…" I looked at Angela with what I'm sure was a look of sheer terror. "What would she do if she was alone and breaking down?" Angela shrugged and caught on to my distress, "The doctor said something about… oh no, Booth, we have to go."
"What, Angela? What did the doctor say?" Angela grabbed her keys and grabbed my forearm, "Self-harm, Booth. Cutting, overdose, or worse. And she left that coffee shop a shaking, crying mess."
We sped to Bone's apartment, both terrified, hoping that we were wrong. We weren't. The door was unlocked and it was silent. Which terrified me, then I heard the crying. It was coming from her bathroom.
I went to open the door but it was already half-open, and I never expected to see what I saw next. Bone's sat in the bath-tub with her head between her knees and her right arm extended over her right knee covered in fresh cuts.
"Oh Bones…" I muttered slowly walking over to her, she was still conscious and the minute she saw I was there she started crying again. Heartbroken, tortured sobs. "You're okay, Bones, your okay." I whispered over and over again, she threw her arms around my neck and kept crying.
That's when I realized, she was mine to hold, to take care off, and now to keep safe, from herself. She needed me, and I wasn't going to leave her.
Authors Note: I'm sorry Bones seemed out of character, but for this song I needed to excaudate the Gravedigger kidnapping. More to come soon, I hope you enjoyed this fic, it seems Booth realizes she needs him. Review please, constructive criticism welcomed.