Summary –

Bella moves to live with Charlie in her sophomore year of high school meets the Cullens and falls for Edward. Edward cheats on her with Rosalie and she breaks ups with him. She leaves for the summer and as luck would have it turns into the person he wants most.

DISCLAIMER - ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYERS.

STORYLINE BELONGS TO ME.

Prologue

I am different than other people, I have powers that I have not told anyone about and I don't know how I got them or where they came from. Sometimes they come in handy other times they just make me feel like a freak.

I met Edward and the Cullens in my sophomore year of high school; they were loners and so was I. I found out they were vampires by the middle of that school year and it didn't matter to me what he was, I was in love or at least I thought I was, before the end of the school year Edward and I were a couple. I didn't feel so alone anymore, but as with most things in my life we didn't last, however it was not for lack of trying on my part.

I always suspected there was something going on with them, Edward and Rosalie. I mean she is so beautiful and Queen like, but then there is also the added disadvantage that she was meant for him all along.

But because he dazzled me into loving him, NO let me be honest, I let myself be dazzled into believing him, because I loved him beyond reason and I didn't want to say no. He was my first love and I truly believed he loved me over her.

My other concern was for Emmett, loving, playful, loyally devoted Emmett. Does he even know; would he be as hurt as I am over their infidelity? Should I bother telling him just so someone else can be as hurt and disgusted as I am?

How could Rosalie treat him so callously like that? Did she even care that she was hurting Emmett with his teddy bear hugs and enormous ability to love someone?

Beyond looks, what could Edward possibly see in her – she's bitter, stuck up, overly in love with herself and her image, callous, malicious, and every other nasty word I can think of, she doesn't care about anyone else but herself. Her act of infidelity is completely shameful and she should be ashamed of herself for shattering the trust her husband and family has of her.

I can understand her wanting to hurt me because she's always been a bitch to me and now I completely understand why. She never made the effort to like me because I was in the way of her getting together with Edward. FUCKING BITCH!!! I hate her even more now.

So instead of confronting them about it I let it go, hoping against hope that he would MAN UP enough to tell me the truth. I mean I could honestly give a flying fuck about the skank, but him I trusted more than anyone, I trusted him beyond reason.

I didn't have any proof, so I let it go until I caught them together. I guess I just assumed that they both would be faithful to the relationships they were currently in, but I guess I just made an ass out of myself.

I think what hurts the most is that Alice knew and didn't say fucking shit to me, she's supposed to be my best friend and have my best interests at heart. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION that she's a fucking psychic and probably saw every single fucking time they fucked. I don't know if I can forgive her now or ever or if I even want to at this point.

I realize now the other thing that hurts the most – he was always shielding me, never wanting to go beyond the chaste kisses, no caresses, brotherly hugs, I guess that's what should have sent off red flags, his brotherly pecks on the cheek or forehead. Everything that he won't do with me, he's done with her. If he didn't even want me, why be over jealous of my friendship with Jake?

I would have forgiven him anything except catching them together in a compromising position that he would never allow me to be in, FUCK I already have a father, and I wanted a boyfriend.

Does he even care how much he's hurt me? Or is his selfishness still stuck up his ass?

Did I also mention how utterly over-fucking-protective he is? Not allowing me to do anything, always hovering, preventing me from doing the simplest of things.

Yes, I admit that I am clumsy, but give me a fucking break. I can drive my own self to school, I can take a shower by myself, I have taken care of myself for 17 fucking years without him in my life and I DON'T NEED HIM NOW!

Maybe that's why it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would, because I don't NEED him in my life, I WANTED him in my life.

How did I not see all of this before? Oh yeah, mother fucking LOVE blinded me, or at least what I thought was love, maybe it was just a heavy case of infatuation gone overboard along with his ability to dazzle me. I realize now, my self-esteem wanted to be dazzled into believing that I was actually worth someone else's time and effort. But no more, because that was not how I was raised and I refuse to be someone else's pawn in the game of fucked up love.

I'm finally stepping up and declaring myself – I don't need Edward to justify who I am, I was a real person before he showed up into my life and I will be an even better one when I get him out of it. Starting NOW!!!