A/N: Okay, so here's the dealio: I have no idea how to properly begin ANYTHING, so this thing just kinda starts in the middle of nowhere. So here's a tiny little background:

The main character is the first of many OCs, a young girl named Miyako Hyuuga, the bastard child of a member of the main branch (my story, so I get to mess up the canon however I want) and a mystery woman. She is (as you will later see) not how you would expect a Hyuuga to be. She entered the Academy at age 6. Her friends include: Rin Nohara, Obito Uchiha, Asuma Sarutobi, and Kurenai Yuhi. Miyako has a potty mouth. She is ten, at this point in the story. As you may have already guessed, this takes place before Naruto begins. That is all you need to know. This is my first fanfic, so expect it to be...sub-par.

I'm not entirely sure if there's going to be and non-canon romance or anything yet.

Also, several warnings: Some of the characters may have traits some might find offensive. I acknowledge that, so please give me minimal amounts of crap for this. This is, after all, kind of a crack fic.

ALSO also, the title is the name of a song by Skylar Grey. I thought it to be appropriate for this thing.

Updates will be at random, seeing as I am often possessed by writer's block.

Edit: I just changed the age Miyako and the other OCs graduated, mainly because I wanted them to stand out compared to the others just a little bit.

I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto and Hinata Hyuuga own Naruto. The song Slowly Freaking Out is written and performed by Skylar Grey (AKA Holly Brook Hafermann). I only own my OCs, my pillow, and a copy of V.

Please don't sue.

Honestly, I had originally planned on graduating a year later than I actually did, mainly so I could be placed in a team with people I actually liked. However, thanks to Obito and his big mouth (and 80 Ryou on the line), I took the graduation exam when I was eight.

And I passed with flying colors. At the top of my class. And 80 Ryou richer.

I was one of six people my age who passed when I did. Two of those people were going to be my teammates for the foreseeable future. I prayed to whatever god was in charge of ninja teams that I not be put in a team with total idiots. Hell, I even wrote a letter to Hiruzen Sarutobi, begging him to put me on a team with smart people. He never responded.

Kurenai had repeatedly assured me that everything was going to be okay. So much so that I almost believed her. Almost.

As soon as I entered the classroom where our teams were to be announced, my fear of dying surrounded by idiots resurfaced, mainly because of because of my minor superiority complex. I took a seat in the rear corner of the room and buried my head in my arms. I stayed like this for thirty seconds before Junko-sensei entered the room. All talking ceased immediately at her arrival. She cleared her throat, and without wasting any time, began reading off the teams. And before I knew it…

"Team Four will be Hyuuga Miyako, Uchiha Noboru, and Nara Shikayoshi-"

"YES!" My teammates weren't morons! I jumped out of my seat and raised my hands up in victory. About thirty heads turned toward me. I sat down right away, my face as red as a tomato.

Junko-sensei glared at me before continuing, "…and your Jounin instructor will be Uzumaki Saito. Team Five will be Yamanaka Inori…"

But I stopped paying attention. My team was fucking amazing. A Hyuuga, a Nara, and an Uchiha. Of course, Shikayoshi was a little above average intelligence at best, and Noboru was blind, and I was possibly the child of a prostitute and I have the stolen eyes of my father that he had illegally implanted into my head before he died for whatever jacked up symbolic shit reason he had because I wasn't born with the Byakugan because my mother was PROBABLY A HOOKER and most of the Hyuuga clan think of me as trash because my mom MIGHT HAVE BEEN A HOOKER and I totally definitely might POSSIBLY have a huge MINOR superiority complex because the only family I have is either dead or treats me like shit because THERE IS THE SMALL POSSIBILITY THAT MY MOTHER WAS A PROSTITUTE. I mean, you'd think that my dad would have set everyone straight or at least tell me, his own daughter, the identity of THE HUMAN BEING I CAME OUT OF.

"Ah. Miyako san."

"I'll tell you when you're older, Miyako," he said.

"When the time is right," he said.

"You don't need to know right now," he said.

AND THEN HE FUCKING DIED AND LEFT ME WITH HIS EYES AND A CHILDHOOD OF PAIN.

"Miyako-san?"

And then I found out that the Hokage knows the identity of my mother AND HE WON'T SAY ANYTHING EITHER.

"Miyako-san."

"I will tell you when you are older, Miyako-chan," he said

"I gave Hideaki-kun my word," he said.

"I promise I will tell you when you are ready," he said.

"Excuse me…"

BULLSHIT. I DESERVED TO KNOW AS SOON AS I LEFT THAT LADY'S VAGINA. BUT NOOOOOO! IT'S THE "LET'S NOT TELL MIYAKO SHIT" GAME! AND THEY ARE PLAYING WITH PIECES OF MY SANITY!

"Is she asleep?"

"Dude, she's talking to herself. She doesn't seem like the type to talk in her sleep."

"Try waking her up again."

"I have tried. Why don't you try?"

WELL I'M SICK OF PLAYING!

"She's banging her head on the desk, Noboru."

"Yes. I know. I'm blind not deaf."

"Oh for Kami's sake. OI! WAKE UP!"

I shot my head up and slammed my fist against the table. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Two very startled looking boys stared at me. It took me a few seconds to realize that they were my teammates.

Shit.

We Shikayoshi and I stared at each other in silence before Noboru spoke up.

"I'm sorry for scaring you. My name is Uchiha Noboru and this is Nara Shikayoshi. We're your new teammates."

We ate lunch together at a small restaurant near the academy. Noboru and Shikayoshi seemed nice enough.

Turned out that the only reason Shikayoshi stayed in the middle of the class was because he really hated attention. He wasn't used to it because he's always been in the shadow of his older brother.

I nearly choked on my rice when I found out who his brother was. "Shikaku Nara's your brother?! How the hell wasn't that a huge deal when we were in the Academy?"

The Nara shrugged. "I never brought it up, and neither did the teachers. But I think Nii-san had something to do with that."

"He probably blackmailed them or something," Noboru snorted between bites of isobeyaki. As soon as he got comfortable around me, Noboru dropped his stuffy, aloof, Uchiha persona to reveal his laid-back and slightly immature personality.

Shikayoshi chuckled, but didn't say anything. I noticed that he tensed slightly at the word "blackmail."

Then I remembered that it was a well-known fact that Shikaku was a genius and next in line to become clan head. And then it clicked.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

"Well that explains why Kaito-sensei always seemed to be afraid of you," Noboru said. "What happened?"

"Well…" Shikayoshi began.

Our kind, well-mannered, Kaito-sensei has been cheating on his wife on a weekly basis for the past seven years. He has six bastard children. Shikaku found out and confronted him about this information.

"…so Nii-san said that as long as Kaito-sensei keeps me out of the spotlight, he wouldn't tell his wife." Shikayoshi finished.

Noboru and I looked at each other I looked at Noboru and we both cracked up.

"Holy shit!" I laughed. "Kaito-sensei's a fuckboy!"

My statement made Noboru laugh even harder and fall on the ground, which in turn made me laugh, and at some point our laughing made Shikayoshi start laughing and then he fell on the ground too, and about a second later, I fell too.

Team Four spent about fifteen minutes on the ground giggling like crazy people.

I didn't realize at the time how crazy we actually were.

When we got back to the Academy, we were instructed to sit and wait for our Sensei to arrive. Slowly, Jounin instructors began to collect their teams until we were the only ones left in the classroom.

"He's late." Noboru stated.

"No," Shikayoshi stated. "Everyone's still early. We've still got thirty minutes until he's actually supposed to arrive."

Neither of us questioned how he had this information. He was a Nara after all. They knew shit.

"I've been wondering," I began. "Noboru-kun, how did you take all the exams at the Academy?" Because, you know, you're blind, were the unspoken words.

"Verbally," Noboru replied. "My cousin also helped me develop a sort of echolocation jutsu so that I'm not completely incompetent with target practice and sparring."

"Oh!" Shikayoshi exclaimed, as if suddenly remembering something. "Dude, were you born blind or did something else happen?"

I stepped on his foot. "Oh my god, Shikayoshi! You don't just ask someone why they're blind!"

Just as Shikayoshi opened his mouth to speak, Noboru shook his head.

"It's alright. We're teammates now, after all. I was born blind."

"See? He's fine with it," Shikayoshi said. "There's nothing-"

"My dad's my uncle," Noboru added, almost as an afterthought. It took me a second to register his words.

I choked on air and Shikayoshi kicked his chair in shock.

Noboru didn't seem fazed at all, almost as if he was used to that kind of reaction.

"YOU'RE AN INBRED?!" Shikayoshi yelled. I violently pushed him on the floor.

I looked at Noboru incredulously. "How the fuck did that happen?" I hissed.

He shrugged. "I have no idea. Didn't ask. Never wanted to."

I couldn't blame him, and I told him such. "Well, I'm not one to talk in the first place. My mom might have been a hooker."

This visibly shocked both of them.

"But you're a Hyuuga! Isn't that against your code or something?" Shikayoshi asked.

I rolled my eyes. "We don't have a 'code'," I think. "And I said she MIGHT be one. I don't know for sure."

"Why not? Don't you of all people have the right?" Noboru asked.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. "But Daddy Dearest thought otherwise. And then he died. And now the Hokage won't tell me anything either!"

He shook his head in disbelief. "That's beyond stupid. What's there to hide anyway? She's your mother for Kami's sake."

"I could ask Shikaku," Shikayoshi offered. "He's Jounin and probably won't have any trouble finding out."

I turned to face him, eyes wide in disbelief. "You would do that? Why?"

"Honestly? I'm just as curious as you," he said sheepishly. I rolled my eyes.

"That's a really shitty reason to help someone. I swear, this team…" I stood up as an idea popped into my head. "You know what? Fuck it. We've got fifteen minutes. Let's get all our issues out in the open before we meet our Sensei."

My teammates nodded in agreement, and Shikayoshi volunteered to go first.

"Uh, okay. Where do I begin… My name is Nara Shikayoshi, younger brother of Nara Shikaku. I have almost crippling social anxiety and I hate kids under the age of five. I'm severely bipolar, and today is a good day compared to most. When I was eight I broke a kid's fingers with my Shadow Possession because Kaito-sensei got angry at me a few minutes earlier for a totally unrelated reason. I'm shit at genjutsu, and sometimes I hear voices in my head."

I nodded respectfully. "Good. Noboru, you're next."

"I'm Uchiha Noboru. I'm blind due to complications at birth because my mother decided it was a good idea to hook up with her own brother, who happens to be my father. Some people show me contempt because I'm an inbred, and that leads to my eternal contempt towards my parents. I hate human beings because they are war driven lunatics who only think with their respective sexual organs. My greatest ambition is to properly assist in the destruction of a majority of the human race."

Shikayoshi nodded toward me. "Your turn, Miyako-chan."

I nodded. "Cool. My name is Hyuuga Miyako. My dad was going to be the next head of the Hyuuga clan, but he might have slept with a prostitute. Of course, nobody would have known about this if I wasn't dropped off at the gates of Konoha like a piece of trash. I wasn't born with the Byakugan which made me ten times more alienated than I was originally, and that led me to gain my superiority complex. Dad refused to tell me anything about my birth mother, which led to some serious trust issues. Then he got sick and died of cancer, but not before he had an old friend of his surgically remove my eyes and implant his Byakugan in my skull. Illegally. And then he died. And I got the stupid Caged Bird seal on my head. And then I entered the Academy because I'm gonna be Hokage and destroy the Hyuuga clan from the inside."

"Huh," Noboru pondered this for a moment. "I think Shikayoshi wins."

"Really? I thought Miyako was pretty fucked up," he said.

I shook my head. "Noboru wants to destroy humanity. He wins, hands down."

"Holy shit."

The three of us turn toward the source of the voice. Standing in the doorway is a young, red haired man with bandages covering one of his eyes. He wore the Konoha Jounin vest, which led me to one conclusion.

"Are you Uzumaki Saito?" I asked. It was a stupid question. Of course he is, I thought to myself. He has red hair. Mainly the Uzumaki clan has red hair.

Saito recovered from his moment of shock and nodded with a grin on his face. "That's right. My name is Uzumaki Saito and I'm going to be your team leader, dattebate!"

"Definitely an Uzumaki," Noboru muttered under his breath.

Shikayoshi snorted.

"It's nice to meet you, Sensei," I stood up and bowed. "My name is-"

"Miyako-chan. I know. I literally heard everything, 'ttebete. You guys are seriously fucked up," Saito interrupted. "Man, Kushina's gonna love you guys."

"Who's Kushina?" Noboru asked.

Saito waved off his question. "You'll find out soon enough. Your first mission starts now!"

"WHAT?"

"But we just met you!" I snapped. "We know nothing about you."

"Exactly!" he grinned. "All you need to do is find me without me sensing you. If you fail, you head back to the Academy. You succeed, I take you as my team. Of course, you do have the option to not try and find me, but what's the fun in that?" Saito's grin grew wider at our shocked expressions. "What, you didn't know that not everybody who graduates the Academy gets to be Genin, right?"

Yeah, no. Did not know that.

I looked at Shikayoshi, who seemed to be the only one who knew what was going on.

"Most of the time, after students graduate, their Jounin instructors decide to test them in a certain skill or skills. If the students fail the test, they will either be sent back to the Academy, sent to the Genin corps, or dropped from the program permanently," Shikayoshi spoke with a grim expression.

"That's right! Now, I'm going to go. You can either follow me or not. It's your choice as a team," He said. Saito disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving me and my new teammates alone in the classroom.

At this time, only two words came to my mind.

We're fucked.

"We need to follow him."

I stared at Shikayoshi in shock. "What do you mean we need to follow him? Are you crazy?"

"Yes. We all are," Shikayoshi replied. Well, he did have a point there.

Noboru sighed. "I'm with Miyako on this one. Saito-sensei is a Jounin. We just became Genin yesterday. Why do you think we need to follow him? Hell, what makes you think we can follow him?"

"I received solid information from an anonymous source-"

I face palmed. "Shikaku told you?"

He nodded. "I had to pay him 80 Ryou in exchange for that information. Saito wants us to follow him in order to test our tracking skills and stealth."

I shook my head. "Why the fuck does he want to test that?"

Shikayoshi paused. "Saito-sensei's an S rank assassin. In the bingo books it's flee on sight."

Holy. Shit.

"Holy shit," Noboru breathed. "The only other person with that status is-"

"Minato Namikaze, I know. They're best friends. That's mainly why they have the same status. But anyway, Shikaku says that Saito-sensei wants to test our impulses, which is important in being an assassin," Shikayoshi explained. "Apparently the Hokage got a letter that made him choose our team, although nobody knows the details."

My eyes widened. "He did? He actually got the letter?" Holy shit he got the letter. My comment was ignored however, as Shikayoshi made a hand sign and closed his eyes.

"Why did it get so silent? What are you doing?" Noboru asked. When he didn't get an answer, he asked me. "Miyako-chan, what is he doing?"

"He's thinking. I think it's a Nara thing," I explain. "It's best not to interrupt him." I had no idea what would happen if we did, and I had no urge to find out. The Nara clan could be hella scary if they're motivated. Almost as scary as an angry Aburame. I shuddered. No need to revisit that memory.

Shikayoshi opened his eyes. "Miyako-chan. How far is the range on your Byakugan?"

"Uh…three…kilometers…?" I vaguely remembered Hiashi-san saying something along those lines. It was hard to measure distance when it didn't apply to you.

Shikayoshi nodded and relayed his plan to us. He finished with a proud grin on his face.

Noboru looked confused. "B-but I can't-"

"Exactly."

I looked back and forth between Shikayoshi and Noboru. I smiled.

Horse, Tiger, Boar, Hare, Rat, Dog, Horse, Dog, Hare, Rat, Boar, Snake.

"Byakugan!"