"Thii2 2uck2 2o much." the green ghost sighed in angst, "Wwhy diid thii2 2hiit havve twwo happen twwo me?"
Erisolsprite was floating in a secluded corner away from the gathered trolls, both living and dead. Somehow the humans had brought a semblance of order to this dream bubble and managed to gather only the alpha timeline versions of each troll. Erisolsprite was both elated and disappointed. Elated at seeing his beloved Feferi Peixes again, but disappointed at what both of their descendants turned out to be like. One was a complete and utter douche that even the Eridan-half of the kernelsprite couldn't love, and the other was so fucked up in the head that the Sollux-half could only scream internally. Just their luck.
"Oh wwell." Erisolsprite sighed again, "At lea2t none a' the2e a22hat2 are tryiin' twwo talk twwo u2."
As if fate was pissing on them, Feferi walked over to Erisolsprite with a smile on her face. She stopped before Erisolsprite excitedly, with Karkat Vantas and the other half of Sollux Captor in tow.
") (-Ey guys!" Feferi greeted with a smile, "It's great to see you again."
"H-hey Fef." Erisolsprite blushed, smiling weakly. Both halves could agree on one thing, at least. As sudden as the warmth had passed, Erisolsprite returned to frowning and eyed the seadwelling princess with sorrow, "Ii'm 2tiill 2orry about that..."
") (e) (, don't worry about it!" Feferi waved it off as if death was of no consequence, which was sadly true, "I got over t) (at sweeps ago."
"Oh." Erisolsprite raised his eyebrows, smiling slightly, "Really?" Feferi nodded. Karkat spoke up next.
"I HONESTLY CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TWO HAVE STAYED TOGETHER THIS LONG. IT DEFIES ALL LOGIC." he laughed at their expense before turning to the living Sollux, "SOLLUX, ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T IN A BLACKROM WITH FISHDICK? IT'S THE ONLY PLAUSIBLE REASON HALF OF YOU COULD STAY WITH HIM, HATING, FOR SO LONG."
"Fuck y0u KK." Sollux scowled. Another troll began to approach and Erisolsprite felt his eyes drawn towards her. He broke out into a sweat.
"Oh 2hiit." the kernelsprite said.
"Hello..." Kanaya Maryam tilted her head in confusion, "Exactly What Are We Calling This Abomination?"
"Eris0lsprite, apparently." Sollux informed the jade-blooded troll.
"So I Was Right. Eridan Is In There." Kanaya gave a weird smile that made Erisolsprite whimper.
"Hey Kan." the sprite greeted with surprising composure, "Howw'2 iit been?"
"It's Been Well Enough." Kanaya tilted her head, offering a more knowing smile, "Though The Stomach Aches Haven't Died Down Much."
"Uh..." the sprite began avoiding eye contact, fear evident on his face, "About that. Kan, you knoww Ii'm 2orry about that, riight? Wwell, only half a' me. The dumba22 half that thought iit'd be good to 2hoot you through the 2tomach wiith a fuckiin' wwand. A wwand you gavve hiim, twwo."
Erisolsprite was on the verge of rambling, clearly unnerved with this confrontation. Although Kanaya seemed oblivious to the awkwardness, Feferi and Karkat kept exchanging distressed looks while Sollux merely cringed. Gog, was this turning into a humiliating fiasco.
"And noww Ii'm telliin' my2elf twwo 2hut up before Ii embarra22 my2elf anymore, but Ii can't 2eem to quiit talkiin'!" Erisolsprite laughed - actually laughed - nervously, "Gotta 2ay, Kan, you're makiin' quiite the impre22iion on me."
"You Seem Distressed, Eridan." Kanaya noted, still smiling, "Would You Please Cut It Out?"
Erisolsprite started sparking slightly, shaking rapidly for a few moments after that comment. Karkat rolled his eyes and groaned at the terrible pun. Someone really should keep her away from the blonde humans and their antics. Sollux, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing. That was gold. Feferi merely watched the interaction, unsure what to make of it.
"IS THIS REALLY THE TIME FOR FUCKING JOKES, KAN? THE POOR GUY SAID HE WAS SORRY." Karkat growled, reluctantly defending his once-friend.
"Relax KK." Sollux wiped a mustard tear from his eye, "This is c0medy g0ld right here."
"Wwaiit, wwhat happened to our quiirk?" Erisolsprite turned half of his attention towards talking to Sollux but was interrupted by Kanaya.
"I Thought We Were Having A Pleasant Conversation, Eridan?" she asked, a little offended to be ignored.
"Plea2ant ii2n't the wword Ii'd choo2e, Kan." Erisolsprite said, quickly turning to face Kanaya and then Sollux.
"Sollux, w) (en are we going to ) (ang out again?" Feferi asked, looking between Sollux and Erisolsprite to address both halves.
"I dunn0." Sollux shrugged, "I haven't been feeling wh0le. Figured I'd still just m0pe ar0und."
"Wwhat?!" Erisolsprite all but screeched, "Howw can you ju2t put off your mate2priit liike that? 2hut up, lowwblood! Ii'm tryiin twwo talk twwo Kan ovver here! Fuck my liife! Thii2 ha2 gotta be 2ome 2iick punii2hment!" The sprite began glowing and sparking more frequently while clutching his head. The other trolls backed away, slightly unnerved.
"Sollux, calm down!" Feferi tried to soothe her matesprit's ghost half.
"What are y0u talking ab0ut, Fef? I feel fine." the living half of Sollux said, oblivious to the conflict.
"Eridan, You Should Try Relaxing." Kanaya continued smiling mischievously, "Maybe You Should Cut Back On The Faygo?"
"OH MY GOG, KANAYA, STOP IT. IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY HOW YOU USED THE SAME PUN TWICE." Karkat facepalmed. Why were all his friends so stupid? He expected it from Sollux, but Kanaya? Not for the first time he regretted Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider teaching them the ways of "human sarcasm".
"Sorry Karkat, But This Is Fun." Kanaya laughed at Eridan's distress, "And I Don't See What You're All Getting So Worked Up About. The Worst That's Going To Happen Is that They'll Be Separated."
As if to prove her point, Erisolsprite Erii2ploded right then and there, knocking all the trolls off their feet and earning interested stares from the other gathered players. As the smoke cleared, Eridan sat up, clutching his head, cringing. Sollux was also clutching his head, grumbling in pain. He removed his blind glasses and revealed his half-blindness, half-dead appearance. Eridan stood up and stretched, his white eyes taking in the various trolls and humans.
"So... Wwhat the fuck did I miss?" he asked, still a little groggy from the separation.
"What diid y0u miiss?" Sollux also stood up, shaking his head, "N0thiing, y0u iidii0t! Iit's been liiterally two sec0nds siince the separatiion!"
"Wwell, fuck you too!" Eridan growled, getting into Sollux's face. The two of them began insulting each other and pitifully slapping one another. By this time the other trolls had sat up.
"FUCKING. CALLED. IT." Karkat laughed, "THAT'S A BLACKROM IF I EVER SAW ONE."
"Fuck y0u, KK!" Sollux yelled, "Iit's n0t my fault wh0 Ii hate!"
"Oh, Sol!" Eridan blushed in the middle of the fighting.
"Shut up! G0g, Ii liiterally can't stand you!" Sollux growled, hitting harder.
"LET'S TEAR THEM APART. THIS IS MAKING ME SICK." Karkat suggested, sticking his tongue out in disgust. Feferi and Karkat took hold of Sollux, calmed him down and walked him away from the violet-blooded troll. Eridan, still blushing and happy to have a quadrant filled again didn't notice that he was alone with Kanaya until she was right behind him.
"I've Often Wondered If Dead Trolls Bleed." she mused out loud. Eridan tried to inch away but felt her arms wrap around him.
"Kan, you're sendin' me some mixed signals." Eridan whimpered again.
"What's The Matter, Eridan~?" Kanaya asked in sing-song, "Don't You Want To Help Me With My... Experiment?"
"Oh Cod!"
The rest of the trolls turned away, choosing it was best to ignore what was taking place in the back of the conference room. Each of the humans rubbed the backs of their heads awkwardly, except for an intoxicated Rose Lalonde who gave her friend a WONK* of approval.
"Tha's how ya getta man ta forgive ya!" she declared with a raise of her glass, earning a disapproving glare from Roxy.
"Mom, what are you talking about?" Roxy asked, confused at her mother's continued drunken antics.
"Kan-Kenya axed me to help her overcome harsh feels with Erid- Erip- The fish guy." Rose began with some trouble, smiling like an idiot, "So I gave her my advish!"
"Advice?" Roxy asked for clarification.
"The moonshiner over here told her gf to get shit-faced before confronting the hipster douchebag's ghost." Dave explained, smirking, "I'm surprised she's not jealous, actually."
"Dav, you know we broke up!" Rose reminded her brother with a frown and an overly dramatic wave of the arm that spilt some liquor.
"My name's not Dav, and no. You didn't tell me that." Dave corrected her, "Is that why you're drinking more than usual?"
"Nona that mattersh now!" Rose declared, "I've moved on!" she rapped her arms around her nearest friend, "I'mma with Eggbert now!"
"I say!" Jake English exclaimed, startled at the sudden embrace. Dave facepalmed.
"This is embarrassing, Rose." Dave pinched the bridge of his nose, "You need help. You're so hammered right now, you can't even tell you're hugging Jade's grandpa."
"Should I be jealous..?" John Egbert asked, as confused at the situation as everyone else.
"I have t9 warn all 9f y9u that this is very triggering, especially t9 th9se wh9 have-" Kankri Vantas began but was cut off by collective moaning.
"Karkat! Get your ancestor to shut up, please!" Vriska Serket buried her head in her hands, groaning in frustration. Several other trolls chorused in agreement.
"N9w wait just a minute here!" Kankri began, but was cut off by more aggressive protests.
Before long, everyone was in an argument or some similar struggle. Rose was still latched onto a now-panicking Jake while Dave and Roxy tried to pry her off of him. Cronus Ampora, amidst it all, was hitting on and striking out with nearly everyone in the group. Within the hour, They agreed to break for recess and clear their heads before they all re-killed each other. Rose had passed out by this time, but Kanaya had disappeared with Eridan. No one else really cared.
"Kan!" Eridan pleaded weakly, "Cod, I said I wwas sorry! Wwhat else do you wwant?!" Kanaya shoved the seadweller to the ground. He landed on his back with a grunt and tried to scramble away, but was pinned by Kanaya resting on top of him. If he wasn't so panicked, he might have noticed she was straddling him.
"I'm Not Really Sure What I Want." Kanaya admitted, clutching Eridan by his chin and analyzing his features with half-glazed eyes, "I Thought I Wanted To Forgive You."
"Wwhy don't you, then?!" Eridan asked, violet tears falling down his face in streams. He had completely lost all semblance of composure.
"I Don't Know." Kanaya shrugged. She continued looking at his face before moving in closer and licking up a few of his tears. Eridan's breath hitched in his throat, his mind figuratively imploding at what was happening. When Kanaya pulled away she was crying as well, jade tears spilling down her face, "I Think The Reason I Wanted To Forgive You Was So We Could Be Friends Again, So We Could Talk Again. But After What You Did... I Want To Forgive You, But It Feels Too Wrong."
"Kan..." Eridan managed out, his voice flat from shock.
"So I Drank Some Of Rose's Soporific Beverages - "Moonshine", As Dave Calls Them - To Work Up The Courage To Forgive You." Kanaya continued, ignoring Eridan, "But The Drink Must Be Affecting Me Strangely. Part Of My Wants To Kill You, But Another Part Of Me Wants To..." She trailed off but started back up, "And I Think I Only Want To Because Of How Pathetic I Feel Right Now. And You're The Only One As Pathetic As Me."
Eridan neither minded nor disagreed with the insult, especially since he was distracted by Kanaya moving in close to his face again. At the last second she turned her head downwards and Eridan felt himself heat up at the feeling of her warm breath on his neck. Her lips were mere milimeters from his flesh, so close he could feel the electric tingle of their presence. His face was flushed purple, his blood flowing from the excitement and confusion of this whole series of events. Her breathing became more rapid as his blood flowed, but she hesitated before making contact with his neck. She hovered there, and Eridan could feel the coolness of her tears, tears of internal confliction and confusion, falling on his flesh. He smiled weakly, moving a ringed hand up to her head and running it through her hair.
"It's alright, Kan." he assured her, "I'vve been sharin' a body wwith Sol for the last feww years, remember? I knoww about your... habits."
Kanaya stopped, her breath hitching as she fought back a sob, "I'm Not Sure Why, But Ever Since I Saw You Today, I've Regretted Killing You." she paused, sniffling, "I Think It Might Be My Selfishness. You And I Are A Lot Alike. We Both Loved Our Moirails As Matesprits, And Both Had Our Hearts Broken By Them And Lost Our Moirails In The Process. And We Haven't Had Much Luck In Any Quadrant Since."
"Until today." Eridan said, referring to his newfound Kismesissitude with Sollux.
Kanaya nodded slightly, steeling herself, "Until Today." she agreed.
A split-second later she bit down with such force that Eridan lurched. Kanaya's arms wrapped around him, securing his thrashing form while violet blood filled her mouth. It was strange. It tasted lofty and rich, but also salty like brine. It reminded Kanaya of a walk on the beach. There was also a subtle undertaste that surprised her, a flavor that reminded her of the past. Even though it was a painful past and filled with death and loss, the nostalgia of it and the emotions it stirred within her made the flavor even more intoxicating. She sobbed into Eridan's neck, lapping up his violet vitae and massaging the puncture marks with her tongue. She sat back, utterly refreshed and sobering up. Eridan was in her arms, paler but smiling like an idiot and drooling. She gently laid him down and rolled onto her side beside him, one leg still draped over his, one arm still on his chest.
"You Always Were My Favorite Flavor." Kanaya laughed bitterly, "Another Selfish Reason For Wanting You Back, I Suppose."
"Kan," Eridan managed to speak, turning his head towards the troll that had just got through using him as a juice-box, "please quit pissin' on yourself. It's vvery unbecomin' a' you. You aren't selfish for wwanting to forgivve me. You're stupid."
"What?" Kanaya shot back up, straight out of her pity party and glared at the seadweller.
"I killed Fef, almost killed Sol and tried to kill you, too." Eridan began, "Let's not evven mention the fact I killed off our entire species by blowwin' up the matriorb. And you're here, fuckin' forgivvin' me? That's not selfish; it's just bein' too kind, wwhich I think is stupid a' you."
"So You're Saying I Shouldn't Forgive You?" Kanaya asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I wwouldn't." Eridan laughed, weakly from blood loss, "But if you do... It'd put my mind at ease to knoww that - evven though I'm an ass an' committed genocide an' killed our friends - at least one of them forgavve me."
"I Believe Feferi Has Forgiven You." Kanaya smiled, hoping her subtle joke would go well.
"That'd be no surprise." Eridan rolled his eyes but smiled, "She's evven nicer than you. Plus, I think she doesn't mind bein' dead." Eridan looked away from Kanaya in a pitiful attempt to hide his blush, "Besides, I meant a specific troll forgivvin' me."
Kanaya's smile widened and she began to lounge on Eridan, making him stir uncomfortably. "Oh? And Which Troll Would That Be?" she asked, breathing into Eridan's drying wounds to make him even more uncomfortable. Only one other troll had ever made him react this way before, and she took it as a good sign.
"Y-you knoww damn wwell wwhich troll." Eridan stammered. She was toying with him! Good grief, and after he put his heart on the line, too.
"I Do." Kanaya admitted, "But I Want To Hear You Say It."
Eridan blinked, "Wwhat?" He turned his face around to see Kanaya mere inches from his face. Her lips, stained violet with his blood, hovered close to his ear, a mere flick of the chin away from his lips. She spoke softly, her clipped accent ennunciating every syllable.
"Say My Name."
Eridan broke into a sweat. "K-Kan-Kanaya Maryam!" he got out, stammering like a fool.
Kanaya's lips brushed against his, a short playful peck that melted his innards and nearly re-opened his wounds with how fast he began pumping blood. It was as if the world had lit up for a brief and instantaneous moment. His head whited out and when he snapped back to reality, he was surprised that less than a second had passed and was desperate for more bliss. Kanaya was now on top of him, straddling him again. He bit his lip to try to regain some self-control.
"Th-that wwasn't much of a rewward." he stammered.
"Perhaps It Wasn't A Reward But An Accident Brought On By Me Shifting Positions?" Kanaya playfully suggested, though Eridan's blushing scowl showed he wasn't amused, "Or Perhaps I Simply Can't Control Myself When You Say My Name Like That."
Eridan blinked. "Kanaya Maryam?" he repeated, questioningly. Kanaya immediately moved in close for a kiss, but stopped short.
"Surely You Can Say It With More Strength Than That, Ampora?" she asked, every word a butterfly kiss of breath battering against his quivering lips. He immediately tried to repeat himself but his voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he tried again.
"Kanaya Maryam." he breathed out huskily, his wavy accent carrying the words like an ocean breeze through a desert.
This time Kanaya's lips made full contact and lockedwith his in something like a press. Eridan tilted his head in concert with Kanaya to get a deeper kiss, enjoying the flavor. It was his blood on her lips and in her breath, yes, but it had blended with her own jade saliva, a down-to-earth flavor that maintained a certain class and set the mind alight. It was refreshing, almost like mint. It stimulated everyone of his senses, charging his body with energy. He placed jittery hands on her shoulders, clutching her and feeling the softness of her grey flesh. She likewise placed her thinner hands onto his chest, groping through the shirt to feel the muscles underneath. It wasn't like he was ripped, or anything even close, but he wasn't flabby either. It was like what the humans referred to as Heaven, but Eridan had to break the kiss off.
"Wwhat are wwe?" he asked, wistfully.
"What Do You Mean?" Kanaya asked, both breathless and surprised from how suddenly the kiss broke off.
"I mean wwhat the hell are wwe?" Eridan repeated, "Are you just doin' this 'cause you're fuckin' inebriated or 'cause of you need a pick-me-up after such a shitty run so far?"
"Does It Matter?" the jade-blood asked.
"Cod yes, it does!" Eridan shouted, but then mulled it over, "I mean, I guess it doesn't... not really anywway... But I just need to knoww howw you feel about me. I wwant to knoww if wwhat wwe're doin' right noww is just a fling or if you're actually, y'knoww, runnin' flushed for me."
Kanaya sat there, mouth agape slightly in surprise. She had forgotten that Eridan wasn't just an ass. Most people tended to forget that. Sure, he wouldn't turn down a free pailing; he was desperate to get laid, after all. But he didn't like mind games or to be led on. He was looking for something more than just a quick fuck; he was looking for a relationship. Someone to actually love him, not just physically, but emotionally. After his break-up with Feferi and Vriska, he had spiralled into a desperate search to fill his qudrants, hitting on anything that moved, and it had earned him a reputation as a horndog. Kanaya realized the truth, of course; no one loved him. She had tried to help him stand back on his feet, tried to respark his confidence, but he had abused those powers and gone mad with them, acting out in rage against those he loved, regardless of what quadrant that love was in.
She placed a hand against his cheek. "I Love You, Eridan Ampora." Kanaya assured him, "And I Desperately Wish Things Had Gone Differently, But At The Same Time, I See The Positive Changes Events Have Brought Out In You, Changes That Would Only Reinforce Our Relationship And, Ironically, Keep Us Apart."
"Kan, that wwas probably the most beautiful thing I nevver understood." Eridan admitted, lips trembling slightly.
"Just Kiss Me Already." Kanaya ordered and the violet-blood obeyed.
Hours later the group of alpha versions had met back up and finished their business. It wouldn't be much longer before the living awoke from the dream bubble and left their dead friends behind for another day at least. There was actually little to no guarantee they'd ever meet again. As such, everyone was saying their goodbyes.
"I d9 regret having t9 say g99d6ye s9 s99n, and I ap9l9gize if it triggers y9u in anyway, 6ut I h9pe we'll see each 9ther again s99n..." Kankri lectured more than bid farewell to his annoyed dancestor.
"It was cool seeing you guys again." John waved to his troll friends.
"Yeah, well it was cool seeing you again, too." Vriska waved back.
Similar farewells were taking place throughout the crowd. Sollux saying farewell to his beloved Feferi, for one, and a passing grudge remark to Eridan as well. ARquiussprite trying to apologize to Nepeta as another example. Terezi hugged Vriska, and they had a heart-to-heart that was very touching but irrelevant to this story. The touching goodbye that is relevant to this story takes place a little further away from the other goodbyes, where Kanaya and Eridan stood, embracing one another.
"Kan, I don't knoww wwhat to say." Eridan tried but failed to be creative, "I feel like an idiot for killin' you an' evverythin' else."
"It's Quite Alright, Eridan." Kanaya smiled, placing a hand on the seadweller's cheek reassuringly, "You Had To Do It Anyway."
"It seems cruel that wwe havve to be separated like this." Eridan laughed bitterly, clinging to her hand, "Like wwe finally find happiness and one a' us is dead. Great fuckin' joke, universe."
"We'll See Each Other Again Soon." Kanaya assured her new matesprit, "I'm Sure Of It."
"I hope so." Eridan said.
Kanaya brightened at the joke he was oblivious to. It was like a burnt-out candle had been re-lit and given fresh life, fresh hope. Kanaya leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, moving her arms to fit around his shoulder and back. Eridan hugged her back, deepening the kiss. They broke after a moment.
"I Have To Go Now." she informed her dead lover.
"I knoww." he acknowledged with hurt in his eyes, "Come back soon, though, alright? You make me a better person. Like, not in a cheesy wway. I'm pretty sure you make me a better person in some scientific kinda wway I can't explain."
"I Will, I Will." Kanaya placated him, "I'll Return To My Prince. I Trust That You'll Stay True To Me?"
"Wwhat kind of question is that? A' course I'll stay true to you!" Eridan exclaimed, "I'vve nevver betrayed a quandrant, and I'm not about to start today. Granted time is fuckin' meaningless in here."
Kanaya laughed before giving a quick peck on the cheek to her matesprit. "See You In My Dreams." And with a wave and a smile, she and the rest of the living were gone. Eridan was left alone. And yet, after everything he had been through, he knew he could weather the wait out until she returned to him, and he knew she'd stay true to him.
He dared to hope again. To hope for her.