Seppuku (切腹)
"«Like a fossil tree
From which we gather no flowers
Sad has been my life
Fated no fruit to produce.»"
-"Death poem composed by Minamoto Yorimasa immediately before his act of seppuku in the Byodo-in temple of Uji."
Youki's POV
"What is a man for you, Mother?"
"Son of mine, had I expected less of you, I would not have been this unsettled." She garbled, earsplitting enough for him to regard, his garroted breathing could be only professed by the distressed wind.
Brave cerulean eyes intensified its focal point on the russet haired woman ahead.
"Will you condemn me?"
My breathing became a glitch of air.
"I believe in honorable proscription, Ranma"
"Might you be sentient perception is at unrest when it comes to reason"
She smiled wretchedly at her only child, "Being so shrewd will not help you."
His hand tightened in a treacherous fist, "What will Mother? What could have helped me? Being a man is not my virtue as your utters were heeded by ancestry, I would have defected one way or another."
"Understand child of mine, had you-"
"Had I not loved him, would I've been a man?" Ranma's eyes steeled in sheer determination, but his internal havoc was clear to me. "The forebear will not forgive Mother! Understand, what Mother?! Would I have been praiseworthy, shall you forget I also depict weakness Mother? Would you have been contented? Would I have been a good husband, mother?!"
Ranma would not show any signs of brittleness, though my chest felt derelict at the obvious state he was struggling in, his cobalt zealous eyes portrayed grief, his jaw seemed tight in steep resentment and his hands trembled in what I assumed was dread.
"Would you have been proud, mother?"
My eyes widened in flabbergast, by no means had I anticipated such a rejoinder from her.
"Yes, Ranma." She subsequently closed her eyes and a cold sigh escaped her undaunted incidence.
His teeth could be seen as they gritted in anger but the defeat was an unusual trait his aching eyes were bathed in. I cringed as my tears fell. One by one, the rain could dance with my distress in an everlasting swirl I would not urge to stop.
Hiding behind the Uji, I could only watch the vindictiveness and cruelty the surroundings had developed for me, I stifled a sob.
Had I know the promises he had in forgoer of honor, I would have set his leashes free, I would have not sacred our bodies under the moon's heritage, I would have not gripped tightly at his Gi anytime I needed to fondle our bodies together, I wouldn't have let him love me.
Not even if my body twisted in pain.
In longing.
In Emptiness.
In love.
I would have seen him with another woman, I would have seen him dressed to be the faultless shielding husband he should have been, I would have seen him happy, I would have seen him promising an elongated life to his woman, to his children.
Now here he was, between the chastising line of dishonor and death, which I knew that for him it was sensibly the same and my heart busted in pain as the disembowelment started.
"Now son of mine," My heart quivered, she proceeded "You know what you have left could only be your honor, and that my child, will be disputable, I condemn you and your don Genma, to practice Seppuku, as he promised you would, if you were to fail my standards."
She continued and he had to bow in accordance, my heart clogged "Ranma, this ritual of disembowelment, It carries with it all the ethics set forth in bushido and is performed to redeem oneself in times of failure or hardship. You are well educated now child."
She took an old steel Katana from her obi and without hesitation; she extended her arms to hand it over. "Son, this is the destiny you chose, to accomplish will be what you can seek for redemption-"
"Be my memory clear, if I will die Mother. I will die in terms of honor. Mother, I won't be going from this earth without letting you now that if I had a second chance, I would do exactly the same."
"Might the Gods forgive you son." Perspiration made its presence in my forehead, as frosty as the rain my hands trembled in agony; I could feel the tears blazing my discolored skin.
"Might as well mother, I will die to show you I believe in what I did, I will die because he`s worth it, because there is no honorable path I would have taken, and I loved, mother. I knew what love felt like."
Nodoka just stared, "Son, had this feeble boy been a woman, I would have ascended to resolution. Child, may you know I won't ever get an answer, but child, why?"
"I loved him, and mother, I still do and I am sure, when I get to close my eyes and the blade breaks my skin, I am sure I will love him more, because he will be the absolute reason for what I die for and the only reason I ever even lived."
"Son" She breathed but she never proved empathy, I gripped my heart through the layers of skin I wish disappeared. "I will leave you for the rain to judge, might you find solace in the young boy you desired, he is here."
My eyes widened but Ranma didn't seem surprised, "I acknowledge mother, do leave me with him, my face won't see the daylight, for that I promise."
"I don't have any other option than to believe your paltry sense of prestige"
"Don't you dare mother, will not be daylight and the breeze will still hit when my body falls limp in a thickset pool of my own blood. I will be dead before the rain stops, the moon will be up and bright, now mother please leave him to love me one more time."
"Be this sinful lust you two share your apotheosis in oblivion and your endless limbo."
"Might it be, your ancestors will hear you."
She bowed in respect and left.
...
His knees trembled and after a second I heard his knees gave up on him, on this feeble position I heard him gasp.
I couldn't move, the rain fell grave down the stoned streets, I was still behind the lofty stone that covered my entity, I felt my back sliding down, but I didn't care. I hugged my knees to my chest and all I could feel was a heavy ardor in my chest.
Had I done this? Had I led him here?
"Youki..."
I couldn't stop lamenting, each tear caused conflagration on my skin and the salt incorporated my mouth in a pang of bitterness I never thought I would taste.
After all, he had accepted her castigation and I knew that if there was something he truly believed, it had to be in the consecrations that valued honor, Ranma forfeited honor as an instance of life and if his mother had obliged him to commit Harakiri, my Ranma would accept it. As he literary did.
After all, his father promised her, if he came to her not being the man she wanted, he would be fated to her hand.
"Ranma…" I sobbed but my incidence was still hidden between the unholy drips of rain, all I could do was immerse in the pessimism of my own thoughts, how dares she, disregard Ranma as a man, for the sole thought of loving me.
But Ranma, Ranma was a man, a proud one, a honorable one, the most attractive man on earth, the most devoted and tender lover, the most loyal friend, the most disciplined, the most regimented, clean and trustworthy man my existence ever crossed paths with. A man, a gorgeous man in all its grandeur and still, it would never be enough for her.
"Youki." Almost a command, his voice still sounded soft.
"c'mmere Youki..." He muttered again, I didn't know how it happened, but I found myself on his arms, tightly secured in the warm place that was his chest, his strong arms encircled me in protective jealousy.
The rain drenched us to show off we were so very much alive and I couldn't help but cry.
"S'okay Youki..." He whispered. "Will be fine..."
"No, please Ranma...I am so sorry."
"Nah s'okay, not your fault" His face buried in the crook of my neck, I compelled his trembling body, for that I could feel his sweat between all the rain drops, for they were warm and all I knew is that Ranma broke the fright one would feel before dying.
"No, Please, Ranma please…." My entreaties were direct, his eyes closed and he understood what I was asking for.
For the first time in our instance of loving each other, he would not be able to give me what I wanted, what I needed, for I needed him to be here, eternal and alive, alive let this be far but alive anyways, he just kissed my cheek, and whispered that the rain would subside soon.
Please, let this be a dream
Please let me escape with you.
No, don't leave me alone.
Please, don't let me rot without you.
Ranma, please.
Please I'm on my knees.
Forget about honor.
Please don't be so bolshie please...
Please don't ask me to look at you.
If you are scared of dying, leave it, don't leave me.
I am scared.
I won't leave you to die alone, I promise.
I am still here.
Ranma I am still here, feel me I am here.
Don't let that blade touch your skin.
Ranma that sounds awful.
I won't run away.
I'll take your hand, I promise.
Is that blood, Ranma.
Please.
I promise.
Don't let it bleed.
Don't stay quiet.
Please speak.
Look at me one more time.
Just once.
Don't tremble.
Don't you dare say goodbye to me.
Don't get cold.
Don't get limp.
Ranma.
I know you are not here anymore.
But please...
Please say something.
Please speak.
Please speak.
Please speak.
Please let me follow you.
Let me touch you one more time.
If you can't be here.
Let me follow you.
I will follow you.
I am following you.
The rain hasn't stop yet.
OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO
Thank you for reading:
AN/ This is entirely AU, I took Rumiko´s characters from Ranma ½, Ranma, Nodoka and Genma, for Youki he is an OC.
For the ones that didn't know:
Seppuku 切腹"stomach- or abdomen-cutting," is a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment. Seppuku was originally reserved for samurai. Part of the samurai bushido honor code, seppuku was used either voluntarily by samurai to die with honor rather than fall into the hands of their enemies (and likely suffer torture) or as a form of capital punishment for samurai who had committed serious offenses, or performed because they had brought shame to themselves. The ceremonial disembowelment, which is usually part of a more elaborate ritual and performed in front of spectators, consists of plunging a short blade, traditionally a tantō or katana, into the abdomen and drawing the blade from left to right, slicing the abdomen open.
OOOOO
Canonically Speaking, Nodoka, Ranma's mother, made Genma promise Ranma and he would perform Seppuku if Ranma were to not become the man Nodoka envisioned him to be, part of his canon fear for her comes to this, Being Ranma very strict about honor, her red-hair woman curse would prorogue Nodoka to oblige him to comply if he were to ask her, which he admitted he of course would.
In this fic, Ranma performed it. Exactly as depicted, this is due to the homosexuality hinted in the story. Since a "man" should be a man of house, being homosexual is major dishonor, leading a man to stop being a complete man, this reeled Nodoka's upsetting decision.
If you didn't understand, she just asked him to accomplish what was promised since for her, Ranma was not a complete man, or at least the man she wanted him to be, she left Ranma and Youki alone and Ranma being as stubborn as he is, couldn't be stopped.
For what happened with Youki at the end, I might assume you guys understood what happened, but if you didn't, I will leave it there.
Also, CANONICALLY SPEAKING, Ranma-kun is VERY respectful towards Nodoka, Mother with capital "M" was referred to a matriarchy in its highest level, and it would be in shows of respect that Ranma used Mother not mother (if you understand about tones, the tone is what it counts.) He is very formal and very serious for the explained above. Capital M for respect, m is more informal and I'm well aware he uses it in this story too. Rumiko Takahashi published Ranma´s little dialogue with Nodoka in 2002 for the DAISHE magazine, it depicted a very serious and formal relationship. Probably that is what I tried.
Sorry for the long explanation.
Thank you.