A/N: Haha, I wanted to do a fic like this - its inspiration is that one episode of South Park when all the kids in the school begin to dress gothic (Vampire-ish) and then the goth kids get mad & burn down the Hot Topic. My only warning(s): don't get mad if it offends you, and this is dialogue...ish. Don't worry, I'll put the names in parenthesis when I do a new divider ^_^
Not really SasuSaku. They're together. But still.
Second part to Lover Elections.
Per se
by: kirei na yukki
"Vampires are so lame"
...
...
...
Yes, even the sparkly, gentlemanly ones too.
"Hey, you guys! Vampires don't exsist, its just an in thing right now."
"HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU?! WE AREN'T VAMPIRES, WE'RE FREAKING GOTHS!"
-
-
-
"Can you pass that tomato ju - er, I mean, the blood?"
"Ino?"
"Sakura - pass the blood!"
"Ino."
"Sakuraaaaaa. I'm going to die of thirst!"
"But its tomato juice."
-
Senior Class President Sakura's list of ISSUES concerning the students.
ONE. Tagging bathrooms.
TWO. Stink bombs in the lockeroom. Eating the cafeteria food and P.E. is bad enough, don't throw it where we have to change! Double 'eeewwww'
THREE. Sudden bands of Freshmen going into the Senior courtyard. People should know better.
FOUR. Why are there still tomatoes being served! Seriously, people are getting sick!
FIVE. Random people dressing up with penguin costumes. I'm looking at you, Naruto.
SIX. Lunchtime "clubbing". Out of control idiots.
SEVEN. VAMPIRE-OBSESSED CHILDREN.
-
Yes, I do have beef.
And no, I'm not a vegetarian vampire if you think I drink cow blood.
Just, no.
-
It was terrible.
They just came out of NOWHERE.
The vampire kids. I had the goths wanting to commit murder.
(Actually, some tried to kill me because I accidentally mistook them for vampires). This is why I'm conducting a "normal" day.
And why I'm wearing my Vampires are so lame shirt. Oh yes.
Funny I'd be doing these for a second time, considering that I got JUMPED last time I did.
"Since when are lions and lambs FRIENDS?! Oh well, I can dig it."
Vampires are in...
...more so than NINJA and JEDI.
Dude....
...THIS IS SERIOUS.
(Sasuke and Naruto.)
"Are you sure about this, dobe? Remember last time - "
"Well, how 'bout this time you, Sakura, and Ino lighten up! It wasn't even that big a deal!"
"You conducted an illegal underground election, one that the winner would get jack squat from - "
" - Nu-uh! You and Sakura are dating!"
" - lied about the results, and tried to rip everyone off with the bogus 'coverage'."
"SHUT UP TEME!"
"Hn."
"Time to start our - drum roll please - VAMPIRE MERCHANDISING BUSINESS!"
"Well, when Sakura comes to kill you. Yeah. Whatever."
"Whatever little emo vampire dude."
"...its goth, you moron. I am neither."
"Yeah, yeah - stay there! I need a male model so I can get some dude customers in too!"
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hn?"
"Sasuke-kun, why are you and Naruto selling vampire things???"
"..."
"Well?"
"Hn." Click. "Thanks a lot, dobe."
"What? Does Sakura-chan wear the pants in your relationship? Haha!"
"I'm going to kill you."
"Again? Aw, I just got beat last week per se!"
"..."
"Teme?"
"..."
"Temeeee?"
"I hate you."
(Sakura, Tenten, and Shikamaru)
"What's the difference between goths and emos, Sakura?"
"Tenten - how should I know?"
"Well, I see them running around...whichever one dresses in black, drinks tomato juice - "
Shiver. "T-Tomato juice?"
" - and wear plastic fangs while giving Hot Topic the best business they've ever gotten."
"Tenten, those aren't goths are emos."
"Then, what are they?"
"Douchy little vampire kids!"
"How'd you get here, Shikamaru?"
"Ino was driving me crazy."
"Vampire obsession?"
Sigh. "Yeah. Having a girlfriend who'll put up with effort for the latest trends is hard."
"Well how do you think I feel? Naruto and Sasuke-kun are making a profit out of it."
"Sasuke?" Snicker. "Of all people!"
"I know! Ugh."
"I think I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Later."
"Yeah." Yawn. "Later."
"What are we going to do about this, Tenten?"
"Get rid of their transformation materials. The Hot Topic I mentioned earlier is, like, not even near here. People went over to the towns during break remember? They wouldn't go during the year."
"But how are they still getting the stuff?"
"..."
"..."
Sigh. "Of course."
"Naruto."
"Let us visit the moron at work, Tenten."
"Yes, let's. Oh, but I have to meet Neji in the gym."
Blood Hound
vampire material store
The number one source of all your vampire goods, help yourself to our variety of:
Choker
Grillz for your fangs
Capes
Canes
Filed teeth
Fanged teeth
Vampiring for dummies
Contacts (both red and yellow)
Vampire A-Z guide book
Body glitter
(Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura)
"We're going to be freaking millionaires by the time the year's up per se!"
"Dobe."
"Come and get your vampire gear! This is the only stand for miles to come! Authentic, one of a kind vampire items sold here! Reasonable prices per se!"
"You call 23,000 ryo for body glitter reasonable?"
"S-Sakura-chan?"
"Sakura."
"Yes, it's me. What are you idiots doing?! You're turning my school into...into an academy of the undead! What is wrong with you?"
"But I'm making money! Me and teme! He can buy you that nice pearl necklace you wanted for your birthday."
"Oh, I did want that...but that's not the point! I have gothic children wanting my head on a pike to display for the student body to cower over! Stop selling douchy vampire kid stuff!"
"...what?"
"It was Shikamaru. But still - cut it out! Its weirding me out."
"Weirding you out?"
"Don't make fun of my speech, Sasuke-kun!" Punch.
"Hn."
"Yeah!"
"But I can't! I'm going to be a millionaire, per se!"
"You're going to be a dead man if you don't cut it out!"
"Teme?"
"Huh. You're on your own."
"But - ?"
"I'm going to flush all your ramen down a toilet if you do not stop this idiotic business of your immediately."
"...OH. MY."
Smirk. "Evil girlfriend. Huh. Well, anything goes."
Sob. "Fine. Close it down. Now, if you'll excuse me - I'm going to cry somewhere else."
"That was wrong - using his weakness like that."
"Well it isn't like I haven't used it before Sasuke-kun. I use weaknesses quite well, don't you think?" Giggle. Wink.
"...I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yeah, yeah - love you too."
-
"Hey, Sakura!"
"Tenten?"
"Did you hear that Naruto set of a werewolf stand not too far from here? I mean, everyone's all furry now. Lee's the school eye candy now!" Gag.
"Heh. Dobe."
Twitch. "NARUTOOOO!"
End.
I loved typing this. Sorry if it confuses. Dialogues are like that :P I so loved that episode of South Park. I titled it Per Se because that's like a main word of the episode. Its funny.
Oh and douchy little vampire kid - also South Park. LOL. Hoped you liked! PLEASE REVIEW!