To Be a Therapist in Middle-Earth
Disclaimer: Am I dead? No. Am I stinkin' rich? No. Then I do not own The Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit.
A.N: Hello and welcome to my story 'To Be a Therapist in Middle-Earth'. The patients include: Azog, Sauron, Ringraiths, Gollum, The Three Trolls, Sauruman, Bolg, Goblin King and Smaug. Lets start Azogs session.
Tori POV
My schedule is full for today. A whole bunch of people no other therapist wants to deal with. Wimps. Someone's knocking on he door. Okay, his name is... Azog... The Defiler? That's a strange name. I get up and open the door for him. It's an Orc. A pale, Gundabad Orc. Great. He's smiling at me. I think he needs a dentist more than a therapist but whatever, as long as I'm paid I'm fine with it.
"Okay sir please take a seat," I say.
"I'm not sitting down! Not when Oakenshield is alive and can kill me!" He snaps.
I'm already seeing his problem.
"Okay sir... Why are you here?"
"Well I enjoy starting wars and cutting off people's heads because their beards are to long. *cough* Durin line *cough* oh and I think that putting metal into my body is cool because I look all awesome and scary. I also cut vaguely symmetrical lines ino my body so they would become awesome looking scars. I sent my son on a suicide mission to kill an elf. I know stupid right? Elves are like the holy peoples and I think that walking into a fire-filled forest is a good idea."
I see exactly what his problem is. He needs a beard.
"I will find you a beard sir," I said.
"Thank you call me when you have it!" He said
"I will.""
"Good bye."
"Bye."
He gets up and walks out the door. That was tiring, I hope none of my other patients are like that!