AN: I do not own KND
Kids Next Door
Operation: L.A.W.N.
Lazy
Adults
Working
Nefariously
Long ago, in the Great Before Times, there existed an entity. It was known as 1. This creature encompassed the universe, with its ethereal mass. However, this creature was troubled. For half of it wanted knowledge, exploration, and the power, while the other half was content with everything they had now. These sides called themselves Adult and Child (which eventually through a young scholar's mistranslation became Kid).
"We should go forth and display our almighty power upon the cosmos." The Adult side exclaimed. "Not even the creator could stand in our way!"
"No!" Retorted the Child side. "Why should we waste our bountiful exuberance on such a lowly task? If the great creator intended us for a war, might it not grant us a weapon? No. I believe that we should just accept our great power as merciful actions and live content with ourselves."
"Content with what? Our ability to perceive our settings and take action through our reasoning? I do not believe you truly understand your words. And furthermore, the creator did give use the sword for battle-"
"-As well as the banner for peace! You could save your energy, help something other than yourself!"
"Compassion? Do I detect residual forms of pity dripping from your statement? How can you care for this when you know that emotions are only subconscious creations? I thought I knew you, thought I could at least identify with why you have chosen your path. But alas, I cannot. Farewell, counterpart, as we cannot now be 1. But rather, another form. I'll call it 2."
And so, the great divide occurred as the Adult and Child complexes split from one another. Of course, without the unity instilled by the combination of the Alpha and Omega, both sides gradually diminished in force and size. After eons of floating through the deep regions of space, they once more met, at the exact location of where they split. This place was called Earth, and, because of their decline in momentum, would remain as their home. However, as early cave paintings clearly suggest, this land was already held by alien creatures that showed clear dominance through their awesome might. Realizing that they where no match for dinosaurs, Adult and Child split, to become Man, Woman, Boy, and Girl. But of course, this was still too small of numbers if they where ever to remain a species in this hostile environment. So they realized that they would need to reproduce enough entities to stave off extinction. This is, in my opinion, the best part. Man takes Woman inside of cave and-
"ZZZzzzzzzzzzz."
"NUMBAH 745!"
Numbah 745 slowly rubbed his eyes and pulled his head up from off the saliva-soaked textbook lying open on his desk. A few girls giggle around him as he notices the drool on his face.
"Numbah 745, would you please enlighten the class on how kids came to be?"
"Came to be what? You mean the freaky squid thing that is connected to another squid thing that is actually the adults? Isn't that supposed to be your job?
The class breaks out in laughter as Numbah 465 turns beet-red.
"745. Come with me. Discussion. Now."
745 slid out of his seat, did a small stretching routine, and followed 465 out the metal door into the hallway.
"Sleeping in my class? Especially during this lesson, 745? I mean, I can understand your lack of interest, but this was the origin tale! You should be lucky to be learning it, what with the discovery of the book of KND."
"I know, I know, but I just don't see the point. It's just some crummy old story we tell young operatives so that they don't ask questions. I'm about to graduate, 465. I'm old enough to know that this won't help me at all in my career, as an operative and a kid."
"You-you can't see the point!? Are you crackers? THIS IS THE POINT! This is why we fight for children everywhere! This is why we will never understand adults until we age! This is why the KND exists! And I'm sorry if you don't think it matters, but then you could just go be a LAWN-MOWER!!!
745 was now cringing against the wall, wishing ever so much he could just phase through it, like a ghost. That is, until 465 told him to go be a lawn-mower. Never in his life had he heard the term "lawn-mower" used as an insult. 465, however, seemed to know a bit about the word as he was now feverishly apologizing to the boy. He could even see little drops of sweat trickling down from his forehead to rest dangling from his nose. It seemed that whatever this word was, it had a really bad meaning. 745 decided to pursue the matter.
"-So sorry 745 it just slipped, totally an accident, no need to involve moon base- maybe we could just have a nice round of ice cream at the local parlor as friends, old chap? What do you say buddy? Or, maybe we could play some laser hockey or ice tag or, or-just please don't get them after me man! My mom'll kill me if I'm not home by 10:00 and you just KNOW numbah 956 will just drag the whole thing out, making me sign papers, and documents, initial here, and here-
465?
-And here, and here, down here, fill out this and that-
465.
-and then he'll force to go to moon base where he'll just say that I forgot to sign this one paper which will tick him off like you won't believe, 745, believe me-
465!
465 jumped from the sound and turned to look at 745. The chestnut haired boy had a look of annoyance on his face. Not good.
Y-yes, 745?
That word you called me, lawn-mower I think it was, just, you know, wondering: what does it mean?
Well, I- I mean you, you can't just, um, you know, learn this from me! You would need a uh s-specialist that could tell you in…exactness?
465 flashed 745 a false smile and dashed off, only to trip on his oversized lab coat. 745 rolled his eyes and decided to go ask someone who wasn't a history geek. Perhaps numbah 362 could be of assistance. 745 started to head for the Arctic Base's escape pods but was stopped when a group of operatives sent him off to a training regiment of younger kids. He decided that it was time to put his training to the test. Making sure the coast was clear, he formulated a plan to reach the pods and get to the moon.
----------------Size Doesn't Matter-----------------------
"Psst! Hey, you kids!"
The children turned to look at whoever was calling them over. It was another kid like them, only a bit taller. He had light brown hair, and was wearingonly a jacket and jeans. Obviously he had to be a trainee, just like them. Otherwise he would probably have a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. or something strapped to his back. Jake decided against telling his friends this, though, because he wanted to see how his would play out. In fact, he decided he would help out this guys performance.
"Hello Mister, do you work here?" Jake noticed a glint appear in the trainee's eyes. Phase 1 complete.
"Uh, yeah, I do, actually. You youngins are so smart nowadays! Do you reckon such smart fellas such as yer selfs could help me out of a bit of a pickle. Would look mighty fine on yer stats." 745 hoped the accent didn't put a hinder in his plan. It came naturally for some reason and he had been powerless to stop it. Didn't his dad use to talk like that? Whatever, business at hand.
"Well," Jake started. "If you promise to tell the girl we did a good job, we'll try to help you sir." Jake was going on a hunch, but he just knew that this kid wasn't just spitting gum. He meant business. He only hoped his friends would catch on and not bust him.
"Alrighty then, I'll help you an you'll help me. Signed, sealed, done deal!" Looks like these kids played right into his hands. Guess the KND is gonna need to step up to the plate because these young operatives are just as dumb- if not dumber- than all the others. Oh, yeah. 745 was the man with the plan.
After telling the kids of his plan, and getting Jake (the apparent name of his small minded accomplice) to give the okay, the team was assembled:
745: skills include persuasion and somewhat stealth.
3-6: Jake: skills include manipulation as well as limited hand-to-hand.
2-4:Sanny: skills include vocal arts and ranged combat.
"Vocal arts! What kind of bullpoo-"
Just then a high pitched scream ripped through the air as the glass windows started to crack. Then, with the air of a professional, the shriek rose a few decibels and lowered in pitch. Almost like a safecracker searching for that sweet spot. Once more it changed. Just a slight adjustment in pitch, but nonetheless, the sweetspot was found as the glass shattered, spreading crystal shards across the floor like glitter. A cold arctic wind howled through the opening in the structure as 745 could just look down in awe as the little girl who screamed bloody murder just giggled and sniffled. "Right, vocal arts, major skills."
1-5:Ed; skills include vehicular know how and deep grasp of physics.
"Not gonna even bother with this one."
745 put the little list 3-6 gave him down and eyed his team. A short kiss-up with spiky har, a pretty pink banshee, and a chunky kid who seemed more interested in digging for nose-gold then listening to anything else. Right, time to get to work.