Hi everyone, and welcome to my new story! I'm pretty sure this is the first story of it's kind on FFN, so I'm proud to be the author of it. I'm not sure how well I write when I'm not doing humor, but I tried pretty hard on this one. It's really short, but I think it's still a pretty good story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baten Kaitos.

"I'm sorry, I truly am," the Ice Queen said as she walked towards the door. I gave her a weak smile and then turned away. When I heard her leave, I walked over to a chair and sat down.

Leon is dead. He died trying to protect me...

Queen Xelha's words replay in my mind again and again. She had told me everything that happened that day: how the Sabre Dragon had attacked without warning, how it had killed both my husband and his friend Gram in one blow. How a blue-haired boy had helped her slay it.

How the blue-haired boy had arrived only moments too late.

There are so many 'what-if's.' What if they had left Wazn a different day? Or had it been only hours that had sealed his fate? What if Queen Xelha had lost just a little less power after her nightmare? What if the blue-haired boy had gotten there sooner? What if the blue-haired boy had gone in with them, instead of after them?

What if I had stopped him from going?

It certainly wouldn't have been hard to stop him. He did not want to go to begin with. He volunteered, true, but it was out of duty, he was obligated to go. He did not want to. Nobody else saw the reluctance in his face, the hesitation in his step. Nobody else saw him sit for hours and do nothing except worry. Nobody saw the look he gave me when he boarded the ship. There were so many other people-men, women, even children!-who would have dreamed for this! So many citizens of Wazn who wanted nothing more than to protect the Ice Queen and the Ocean! So many that believed this was the best cause one could die for! Leon...he was not one of them. A simple plea from me and he would have stayed home! He would have been alive! I know that the queen doesn't know this, and I didn't tell her. What would giving her more guilt accomplish?

Then again...maybe she deserves it.

She doesn't feel as badly about this as she should. But how could she? She doesn't know everything that I know. She thinks that Leon wanted to go, that he couldn't wait for a chance like this. She thinks that he gave his life in the best way he could imagine. She thinks that he believed he was fulfilling his duty as a citizen of Wazn and it was the least he could do. I told her all of this was true, I reassured our queen that it was not her fault. I told her that I understood completely.

But there is so much everyone else doesn't see.

Leon had at least a small urge to protect the Ocean, as all people of Wazn do. And everyone who hears about him will think that he died for this cause, that he helped save the Ice Queen, the Ocean, and the world. If that were true, I am sure he would feel better, only a small bit, but still better. And so would I! To have been married to and loved by a man who helped save the world would be a small consolation for loosing the one you love, but it would at least mean something. But the truth is, Leon didn't help save anything. If what Queen Xelha said was true, then he was killed before he could land even a single blow to the Sabre Dragon! Had he even scratched it would have meant something, but...he didn't. He couldn't. He died for nothing. And...

I am jealous.

Queen Xelha...she got everything! She got all the things that I deserved! When Leon died, she was the one by his side. She was the last thing he saw before his eyes closed for the last time. She was the one who said our nation's prayer for him. She was the last one to touch him, the last one to feel his warmth. And maybe...maybe she was the last one Leon thought about. But these things-things that I would die for!-were not enough for her! She allowed that blue-haired boy to take Leon's things! She...she stole from him, even though she claimed he was her friend!

I took Leon's pendant so that I could give it to you...but it was lost along the way.

She lost what little I could have had! I was not there when he died; I at least deserve a small token from him! Something that would remind me of our love, something that I could hold and be soothed by...couldn't I have had that much? I deserve it! I need it! I told Queen Xelha that my memories are enough, but they're not.

In time, all memories fade into nothingness.

Already, I am forgetting. I cannot remember where all his freckles were, or the exact shade of his skin. I cannot quite remember the sound of his voice. I cannot recall the feeling his touch left me with. I cannot recreate the way my heart sped up when he held my closely or whispered into my ear. I know that, eventually, I will not remember anything except that this man existed. And, in time, I may forget even that.

Maybe I already have.

Please review and tell me what you thought of it. If it's any good I'll do a chapter on Gram's wife. Constructive criticism is welcome, wanted, and appreciated! Flames will be posted on my List of Flames, which is currently empty.