Disclaimer: I do not own Nana nor the characters in it. I leave that stroke of brilliance to Ai Yazawa.
A/N: When I searched for nana fics involving shoji, three came up. THREE! Two of them weren't very nice, and the one that wasn't awful to him was pre children's day fiasco XX. So I wanted to write a oneshort (and maybe more to come) to not victimize hachi (poor hachi though ;; ), but to show the other side of the coin. Hachi's side may be the one that hit the dirt, but shoji's side still had to fall to the ground. Please don't flame this fic just because almost everyone hates Shoji. Believe me, I'm no big fan either. The guy just deserves a bit better than being beaten to a bloody pulp. SO THANK YOU!
Shoji: Yay! Someone loves me! nn!
Me: No I don't TT;;
Shoji: .. I hate my life.
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"Jun, something really bad happened."
"What happened! Are you okay?!"
"Y…yea I'm fine. It's Nana. Jun….Jun she found out. She saw me and Sachiko. I…I'm worried about her." Shoji laid his head in his hand, his cell clasped tightly in the other. His apartment was dark, lit only by his bedside light.
"Shoji you idiot! I thought you were ending it!" The screeching voice hurt his ear.
"I know! I know I messed up…Sachiko went home alone-she was so upset- and Nana…she just…she hates me Jun."
"Well who wouldn't hate a two timing boyfriend?" Jun's air of apathy was clear even over the phone.
"I know Jun. Look…please just go over there tomorrow. See if she's alright. I know I want Sachiko and all, but I still care about Nana. I'm worried about her. Just see if she's okay enough for me to talk to her, at least to give her a decent explanation-"
"No Shoiji, no! If you don't want to get back with Nana, the best thing to do is just break it off clean."
"But I…" Shoji froze. He had no excuse to make at the moment, and he wanted to make sure Jun checked in on Nana. "Fine, I'll leave it be. Just check things out, and make sure she doesn't kill herself or anything else Nana-ish like that. Please?" He bit his lip. Jun was tricky to read in situation like this, especially over the phone.
"Of course I'll check in on her. I can see the blood spurting from her wrists now…yuck!"
"Thanks Jun."
"Of course. Later Shoji." The cell phone clicked off. Now there was nothing but the dark, empty room. Shoji felt his lips tremble a little, and took in a sharp gulp of air. He walked quickly to the bathroom, turning on the cold water and splashing his face in it. Shoji gazed at the water circulating the drain. You can't cry man. You chose this, you want this. You wanted Sachiko, you didn't want Nana. It's what you want so you can't cry dude. Shoji breathed in deeply again, and gazed around the bathroom.
It had lost its unearthly sparkle since Nana had last cleaned it. That right, Shoji thought to himself, running a hand over the cool ceramic bathtub. She spent all day cleaning for me…I hadn't even realized how much she did till I saw the bathroom…. He could almost see his reflection in the shiny white surface, and punched it spitefully.
" OW! Son of a-" He grunted in pain and cradled his hand, walking back to his bed. The bed she slept in so seldom…. Nana had grown more interested in the lives of the wanna be rich and famous than his. He couldn't blame her of course. These glamorous punk stars were sexy, loud, obnoxious, everything that he knew Nana wanted to be. Except obnoxious. She definitely mastered that. And loud…never sexy though. But cute was always her forte. Shoji smiled, and started to chuckle about the time she cut her finger while daydreaming in art class. She spazzed so bad, it was the most exasperating yet adorable thing he'd ever witnessed.
"Adorable…I wonder how Sachiko is doing." Shoji grabbed his cell phone and started scrolling through his list to get to "S". Along the way, he passed "Nana". He stopped there, staring at the screen. Shoji hastily shut it again, opened his drawer, and threw it in against the one picture he possessed of his year long girlfriend. She smiled enthusiastically, and so did he in the photo. They were happy in the photo, still friends, before the complications of Tokyo and sex and the "say you love me"s took hold of them. She was so cute. I thought she was the perfect girl for me. I only wanted her for so long…but she…."I Don't want him anymore! " She screamed through tear filled eyes. Like he was a toy that broke…it was that simple. I'm a broken toy. Her play thing broke. It's that easy to discard it. The tears Shoji wanted desperately to hide started to flow down his cheeks.
"You're such a liar!" He screamed at the happy photo of the once best friends. " 'Love'!? You never loved me, you never knew how to love! You ditched me for weeks, you hated me for not paying for your rent, you yelled at me, you abused me! What did you think would happen, huh Nana! You…you thought I'd be happy with you loving some butchy punk-rock singer more than me?! Well go sleep in her bed from now on, and I'll sleep in Sachiko's! So….just fuck off!"
Shoji threw the photo, which fluttered in the air pathetically. His tears were as hot as his blood while they streamed down his face. He gasped slightly, and reached for the photo again. It was slightly crumbled now from his fit, but he attempted to flatten it and hold it to his chest once more as he shook and cried on his bed. The bed Nana slept in so seldom...I loved you so much you stupid girl! You just tossed me away…and I don't mean tonight. You tossed me away as soon as you entered the demon lord's palace. The temple of 707…nana 0 nana.
And yet Shoji, in the back of his head, knew he brought this upon himself. He forced her to get a job, he asked her to live with him one day too late, and he allowed himself to be taken in by a cute girl with pure intentions, corrupted by the brittle relationship he shared with his first love. Sachiko deserved an unattached guy, and Nana deserved a faithful one. I'll do things right this time, he thought, as he slid the picture of him and the girl he still held love for away, I will learn from the mistakes me and Nana made, and make things work with Sachiko. I deserve it, she deserves it, and Nana….
Shoji looked outside his window at the full moon, worry for Nana once again plaguing his mind. " Please let Nana find someone who will make her happy, someone worth her time and efforts. I wasn't, but she deserves someone who is. Someone like…who was that guy…Oh yea, Takumi. Send Nana someone to make her heart race like Takumi does. She deserves that."
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A/N: I plan to write more Shoji fics whenever I feel motivated (which is rare !) in the meantime, I hope this didn't offend too many. For the record, I ADORE Nana O, enjoy Nana K, and usually hold great resentment to Shoji and mild dislike to Sachiko. But everyone deserves their side of the story, neh? R/R.