Disclaimer: The King James Version of the Bible, upon which this tale is based, is in public domain.

Mary, Ever Virgin
by: Jeuxdevie

For there was much dispute about these things, and much blood was shed; that thou mightest know the truth about things, and that peace be restored upon His creation, I write unto thee, dear followers of the Christ, the words that the Lord hath revealed to me:

There was, in the days of Herod, in a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, a maiden of beauty and modesty; and this maiden's name was Mary.

Her beauty and virtue attracted the hearts of men, and many have asked for her hand in marriage; but she had no desire for man, and was determined to remain pure all her life.

But the law decreed that a woman is saved through her motherhood; and Mary, a maiden who feared the Lord, was much troubled. She agreed to motherhood, but had no desire to be with man.

And it came to pass, on her eighteenth year, that Mary met a handsome man, whose name was Joseph, of the house of David;

And this man heard of the virtue of Mary, and asked for her hand in marriage; but Mary declined, saying that she had no desire to be with man, and wished to remain pure all her life;

But Joseph said, Mary, I respect thy wishes; for long I have sought a wife whose desire was to remain pure all her life, and now I have found her; I ask for thy hand in marriage and friendship.

Mary was deeply troubled, for she thought that if she be married, she might one day be bound by law to know her husband in the marital bed;

So she asked Joseph, Why dost thou wish for a wife whose desire is to remain pure all her life? Dost thou not have desire to be with thy wife?

And Joseph said, Nay. And he leaned closer to her, and whispered, Can thou keepest a secret? And Mary nodded.

And Joseph said, Mary, I have no desire for woman, for my desire is to be with men. And Mary gasped, and she said, But the law forbids it! Hast thou no fear of death? And Joseph answered, I have fear of death and suspicion, and that is why I have sought marriage to hide myself; that I may escape death;

And I have sought a wife who would not desire to know me in the marital bed, and who would consent to be the mother of my children, and who would not be jealous lest I share my bed with men. Mary, wouldst thou be my wife?

And Mary felt joy in her heart, and she said, Aye.

And Joseph took Mary to his home, and she became his wife;

And they both wanted children; so Joseph jacked off until he came, and put his seed into a turkey baster, and gave it to Mary, who squirted it into herself, and she conceived;

And, nine months later, she gave birth to a son, whom they named Jesus;

And it was through this manner that both man and woman were saved, and came to be the parents of the Lord, and of his brothers and sisters.

Now that thou knowest the truth, proclaim the Word of the Lord throughout the land, and thou shalt be saved. Amen.

THE END