Erin awoke to a dull pain in her stomach, it was one of the rare nights David was home and she grabbed his hand on instinct. They'd spent six months trying to have a baby; they knew how unlikely it wasbut the ten week ultrasound proved they were still fertile.
He rolled over to face her, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know, but something's not right."
He bolted upright and flipped on the lamp they both winced as their eyes adjusted to the sudden light.
"What hurts?"
She couldn't say it, she couldn't make it real, swallowing the knot in her throat, she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't upset him when their was nothing he could do. "It's nothing, David."
"Erin, you don't squeeze my hand like that over nothing."
"Go back to sleep."
He turned off the light and put his arm around her with his hand settling on her lower belly, "Try to rest. It will be okay," His voice clogged with emotion, "it has to be."
"How did you-"
"I'm a profiler."
The baby was lost the next morning.
"David, I'm so sorry." She let herself cry this time, for her baby, herself, and the future with David. It was her job! Her duty as a mother to carry and protect her children and she failed! She cost David a child because she was too weak to carry it.
"There was nothing you could have done." He sat down next to her on the edge of their bed, "You heard what the doctor said, it was out of our control. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I killed our baby, David I'm so sorry-" she gasped as the sobs racked her body. He pulled her close and lay her down; before laying next to her. Brushing her hair off her face, he kissed her cheek and then, just above her belly button.
"There's no one there David."
"Not yet, but there will be. We did it once we will do it again."
Dave's point of view
~0~0~0~
He knew what was happening the second she reached for his hand. He'd bought and borrowed every baby book known to man. For ten weeks he agonized, sometimes for days on end waiting on the call while he was on a case; telling him that their baby was gone. Every day passed without a word gave him more hope that he and Erin would have what they wanted. He passed by a quilt shop the last time he was out-of-town and considered buying a baby blanket; perfect for their future child. Now he was glad he hadn't. When Erin stumbled out of the bathroom, pale-faced and crying. His hopes were crushed. Gone, their child was gone before it was given the chance to grow.
"I killed our baby." Her words cut through him like daggers; ripping his heart out for the second time that day. He could tell her all day long that it wasn't her fault, but it wouldn't matter. Erin depended on what people did. That's what she believed in. He kissed her, letting his lips land on her face; he loved her. He always loved her; he kissed her belly, as a way to say goodbye to the child they never got to meet.
"There's no one there."
"Not yet, but there will be, we did it once we will do it again."
"Maybe it's too late for us, maybe this is enough."
"We'll make it, Erin, and we will find a way to add to our family I promise," he said as she drifted to sleep. That was a promise he would make good on.
No copyright infringement is or was intended the characters of Erin Strauss and Dave Rossi are property of CBS and their associates along with the show, Criminal Minds. Neither is owned by me.