That Don't Impress Me Much

Yet another parody from me… don't I have better things to do with my time?  *looks at the proposal she's writing for English, her Psych textbook, and other books*  Nah.

All of the usual disclaimers apply… there's 1+2 shonen-ai!  You have been warned.

That Don't Impress Me Much

*Heero walks out in a tuxedo, looking reminiscent of James Bond.  He coughs, and starts to sing surprisingly well for one who rarely speaks except to say "I'll kill you."*

Heero: *singing to Relena, a look of disgust on his face* I've known a few girls who were real tarts,
But you've got that stalking down to an art!
You're think you're a goddess--you drive me up the wall,
You're just an additional burden to us all!

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're a hottie!
Oh-oo-oh, you're really a repulsiveuglywench! (Duo: Does anyone else realize that doesn't fit the beat?)

Okay, so you're Relena Darlian.

That don't impress me much!
So you've got the connections, but you don't have the touch!
But don't get me wrong, I don't think you're all right!
'Cause having you around I'll never get to sleep at night!
That don't impress me much!

I never knew an ugly girl who carried a fanclub in her pocket,
And had an escort everywhere- just in case!
And I don't think he's quite working out as your stylist,
'Cause look at your hair- it's a disgrace!

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're a hottie!
Oh-oo-oh, you're really a repulsiveuglywench!

Okay, so you're really Relena Pieceofcrap.

That don't impress me much!
So you've got the friends (Duo:  Yeah, right!), but you don't have the touch!
But don't get me wrong, I don't think you're all right!
'Cause having you around I'll never get to sleep at night!
That don't impress me much!

You're one of those girls who likes a shiny machine!
I don't see why you do- it's a pink limousine!
I can't believe you want me to kiss you good-night,
C'mon lady tell me--you must be kidding, right?

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're a hottie!
Oh-oo-oh, you're really a repulsiveuglywench!

Okay, so you're really Queen of the World.

That don't impress me much!
So you've got the power (Wufei: That onna?  Power?!), but you don't have the touch!
But don't get me wrong, I don't think you're all right!
'Cause having you around I'll never get to sleep at night!

That don't impress me much!
So you've got the connections, but you don't have the touch!
But don't get me wrong, I don't think you're all right!
'Cause having you around I'll never get to sleep on those long, cold, awful nights!
That don't impress me much!

Okay, so what do you think, you're Duo or something...?

Whatever...

That don't impress me.

*Heero finishes with a suave smirk, sitting in Duo's lap.*

Relena: *Relena sits there, bawling* But- but I don't understand!

Duo: *grinning evilly as he looks at the bed, and some chains on the wall* I think I have an idea of how to make her understand.

Heero: *giving Relena the patented Yuy Death Glare* Hn. *smirks, and then chains Relena to the wall before pulling Duo off to bed*

OWARI!