A/N- Hey all, just a short drabble based off of the funny guy Dane Cook. This is probably one of my favorite sketches from him and I thought. Let me turn it into a Fitchel drabble. So enjoy this easy laugh fic and Gardens of the Night and Girl in the Striped Pajamas will be updated tonight. Like I said, this is the best Dane Cook sketch and it is so true. So when your done reading this fic and you have never seen it. Youtube Dane Cook Why Women Win Fights.
Why Women Win Fights
There they were again, fighting about…well Finn honestly forgot what they were fighting about. But he was screaming at Rachel and she was screaming at him. Now Finn was a nice guy, respected his girlfriend, but like every normal couple they fought. It couldn't be all rainbows and butterflies all the time and plus the makeup sex was like fucking amazing. But here they where, in their nice little apartment in New York, yelling at each other about…well once again Finn forgot but Rachel didn't.
"Finn, it's seriously not that hard for you to go to the drug store and pick up tampons ok! I didn't ask for depends that's adult diapers, I asked for Tampons Finn!" Rachel chastised
"Well I'm sorry that both packages where pink, they looked the same!" He defended. "And who sends their boyfriend to get tampons anyway!"
Rachel rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "The kinda girlfriend who's boyfriend used up her last box to see if he could stick it in a beer bottle and make a bomb outta it Finn!"
"Well it was Puck's idea!" Finn said and Rachel just scoffed
"If Puck told you to jump off a bridge would you?"
Finn mentally laughed, that was a stupid idea but he had to think up a good comeback. "Well if there was water below it then yeah I would."
Rachel's body langue changed, she stepped out of her stance and then shifted her body weight to one leg, popping one hip out and cocking her head to the right. Her hands went to her face and she got this smile on her face. "You know what Finn, your right I should have never sent you to get me Tampons, I guess it is a woman's job after all since we are the ones that have to deal with it. And your totally right about Puck to, I mean seriously the two of you have the brightest ideas, really."
Finn smiled, he had won the fight he had never won the fight. But little did he know that Rachel was about get all ninja on him. She turned around on her heel and walked to the kitchen but then she stopped, looked around her shoulder and said. "You know, you are so stupid just like your Uncle." And with that she walked into the kitchen and Finn just smiled. Was that the best she could come up with, seriously he was gonna be in charge in bed tonight.
But as Finn sat down to watch the game Rachel's little tic tak of a comment was really starting to play out in his head. "Stupid like my Uncle," he said with a laugh as he took a sip of his beer. "That's the best she could do? Stupid like my Uncle…" he gave a hearty laugh and sat back in his chair, wait a second…Finn straightened up. "My Uncle was a brilliant man!" he yelled. "You don't even know!"
Now Finn was fuming again, that little comment, that small tiny little comment had really, like seriously pissed him off. Now he wanted to fight again, like really get back at her. So he got up from his chair and paced the living room floor, trying to find the kitchen. He had totally forgotten the layout of his own home. He opened up one door, stepped in and then stepped out. "Coat closet." He growled. "Were the hell is the kitchen?" so after a two minute quest to find the kitchen, he finally did. Now mind you, the apartment was a two bed room one bath so yea Finn was that mad. But there was Rachel, sitting in the kitchen, drinking her honey and tea. She looked up from her cup, cocked an eyebrow and sweetly said. "Yes Finn?"
Finn was red, he was about to say something but then he realized that one his way from the living room to the kitchen he hadn't thought of anything to say. So like any guy in his situation, he just swore a lot and pointed out the obvious.
"So that's what your gonna do? Your just gonna sit there and drink your fuckin tea? Your just gonna sit there and be like slurping on your tea huh? The tea and the honey?" He was going on a downwards spiral now. "Oh look I'm Rachel and I sit and drink my tea and honey like some sorta tea and honey drinker." He said as he waved his hands spatially around. "Who bought your tea Rachel huh? Who bought the god damn tea?"
Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know Finn, who bought the tea?" She answered in a calm cool voice
"I'll tell you who bought the tea! I bought the fuckin tea all this tea is mine! Every single box is mine!" He shouted, he seriously looked like a crazy man right now. "Mine! Mine! Mine! You know, when I was a kid and I asked my Uncle to by me some tea you know what he would do? He would get me some god damn tea! You wanna know why?"
"Enlighten me Finn" Rachel said
He exploded. "BECAUSE MY UNCLE WAS A BRILLENT MAN!" he took a deep breath and turned around and then back to her. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"
Rachel just rolled her eyes at his little fit. "Would you like some tea Finn?"
He took a deep breath. "Hell no, I don't want any tea, I hate tea. I'm going to go watch the game." And with that he walked back into the living room and sat down on his chair. Rachel still sat in the kitchen with a smile on her face. She took her phone out of her pocket and texted Santana.
'Won again, Rachel-3 Finn-0' pressed send and put it back into her pocket. She really did love to argue with her boyfriend.