A/N: Okay so new story, I didn't Co-Write this one and I hope it's okay…I don't own anything at all unfortunately…Let me know what you think, I would really appreciate it.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself 'what if I hadn't met the person who changed everything'. Well I wouldn't be left feeling like a piece of shit, I wouldn't be thinking that he didn't care, and maybe I would have found someone who made me moderately happy. But no, I had to move to Tacoma and my car had to breakdown, I had to go to that garage and he had to be the one to fix it. But now I feel that if I didn't let work get in the way, or if I was able to love the club just as much as he did… he would be lying next to me sleeping, not god knows where.

I take a deep breath and look out into the night. This isn't how a thirty year old should be feeling, they should be happy and ready to start a life with someone they want to spend forever with. But in truth, I thought I would spend my life with him, he's the other part of me. Walking through the hall and down the stairs, the hardwood floor numbing my feet from the cold I see the pictures that line our walls, the two of us on the back of his bike, at the beach, in the mountains, at a gas station or just at a party; but we were in those pictures, oblivious at what this crazy future holds.

I can feel the anger starting inside me mixing with the sadness, I stormed into the living room and sat on the sofa, I just want him home right now we need to talk about all of these things that are running through my mind. The tears are coming freely now, I try to stop them but I can't… they seem to keep coming. I didn't know I could cry this much until now, I wish I could look at him in the eyes and tell him that I don't care that he didn't talk to me first, or that I would pick up and leave no problem but I cant. Maybe, no I would if he just talked to me about this plan about switching charters but he didn't, not even a hint that he was thinking about it. I looked up at the sound of his bike and I seemed to cry harder, the door opened and the sound of his boots filed this empty house, I felt the couch dip and a hand on my leg. Looking up I saw the calm look on his face. I used to know that face of his, those blue eyes and blonde hair his skin… everything I spent minutes memorizing his face in hopes of never forgetting it, but right now that's all I want to do.

"Kozik were you ever going to talk to me about this?" I asked through the tears looking into his blue eyes praying his answer would be yes, and not some lie that he thinks would save me from the pain. "And don't lie to me." I added quickly not that it mattered if he wants to lie he can, I just won't stick around to believe it.

"I don't know… I really don't, it never seemed like the right time, it's not a casual topic to just bring up. But I didn't plan on hurting you, that's the last thing I wanted to do." He grabbed my hand I let him take it. I want to feel his touch the warmth of his skin on mine; right now it just doesn't feel the same. He must have felt the same way because he pulled his hand back.

"But you should have talked to me; it's not just your life Koz! It's mine too; we have a life together or at least I thought we did." Now I'm mad, I guess the anger is now in control. I wiped the tears from my face and stood up in front of him. He stood and looked down at me, this is the one time I wish I was taller.

"We do have a life together, I just got confused and I guess I was putting it off. You aren't always the easiest person to talk to." His voice was even almost like a robot's.

"Putting it off until when?" I yelled moving closer, pushing him. He stayed in the same place and just looked down at me. "Until you left town, or were you going to just leave me here with no explanation? You've done it before or did you forget about that?"

"I was going to fucking tell you, I wouldn't just leave you like that you know me better than that." He said his voice just below a yell, I don't see why he won't just yell because I'm sure as hell gonna yell at him.

"Do I know you better than that? Because the Kozik I know would have talked to me about it, asked me what I thought. But this Kozik…" I gestured with my hand at him my voice going soft. "I don't know, you've gotten distant and you don't come home, you have no idea how hard it is not knowing if you were going to walk through that door or come back to me in a casket. But I knew what I signed up for when I got with you. I knew and I have been there for you, with no questions or complaints… I was there and I thought that we could trust each other with everything. I talked to you when I got all those job offers but you told me you didn't want to leave and I turned them all down because I didn't want to leave you!" I stopped and it clicked. All this time I've been concerned with him not telling me, what if he doesn't want me to come, maybe that's why he never talked to me about it, he didn't know how to break it off.

"Yeah and I bet that you fucking regret it every time you look at me don't you!" He yelled taking a step back. I shook my head fallowing him. He yelled louder pointing a finger at me.

"No I don't, I am happy with you." I screamed turning around and walking over to the fireplace. The tears came back and I'm not ashamed of them at least not yet.

"Fuck Whitney do you think I want to leave you? Because I don't, I love you."

"You know this whole time I thought to myself, he didn't talk to me, that's what I was mad about but now seeing you standing here in front of you, all I can think about is how we got to this point. We fight like cats and dogs; maybe this is for the best." I took a deep breath and looked over at him his face has anger written all over it but no hurt, just anger. "Kozik were you even going to ask me to come with you?" I asked, I want his answer to be yes, I could handle a yes but a no would kill me. I got silence back. I nodded my head and smiled up at him. "Just answer me Kozik, please."

"Whitney…"He trailed off and ran his hands through his hair. His phone went off and he answered it. I stood there holding back new tears wiping the old ones away. I heard his phone click shut and he looked over at him. "I have to go I'll be back in about an hour." I nodded, the club comes first I thought to myself no matter what the club has to come first.

"Fine go just go be the Sargent At Arms but you better stay the night there because that door will be locked." I said crossing my arms and taking a deep breath before he walked over tilting my head up to look at him.

"I love you Whitney but don't play these fucking games because I won't stick around to play them with you." He said angrily, I shook my head walking over to the kitchen.

"I'm pregnant."