"That was totally lame," Robin grumbled as the five of them walked out of the movie theatre.
Lily wrapped her coat tightly around her. "You cold honey?" Marshall asked her, and gave her a bear hug.
"Dude!" Ted said, laughing. "Come ON. That film was awesome. For the audience reaction alone." He turned to Barney. "Say you're with me, man?"
Barney seemed to think about this for a moment. "Nope, sorry Bro. Gotta side with Canada on this one. Chicks swooning over that kid from Harry Potter? Not cool."
Marshall snorted. "Are you kidding me? That was totally Team Jacob in there."
Robin shook her head, grinning, while Barney made several lewd jokes about Marshall being a "total chick". He continued to rip on Marshall all the way to the bar, and even beyond the point when Lily and Marshall had gone home and Ted had disappeared to bed.
"Vampires that sparkle," Robin snorted, swirling the ice around in the bottom of her glass tumbler.
Barney smirked. "Hey, the only awesome sparkling vampire would be a Robin Sparkles vampire!"
Robin almost choked on her drink.
"Yeah, at least she would have been slutty, like vampires are supposed to be," he said.
"Robin Sparkles was not slutty!" Robin protested, but he cut her off.
"You slept with Simon. And that guy was just begging to be exsanguinated."
"Exsanguinated?"
"Anyways, I think it's insulting. All that skipping around in meadows and watching each other sleep when you could be out having awesome, dirty, vampire sex?"
"It's true, a Robin Sparkles Vampire is all about the dirty sex." Robin said, laughing.
Barney didn't speak for a moment, then finally he raised an eyebrow. "Are you kinda turned on right now?"
She slid into the booth beside him and nuzzled his neck. "Relapse sex?" She murmured.
"Only if we roleplay the Robin Sparkles vampire thing?"
She slid a hand down the front of his shirt. "Do I get to bite you?"
"Gotta be authentic."
"It's a deal," She laughed, taking his hand and dragging him out of the bar.