Disclaimer: Disney owns the rights to the characters of Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible and Mr. Steven Barkin and the movie mentioned in this story. I receive no compensation for using said characters or the music and poetry mentioned.
Author's Note: I was watching TV the other night and this is what I came up with.
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O Fortuna
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Kim Possible and her friend Ron Stoppable were in their last class of the day: Latin Class. During the hour, each student had to get up in front of the class, recite some classic bit of Latin literature and then translate and explain what it meant.
Unfortunately for Ron, he was the first to be called upon. Fortunately, he was prepared.
The blond boy walked up to the front of the classroom, set down a boom box on the teacher's desk and turned to his classmates as Rufus the naked mole rat scurried out of his pocket abode and stood next to the CD player, ready for his cue.
"Ahem," Ron cleared his throat and then began. "The Latin poem I chose is called "O Fortuna" and was written sometime in the thirteenth century. It's about life and fate and the Roman goddess of luck that went by the name of Fortuna. The translation goes something like this..."
Mr. Barkin, who had moved to the back of the classroom to watch the reports, interrupted," Stoppable! The normal procedure is to recite the Latin verse first, then the translation."
"Sorry Mr. B.," Ron answered the large teacher with a sly grin, "but I'd prefer to do it the other way around. Otherwise it just won't make any sense."
"Well. okay," Barkin ceded after thinking it over for a few seconds. "Just get on with it."
Ron shuffled his feet a bit to get set as he straightened up to his full, short height. "O Fortuna, by some guy in the thirteenth century.
"O Fortune
like the moon you are changeable,
ever waxing and waning:
Hateful life
first oppresses and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
Poverty and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate...
Monstrous and empty,
you whirling wheel
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing,
Shadowed and veiled
you plague me too;"
Ron suddenly strips off his shirt and turns around, showing the class the myriad of scars from the nicks and cuts on his back that he'd received during his and Kim's missions over the years. Most were tiny white lines but there were a couple that were large and ugly. After the gasps that filled the room from his classmates, except from Kim who knew about his various injuries, he continued:
"Now through the game
I bring my bare back to your villainy.
Fate is against me in health and virtue,
driven on and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour without delay
pluck the vibrating strings:
Since Fate strikes down the strong man,
Everyone weep with me."
Ron slipped his shirt back on as he turned around to face his audience, set down his papers on the desk and said, "And now for the Latin words." He briefly looked down at his little buddy and said, "Hit it, Rufus."
The naked mole rat took his cue and pressed the play button on the machine. Dramatic music from a one hundred-fifty piece orchestra thundered from the box. Starting slow but extremely powerful, everyone in the room suddenly recognized the piece of music since it had been used in quite a few TV commercials and movies, including the movie "300" and in various promos for the "Star Wars" franchise.
As the choir started to sing the lyric, Ron sang along, precisely pronouncing each of the Latin words:
"O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variablis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem."
"STOPPABLE!" The bellowing voice came from the back of the room from Mr. Barkin and startled everyone out of the trance-like fascination they were in from hearing the blond boy, who up to this point hadn't shown much talent other than the few odd skills he'd shown at the talent show the year before.
Rufus stopped the boom box as Ron queried, "Yeah Mr. B.?"
"I can see you've done your homework for this presentation," the large teacher stoically said as he stood up and moved to the front of the class to stand next to the blond boy. "And I can see you have a grasp on the Latin portion of it, too. I don't think we need to hear any more. You get an A."
"BooYah! Thanks Mr. B.," Ron happily chimed as he went to pick up his naked mole rat and the CD player.
"Not so fast, Stoppable," Barkin growled as he prevent Ron from picking up the boom box by pinning it to the desk with his large hand. When Mr. Barkin grabbed the boom box, Rufus let out a startled squeak and dove into Ron's pants pocket thinking that the teacher was trying to grab him.
"What's wrong, Mr. B.? I thought I was done."
"Can you tell me the name of that piece of music, where it's from and who wrote it?" the teacher asked, not letting Ron cheat by pulling the CD out and look at it. "Also tell me just why you picked that particular poem."
"Ahhhhhh," Ron hemmed and hawed for a second while his brain kicked into gear from the odd questions for a class dealing with Latin. "Well, the piece is called "O Fortuna", like the poem, and it's the opening and closing part of a cantata called "Carmina Burana" written by Carl Orff." Ron's face comically contorted when he pronounced the composer's last name.
"And exactly why did you pick that piece of poetry?" Mr. Barkin pressed.
"Well actually, Mr. B.," Ron nervously said while anxiously rubbing the back of his neck, "I was watching the Disney movie "G-Force" on TV the other night and the song was used during the chase scene when the gerbils busted through the fireworks display. I knew I'd heard the song before so I checked the web and found the music... but the rest was all my work, I promise Mr. B.!"
"I believe you Stoppable," Barkin nodded. "Your translation wasn't totally accurate, but it was within normal interpretations."
"Ahhhhhh, okay," Ron shrugged and once again went to collect his music but Mr. Barkin's hand was still on the player preventing him from picking it up. Barkin quickly extracted the CD from the boom box and held it up for Ron to see.
"I'll just keep this for a day," Mr. Barkin slyly said since he'd noticed that the entire, almost hour long cantata was on the CD.
"Oh, I get'cha," Ron said in realization as he picked up the player and walked back to his desk. "You wanna bogart my CD or pirate a copy for yourself." The comment brought about a few covert laughs from the other students in the room.
"I would never..." Mr. Barkin started to loudly deny before he slumped a bit, walked to the back of the room where the blond boy was sitting and handed the shiny disc to Ron. "Fine. I'll go buy my own CD."
The exchange brought about more ill-veiled laughter from the students but Mr. Barkin ignored it, straightened up and loudly said, "All right people, settle down. Possible, you're up."
Kim stood up from her desk, picked up the boom box from Ron's desk and walked up to the front of the room. She placed the music machine on Barkin's desk, turned to the class and smiled. "My report is on a piece of religious poetry that was turned into a Gregorian Chant in the eighth century."
"Good Lord," Barkin swore low as his head fell into his hands. He'd always been a sucker for Gregorian Chants.
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Author's Notes: Yes, I watched a bit of "G-Force" the other night and came up with this story in the exact same way Ron came up with his project for Latin Class. Life does imitate art. I also thought this was very appropriate since Ron seems to have a personal connection with the Roman goddess. Him and his dumb luck!