Love Is Blind

by playingbackathousandmemories

A Sharlie fic.

Chapter 1

Sarah walked into her geography class and sat down, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She set her books down on the table in front of her and noticed that the desk opposite hers was empty. She sighed heavily and her shoulders slumped slightly. They soon perked back up just as quickly when she noticed the owner of the desk walking briskly through the door.

Sarah suddenly forgot how to breathe and her mind went into overdrive trying to piece together a suitable greeting, trying to keep her face composed and just trying to control the general flailing her insides were doing.

"Hey Chaz," Sarah opted for the newcomers nickname.

"Hi," Charlie responded. He flashed a smile and set his books down opposite her. Sarah almost stopped breathing. That smile, it was so perfect. How could anyone be that perfect and not know it? How could he punish them all with his flawlessness? It should be illegal to be that flawless, Sarah pondered.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked frowning in worry. Sarah realised she had been staring and her cheeks flushed. She ducked her head and tore her eyes away from him.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine," Sarah was thankful when the teacher walked in immediately and started the lesson with no hesitation. Everyone opened up their workbooks and settled down for the double period. As soon as the teacher explained their work chatter started up immediately.

After a few minutes of silence between the pair Sarah wondered if she should speak up. However, speaking up meant quite possibly ruining all chances of capable thought. Just the way he was concentrating on his work made Sarah's IQ drop dramatically. Charlie struck up a conversation for which Sarah was glad and they talked about trivial things for a while.

Charlie's phone suddenly buzzed and he quickly checked it, gradually smiling while reading the message. He texted a reply and set it down only to have it buzz again 30 seconds later. The process repeated a few times in during which Sarah and Charlie were still trying to continue their conversation which kept getting broken off.

"Sarah?" Charlie suddenly asked frowning slightly after just putting his phone down.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you're a really good friend and all," Sarah winced internally at the word friend. Yeah, friend, and that's all she would ever be. "And I was just wondering if you could help me with something."

"Of course, what's wrong?" Sarah entered the question apprehensively wondering what on earth he could possibly want her help for. They were really good friends – again with that word – but Charlie did have a habit of occasionally getting into trouble.

"I met this girl a few weeks ago and we've been texting back and forth and I just wondered because ya'know, you're a girl – how do I ask her out?" Charlie blurted out as though it had been crossing his mind for ages.

Although his bluntness and haste was endearing Sarah couldn't help but die inside. It actually physically hurt her as though someone had just made a massive gaping hole inside her. A hole that wouldn't be fixed the way scars couldn't heal – a constant reminder. It was the hurt that was ice cold and made you want to crawl into yourself and never move.

Time was immobile while her thoughts were going a million miles an hour. Screaming inside her head and flitting back and forth only briefly – so briefly in fact that she only got glimpses of the frenzied state her mind had been turned to. It was like she couldn't breathe and all she could do was stare at the boy who she loved. The only pain in loving someone the way she loved Charlie was the knowing that he could never love her back.

She was the girl he depended on, he trusted. It would never be enough though. He couldn't see her – properly of course. Love is blind; the only problem was that his love was so blind that he couldn't see her.

Through the haze of her emotions Sarah had managed to shove them aside – that was the best way, she thought. Lock them up, shove them in a corner and return to them later.

"Do it simply but affectionately. You have to meet up with her, if you ever ask a girl out through text or a phone call – she will hate you. Don't go over the top, you've only known her for a few weeks and it's not like you're asking her to marry you. So keep it simple but make sure you show her that you care." Sarah went on autopilot and the words just came out. No emotion, just automatically she gave her advice.

Charlie's face broke out into relief. "Thank you so much Sarah. Where would I be without you? Thank you, that's probably the best way. She's a girl who doesn't really do over the top – she's more laid back. I don't even know how I got that lucky; remind me to show you a picture of her. She is just beautiful." Charlie rambled on and with each word Sarah locked her emotions away. She couldn't afford to have him find out now, especially after he's just trusted her enough to ask her how he should ask someone out. No, she couldn't ruin this friendship.

Even though Sarah locked the emotions up it didn't stop them from piercing her immediately after he'd spoken them and it definitely didn't stop them from spilling over each other as there was just too many of them to keep away. They tumbled over and over each other, seeping through the cracks in the barrier she'd built in her head. That barrier had dealt with so much that it was started to crack with the new emotions. It was starting to bend and break by the time she got home. As soon as she realised there was no one else home she slid to the floor in her bathroom. Tears blurred her vision and made her disorientated. Tears racing each other down her face and slipping onto her fingers and from there they splashed onto the tiled floor.

Her head pounded as she tilted it back and leant it against the wall. She suddenly felt exhausted and achy. Why did love hurt so much? Sarah had read so many fairy tales that mesmerized her. Weren't they about love and happy endings? But Sarah soon learned that she wasn't a princess and this was in no way a fairy tale. It wasn't even a happy ending. It was cold and heartless and tore her to pieces.

Chapter 2

Eyes sore and heavy lidded, exhausted and achy; this was how Sarah woke up the next morning. She forced herself to get up out of bed and get ready. She regretted this decision as soon as she got to school.

Charlie bounded up to her as soon as he spotted Sarah. He broke away mid-sentence from his other friends and ran up to her. His beaming eyes and gorgeous smile stopped Sarah dead. Caught in his mesmerizing eyes she only stared at him. Until he hugged her.

"Sarah! Thank you so much! She said yes!" Charlie said while taking Sarah in his arms. "I was so nervous but I just came out with it and she, I can't believe it, but she said yes! Just, thank you so much for the advice! Seriously, you're the best."

Charlie ran off back to his friends who were seated on the tables by the flower beds while Sarah just stood there. Charlie freaking Amos had just hugged her. He had actually put his arms around her and his face had been literally just inches from hers. She was short and he was so tall that he had to bend down. His hair had tickled her skin; it was so soft and perfect. Sarah stood there memorizing the way he felt, the way he had put her arms around her. Her mind wandered with thoughts of more hugs, more Charlie to memorize. Every time Charlie hugged her was magical.

Sarah, stormed off to her first class, which she had with Charlie. At least he was seated across the classroom from her. Sarah, sucked in a deep breath to cease the tears in her eyes and opened the door to her classroom. She checked the clock on the wall as she sat down. Six and a half hours until school finished. She could do this. She only had half of her classes with him today. She could do this. She second hand seemed to tick so slowly, her mind teased her as the hand stopped and started. Each stop took longer than the one before it, or so she thought. Sarah slumped down onto the desk and mumbled to herself.

The chair next to her moved and out of her peripheral view she saw someone mimic her pose. Sarah turned her head on her side and leant it on her arms. She did a little double take, her eyes widening at the face in front of her. She thought she'd gotten rid of him. She thought he'd be with his friends across the other side of the classroom. Why was he here?

"What's wrong Miss Sarah?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing."

"Right." Charlie drawled, his southern accent came out slightly.

"Really I'm fine, just tired." Sarah fake yawned just to prove her case.

"Well, if you say so." He rolled his eyes playfully.

"I do say so." Sarah smiled.

Charlie just stared at Sarah, searching for anything. A waver in her eyes, a flicker of truth. She stared back at him, keeping up her pretence. Six and a half hours she kept reminding herself. Six and a half hours.

"Amos! Back to your seat." Sarah's teacher came in to the classroom barking orders. For once in her life she was grateful he'd come in when he had. She could feel herself starting to break and crumble. It had only been ten minutes she cursed herself.

Sarah had managed to withstand almost two years of torture. Having to watch Charlie every day, talk to him every day. Yet, she never said what she really wanted to say. They were almost best friends; they had nearly every single subject together, they'd hang out together on weekends and most days Charlie would sit with Sarah and her friends at lunch. They talked about everything, including Charlie's crushes and break-ups.

Sarah specifically remembered one night when Charlie and his ex-girlfriend had broken up. It was in the early stages of their friendship and instead of going to his best friend's house, he went to hers. He just showed up on her doorstep looking lost. He couldn't even form a sentence properly, he was so upset. Sarah let him in looking worried and when she asked if he was okay, Charlie completely lost it. She held him while he cried and when he finally stopped they talked all night. The next morning they woke up at opposite ends of Sarah's bed. That was a turning point. That was when Sarah realised she loved Charlie and that was when they became best friends; the southern athlete and the whimsical Australian.

At lunch time Sarah went to the office complaining of stomach cramps. The bright yellow walls and what were supposed to be encouraging but were in fact bad cartoons almost made her actually feel sick. The receptionist let her leave school early without a second thought and as she walked past the sick bay she caught a glimpse of the few others with buckets littered around the place. Sarah didn't blame her for letting her go early. A virus had been going around school lately; the receptionist had her hands full.

Instead of going home Sarah drove around town. All she needed was a beautiful distraction without Charlie around. If she went home she'd have nothing to do but listen to her thoughts, whereas if she went into town she was sure she could find something to do.

It was half an hour before twelve o'clock and despite it being a school day, everywhere was buzzing with activity. Tourists littered the place in ice-cream parlours and gift shops. Sarah drove through the streets aimlessly until the shopping mall in her area caught her eye as she came up to a red light. She pulled into one of the few car parks and found a space near the entrance. Retail therapy – she thought as she wandered in – works every time.

As soon as she walked through the sliding doors a blast of cold air and the buzz of talking hit her. Just as she meandered into a quirky looking shop that she regularly visited her phone rang.

"Hi Lilly," Sarah said into the iPhone.

"Hi! Where did you go?" Lilly sounded like she was in the cafeteria. A wave of buzzing voices from the phone mingled with those in the shopping centre and Sarah struggled to hear Lilly.

"I wasn't feeling well and the lady at the front desk let me go home."

"You're not at home though are you?"

"...No," Sarah sighed.

"Has Charlie finally gotten too much for you?" Lilly asked knowingly. There was a reason Lilly was her other best friend.

"Yeah. I mean, why does he have to look so perfect and be so perfect? I'm dying here! I'm suffocating in his gorgeousness. I've been his best friend for years and I still can't get over him." Sarah leant against a nearby pole. She could hear Lilly giggle on the other end of the line. "It's not funny Lil!"

"Yes it is. You two are just perfect!"

"Yeah well, tell that to him." Sarah deadpanned.

"Maybe I need to. Heaven knows that boy needs some sense talked into him." Lilly threatened as Sarah's pleas went unheard.

"No Lilly, don't tell him! Lilly? Are you listening to me? I swear, if you tell him I will hurt you."

"Okay, okay. Keep calm woman. I won't tell him, yet." Lilly cackled through the phone. "Oh he's here, I've got to go." Sarah heard a click of the line disconnecting and the muffled voices from Lilly's end cut off. She lowered the phone from her ear and suddenly felt very alone. Funny really since she was surrounded by people. Moving in and out of shops they all seemed in control and on a mission. Sarah felt so small and invisible. She sat down in a coffee shop where she had an excellent view of the whole piazza. Sarah took to watching people, she wondered about what everyone was going through as the passed by her. Were they in the same position? Or worse? Were their lives fantastic or falling apart like Sarah's seemed to be doing? So many seemed so confident but maybe they were so close to breaking. How can you tell?

Sarah payed for her coffee and walked back into the quirky shop she had just been talking to Lilly in. She hadn't had time to properly look at all the wonders the shop hid. The small girl wandered about the shop sometimes pausing every now and then to study something. The candle section caught her eye and she strolled over there. She picked up a few rose candles as she had noticed she was running out. They were light pink and a red swirly pattern covered the outside; these were the ones that Sarah usually bought. She once again left the store after paying and browsed through the rest of the mall.

Before he knew it the time was three o'clock. Sarah knew she would have to get home before her parents did – they'd be extremely mad with her if they found out she had skipped school. Quite frankly Sarah couldn't remember a time when they weren't mad at her for something but she was definitely not in the mood to be yelled at even more today.

Today had been Sarah's perfect distraction. Now she just had to make it to tomorrow. Tomorrow she would not give in, she would suffer school. She was going to have to if she wanted to make it out of here. Sarah had plans for her future and if she kept ditching school because of a boy she'd be stuck here forever. As much as she couldn't bear to endure heartbreak she wanted to get out of here more than anything. If she didn't, she was sure she'd go insane.

Chapter 3

Thankfully her parents had come home late last night meaning Sarah had managed to almost successfully avoid them. There was a bit of yelling at each other from all three sides of the battle lines but Sarah managed to persevere through it. The curly blonde headed curl was on her way to school with Taylor Swift blasting from the speakers. Taylor was the only person that could help Sarah through the bad times. She almost looked exactly like Taylor too! Constantly she would get people coming up to her and saying, "you know, you look a lot like Taylor Swift." Those little comments would completely turn her day around. Even though Sarah was too far gone to be saved – too many scars and a heart that was so broken and mangled it could never be fixed again – Taylor kept her head just above the water.

"Wednesday – half way through the school week," Sarah said to herself as she locked her car. Almost immediately she spotted the familiar dark hair and confident stance that she had caught herself staring at so many times before. It was almost an automatic response for her – as soon as she got to school – to find Charlie in the wave of students.

He was talking with his friends where they usually hung out before school, lounging on the tables that scattered the lawns. Sarah continued on to her locker where she met Lilly. She stared at her almost disbelievingly.

"Lilly, what did you do?" Sarah asked slowly.

"Do you like it?" Lilly twirled around; her newly coloured and cut hair flowed outwards with her actions.

"Oh my gosh," Sarah whispered and she leant forward to touch her best friends hair. "I love it! It looks fantastic and very sexy." Sarah laughed and did a sultry face.

"Of course," Lilly twirled her – now red instead of brown – hair around her finger. She had lots of layers and her hair was now just above the nape of her neck. It definitely suited her, Sarah thought. "Uh oh, trouble coming right behind you." Lilly leant in and whispered in Sarah's ear. Sarah promptly turned around and saw what her best friend was talking about. Yep, there was trouble alright.

Coming down the hallway was two girls – one in skin tight jeans and the other in a very short dress. Their sneers that were permanently etched onto their faces cleared the hallway for them. Everyone knew those two girls were quite capable of making someone else's reputation plunge in a matter of seconds. So, everyone stayed well out of their way. However, that was impossible or Sarah and Lilly who often found themselves as the victims of the taunts.

"Oh lovely, if it isn't Grace and Ashleigh," Sarah sighed. "Here we go again," she muttered under her breath as the girls stopped directly in front of Lilly and Sarah.

"Oh pity, I thought we'd gotten rid of you for good," Grace scoffed; it was any wonder that she could breathe let alone talk in those jeans of hers.

"We don't want you spreading your disease around this school," Ashleigh tagged on, "oh, and while you're leaving take hobo over here too." She gestured to Lilly's new haircut. Sarah and Lilly just rolled their eyes; they both knew Sarah wasn't sick and all Lilly had received up until now was compliments on her new look. Sarah slammed her locker door shut and they both walked off leaving Grace and Ashleigh in their wake.

"Gosh, why do they have to be so mean?" Sarah exploded. "Like, seriously, no one likes them anyway so why do they keep giving people reasons to hate them? Why don't they realise that all they're doing is destroying people? Do you know how many teens commit suicide due to bullying a year? A hell of a lot, that's what and them two are contributing to that!" She collapsed onto a bench and brought her knees up to her chest.

"Geez, calm down there Warrior, oh, nice hair Lilly!" Sarah looked up as Charlie walked over to them.

"Thank you! You're not looking so bad yourself," Lilly commented.

"Why must you keep calling me that?" Sarah smiled.

"Because you're middle name means Warrior and after hearing that little rant I've decided that you're even more of a BAMF than I originally thought." Charlie nodded. Lilly just laughed when Sarah narrowed her eyes at Charlie.

"I'm not a BAMF, at all."

"Uh, yeah you are." Charlie chuckled. "So I see that you've already seen the devil spawn today?" He sat next to Sarah a little too close for her brain to function properly. He looked up at Lilly who had her arms crossed in front of them.

"Can you tell? She insulted "The BAMF" over here," "Am not!" "said that they didn't want her spreading her disease everywhere and then the say my hair makes me look like a hobo! I am not a hobo. Do I look like a hobo to you?" Sarah and Charlie shock their heads very firmly as Lilly fumed with rage.

"You both look lovely!" Charlie said, Sarah tried to hide her sudden flush. "Don't listen to those morons, obviously they're blind." Charlie nudged Sarah lightly and she lifted her head to smile at him. "Don't worry Lilly, we like your hair at least. Just because they don't doesn't mean it looks bad.

"Yeah, they're still evil though," Lilly stomped her foot.

"Well of course they are. Devil spawns; that's what they are." The girls smirked and Charlie stood up dragging Sarah with him. "C'mon that was the bell, we'd better go." The trio walked off to their first classes and Lilly and Sarah parted ways with Charlie.

"So there's a fair on the weekend and I already talked to Charlie and he's up for it. Wanna come?" Lilly rambled on as they were walking to English. Indeed there was a fair; Sarah had seen the flyers up all around town. She'd seen at least fifty when she went to the mall the other day – okay maybe she was exaggerating but still, there were heaps stuck up everywhere. She had to admit though, it did look pretty awesome.

"Yeah, it sounds like fun. What day?" Sarah was already planning out her outfit depending on the time of day and weather.

"I was thinking Saturday night? The fair closes around eleven pm," Lilly and Sarah turned into the English classroom and found a double seat to sit at.

"Sounds good. I'll pick everyone up and be round your place at five?"

"Awesome..." Lilly was cut off when their teacher entered the classroom and the lesson began.

Sarah's favourite subject was English, she was always writing songs and reading books. She found that the fictional world was much more interesting than reality. She could let her imagination be as real as she wanted it to be and she often let herself get caught up in it. That was the only way she could escape. The scars that littered parts of her body trapped and suffocated her. She wasn't out of the red zone yet but she was getting there.

Though this teacher was rather strict and boring, Sarah let herself get caught up in the words and language that he brought them. For one hour Sarah didn't care about anything. She didn't care about Charlie's girlfriend or her parents or the future. She only cared about sinking deep into her imagination.

Chapter 4

Saturday came in a blur and before Sarah knew it she was driving to Lilly's house. Only a few minutes before she had been halfway to Charlie's house before realising that having Charlie in her car, with just the two of them could be potentially awkward and very destructive of her IQ. Coming to that realisation, Sarah now found herself on her way to Lilly's house in order to pick her up before then moving to Charlie's house.

"Close save," she breathed as she turned into Lilly's driveway. Only a few seconds later Lilly came flying out of her house yelling goodbyes to her family and launched herself into the passenger's seat of Sarah's car.

"Okay," Sarah said slowly turning away, "any reason you're particularly excited?"

"I'm just really happy that we're doing something together. Just the three of us! The Three Musketeers, that's us! We need swords, don't they sell blow up swords at carnivals? We can get some there!" Lilly all but yelled. She was bouncing in her seat with her bag on her lap.

"Lil, how many coffees did you have today?" Sarah

"Well, I had two energy drinks and a few coffees...I think. I don't know, time moves fast on the weekends."

"Yep, okay no more coffee for you today," Sarah nodded.

"What! No! I'll be good and sit still like a normal person, just give me my caffeine!" Lilly tugged on Sarah's sleeve then quickly snapped back into a sitting position. She sat very still with her hands glued to her sides. Sarah just stared at her in amusement.

"Don't judge me," Lilly relaxed but her knee kept bouncing up and down.

"Uh huh," Sarah turned away in disbelief. As they drove to Charlie's house Lilly kept humming some random tune that changed every thirty seconds. After a few minutes she switched on the radio and continued to switch back and forth between stations.

Charlie's first words after getting in the car were, "how much caffeine has this girl had?"

"A lot," Sarah sighed, "tonight is going to be fun."

"Damn right it is!" Charlie pumped his fist in the air and Sarah stifled a giggle, "oh! Emily, y'know, my girlfriend called. She's going to be at the fair too! I can introduce you guys." That stopped Sarah's giggle. Her mind went blank and for a moment she felt nothing. She was floating and then falling. Hurt pierced her and her head went fuzzy. She desperately tried very hard to concentrate on the road so as not to kill them all but it was proving to be very difficult.

Lilly immediately stopped her humming and slowly turned around to the backseat where Charlie was sitting. She shook her head in a mock pitying expression.

"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. You poor naïve boy," she said whimsically.

"Am I missing something?" Chaz turned to Sarah who kept her eyes straight forward and mind focused on the road.

"No idea what she's talking about," Sarah lied smoothly when in fact she knew everything Lilly was talking about. If Lilly just happened to tell Charlie now how Sarah felt about him, Sarah was sure that Lilly would never see daylight again. Lilly turned to smile sweetly at Sarah who retaliated with her best cold stare she could muster under the certain circumstances.

"Oh Lord, I will never understand girls. Ever," Charlie slumped in his seat.

"It's probably best if you don't," Lilly turned around sympathetically and patted his knee.

Sarah turned into a space that was unfortunately quite a walk from the entrance. As they neared closer to the lit fairground they found it was packed. People walked through the brightly lit pathways, all different coloured stalls next to them with different games and things for sale. The Ferris wheel spun around slowly with groups or couples seated in the carriages. Every now and then it would stop to let people on and off. As the trio neared the fair they could hear the buzz of many people talking, they would get snippets of conversations before the talkers disappeared and a new conversation reached them.

Sarah walked slowly as she was completely fascinated by the fairground. She always had been since she was little and often Sarah stopped to look at little knick knacks a store was selling or to watch someone playing a game. Lilly was in front as she was still intoxicated by caffeine and therefore excited by everything, Charlie was quite capable of going with the flow and he kept making sure that Lilly stayed with them and Sarah didn't get caught in the crowd. The crowded fair made sure that the trio got separated a few times and each time Charlie could feel Sarah lagging behind he would take her hand and drag her along. Just his touch would make her feel electrified and excitable. It made everything seem much more beautiful and bright. Sarah was already marvelling at everything in the fair but each time Chaz would grab her hand or even smile at her made everything shine that little bit brighter.

They stopped for something to eat in the massive food area. Plastic tables and chairs were set up in areas around the place and a massive oak tree stood in the centre. Charlie went to find a table and Sarah and Lilly were ordering food. They were currently in line at a pancake stall when Sarah could see a dark shape approaching her from her side view. When she turned she was met with a boy of her age. His hair was brown and falling just in his eyes that glinted green from the fair lights. He was ahead taller than her and stood behind them with his hands in his pockets. Sarah marvelled at just how much he reminded her of Charlie. His hair was shorter than Charlies though but he had the same hair colour and stood in the same way as Charlie did. He smiled at her when she turned to look at him and she smiled shyly back.

Sarah and Lilly contemplated on their food choices, each of them rethinking their decisions. Lilly finally came to a conclusion but Sarah was known for being the most indecisive person in her grade so naturally she was reconsidering what she was to eat and it was taking her a long time.

"Y'know maybe I should just have a plain one," she tilted her head to the side and bit her lip while looking at the board with the menu on it. "Oh, but there's apple and cinnamon rolls too or maybe I should have chocolate with it. Ugh, they all just look so yummy and I want to eat it all but I can't and just ugh. What should I get?" Sarah turned to Lilly but was met with a deeper voice and a strong southern accent.

"I've heard that the apple and cinnamon rolls are fantastic," the boy behind the two girls leant forward and said. "My brother just had one and he swears he's going to marry the woman who makes them," he nodded to the woman in the stall preparing food.

Sarah giggled at this as she noticed that the woman was very old. "She's like, 70 years old."

At this the boy shook his head in a mock shameful way, "yeah, I have no idea what goes through that boys head. Oh, I'm sorry Miss. I haven't introduced myself, I'm Will." Will stuck his hand out and Sarah took it. She noticed that his handshake was warm and inviting.

"I'm Sarah and this is Lilly." Lilly waved and smiled then moved up to take their order leaving Sarah and Will to talk. "Are you from around here?" Sarah asked, she hadn't seen him around.

"No, I just moved here a few days ago with my family."

"Oh, where did you live before?"

"I lived in Nashville but we moved here for my Dad's job."

"Wow, Nashville! That's so cool," Sarah turned slightly red once she realised that may have sounded nerdy. Luckily he didn't seem to notice her sudden blush.

Will was just about to respond when a boy who looked similar to him but a few years younger called him over. That must be his brother, Sarah thought.

"Here's my number, you should call me soon," Will said at her while writing a number on her palm. He started to walk off but Sarah grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"Or, you could call me too," Sarah took his pen and wrote her number on his palm. She let go of her wrist and smiled at him.

"See you around," he winked and walked over to his family. Will looked back and smiled at her before waving. Sarah waved to him and smiled to herself. She flailed slightly on the spot when he was out of spot and let out a little squeal. Maybe guys do like her, she thought, and he was very cute and really lovely. There's no point chasing after a guy who already has a girlfriend. Maybe I should ask him out? She shook her head, she was way too nervous to do that.

Sarah jumped when a hand tapped her shoulder; she quickly turned around but relaxed when she noticed it was Charlie. He had a weird expression, the type that showed a thousand emotions but were so jumbled it was impossible to deceiver. With a jolt Sarah completely forgot about Will, it was Charlie that she liked. How could she have forgotten beautiful Charlie? No one could compare at all to him.

"Who was that?" he asked staring at where Will had disappeared just moments ago.

"His name is Will, he's new to town," Sarah told him.

"You seemed excited about getting his number," Charlie pointed to Sarah's palm with the numbers on them.

"Yeah, well he was really nice," Sarah smiled up at Charlie.

"Charlie!" Both Sarah and Chaz turned at the high pitched squeal. A girl who was taller than Sarah and just slightly shorter than Charlie walked over to the two of them. She had brown straight hair and was wearing completely inappropriate clothes for a country fair. Heels, really, Sarah thought, and what is this, visitor day?

"Hi Chloe," Charlie wrapped a hand around her waist as the tall girl kissed him. Sarah's heart plummeted. Oh, so this was Charlie's girlfriend. Suddenly, she felt like crying and running anywhere, anywhere but here. "Oh, Sarah this is Chloe. Chloe this is Sarah," Charlies hand was still wrapped securely around Chloe's waist, Sarah noticed.

To be polite Sarah smiled sweetly at Chloe who just stared back with venom in her eyes. Charlie couldn't see his girlfriend's hostility and just beamed at them both. Sarah was feeling completely heartbroken which she found absurd since she'd never even dated the guy. But she was also completely confused. Why was Charlie dating this girl? Chloe was completely different to every single other girl he'd dated. The other girls were country girls and very down to earth but Chloe? She was completely out of place, it didn't make any sense.

Lilly stood next to Sarah with three plates of pancakes balanced along her arms. "Thank you so very much for helping guys. I really appreciate it," she rolled her eyes. "Oh, uh hi?" Lilly turned to Chloe and then looked questioningly at Charlie.

"Oh sorry, Lil. This is Chloe," Lilly's eyes flickered down to were Charlies hand was situated and back up to Chloe's face.

"Hi!" Lilly smiled but there was something else in her eyes. It was darkness that only Sarah could detect. They'd been best friends for long enough to know when something was up with each of them. "Well, are we eating or not?" Lilly bounded over to a spare table and set the plates that were precariously laid on her down onto the table.

Chloe pulled a face and pulled back a little. "Well, I probably should leave now. Bye Chaz," she leant forward and pressed her lips to Charlie's a little longer than necessary, looked at the two girls, turned on her heel and walked away.

"Jesus, what's wrong with her?" Lilly rolled her eyes and sat down.

"Lilly! That's my girlfriend you're talking about," Charlie said indignantly but he didn't seem to be too bothered about defending her. "I know she can be a bit, y'know, but still."

"Yeah, yeah," Lilly waved a hand at him. Sarah made sure she kept her eyes downwards not wishing to take part in this conversation. She was still trying to get over Chloe. Seriously why did Charlie pick her! She was worse than his other girlfriends whom were too nice and so Sarah felt bad about hating them. With Chloe it was so easy to hate her but so hard to watch Charlie with her knowing she was the completely wrong girl. At least his numerous other girlfriends made him happy. Chloe was a handful and Charlie seemed to know that judging by his and Lilly's conversation. "'A bit, y'know' is a very big understatement there. Just so you know," Lilly raised her eyes at him.

"Ok, fine, she is high maintenance but we can have fun! She's actually a really nice person once you get to know her."

"Like the way sharks and snakes are nice," Lilly muttered.

"What was that?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing!" Lilly smiled innocently at him and Charlie just narrowed his eyes at her.

"You guys, really? Why are you fighting over this? Charlie, you know Lil' she's never happy with who you date. Lilly, Charlie can go out with whoever he wants. Even if she's completely wrong," Sarah breathed the last part so no one would hear her.

"Fine, fine, we'll stop," Charlie then proceeded to shove his whole pancake in his mouth. Chocolate was dripping onto his plate and half of the pancake was falling out of his mouth. Sarah and Lilly almost choked on what they were eating or drinking as they laughed. Charlie grinned with his mouth full of pancake, his eyes glinted as the lights combined with the stars lit up the countryside.

Time seemed to stand still. This was what Sarah had been craving for – just the three of them having fun and nothing to worry about. She had missed this, this simplicity. Growing up was overrated and she could not fathom how anyone would want to grow up. It only brought pain and suffering.

Chapter 5

The night passed by in a blur and Sarah soon found herself dropping Lilly off at her house. There was no avoiding the "Charlie and Sarah" car time as Lilly's house was closer and it only made sense to drop her off. Charlie and Sarah sat in silence for the first few minutes of the car ride until Charlie decided to speak up.

"So, this Will guy huh?" Charlie started, it was obvious that it had been bothering him for sometime now.

"What about him?" Sarah frowned.

"He seemed to like you," he tilted his head and moved a little in his seat.

"What?" Sarah asked incredulously. "No way, why would he like me? No guy has ever liked me so why would a guy that I've just met like me? That's stupid." Charlie turned to stare at Sarah with disbelieving eyes, in the lamp lights it looked like they were about to pop out of his head.

"Are you serious?" He exclaimed. "Are you actually kidding me? Why wouldn't guys like you Sarah? How can you say that?"

"Ok, ok, geez, calm down!" Sarah said surprised.

"Why would you even think that?" Charlie asked quietly.

"I don't know, it's just that there are so many other beautiful amazing girls and I'm just y'know, me. I'm boring, I get too excited and I let myself fall way too easily. Just, why would any guy like that?" Sarah shrugged, blinking back tears; this was always a sensitive topic for her.

"Stop right there, you are amazing and beautiful. Seriously, look at your goddamn gorgeous hair! I've never seen a person with hair like yours, well except for Taylor Swift but I've never seen someone face to face with hair like yours. Your eyes are gorgeous and I know for a fact that many guys have gotten completely captivated by them. All of your personality is what makes you, you and if people can't appreciate that and see that, that's what makes you beautiful then they don't matter." Charlie said simply as though he was merely stating a fact. But to Sarah it was more than that, to hear Charlie say that to her was more than she could bear. The tears slipped from her eyes before she knew it and suddenly she was breaking down. Sarah quickly pulled the car over onto the side of the deserted street before resting her head on the steering wheel and crying.

"No, no, no, no, no. Sarah, listen to me, don't cry okay. Come here, I didn't mean to make you cry," Charlie rubbed Sarah's back comfortingly.

Sarah shook her head and managed to mutter a few words. "I'm not crying like that. I-I'm crying because you're the fir-first person whose ever said that to me."

"I think there's more you're not telling me Miss Sarah," Charlie always knew when Sarah was hiding something from her (well most of the time). "Look, I'll drive back to my place and we'll talk there – my parents are out tonight. Yours won't mind will they?"

"They won't care," miserably, Sarah opened her door and walked around the other side of the car. Charlie stopped her half way and hugged her tightly and Sarah rested her head in the crook of his neck while he shushed her. Charlie drove back to his house and he kept looking worriedly over a Sarah as she curled up in the passenger seat. He knew that something was wrong just by the act that whenever she was upset or hiding something she curled up into herself.

Charlie's house was warm and inviting; he made hot chocolate and set a mug down in front of Sarah. She was sitting in the one person couch in Chaz's living room. Still curled up and still crying she looked so vulnerable it hurt. Charlie sat opposite her and just stared. Sarah stared back. The few minutes that they stayed like that seemed like hours.

Sarah suddenly got up and walked to where her bag was. She was overcome with guilt as she felt like she shouldn't be worrying him with all this. She really had no business to be burdening him with her many problems. "I really should go, I'm sorry I randomly broke down on you like that. You shouldn't have had to see me like that. I'm really sorry," Sarah said all of this while hiding her face from Charlie and facing the other way to him. He shot up from his position on the other couch and grabbed her upper arm. Not tightly but not loosely; just enough so she wouldn't be able to escape.

"No, dammit Sarah. Tell me what's going on. Why did you start crying? Why have I never seen you cry? Why do you never talk about your family? Why do you keep apologizing? I want to know everything about you. You know everything about me and I don't know enough about you. We've been best friends for years but I don't know enough and it kills me so please just stay and talk. Talk about everything. Talk about your life, what it is like being you, your biggest fears and your daydreams. Tell me everything, I want to know and I'm guessing that you've been dying to get it out. You don't want to but you need to so please stay."

Sarah stopped trying to get away and hung her head in defeat. "Ok," she sighed. She knew he wouldn't give up now. Charlie let go of her and she plopped her bag back down. Sarah curled back up on the couch and rested her head on the arm of it. "What do you want to know?" She closed her eyes.

The broken girl could almost tell that this was going to be one of those 'changing moments', the one where everything is revealed and for once she couldn't care less. That was the first time in a long, long while that she'd cried in front of someone. She wouldn't let herself anymore; too many times she'd been hurt for that.

"Why did you cry when I said those things to you in the car? Shouldn't you be happy?" Charlie had a virtually permanent frown etched onto his face that had been there since Sarah had broken down.

"I've just…I've never heard someone say those things to me. I've been told too many times that I'm not good enough or not pretty enough; that no one would ever like me," Sarah sighed an opened her eyes. Charlie's eyes were shiny and he looked so upset but also angry. He sat down in front of the couch Sarah was seated on and leant it against the inside of the arm rest.

"Who's said those things to you? How could they say that? It's not true Sarah!" He looked so worried he might be sick but he also looked so angry he would start lashing out at everything.

"But it is true! Calm down," she said as she noticed Charlie was contort into indignation. "I've learned to deal with the taunts and teasing. It happens often enough so I'm used to it, I've realised that they're just saying the truth. " Sarah averted her eyes from Charlie's gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Charlie asked indignantly.

"I guess I just didn't want people to care anymore. There's really no point, I'm just going to destroy you. It's what I do, I let them come close to me then I tear them down and burn them out without realizing what I've done until it is too late. I've been let down so many times that I can't dream anymore. I don't let myself because it ends up in disappointment. I try not to expect anything but I keep making the same mistakes and it hurts so much I get so annoyed and upset. But I don't get upset and annoyed at the person who let me down. I get upset at myself for letting myself dream. I'm the one to blame for this big mess I'm in. I can't get out Charlie. I've tried but nothing works. I'm stuck here for good. Every now and then my walls break and everything comes flooding out. It happens at the worst of times but it happens. I'm a broken mess and I don't even know why you still want to be friends with me. I'm just some stupid dreamer who keeps hurting herself." All this time Charlie kept silent. He took Sarah's hand when she said his name and held it tightly.

"Don't...don't say that. You're not stupid at all. Everything can be fixed, even you. I swear if you even think about giving up I will be even more on your case okay?" Charlie smiled. "You're the strongest person I know and I know you can get back up. You're a beautiful person but you don't know how to look after yourself. You look after other people and dedicate your time to make sure they're okay but there are times when you can put yourself first. To look after others you must first look after yourself. Don't be mad at yourself, everyone makes mistakes and sometimes it takes a while to sink in." Chaz ducked his head to retain Sarah's gaze. "Just...just answer me something. I don't know how it's going to come out and I'm sorry if this is insensitive. I've never asked someone this before. But...you haven't actually, y'know, physically hurt yourself before. Please don't lie to me, I need to know this. Just tell me the truth. Please." Charlies pleading tone made Sarah cave. Yesterday she would have lied; she would have said what Charlie wanted to hear. However, this was today and so much had changed since then and now.

Sarah took a shuddering breath, it shook and wavered so much that it gave her away. She squeezed her eyes shut making sure the tears didn't force their way out.

"Oh Sarah," Charlie's voice almost broke her. "Where?" Wordlessly, Sarah dragged her fingertips over her left arm and all up her right side from mid-thigh to her waist. Charlie's intake of breath made her head hurt like a thousand bullets had pierced her. She never meant to hurt him but that breath had changed everything. Suddenly, she didn't want to breathe anymore. It only hurt the people she loved so why did she even bother?

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No, don't be sorry. I don't want apologizes. What's done is done. All I want is a promise, a promise that you'll try to get better. But you don't have to do it alone. I'll be here with you helping every step of the way. I'm not leaving you okay?"

"Okay," Sarah's watery smile made Charlie grin back. Even though it was an exhausted smile it was a happy one.

"Now c'mon, you need to rest." Charlie pulled her up and led her up the staircase to his room. He pulled out one of his shirts and pyjama pants. "You're staying here tonight, I don't care what you say, and I'm not leaving you alone after tonight."

Charlie's shirt and pants where oversized and so Sarah had to roll the top of the pants down so they fitted better and she rubbed all of her makeup of and tied her hair up in a bun. As she walked out of Charlie's bathroom she noticed that Charlie hadn't made any makeshift bed anywhere.

"You're sleeping in my bed," Charlie said, he was already changed and turning the covers down.

"But where will you sleep?" Sarah didn't want Chaz sleeping on the floor or the couch in his own home.

"My bed?" He looked at her like it was obvious. Inside Sarah was melting but on the outside she stayed calm. This was like her dream come true and there was no way she would mess it up.

"Okay then," Sarah said and walked to Chaz's bed where he was already climbing in, then she stopped. "Wait, you have a girlfriend."

"And..."

"Well, it wouldn't be right for me to sleep in your bed with you while you were dating someone."

"I'm sure she won't mind if I don't tell her," Charlie shrugged. That was all Sarah needed as confirmation. She climbed into Charlie's bed and sunk down into the mattress.

"Wow, your bed is comfy," Sarah exclaimed. Charlie didn't answer but was instead focused on her left arm. He gently took her wrist and dipping his free hand in the water beside his bed he let the water drip onto her clean arm. Rubbing softly the makeup came off revealing Sarah's skin. Sarah closed her eyes and turned away from Charlie as he revealed the faded scars. Some newer than others and some almost transparent.

"I'm sorry, I just...I needed to see it to believe it," Charlie said softly.

"It's okay I understand. Don't worry about it," she smiled softly at Charlie. His hair was falling in his eyes and he looked so worried. "Stop worrying about me," Sarah sighed.

"How can I not worry about you?"

"Easy, just don't."

"Well I am."

"But why though."

"Because I want to."

Sarah was about to retort but the full effect of his words hit her. No one had ever told her that they wanted to worry about her. It made her feel elated and cared for. It was a new feeling and rather foreign but welcome all the same.

"Thanks," all this time Charlie had been rubbing her scars softly, like he was reassuring her that it was okay. This did not go unnoticed by Sarah who felt so emotionally exhausted but so incredibly relieved that she'd gotten so much off her chest. For once Sarah didn't feel nervous around him, she didn't have butterflies in her stomach. Charlie was here for her and he was still her best friend. She'd rather not say anything than lose him. They were comfortable in the position they lay in, Charlie at one side and Sarah a healthy distance away from him.

"Sarah, I have to tell someone," Charlie suddenly blurted out after a while. "I can't...I can't just watch you destroy yourself. I'm going to try my hardest to help but what if that isn't enough? You need someone else."

"No, Chaz please no. I'll be fine, stop worrying. I'm serious," Sarah looked him straight in the eye but Charlie still didn't waver. They were both fighting a battle with each other, eye to eye, waiting for even a flicker of defeat from each other. Charlie's phone rang but he didn't pick it up, it lit up and buzzed on the table. He still didn't look away or even flinch.

"You should probably get that," Sarah said without looking away.

"Nah, it's probably Chloe," at this Sarah widened her eyes in surprise.

"I thought you liked her since you're y'know, dating and all."

"I do, I do! It's just that since I asked her out she's been well...overprotective I guess," still his phone buzzed. "I don't know, I want to break up with her but we've only been going out for less than a week," eventually after continuous vibrating Charlie picked up his phone.

"Hello?" He said into it, Sarah could hear the sound of a girl talking on the other end of the line but was unable to hear what she was saying. "Hi babe," oh, so it was Chloe. Sarah rolled her eyes but Charlie just grinned at her and did a mock impression of Sarah rolling her eyes. "Sorry, you can't come over right now...yeah, because Sarah is over. I'm spending quality time with her," Chaz rolled his eyes – seriously this time – at something Chloe had said. Chloe's voice sounded louder and more persistent through the phone, Chaz didn't say anything but instead hung up on her.

Sarah looked quizzically at the brunet who rolled over and put his phone on the table next to his bed. "She wanted to come over at eleven o'clock at night," Chaz said while looking at the clock which read eleven o'clock. "Then when I told her that you were over she started screaming," Charlie shrugged. "You're more important than she will ever be so I said she can't come over," he said explaining it to Sarah who raised her eyebrows at those words. She would be more important than Chloe? Sarah smiled at Charlie then she uncontrollably started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Charlie asked who was smiling at the girl who was doubled over in laughter.

"I don't know," she responded. Her breathing was hitched and she was shaking. Charlie couldn't help but laugh at this poor girl, he hadn't seen her laugh like that in ages. Infected by her adorable laugh soon enough they were both laughing at nothing and everything.

It was a simple moment that said a thousand words and told a thousand stories. It was a thank you in a million languages. It was the calm before the storm. It was the sun and the rain. It was a wish that came true and it was nothing and everything. It was a thousand things rolled into one simple laugh.

There they lay side by side waiting for the laughs to ebb away and eventually falling into the borderline state of being awake and asleep. That was the state Sarah was in most of the night, the beautiful and tragic consciousness. No matter how much weight had been lifted off her, she was most definitely not out of the dark yet.

Chapter 6

Sarah blinked, sunlight flooding her vision and illuminating her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was that she wasn't in her bed and the second thing was that Charlie was lying next to her. His hands were behind his head and he was staring up at the ceiling. Noticing that Sarah was awake he turned on his side and stared at her.

"Good morning!" He said cheerfully.

"Morning," Sarah stretched and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Charlie bounded out of bed with way too much enthusiasm than necessary for that time of the morning. "No," Sarah groaned as Charlie tried to pull her out of bed. "It's too early."

"It's only seven thirty, perfect time to start our day."

"Our day?"

"Yes, we're going out and doing something or staying inside or both!" Charlie said while looking through his wardrobe. "Nothing is going to fit you, I'll be right back," and he rushed out of the room leaving Sarah utterly confused. He was way too awake in the morning.

"Chaz?" She called.

"Ya, I'm in here," Sarah followed his voice into his parent's room. "My mum's clothes should fit you, she's short too," Charlie grinned cheekily at her.

"I'm not short," Sarah put her hands on her hips and the taller boy mocked her to which Sarah stuck her tongue out at him.

"She should have a "Sarah" type dress I'm sure," a few moments later Charlie crowed in success bringing out a beautiful summery dress that Sarah fell in love with.

"Do you think she'd be okay if I wore it?" Sarah bit her lip.

"Of course she'll be fine with it! It's one of her casual dresses so it's not like she'd be paranoid that it would get dirty or anything. Chill Sarah," Charlie handed over the dress and left Sarah to get changed in the room.

The day was spent at Charlie's house doing whatever they felt like. It was one of those relaxed days that feel like they should go on forever but inevitably end. Sarah baked and Charlie tried to help before Sarah made him sit down and watch. There was a reason his Mum stocked up on tins before his parents left on business trips. Although he wasn't allowed to help in the cooking department in fear of catastrophic results he was allowed to help in the devouring department which he excelled at.

Sarah and Charlie sat on the swing set in Charlie's back yard eating cupcakes in a comfortable silence. A few birds chirped and Sarah followed them with her eyes as they flitted around the garden. She was oblivious to Charlie's stare and only when the birds had disappeared and Sarah sneaked a glance at him through her eyelashes did she notice. Blushing slightly Sarah looked down at the hands in her lap and Charlie looked away.

"We need something new to do," Charlie tipped his head back and groaned.

"Oh my gosh, just relax and take a breather for like, five minutes," Sarah laughed and slapped a palm to her forehead.

"No, let's do something, we've cooked, played video games plus a hundred other things that happen to be done in the house. Let's go somewhere."

"Fine, where do you propose we go?" Sarah asked. It would be nice to go out but she was enjoying the time with Charlie and after last night everything seemed so foreign.

"Well...I know you hate horror movies..."

"Stop right there."

"Please Sarah? This one looks so good though! Please, please, please?" Charlie tilted his head and pulled his best puppy dog face. Sarah held his gaze for a few seconds before sighing.

"Fine then, if we must." Charlie pumped his fist in celebration and pulled Sarah up.

Twenty minutes later they were in the line to purchase two tickets to the latest horror movie. It had only come out a few days ago and the cinema was rather full. The two found some spare seats in the corner of the cinema which was probably best as Sarah was most definitely going to scream and it would be unwise to annoy everyone.

As the lights faded to black Sarah whispered, "y'know, it's never too late to turn back and leave now." Charlie patted her hand and laughed.

"C'mon, it'll be fun. Apparently it's really good!"

"Well, I guess I'll never find out because I'll be watching it with my hands over my eyes," Sarah said factually but not unkindly. Charlie just shook his head and laughed some more but soon quieted down as the movie started.

Just as Sarah predicted she spent most of the movie either covering her eyes or whisper screaming and jumping every time something popped out. She doesn't do well with horror movies at all. The dark cinema made it all the more terrifying, especially during the scary parts. She wasn't even following the plot which she usually did.

"I seriously hate you or making me do this," she whispered to Charlie viciously half way through the movie. "Oh my gosh, why would they even make a movie about this?" Sarah ducked down behind her hands as some sort of doll appeared on the screen and proceeded to walk by itself. "This is so much worse than Childs Play and I cried in that!"

"Oh yeah, I remember that!" Charlie smiled but quickly pulled a straight face when he caught sight of Sarah's death glare aimed at him. "I mean, I felt so bad for you." Charlie rolled his eyes playfully. "C'mon, this isn't that bad." He waved a hand at the screen. "Awful graphics and the characters are completely stupid."

"It's still terrifying! There is a doll that is killing everyone. I have dolls, what if this happens to me? And it's all dark and casting shadows everywhere, they're trapped and screaming and they can't get away! The doll just won't die!" Sarah was cut off as Chaz put a hand over her mouth.

"Calm down," he looked around; thankfully they're whispered conversation hadn't been disturbing anyone. "It's fake okay?"

"It's still scary," Sarah slumped down in her seat.

"Ok Sarah, whatever you say," Charlie grinned. "It's nearly over anyway."

After multiple near heart failures and several screams of terror the two were outside of the movie theatre. It was now dark and fairly quiet as it was a Sunday night. Charlie dropped Sarah off at her house and walked her to the door. Sarah couldn't shake of the feeling of awkwardness. First of all he had a girlfriend and Charlie didn't know that Sarah was in love with him. Second because this felt like a date and third because of what happened yesterday. All the things Sarah said would not leave Charlie's mind quickly it seemed as he also looked rather awkward.

Without warning he leant forward and hugged her tight. It wasn't like all those other hugs, those hugs were brief and simple. This hug was filled with things that Charlie could never say, filled with all the reassurances and promises that she needed. It was a rare hug, one of those hugs that only a few people receive in their lifetime.

"Thank you," Sarah whispered in his ear. Nothing more was needed to be said between them as they knew exactly what the other was thinking. Charlie left and Sarah was still standing on her porch waiting for reality to consume her. When it did, it wasn't friendly and it came in the form of her parents.

"Where have you been?" Sarah's mother stood in the middle of the hall. Sarah would have to endure this until she moved. No point pushing past as Sarah knew it wouldn't end well at all.

"Out with Charlie, I told you that I would be gone all day," Sarah responded, not defensively but not casually.

"No you didn't," her mother slurred. Almost as soon as Sarah registered this fact, the smell of alcohol hit her like an unexpected slap to the face. So it was going to be one of those nights. Sarah's mother turned around and haphazardly walked down the hallway, she seemed to have forgotten all about Sarah. As soon as the woman disappeared around the corner Sarah immediately dashed to her room and locked the door. As long as she pretended to disappear her parents wouldn't think twice about her.

It was times like these when she often thought what it would be like to have a normal family. One whose parents never drank to get drunk and actually cared about their daughter, those families went in her dreams with all of the other good things.

Her parents didn't get drunk very often but when they did Sarah had learned to watch out. They're moods changed rapidly and when they weren't yelling at each other they were yelling at Sarah.

The only place Sarah could hide for now was her mind. It was the ultimate protection as long as her and her parents were on opposite sides of the door.

They didn't care if they hurt her. They didn't care what happened to her. Sarah was invisible and always would be.

She tucked herself in and lay down with her tears for comfort and the noise of yelling and items hitting walls as her bedtime story. She soon slept although not peacefully. She was used to this routine but not used to it enough to get enough sleep.

Chapter 7

Sarah woke with dead eyes; she stood in front of the mirror willing there to be any emotion at all. Not even a flicker or glimpse of anything; just a pair of tired and lifeless eyes. This weekend had finally caught up to her, too good to be true; her life in a phrase. Too good to be true. So very true for her, nothing good had ever lasted for Sarah.

The school looked dominating and dark. Everything looked so different and dull. Sarah was willing to bet she still looked lifeless and weird and this was confirmed when Lilly bounded up to her.

"Hey! Are you ok?" Lilly's smile dropped when she saw Sarah.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," she lied smoothly; a habit she was used to by now.

"Aw that sucks," Lilly hugged her quickly but soon pulled back as though she'd suddenly remembered something. "How was the ride home with Charlie?" Lilly winked at Sarah.

"Yeah, it was fine. I stayed over at his house, I was just too tired to drive home then we saw a movie the next day," Sarah recalled.

"Lucky you," she grinned cheekily while Sarah groaned.

"Nothing happened Lil', just like it never does," Sarah turned back to her locker and getting her books out.

"You'll find someone someday," Lilly faked a wise tone. Sarah pulled a face and Lilly looked offended. "Are you dissing my psychic skills?"

"Pretty much," Sarah giggled.

"Seriously though, you will find someone. I refuse to believe that you will die alone," Lilly looked Sarah seriously in the eye.

"Who's dying alone?" Charlie just had to choose that exact moment to show up didn't he?

"Not Sarah." Charlie looked confused but soon understood and looked at Sarah disapprovingly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm not going to die alone and all that shiz," Sarah waved her hands around in front of her.

"You're not!" Charlie and Lilly both said indignantly at the same time. The bell sounded seconds later and already the normally packed hallways were emptying. With a wave Lilly walked off to her class leaving Charlie and Sarah to leave for their math class.

"Really?" Charlie asked without looking at her. He could have merely been questioning anything but by the way he said it Sarah knew it was directed at her.

"Really," she responded and the two walked on in silence.

Charlie and Sarah seemed rather agitated with each other for the rest of the day. Not quite snapping at each other but not entirely civilised either. An aura of tension travelled with them the whole time throughout every class. This didn't happen very often but when it did, it was odd. The two were just as stubborn as each other so usually it was left to time to fix their disagreements.

Each sentence to the brunet was punctuated with an arched eyebrow and Charlie's sentences were monotonous and unfamiliar. Lilly, after many tries of wheedling out what happened, eventually gave up and let them sort themselves out. It hurt them both to argue but neither was willing to admit they were wrong. It was rather silly really, Sarah thought, there are better things to argue about. But she wasn't giving this one up when she saw no truth in it.

When she got home the house was eerily quiet; parents out and only the ticking of the clock breaking the stillness of the house. Sarah tried not to dwell on her fatigue and emotions but instead got out her math homework – the only homework for that day – and buried herself in equations.

A shrill noise pierced the air and Sarah jumped, shocked by the outburst. It took her a few moments to realise it was her home phone as she was so used to the hush of her room. There was no way to tell who was calling so she hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?" She said, it came out as more of a question.

"Hey Sarah, it's me," Sarah would know that voice anywhere. The low tones of a boy she'd loved for years. He would call a lot but today was not one of those days were she wanted to talk to him, especially after their argument.

For weeks Sarah had been feeling a build-up of something, some aura or emotion. It was like something very important or drastic was about to happen soon; something unavoidable. Sarah had become just so tired and exhausted of all the events happening and she was really feeling the repercussions.

"Oh, hi," even Sarah could tell she didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"Listen, I'm just...I'm really sorry," Charlie stumbled over his words.

"It's okay, really."

"No it's not. I made you feel really uncomfortable and that wasn't fair to you. I just don't want you to feel like that."

"Seriously Chaz its okay," Sarah softly smiled despite Charlie not being able to see her.

"Okay, just sorry." A beeping noise from Sarah's cell phone informed her of another call. She absentmindedly looked over at the number but didn't recognize it. Her brow creased.

"Sorry Chaz but I have another call coming through can I call you back?" Sarah picked up her phone, finger poised on the "accept" button.

"Sure, I'll talk to you tomorrow." His voice was followed by the dial tone. Sarah quickly pressed answer on her cell phone and held it up to her ear while simultaneously putting the home phone down.

"Hello?" Again it sounded like a question.

"Hi, is this Sarah?" The voice sounded familiar but she couldn't quite pin point it.

"Yeah, speaking."

"It's Will," now Sarah remembered the voice; the handsome boy at the fairgrounds with the lovely eyes and good humour.

"Hi! How are you?" Sarah smiled.

"I am very well thank you," Sarah grinned. "I would ask how you are but you sound...off? Is that the word?" He asked her. Sarah gaped at his ability to tell if someone was okay through the phone and at his bluntness. However, it was appreciated. She sighed, not unkindly, but more in an emotionally exhausted way.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"What's wrong? You don't have to answer and all since we just met." He seemed genuinely concerned but Sarah warned herself not to let her guard down. Over the years she'd built up walls and rules for herself, there was no way she was going to let herself forget them now.

"I'm sorry, I don't really feel comfortable telling you and I don't want to burden you or anything," Sarah scrunched up her nose.

"You wouldn't burden me but how about we go out tonight to get your mind off things? It doesn't have to be a date, just a nice night out," Will trailed off unsure of Sarah's answer.

"I'd love that! Just a night out though, not a date," Sarah was in no way ready for that with Will. She was in love with Charlie but it would be nice to get her mind off things and who said she couldn't learn to have feelings for him?

"Just a night out," Will confirmed.

For once Sarah was actually looking forward to spending time out. She ditched her studies and went to go get changed. One day of missing out on homework wouldn't kill anyone and even though she was completely focused on her education she needed this. She needed this entertainment with someone who wasn't Charlie or Lilly. She loved them both dearly but sometimes people need to spend time with those they don't know as well. It was only therapeutic.

Chapter 8

Sarah tiptoed up to her door, fully knowing that at any moment her parents could wake up and all hell would let loose. She didn't often come home late, it was imperative to her that she got home at a reasonable time. Unwilling to receive the consequences of her late night adventure her soft footsteps avoided all leaves, twigs and any other obstacles that would potentially get her in trouble.

Luckily, Sarah made it to her room without waking her parents who were or were not in the house somewhere. She never knew when they were home and tonight there was no way she would willingly find out.

Smiling to herself she remembered the night's events. Being around Will made her happy and carefree, the whole time Sarah was with him tonight not once had she thought about anything even remotely bad. Just as Sarah was replaying the night in her head, her phone buzzed. Fishing it out of her pocket she immediately smiled when she saw the sender of the text.

"Hey, I had an amazing time with you. Catch up soon? W. x" Sarah quickly typed back a reply and threw her phone on the bed, her body following soon after. The softness quickly pulled her into a peaceful sleep.

Walking into school the next day Sarah felt light, for once she wasn't dreading school and everything was brighter. It was so different to what she was used to but not unwelcome.

A shadow cast over her as she walked, Sarah didn't even look up as she heard the voice that the shadow belonged to.

"Hey."

"Hi Chaz," Sarah smiled up at him.

"You never called me back," Charlie faked a whiny, immature tone.

"Oh," he smiled when he saw Sarah's eyes widen, "I'm sorry, I went out with Will last night and totally forgot," Charlie smile instantly dropped. Sarah, completely oblivious to this continued on. "Forgive me?" She grinned and bumped shoulders with him.

Sarah's smile faltered when she noticed that he didn't bump shoulders back and reply with a witty remark like he usually does. "What's up? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Charlie smiled and quickly turned away.

"Whatever," raising her eye brows and trailing off, Sarah knew that Charlie was lying. Was it about Will? Probably but who was he to control who she spends her time with? As much as Sarah loved Charlie there was no way she was giving up spending time with Will. Yes, Charlie made her happy but Will made her forget about everything but the two of them. Why on earth would she want to give that up? Charlie needed to just accept that Will was here to stay.

"You all alright?" Sarah's head snapped in the other direction, she hadn't even noticed Lilly approaching them. Her eyes were wary, she must off noticed the increased tension between them. "Are you both still arguing?" she sighed.

"No," both Charlie and Sarah almost yelled. They turned and glared at each other. Lilly looked taken aback at the slight outburst.

"Uh, okay?"

Sarah sighed and dragged a hand down her face, "sorry Lilly."

"Ah, don't even worry about it. C'mon, we'd better go." Before they reached their designated classrooms, Lilly gasped, clapped her hands twice and spun on her heels to face Charlie and Sarah. "Okay, I have a brilliant, brilliant idea. We are all going out to have dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight. No buts, this shall sort out all this tension and arguing between you both" she added as Charlie was about to interrupt. "Dress nicely and I'll text you both the details later." With that she spun back around and wandered down the halls. Sarah and Charlie slowly looked at each other, each of their faces mimicking the other; mouths slightly hung open and eyes full of shock and disbelief.

The night came far too quickly for Sarah who was dreading this. She couldn't shake off a bad feeling about tonight but once Lilly had her mind set on something, there was no getting out of it. Something down her dress, Sarah hopped into her car and a mere thirty minutes later she arrived at a new restaurant in the city. She had to hand it to Lilly, this restaurant had very good reviews.

Sarah noticed Charlie waiting outside and joined him. "Is Lilly here yet?" Sarah looked around.

"No, not quite yet."

"I'm just going to quickly call her," Sarah meandered away and dialling her best friend's number.

"Hello?"

"Lilly! Where are you?"

"I was literally just about to text you! I can't go, I'm sick." Lilly coughed.

"You were fine this morning!" Sarah ran a hand through her hair.

"I know but I've just come down with something."

"That is the biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard." Sarah deadpanned.

Lilly sighed, knowing she'd been caught. "Yeah, well, look at it this way, now you get to enjoy a fancy meal with Charlie."

Sarah gasped, "Lilly!"

"Oh, got to go, love you, bye." Sarah heard the dial tone and scowled at her phone. Mumbling she walked back to Charlie.

"What did she say?"

"She's not coming." Charlie raised his eyebrows, "apparently she's come down with a cold or something."

"Well, we already have a reservation so we may as well just go inside," Charlie said as Sarah tried to keep from obnoxiously grinning.

A waiter showed the to their seats and Sarah gasped in awe at the interior of the building. The room was slightly dimmed and everything was coloured in creams and browns and deep reds. Things were slightly awkward between the two of them until Charlie decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry," Sarah's looked up quickly from the tablecloth she was admiring. Charlie continued on, "I don't like this," he motioned between the two of them. "This tension, it's tiring and I much prefer being friends with you." He smiled slightly at her. "So what do you say? Friends again?"

Sarah couldn't help it, she grinned, her eyes brightening, "of course." Sarah nodded her head rapidly. "I'm sorry too." Charlie smiled back and for a few moments they both just smiled at each other. Not saying anything but comfortable with the silence. The light of the room made their eyes sparkle and Sarah found herself once again losing herself in them like she had done so many more times before.

"So, Princess," Charlie, still smiling, spoke, "what would you like to eat?" And just like that all awkwardness had vanished and the two friends became like their usual selves. They talked the whole night about anything and everything. Now that they had stopped arguing they were able to continue on with any conversation.

After a brief but friendly argument about who would be paying they walked out of the restaurant and started their way to where the cars were parked. The cold air bit at their skin and Sarah wrapped her arms around herself. Just as Charlie was about to take his coat off and hand it to her, Sarah's phone began ringing. Pulling it out of her bag she glanced at the caller ID and smiled to herself.

"Why hello there!" Charlie frowned wondering who she was talking to. All of the years he'd known Sarah, she never answered phone calls like that except for himself and Lilly. He could not hear the reply as the voice was muffled.

"Um, no I don't think so," and then, "yes, that sounds great! Okay see you then, bye Will." Charlie immediately stiffened. Although he'd only met the guy once, he was still wary about him. Was it jealousy? No, Charlie shook that thought off, Sarah was merely a friend to him. His best friend. But then again, she'd been there for him and him for her for years. He knew everything about her and vice versa, plus, he did think that she was beautiful. The way her hair was always perfectly curled and her eyes changed colour almost every day. The way that she would press her lips together when she was thinking seriously about something and how she wrinkled her nose and closed her eyes when she laughed. There was no doubt that he had strong feelings for her. He just had no idea what these feelings were.

"Charlie? Charlie?" All the while he'd been thinking, Sarah was trying to get his attention.

"Why do you like him?" Charlie even surprised himself with his unexpected cold tone. However, his unseen reaction was nothing to Sarah's reaction. She recoiled back from him as though he had hit her and she stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Why do you care?" Her initial hurt of Charlie's words disappeared and she defended herself.

"Because I care about you and I don't like him one bit," no matter how much Charlie told himself to stop, he couldn't. These words were long overdue and even though he knew that this probably wasn't the best way to go about it, he couldn't stop himself.

"Well, to be quite honest I don't care if you don't like him. You're not the boss of me Charlie –"

"I never said I was!" Their voices were raised now but luckily they were in a secluded part of the city.

"Well you sure are acting like it! I like Will okay and I don't care if you don't. He makes me forget Charlie, he makes me feel happy."

"Don't Lilly and I make you happy?" They were both yelling and stood opposite each other. Sarah was on the verge of tears and Charlie kept running his hands through his hair.

"Yes you do! Of course you do! But he's different, okay –"

"Different? He's bad for you Sarah –"

"Oh yeah? And how would you know that?"

"I just do! When you're with him it's like no one else matters –"

"Isn't that a good thing? Isn't it good that I can forget my messed up life? That I can for a few hours pretend that everything's okay? That I can pretend that I'm not scared of going home and that I don't get teased at school! Isn't it good that I can make myself believe that I don't have to turn to hurting myself to feel okay? Why can't you understand that?" Sarah trailed off, her voice had raised a few octaves and now tears were rolling down her face.

"Sarah," Charlie stepped forward and reached for her.

"No!" Sarah stepped back, "don't touch me. I just – just leave me alone."

"Fine! Leave! Just go running to Will and pretend like everything's okay then instead of trying to fix it yourself." As soon as the words left his mouth he wished he could take them back. Charlie abruptly stopped and looked at Sarah with pleading eyes. "I – I'm sorry – I shouldn't have said that –"

"You did though," Instead of looking hurt, Sarah's eyes went cold. "Don't you think I've tried that? But most of it is out of my control! Do you think it's my choice that I don't matter to my parents? Do you think it's my choice that I get harsh words thrown at me? Look, if I could have it my way then you –" Sarah stopped. She couldn't let him find out how much he meant to her. She couldn't do this to herself, especially when she was so sure that he didn't feel that way back.

"That I what?" When Sarah didn't say anything Charlie tried again, "That I what?" He ducked to try and make eye contact with her but Sarah turned her head.

"Nothing, forget I said it," she turned away and in that moment Charlie knew exactly what he felt. Tears rolling down her face and hurt etching every feature she started walking away.

"Wait," it took a moment for his mind to catch up with the fact that he was chasing after her. "Just, please, wait," he grabbed her hand and spun her around. Sarah's eyes flickered to their intertwined hands and back up to Charlie's face.

Even though he'd only realised it seconds ago, Charlie had never been so sure of anything in his life. He lowered his head and Sarah's eyes widened in realisation and then slowly closed in anticipation. Before she knew it, the moment that she'd wished for, for so many years was finally happening. Charlie's hand rested on the small of her back and pulled her closer, the other hand still intertwined with Sarah's. As Sarah's hand rested on the back of his neck she smiled into the kiss and he followed her lead. All too soon the kiss had ended and they both pulled back. Instead of saying anything, they just stood there, Sarah couldn't help but feeling shy yet unbelievably happy. Charlie smiled down at her and chuckled. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks ridding her of the tears that fell previously. He couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'm sorry," he said. Sarah couldn't help it, she laughed.

"Sorry, I'm sorry too," Charlie chuckled at her reaction. He swung their hands back and forth and pulled her towards the car park and neither of them could keep the contended smiles off their faces.

"Y'know, we're going to have to tell Lilly about this," Charlie said. Lilly had never told Charlie about Sarah's not so small crush on him but she had made it known that she had been wanting them to get together for ages.

"Oh joy," Sarah trailed off, her reaction was one that Sarah would've liked to keep small as it most likely would involve lots of injury causing movements.

Even though her life was far from being happy, it was getting happier. Finally everything was falling into place.

Chapter 9

"You!" Sarah's head smacked the roof of her car as she heard the yell. Rubbing the sore spot and straightening up she rested a hand on the car door and faced the offender. Eyes widening as she recognized the girl walking away from what appeared to be her car and heading straight towards Sarah, all the colour from her face vanished.

The girl stormed forward, hair caught in the wind and eyes blazing with fury, she stopped less than a metre away from Sarah who flinched against the door. "Hey, Chloe," Sarah said meekly, hoping she'd calm down soon.

Chloe shook her head furiously at Sarah and poked her collarbone. "You," she repeated. "You are the reason that he's gone, the reason that he doesn't want me anymore," for a moment Sarah genuinely felt sorry for the girl as she looked like she was about to burst into tears. That was until Chloe blinked back the tears and once again she looked like she wanted to rip Sarah apart – limb from limb.

"Chloe, please calm down. I have no idea what you're talking about," Sarah held her hands up in front of her, palms facing the girl. "Please?" The girl took a step back however, her eyes were still boring painful holes into Sarah.

"Like hell you have no idea what I'm talking about," she said threateningly. "This is your entire fault," Chloe's fingers tugged at her hair in frustration and she spun around on her heels. "Something good finally comes along and he's taken from me, why? Why do you have to be so much prettier and nicer and smarter than me? Why can't I just keep a guy for once?" She faced Sarah again and tears spilled over her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Still confused and in shock, Sarah stayed rooted to the spot and for a few moments all they could hear was distant sounds of everyone else continuing with their lives and the whistling of the wind.

"Honestly, I'm so sorry for what I've done to upset you but I don't have a clue what you're talking about," Sarah pleaded.

Chloe looked up at her, "Charlie broke up with me," she choked out. Understanding suddenly dawned on Sarah and then disgust with herself. She'd completely forgotten about Chloe dating Charlie and she'd kissed him while they were still together. How could she have just forgotten that Charlie had a girlfriend, for goodness sake? She'd broken up a relationship and no matter how badly Sarah wanted Charlie she couldn't find it in her to forgive herself. Sarah's hands clasped her mouth as she gasped when all this information suddenly caught up to her and she could feel herself about to cry.

"He caught up with me this morning and told me it was over and that there was someone else," Chloe continued onwards, her breathing irregular and cheeks flushed. "I knew immediately it was you, I mean, I saw the way he looked at you at the carnival," her hands flew up towards the sky. "The boy is practically in love with you and I know that Charlie and I never had a fantastic relationship but I had this blind optimism that maybe it would work out and maybe I'll get a fairy tale ending too but evidently not." Tears were still streaming down her face as she forced the story out.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," Sarah kept repeating until Chloe grabbed her hands. Suddenly all the anger was gone from her, it disappeared and in its place came overwhelming sadness.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I should have dealt calmly with it and I just – I want you to know that you can't let him go now." Sarah reeled in shock at Chloe's words. One minute she looked capable of murder and now she was telling Sarah that it was completely okay to date her ex. "It's obvious he wants you more than me and I just want him to be happy. No matter how much I want to hate you, I can't because I just keep feeling like you deserve him more than me. I don't know why I feel that way but I do so please, please, please take my advice and don't you ever let go of him."

The two girls stood there. Chloe's eyes pleading with Sarah to do as she said and Sarah desperately wanting to not do what she says; simply because of the fact that she'd never be able to forgive herself for taking away someone else's boyfriend.

"No, I can't," Sarah whispered.

"Yes you can," Chloe begged. "Please, for me, just make him happy. I couldn't do that and maybe he wasn't right for me but you can. I know that you make him happy; you're all he would talk about – that's why I was so rude to you because I was scared that he'd choose you over me. Now that he has and I don't really know how to feel but I do know this. That you need to run up to him and kiss the living daylights out of that boy, okay?" She laughed breathily. "Because you both deserve it." With that, Chloe quickly hugged Sarah tightly. "Maybe I'll see you around, yeah? Best of luck!"

Before Sarah knew what was happening Chloe ran across the street and into her car. A few seconds later she pulled away from the curb and sped off down the street. As if in a trance, Sarah climbed into the driver's seat of her own car, pulled down the visor and tried fixing up her makeup. After feeling pleased about the clean-up job she'd done, Sarah lowered her hand and assessed herself.

She forced a small smile onto her face and wondered if maybe Chloe was right. That in mind, she reversed from the drive way and headed away from her house. Hopeful and determined she knew what she had to do.