"Blaine's sick!" Kurt whines, as he slinks into his seat. "He's one of our best singers and – "
"Kurt, what kind of purple doodoo mojo have you been smoking?" Santana butts in, asking with a horrified look on her face. "You can't possibly be that tone deaf. Let's be real here, people." Santana looks around the choir room nonchalantly. "Thank hallejulah."
Brittany has to bring her hands to her mouth to make her snicker inaudible, as Rachel shoots Santana a death glare. "SANTANA!" Rachel yelps, as Santana slightly shrugs her shoulders.
"Are you seriously shooting daggers into my black soul because you actually have even more of a chance to sing?" Santana asks once again, as her eyes drop. "Oh god, more Rachel singing. I don't know what's even worse. Having to watch Blaine's face while 'performing'" She air quotes, and then quickly shudders. "Or listening to Rachel sing a song… again."
"Well, three more minutes of my magic sex dance would win over the judges and more." Sam chimes in, with a cheesy grin. "Even Santana felt a little something something."
Santana scrunches her nose, as she rolls her eyes in mild annoyance. "Quinn, I'm going to cut you into a million little pieces." Brittany cocks her head towards Santana in disapproval, her hand traveling to her lower back.
"Excuse me?" Quinn looks up from her book, as her eyes meet Santana's. "I did not tell Sam that." Quinn emphasizes, with a quick little scoff. Mercedes bites her bottom lip, as she gulps.
"Oh of course you didn't." Santana says, 'believing' her.
"You know me better than that." Santana goes to say something more, but Quinn raises her finger up and continues. "Plus cutting me into a million little pieces? Disappointing. Don't you have a million other better ways to kill me?"
"Oh trust me, the possibilities are endless." Santana responds snarkily. "Where do I even start?" Santana lets out a hum, as she gets into thinking mode.
"I heard a similar exchange once…" Puck states, as it looks like he's about to drool. "In a porn video. It was badass." Puck adds, as he waggles his eyebrows looking at the ladies. He lets out a wha to Sugar, who had softly kicked him on the shoulder.
"Well, Santana, I'm sorry to disappoint you once again." Sam says softly, eyes trailing over to Mercedes. "But it wasn't Quinn." With the direct look at Mercedes, Sam lets out a soft grimace as Santana's look is that of seriously? Mercedes punches Sam on his right shoulder.
"Sorry." Mercedes says softly, wanting to lose herself in her chair. "I didn't realize Sam would brag." Mercedes shoots a glare towards Sam's way, though Sam can't help but be slightly amused by the situation.
"Guys, we have to do a new number and how can we all come together to sing and dance it flawlessy for THE Nationals, nonetheless, in less than thirty six hours time?" Kurt chimes in, looking as if he's freaking out.
"We do have to agree on what to do first and well, let's face it guys… that's gonna be the hard part." Artie says with a nod.
"The hard part is gon be wakin' up at six thirty in the god damn morning." Mercedes complains, letting out a big sigh. "Why did the Nationals have to be five stinkin' hours away?"
"Seriously." Santana remarks.
"Don't worry, Santana, I'll wake you up in the morning." Brittany says quietly in her ear, as Santana has to bite her lower lip.
"I wake up at five thirty A.M. every morning, as it takes an hour to do my elaborate morning ritual. So this will not be a problem in the slightest." Rachel excitedly says with a smile, being one of the rare few not minding the morning hours. This gets most of the Glee Club to stare at her like she's crazy for being a morning person.
"I can wake up five minutes before we leave and still look like a sex shark so it's all good." Puck brags, as Sugar kicks him in the shoulder again.
"Oh sweet heavens, this is absolutely dreadful." Sugar says loudly, looking through her I-Phone 4S. "Museum. Museum and oh look, another museum! As if Chicago needs that many. Ugh."
"I wanted to go to the zoo with the dolphins, but I'm worried about the evil dolphin ghosts." Brittany says almost nonchalantly, with a serious deadpan expression on her face. This gets Rachel's jaw slightly agape, as she furrows her eyebrows.
"Well I suppose the Navy Pier could be decent. Maybe." Sugar says to… well, nobody in particular as her eyes are glued to the text on her screen.
"There's the Tony-award winning Chicago Shakespeare Theater. Good enough for me." Quinn says, moreso in the direction of Rachel.
"As if anyone wants to go there, Quinn." Sugar exclaims, with a look of mild disgust. This gets everyone in Glee Club to look at her like a stranger and that's when Puck softly taps her on the knee. Rachel is vehemently blinking, looking for words to say… but they don't come out.
"You can't possibly be serious!" The words finally escape from Rachel's mouth, as the Glee Club let out a sigh as she starts her rant.
(The next morning.)
"I think there's a plethora of baby kittens hiding somewhere in my house. They're playing hide and seek with me." Brittany says, with a slightly befuddled look, looking out the rainbow and seeing fields and fields of nothing but grass and trees. There's a small groan that escapes from Santana's mouth, as her head moves off Brittany's shoulder.
"I was having a good dream. C'mon Brittany, can I just sleep in peace?" Santana grumbles, as there's an innocent doe-eyed look from Brittany letting out a small 'whoops.'
"I'm sorry." Brittany apologizes, almost in a whisper. "I shouldn't have made your dreams come true last night."
Santana lets out a soft chuckle, as it barely even escapes. She's just so tired, it almost seems as if she doesn't care. But she does. "And you're awake as if you just drank ten cups of overrated trite from Starbucks or whatever."
Brittany looks as if she's going to hop up from her seat at any moment at all the energy she still has left in her, despite having received less sleep than her girlfriend. "I promise I won't wake you up again until we get to Chicago."
Santana's head has already dropped onto Brittany's shoulder once again. Brittany moves the soft purple fleece blanket that surrounds them both, so it covers Santana more.
Rachel sits straight in her seat, leaning her head on the headrest. The big fluffy earphones cover her whole ears. It looks as if she's sleeping, but oh no, she's simply closing her eyes and humming to herself, keeping her voice in check. Her hands move around randomnly with no sort of rhythm.
'A Monster Calls' rests on Quinn's lap, with a book light illuminating the pages (due to the extra hour of darkness in the morning due to the time change.) She's positioned herself so her head rests on the window, and her legs are sprawled out over the two bus seats. She keeps falling asleep in two second cycles, only for every little bump on the bus ride to wake her up.
"Hey you." Puck says with a devious smirk on his face. "I got an amusement park ride at my house. It's called the Hurricane Tongue. Wanna ride?" He emphasizes the end, his smirk growing larger and larger.
"Ew, that's disgusting." Sugar retorts, with a mild look of disgust on her face, and a shudder. "I'd slap you but that'd kill your brain cells and trust me, you need all of them you can get. Sorry, notsorry. Hit me up with another."
"This is like... the twentieth pick-up line I've hit you with!" Puck contends, as he looks almost offended.
"If they didn't all suck, then we wouldn't have to keep going. Come on. Hit me up with another." Sugar insists, as Puck begins the twenty first.
"AH-ha. I got you!" Sam rejoices, as he nearly hops out of his seat and taps Mike on the shoulder.
"Bro, I beat you twenty three times before. You just got lucky." Mike scoffs, with half a smirk on his face.
Sam's face nearly drops, though it's easy to tell it's acting. "Dude, you have six months over me in Street Fighter. Just let me have this, man."
"You da man, Sam." Mike responds, as he fist bumps Sam who has a gleeful grin.
(Three hours later.)
The bus comes to a stop in the hotel parking lot, with Brittany have already woken up Santana who had jerked up suddenly and looks as if she's not even sleepy in the slightest. Brittany stands up on her feet, bending over the seat and taps Quinn several times. Head, shoulder, stomach, shoulder, head.
Quinn doesn't wake up, however, and Brittany almost looks disappointed. "Santana, you wake up at my smallest touch, but it's not working for Quinn… "
"Oh Brittany, just bend over and scream into her ear that the Library of Congress is on fire. That'll do, trust me." Santana remarks confidently.
"That sounds hot." Brittany says, before leaning over the top of the seat and her face is right near Quinn's. "Hey Quinn! The Library of Congress is on fire!"
(Half a second later)
"Wait – no!" Quinn says suddenly, as her eyes shoot open. Brittany's quick reflexes ensure their heads didn't hit one another. "Seriously, Brittany?" Quinn says, slightly annoyed. "You wouldn't be that mean to me, so I'm presuming that was Santana, right?" Santana's eyes shoot off to the eye, as she raises her bottom lip all innocent like.
"It woke you up the fuck up, didn't it? We're here in Chicago now, Fabray."
And it's as if Quinn never slept, as she gets to her knees on the bus seat. "Why do you insist on calling me Q or Fabray? You know I'm not a fan…"
"Precisely, Q." Santana responds.
"Well, Quinn." Brittany looks towards Santana in disapproval. "I'm looking forward to The Unholy Trinity adventures here in Chicago!"
(Thirty seconds later)
"ALRIGHT GUYS!" Burt screams, as he stands at the front of the bus.
"Indoor voice, Dad! Some of us are just waking up." Kurt chimes in, rubbing his eyes, as Burt raises his eyebrows at him not really caring all that much.
"You'll be fine, buddy. Alright!" Burt says almost mockingly. "Is that a good enough indoor voice for ya?" Burt pats Kurt on the shoulder, as he nearly jumps up. "I'm just teasin'. Alright, people, we're here at the Marriot. Phew, thank goodness for that discount." He pretends to wipe off sweat on his forehead. "But since we could only afford to get three rooms for that, all of you are going to have to decide who and who is sleeping in what rooms."
Immediately, the Glee Club start talking over the top of each other, as Burt leaves the bus. He meets Will and Emma outside, who had driven in a car (which Emma had cleaned for half hour to ensure it was free of germs and it was such a surprise they even managed to catch up so quickly with the bus.)
"It's gonna take those kiddos quite a while to decide who's sleeping with one another, so why don't we take a walk around?"
Emma raises an eyebrow at the innuendo in that statement, as Burt raises his head. "Hey now, lady, you know what I mean."
"Well first of all, there's no way I'm sleeping in the same room as that snot nosed basta – "
"And I won't be able to take her bad singing in the showe-"
"I need my sleep and I'm not waking up due to that darn morning ritual of Rach –"
"I don't car –"
(Five minutes later)
The bickering is too much for Kurt to take who lets out a screech, and the Glee Club don't quite stop their bickering. "SHUT UP!" He screams loud enough for every single one of them to hear and they all stop, as Kurt rubs the sides of his temple.
"Here's how it's going to go." Kurt walks down the aisle, next to most of the girls. "Santana, Brittany, Quinn." He turns his head around to see Sugar, pointing towards her. "Sugar aand…" He turns his head around once again, as Mercedes stands at the back." And you, Mercedes, all five of you will share the biggest room together. Troubletones, girl power, big egos, yadda yadda."
Santana just shrugs her shoulders, as Brittany has a growing smile on her face. The other girls are just 'whatever', but look okay with that arrangement. Kurt swiftly turns around, as he puts his hands onto Rachel's shoulders. "Rach, I love you to death, but the only one that can deal with you the best is Finn, Mike, and Tina, so it'll be the four of you in the same room."
Rachel crosses her arms, letting out a humph as she looks around the bus. Kurt raises his arms out. "So that leaves me, Sam, Artie and Puck to share the same room. Bros and all that, right?" Kurt says, with a clearly fake smile. The bickering stops, at least, and it's somewhat quiet on the bus as the clubs agrees and begin to get their bags from the overhead department.
(Fifteen minutes later)
"Is this hotel seriously this incompetent?" Santana whines, as she inserts the keycard into the machine over and over again, but the door remains locked. Santana rests her head on the door, bumping into the 'Room 242' sign several times in frustration.
"Gimme the keycard, Santana." Mercedes says loudly.
"Yes, because it's going to magically work when you do it." Santana says, as Mercedes gives her a bitch look. Santana raises her hand out with the key card in-between her fingers and Mercedes grabs it.
Brittany stands several feet away from the girls, as she starts swiveling her shoulders around. The door to Room 240 is open, as she hears two female voices.
"Whoever rented this room had an all night orgy. Oh my lordy mclord."
"Don't act so shocked. This hotel is infamous for all the noise complaints due to y'know..."
"SEX? For god's sake, Fi, did you just seriously refrain yourself from saying that word?"
"You know I wasn't, Veronica. Shut up."
Brittany's eyes bulge, as two women walk out of Room 240 with a trashbag… and a condom. The dark skinned woman looks at Brittany, who's looking mildly shocked. "Ain't you young'ins ever seen a condom before?"
The other woman, the one with her brunette hair tied back in a ponytail, hits her friend on the shoulder. There's a stern expression on her face. "Please ignore Veronica. She forgot her manners."
Veronica hits Fiona on the shoulder in return. "And please ignore Fiona for she's little miss perfect."
"It's okay." Brittany says with a shrug. "There was this time as a 'young'in' at my parents house where I blew this 'balloon' and I was wondering why it was so sticky and wet…"
Fiona and Veronica look at each other with a mild 'what the' expression on their faces, before looking at Brittany with a look of mild disgust. "Oh you poor child."
Quinn walks to Brittany's right, looking at her with a little scrunchy face. "What is it with you and that condom story?"
"What? It's a good story…" Brittany says defensively, as Quinn gives the two women a quick little smile and a nod, acknowledging them politely.
"Right." Quinn gives her friend a quick little pat on the shoulder. "I was just wondering if you two have ever had problems with the key cards here at the hotel?" Quinn asks, being somewhat apprehensive.
"Does it look like –" Veronica begins, as Fiona gives her a hip bump.
"Many, many times." Fiona says, as she takes a few steps forward. "Give me ten seconds and you'll be in there and collapsing on those beds before you know it." Veronica slowly turns her head towards Fiona, with a hand on hip, pondering as to how Fiona would even know that.
"I guess it's that obvious, huh?" Quinn lets out a soft chuckle. "Santana's got the key card, I think."
It's not long before Fiona makes her way towards Room 242, considering it's a door down. "Santana."
Santana looks at Fiona up and down, with a mix of annoyed, confusion, but mostly one of unfamiliarity. "And who the blue he – "
"The blondie told me about the dilemma. Now you could either stand out here pissed the hell off at how much the hotel sucks and all that crap or you will allow me to fix the situation in less than ten seconds." Fiona says boldly, as Santana almost looks impressed, putting the keycard into Fiona's hands.
Nine seconds later, the girls hear a beep, much to their delight.
"You were watching how I did it, right?" Fiona asks Santana, who's just… standing there, eyes glued to one of the queen sized beds.
"Because it's the Latina that should learn how to break into a hotel room." Santana says somewhat sarcastically.
"Well I'm just saying because you're gonna be shit outta luck otherwise." Fiona shrugs, giving her a glance that almost screams judgmental, before turning around swiftly and walking back to Veronica. She gives the key card to Quinn, who gives her the sign for thank you. Fiona gives her a quick wink acknowledging that and basically saying you're welcome.
"If I ever see her again, I will give her my Lima Heights hospitality." Santana murmurs, as Quinn slightly rolls her eyes as she passes by the girls, scaring Sugar (who had been distracted by her IPhone 4 this whole time) by 'accidentally' brushing her shoulder.
"Santana, you need to sleep on it." Brittany implores, as she picks up her suitcase to go along with Santana's. "We got bigger things to worry about."
"Right… of course. The Nationals."