I never got my chance to say goodbye to the woman who made my life brighter; a bit less...dark. But what if I had went with Morgan? What if I did more to help? What if I stopped her from leaving that day she walked out of our lives? How did I not know what has been bothering her from her fingernails? What if, what if. Why ask questions that will never be answered? It doesn't matter anymore; The only woman who knew how to put a smile on my face is out of my life forever.

Dr. Spencer Reid felt the tears begin to fall like he had no control over it, like he had suddenly become overwhelmed with a disease that was impossible to cure. He gently wiped the tears away, and tried to redeem his self, but couldn't find the strength in himself to do so, and he felt like he never would find that strength. Life isn't going to be the same without Emily Prentiss. Dr. Reid knew the answers to many questions, he could solve the most difficult math problem and recite a book word for word, cover to cover without mistakes, but the thing he knew, perhaps most for sure, was that life was going to change forever, and not in a positive way. No statistics, just a gut feeling. Thoughts of regret and remorse screamed to him in chorus, then sporadically. Each thought gradually getting louder, and louder...

Why? Why did this happen? This shouldn't have happened...

The same question became more and more haunting each time he thought it. His own mind, and heart where the source of his pain at this moment, betraying him... hurting him...

Shaking, he gently placed a red, fully bloomed rose at the base of the tombstone. "I miss you," He whispered quietly, wondering if she could actually hear him.

This bred to another thought; what TRULY happens after you die? Nothing? Is this life all for nothing? If it's for nothing, why do we live it? Why do we treasure it so much? Is there really an afterlife?

What did Prentiss do to deserve this? All she's done all her life was help people.. She risked her life for me. She doesn't deserve this. Why couldn't it have been me six feet under?

Why didn't I say goodbye?

Why didn't I push past JJ to see her, just one last time... even if she was lifeless?

Why didn't JJ let me see her?

She's dead.

Dead.

"I miss her too," He felt a light touch of a familiar hand on his shoulder. He knew it was Garcia; he'd know her comforting presence anywhere. "But, please, believe me. Everything will be okay." Her voice shook as she spoke, she dropped her arms by her side. She held a pink rose and placed it next to the one Reid had placed. He turned to her and she pulled him into a tight hug and wouldn't let him go. Garcia was always that kind of person; always there, and always strived to help. Sometimes her presence made the world feel a little lighter- this wasn't one of those times. "You don't fool me, Garcia." He cried into her shoulder, "Life's not going to be okay. You...you don't realize how hard death is until it happens to someone... someone you really care about. And murder? Murder... it couldn't be worse..." His voice faded. He pulled away, and she looked him in the eye. "She's always going to be in our hearts, and.. you. You have an eidetic memory. You just think of her and you can watch every memory of you two together like a movie. You're very lucky. That'll keep her alive in your heart; and you know. You can just sit there, at your desk at work, and be like, 'Hey guys, remember that time I hit Emily in the head with my physics magic?' And then we'll all laugh, and remember the good times... and the laughs. Ya know?" She said, smiling slightly through her tears.

"Physics magic, huh?" Reid said, lifting his head up, a small smile approaching. He replayed the moment in his head. The look on Prentiss' face. Her laughter. Her beauty... He lost his smile.
"How'd you get here?"
"I walked."
"Let me bring you home. It's getting cold, and I don't my genius getting sick," She said, poking him the arm. Although she was trying to uplift the mood a little... it didn't work all that much, but Reid nodded. He took one last look at the gravesite. It was just dirt - it hadn't even been long enough for grass to grow. It may sound sickening and unrealistic, but he, for one moment, felt like she was trapped down there alive...

Sleeping felt impossible. Reid laid awake, staring at his ceiling.

What if she's alive?

"Which one of you is the FBI agent?" Cyrus pointed the gun at Reid's head. "It's me." Cyrus turned to Prentiss, pulled her by the hair, and...

Reid hated thinking about what happened afterwards, and how it all happened for him. I should've been the one to suffer... not her... not Emily... He choked back a sudden urge to bawl his eyes out. "Damn it.." He mumbled, as he wearily left his bed and sat at his desk. He held his head in his hands, feeling a headache approach. He sat still for a few minutes, trying to block all thoughts from his head. He just wanted peace, for a few minutes, and that he did get. Until the phone rang, causing the headache to produce even sharper pains. He grabbed the phone and answered it, his voice light. "Garcia..? Why are you calling me at-" "I need you to come over. Now." "Garcia, I'm really not in the mood-" "It's important. Like, extreme bad... slash good news that I really can't say on the phone.." "Gar-" "YOU'RE GOING TO COME OVER." She hung up, leaving him no choice but to go. But before he went, there was one thing he needed. And that, of course, was coffee.

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