"Curtis, it's about time you retired."
Yeah, it sure was. I had been doing this for more than just a handful of years now. The toll it had taken on my mind was undeniable. But I just couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, tried to close out those dozens of tabs, to log out for that final time and forget. I couldn't. Every single time I called it quits and made for the door, SOMETHING kept calling me back. It couldn't be explained. Maybe I still had some unfinished business. Maybe someone really needed my help. Maybe I just needed to make one of my proxies vanish, creating a black hole in cyberspace, and slowly disappear from my old friends' minds, then start all over with a whole new proxy, as a whole new person.
"You've done your best. But it's time to give it up. It's over."
I knew that. Of course I did. I had uncovered that ugly truth the day I came back from the big empty, all those years ago. The Golden Age was over. Long over. And I had missed out on it. There was nothing left. No friends. No allies. Nothing but the small embers, desperately trying to stay lit, but ultimately burning themselves away in the process, eventually becoming a cold dead piece of charcoal. Sure, a fire might roar to life here and there, but they're always smothered by ashes and blown out by wind. Yet, I desperately stayed behind, frantically sifting through the lifeless remains of those countless dead embers. I've tried my damndest to keep the few that I managed to wrestle back to life in a protected state, safe from any harm that might have fallen upon them, extinguishing their dull light. But in the end, they all went dead. There was nothing left to keep them burning.
"Are you listening, Curtis?"
I was. As much as I hated to admit it, I heard and understood every word, even those that remained unspoken. I already knew. It hurt. It stung. It brought water to my tired eyes. But no amount of emotion, nor tears, could change the truth. The reality, that I had denied and avoided for all this time. I had fought against it. I tried everything I could, used all the tricks up my sleeve, pulled every rabbit from my hat. But it never changed. And it never slowed. As unstoppable as the steady march of time, the end neared. And people left. I cannot say the same for them, but I never forgot a single one. Even in my everyday life, I remembered them. I remembered their names, their pictures, their posts, their characters.
"Look, I'm heading out. Close up the office when you're done, alright? This will be the last time it closes after all. I think letting the veteran have the honors would only be right."
All of it. [REDACTED]. A close friend, unlike any other. The one that brought me here and gave me direction. And my brother. Complete UI. A comrade in arms, unmistakable in typing, and with dreams that could only be described as insanity, should a single one be brought to life. Chaos. Ruler and commander, an inspiration for me, and the one who truly brought me to improve my skill. Fall, of the lesser known. I only knew them briefly, but was impressed nonetheless. Had I been given more time to spare, I would have enjoyed creating a story with you. TonOCreep, the object of my admiration. I had long enjoyed your posts. The boldness of them, how unafraid of the reply you were, and how creative your story had been. Johuoy. Unforgettable characters, one of which had truly given me the spark to continue. Ah, I still remember that shield bash. How confused and angry I had been, thinking to myself, 'How dare she force a hit! Unforgivable!'. FlamingSand. The creator. Had it not been for you, none of this would have happened. I would have grown old and miserable, with no happy memories to look back on. Though we have never truly met in post or in person, I can still proudly say that I'm glad we have met.
The jingle of a bell had reached my ears, followed by a door closing. Though it had been open briefly, the cold bite of winter had still managed to slip through, chilling the darkened office even more. The room was completely dark, except for the dull blue glow from my computer screen. Looking at it hurt my eyes. It was the brightest light in the room after all. But, even as my eyes stung and clouded up again, they focused on a single title, boldly standing out against a white screen. A title that would be easy to remember and hard to forget. The title that started it all.
LDATL
Through tears, I smiled. It was like a curse. I couldn't look away, even as my eyes dumped salty water down my wrinkled and worn cheeks. I moved my mouse, watching the cursor slowly move up and over towards my name, 'Sum Umbra Ego'. And logged out. The screen changed, spending the briefest of moments on a blank white screen, before loading into the login screen. My eyes looked over the Captcha beneath the 'Password' tab, reading over the line of letters and numbers over and over, as I had so often done before. G6Y9N. The smile slowly faded. Moving the mouse again, momentarily looking over at the flashing red light that said mouse had begun blinking at me, signifying low battery, I hovered my cursor over the large red X at the top right of my browser.
Click.
For the briefest of moments, I felt something brush past my face, like a moth fluttering towards a light. The already darkened room seemed to fade and vanish, all sound suddenly dulled and slowly became more and more quiet as a loud ringing in my ears grew to overwhelming volume. It hurt. I reached my hands up, sticking fingers in my ears and turning them, desperately trying to stop the ringing. And through it all, I was completely unaware that I was no longer in my uncomfortable chair in a cramped office. I didn't realise that the inky darkness that filled my vision was abnormal, or strange in the slightest. And it wasn't until a colorful film, no different from static on a TV screen, had begun to line the edges of my vision and all strength fled my body, that I realised that something was off.
Off in the distance, deep in the darkest and most void-swallowed depths of whatever purgatory I had been sent to, a pair of white rectangular lights cut through the unforgiving plains of this place. Like the headlights of a car, they moved quickly, but steadily, towards me, until the brilliant glow filled my vision, the light comparable to a star's, driving away the all-consuming darkness that had threatened to drive my already strained sanity away from me. I could not breath. I could barely see, despite the now blinding light, and above all, I could not move. But my thoughts. My thoughts never froze. They never abandoned me, running away in search of better lands. And they recognized this light.
Eyes. These were not twin floodlights, nor a pair of invasive stars. These were a pair of eyes, attached to some malignant force. They were attached to a being that had stolen me away from my home. Unacceptable! Mustering all of my remaining strength, I lashed out at the owner of those terrible eyes, but alas! My limbs refused to move as I ordered them! It was as if I was encased in tar! The being, nay, Deity, that stood in front of me moved backwards, and my left arm slammed forward, as if breaking free from the aforementioned tar. The bastard was mocking me! I wanted nothing more at that moment than to break free from whatever heretical hex bound me to air and ground, and to pummel that horrible being into a bloody pulp. Anger, boiling hot and in ready doses, pumped through my body like a drug, fueling my intent to kill.
And yet, I still remained frozen, encased in some unseen ice, forever unmeltable by the now meager warmth of anger. This would not do, oh no, this would not do at all. I wanted to smash a stone into this being's arrogant skull now, to maim and horribly injure the odd-eyed deity though any means possible. Death was too honest, too kind for such a creature! I struggled again and again, trashing against unseen chains and manacles, gnashing my dulled teeth at the ever present lifeform that mocked me so. Then, just as quickly as the eyes had appeared, they were gone. Leaving me in total darkness. The air had changed though. From being and feeling like nothing, to a stifling and suffocating heat and humidity. Something wasn't right, even for such a dreadful place. Never has a void been described as 'humid'. Then again, who has honestly been through a right, true, void and lived to tell the tale?
But soon, that oddity too had disappeared. And there I was. Stuck in an endless hell, unable to move even so much as to scratch an itch. A proper death was preferable to this. Standing there, surrounded by a pitch black, so dark that your eyes could never adjust, without driving you blind. By all possible means, I felt lost. And afraid. Trapped in a vortex of negative thoughts, followed by prayers and cries for the release of death. But it never came. Neither death, nor freedom. I was alone. Alone for heavens knows how long. Time sometimes seemed to leap by. Other times, it crawled at a snail's pace, like a drop of sweat trickling down your back, except extended for what could have been years.
Why?