As much as me and all you other peoples love them, I do not own these characters. One thing I do own is the word tshit. So, please do not steal the word of…wordiness. This story is crack. Also I do not own the songs mentioned and sung in this story either. Again, this story is crack.
Karaoke Contest
"I have a surprise," Kakashi began. Sakura and Naruto looked up excitedly. Sasuke on the other hand looked op with an unenthusiastic whatever face. "But," Kakashi pulled three black blindfolds from his back pocket. "You can't seewhere we're going."
"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted. A large smiled whipped across his face. "What's going on; where are we going?" Kakashi smiled. "It's a surprise." Kakashi began tying the blindfolds on the three. Sakura and Naruto smiled and Sasuke sighed.
"Okay…" Sasuke, now blindfolded, said. "How do we get to where we're going…if we can't see the road?!" Kakashi thought for a second. The three awaited silently.
"I got it!" Kakashi yelled. Not long after that- -Kakashi was walking down the street with three long black leashes in his left hand, dog collars on each of three's necks, and his 'Make Out Paradise' book in his right hand. Naruto smiled, then laughed. Sakura and Sasuke moaned. Each time they'd slowed down, Kakashi would tug the leashes slightly, pulling them along. Kakashi looked up from his book and stopped in front of a building. From the sudden stop, Sakura bumped into Kakashi, and Naruto accidentally bumped into Sasuke. Sasuke 'growled' and Naruto apologized. "We're here." Kakashi said.
"Really, cooool! Ha ha!" Naruto burst out. The blindfolds still covered their eyes.
"So, Kakashi Sensei, where are we?" Sakura said. "
You'll see…" Kakashi said tugging them inside. The three blindfolds fell to the ground. Chairs surrounded them in a dark room. A small stage with one large spotlight was in the center of the room. A microphone sat on the stage with two large speakers sitting next to it.
"Where…are we?" Sakura asked scratching her head. Kakashi smiled.
"Kareoke!"
"What the f-"
"Sasuke! Don't you dare swear in front of a group! It's rude!" Naruto yelled pulling a squirt bottle from a chair, filled with clear liquid, then squirting Sasuke with it. Sasuke's hands shot up covering his face.
"AAAAAAAAAgh!!! MY EYES! It BUUUURRRRRNSSS!!" Naruto looked at the bottle. The label 'cleaning solution' sat on the front of the clear plastic. "DAMN YOU!! AAAH!" Sasuke snatched the bottle from Naruto and immediately squirted him back in the eyes. "AAAAH! SASUKE!! AAAAAAH!" Naruto shouted covering his eyes.
"Sensei, why is there cleaning solution in here?" Sakura asked.
"To…uh…clean stuff with…" Kakashi answered. Naruto and Sasuke squirmed around screaming and covering their eyes. "Don't worry the others will be here soon."
"Others?" Sakura asked again. "Yeah…others." Chairs toppled over and Naruto fell to the ground.
"HELP! THIS TSHIT HURTS!!" He yelled. Sasuke soon after tripped on Naruto, who was rolling around on the ground screaming, and Sasuke suddenly hit his head on the chair.
"OOOOUUUCH DAMMIT!!!" Sasuke yelled, rolling on the ground, as well.
"You two better shut up or I'll squirt you both with this stuff again!" Sakura yelled. 'CHA!' Her 'inner Sakura' yelled. Kakashi sighed with a smile.
"You shut the Hell up!" Sasuke yelled at Sakura.
"That's it!" Sakura pointed the bottle at Susuke, but strangely, when she squirted it, she squirted herself in the eyes by accident. She cried and Sasuke and Naruto rubbed their eyes as if they were on fire. Lee ran through the door, seeing Sakura with tears in her eyes. Kakashi backed away slowly as Lee ran over to her freaking out, not even noticing the still screaming Sasuke and Naruto. Lee pulled out a soft cloth from…uh…somewhere?…and began wiping Sakura eyes to make the stinging sensation stop. Naruto and Sasuke had finally stopped screaming. Their eyes were blood red and tears from the pain filled their eyes. The cleaning liquid was finally gone from their eyes.
They sat in chairs in opposite sides of the room, taking deep breaths and wiping their eyes a few more times. Ten Ten, Temari, Kankuro, Gai, Gaara, Neji, Hinata, Kabuto, Ino, Shikamaru, and Shino walked inside the room and sat down. Gai locked the door and joined Kakashi on the stage.
"Welcome!" Gai began.
"To my-" Kakashi said.
"OUR!" Gai yelled, interrupting.
"Our…kareoke challenge." Kakashi finished.
"We are the judges." Gai said pulling to chairs in front of the stage, along with a wooden table with papers on it.
"But first-" Kakashi said.
"We will perform a song for you." Gai interrupted again. Kakashi glared at Gai as a slightly speedy repetitive beat began. "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like we do on the Discovery channel." Gai sang.
"Why, that's so inappropriate Gai." Kakashi said with a smile. "How about," The beat formed into a mixture of guitar and drums. "Please leave all over coats, canes, and top hats, with the doorman. From that moment you'll be out of place and under dressed." "I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it." Gai jumped in. "Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and-" Kakashi continued. They continued singing, then they began to sway and dance to the song. When the song ended Kakashi and Gai took a bow then sat in their judge seats.
"Up first is…" Kakashi began. "My star pupil, Lee!" Gai interrupted, with a thumbs up and a large smile slashed across his face.
"Awright!" Lee shouted jumping up. He ran onto the stage. He smiled greatly. He grabbed the mic. A loud, fast techno beat echoed on the room. "Sweet little bumble bee I know what you want from me, doo pi doo pi doo da da doo pi doo pi doo da da. Sweet little bumble bee, more than just a fantasy, doo pi doo pi doo da da, doo pi doo pi doo da da." His voice was high pitched and slightly…uh…feminine. As he sang, he stared at Sakura. "My heart skipped a beat as I walked through the door, I go boom boom boom, you go zoom zoom zoom." Sakura twitched. "You're my favorite place and another my friends. I wanna be with you until the end." Lee repeated the verses until the song ended. Everyone stared…silently and slightly frightened. Gai gave him a thumbs up and began to write a score on the paper, as Kakashi did with only a smile. Lee took a seat again.
"Okay," Kakashi began. "Next is…Shikamaru."
"What a drag." Shikamaru said as he stepped onto the stage and grabbing the mic. A repetitive smooth speeded song began. "I'm an emo kid, noncomphorming as can be. You'd be noncomphorming too if you looked just like me. I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face. I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs." Kakashi and Gai twitched. "Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drags. I call it freedom of expression well just call me a fag." He rolled his eyes. "Our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dikes, cause emo is one step below transvestite. Stop my breathing and slit my throat. I must be emo. I don't jump around when I go to shows. I must be emo. I'm dark and sensitive and write suicide notes." Shikamaru continued. Kakashi and Gai looked at each other as the song ceased.
"Uh…very good Shikamaru…" Gai said. He and kakashi began writing his score under Lee's.
"Up next is Ino." Kakashi announced.
"Yay!" She shouted as Shikamaru sat down and she bounced to the stage. "Ready?" She said winking at Sasuke. The sound of a car roared in the background, then she began. "I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl. Sad I have it, I should bag. Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation. I'm a flat, lonely girl all alone in the world. I'm as stiff as a board thin and lengthy." Everyone twitched in their seats as the song finished. She bow and took a seat. Kakashi and Gai hesitantly wrote down her score.
"O-okay…t-time for the next contestant." Kakashi said with relief. "Uh, Kankuro."
"Awright awright…" He said unenthusiastically. He stepped on the stage and grabbed the mic. "Well Scottsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fare. One could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share. He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet. Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep be side the street. Ring ding dil lil litioh Ring di dil lidioh he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. Around that time two young and lovely ladies tappin by. One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye. 'See young sleeping Scottsman so strong and handsome built I wonder if its true what they don't wear beneath the kilt," Kankuro spoke into the mic. "That's all I know. Heh heh." The music stopped. Kankuro shrugged with a smile as he stepped off the stage. Kakashi and Gai stared. They scribbled down the score.
"Okay Sakura. You're up." "Sweet!" Sakura said calmly. 'cha!' her mind shouted. Music began. In a loud out burst she began. "DOES HE LOVE ME I WANNA KNOW! HOW CAN I TELL IF HE LOVES ME SO!"
"I LOVE YOU SAKURA!" Lee shouted blushing. The background sang 'Is it in his eyes.'
"On no you'll be deceived."
'is it in his eyes.'
"Oh no you make believe. If you wanna know, if he loves you so, it's in his kiss."
"I'll kiss you Sakura!!!" Lee shouted again.
'That's where it is. Oh yeah. Or is it in his face?'
"Oh no it's just his charm."
'In his one embrace.'
"Oh no, that's just his arm. If you wanna know if loves you so, its in his kiss." When the song was over several parts of the small audience clapped. Kakashi and Gai wrote the score.
"Next is my protégé, Sasuke." Kakashi said. Sasuke moaned climbing on the stage. The music began and the lights dimmed slightly. "Everytime we lie awake. After every hit we take. Every feeling that I get. Cause I haven't missed you yet. Only when I stop to think about it. I! HATE! EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! Why do I, love you? YOU! HATE! EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?" Sasuke continued. When the song ended, Sasuke just dropped the mic and walked off stage, then sat in a chair in the back and stared angrily. The audience applauded. Kakashi and Gai finished writing.
"Okay," Kakashi began. "Let's see…who's next…"
"OOH OOH! MEEEE! MEE! PLEEEAAASE!" Naruto yelled waving his arms in the air
. "Alright." Gai said. "Come on UP!" He yelled with yet another thumbs up.
"YEAH! HA HA!" Naruto jolted onto the stage and picked up the microphone Sasuke purposely dropped. The music started and Naruto turned his back to them. Strange noises echoed in the background. Naruto jumped around facing them. "I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head. They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed. Playing little reels of tape that remind me I'm still alone. Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home." Kakashi's eyes jolted open and began blushing. "There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my head. An ounce of peace is all I want from you. Will you never call again? And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face. And will you never try to reach me it is I that wanted space. Hate me today! Hate me tomorrow! Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you!" Naruto gave his jazz hands as he neared the end of the song. After the scoring, The judges called up Shino to sing.
"CRAWLING IN MY SKIN! THESE WOUNDS, THEY WILL NOT HEAL! FEAR IS HOW I FALL, CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL!" Shino shouted into the mic.
Next was Ten Ten.
"I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me. I still feel your touch in my dreams. For give me my weakness but I don't know why. With out you it's hard to survive! Cause Every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss I reach for the sky. Can you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last. I need you by my side."
Then Temari-
"Long lost words whisper slowly to me. Still can't find what keeps me here. And all this time I'd been so hollow inside. I know your still there! Watching me, wanting me! I can feel you pull me down. Watching you fearing you. I can feel you pull me down!"
Then…Neji and Kabuto…
"When the sun goes down, we'll be groovin when the sun goes down. We'll be doin all right." Neji sang.
"When the sun goes down over the water-" Kabuto entered, snatching the mic from Neji.
"She thinks Neji's sexy when the sun goes down." Neji jumped in grabbing it back.
"When the sun goes down." Kabuto spoke into Neji's mic.
"We'll be doin all right. When the sun sinks down," Neji began.
"Over the water!" Kabuto finished grabbing the mic again.
"Kabuto is hotter when the sun goes down." Neji said with a sarcastic smile. Kabuto laughed and elbowed Neji, who had already hastily gotten the mic back. The audience sat shocked. "What?" Neji began. "Calm, pokey people can't like beach music?" He took a seat silently pouting. Kabuto bowed then took a seat.
"Next is Gaara." Gai announced. Gaara make a weird sigh type growl, then stood on the stage.
"I am really special cause there's only one of me. Look at my smile I'm so damn happy people are jealous of me." Naruto twitched in his seat, cause he knew he would be dead if he ruined the song. "When I'm sad and lonely I like to sing this song. It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long oh oh oh. I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave. Welcome to my happy world now get your shit and leave!" Naruto began to sweat as he tried to reach for the bottle, but Kakashi pulled it away from him. "I am happy I am good-"
"Hey…You're not a happy person or good!" Neji yelled.
"What did you say?! I am so happy!" Gaara became half-covered in sand and the demon that had been held inside was (halfway) free. Gaara pounced on Neji.
"Oh, TSHIT!" Neji yelled as Gaara began clawing at him.
"NO SWEARING!" Naruto yelled and grabbed the bottle again and squirted Neji in the eyes. Neji began to scream with pain. One hand, wiping his eyes and the other, poking sand away. "DAMMIT! AAAAH!" Neji yelled again.
"NO SWEARING!" Naruto once again yelled pouring the solution on Neji's face. Neji screamed louder. Gaara's demon form fully took over and ate Neji. A bad taste filled Gaara's mouth and he immediately spit him out. Gaara turned human again and began puking. Neji gasped for air between screams. Gai and Kakashi stared in shock.
"Uh…Hinata…your turn." A spotlight shined on her. She held the microphone in her hand and had her eyes closed. She was intently blushing and very frightened. A piano played in the background. "Kaze ya go, kokoro nagami, mi igi no kokoro ni," She sang softly. Everyone stopped and watched silently in amazement. "Su ku ey ga no mo no kagami ni kokoro no ey nagami. Suteki da ne? Kokoro no nagami no ey shite na." When the song ended, she left the stage into the seats and everyone stared silently…shocked. The judges wrote the score then smiled.
"I guess we're-"
"HELLO!" The door slammed open, the lock fell to the floor, and light poured in. Two guys walked through the door. It was Itachi and Jaraiya. Everyone stilled stared…well…shocked. "Sorry we're late," Itachi began. "We ran into a few...um…problems…ha ha!"
"Well you're UP!" Gai yelled. Jaraiya shut the door. Sasuke glared. The two climbed onto the stage. Strange sounds like springs, ect. played in the background.
"I'm not wearing underwear today! I'm not wearing underwear today! Not that you probably care, much about my underwear. Still nonetheless I gotta say…that I'm not wear-ring under-wear to-DAY!" They finished high fived, then sat on the stage.
The scores were posted. Everyone crowded around the sheet.
It said:
1st place- Naruto
2nd place- Sasuke
3rd place- Hinata
4th place- Gaara
5th place- Neji
6th place- Temari
7th place- Sakura
8th place- Ten Ten
9th place- Itachi and Jaraiya
10th place- Shino
11th place- Kankuro
12th place- Ino
13th place- …Lee…(I'm so sorry)
Everyone congratulated each other, but Lee. Lee sat and stared at the list. His eyes filled with tears. He glared angrily then his tears fell and they were just gone. "Pfft…cheaters…" He walked up to Neji and muttered in his ear. Neji nodded then walked over to Kakashi poked him 64 times walked away as Kakashi fell to the ground numb. Gai ran over to Lee.
"I'm so sorry! Its all Kakashi's fault!!!"
"GAI SESEI!" Lee shouted with tears of sadness and joy. Where the joy came from…we don't even know.
"LEE!"
"GAI SENSEI!"
"LEE!" Gai hugged Lee, but a little to hard. Ino ran over to Sakura and punched her in the face.
"How dare you try to steal my Sasuke with your song!!!"
"TSHIT! OUCH!!!" Sakura yelled.
"NO SWEARING!" Naruto yelled grabbing another cleaning supplement bottle.
Suddenly after Naruto said it Everyone screamed. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"NO SWEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARING!!!" Naruto used his shadow clone jutsu, grabbed everyone, and squirted everyone in the eyes with the cleaning solution. Everyone screamed and squirmed. They decided after that, that there would be no more Kareoke competitions in the future.
end.