Author's Note: Just a little joke-poem, based on George Pope Morris' poem, "Woodsman, Spare that Tree!" I found a suggestion on the Tolkien Sarcasm Page (http://www.flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/tolksarc.htm) that maybe Tolkien intended to write a parody of that entitled "Tree, Spare that Woodsman!" Well, Tolkien's dead now, so I had to do it.
Disclaimers: Ents and the like belong to Tolkien Enterprises. The original poem belongs to GP Morris. Please don't sue.
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Tree, spare that woodman!
Tear not a single limb!
He really didn't mean it
To chop with axe so grim

'Twas peer pressure's fault
That placed it in his hand
So let the man walk free
Not smeared across the land!

That idiotic chopper
Knew not your smile from frown
He merely sought some firewood
Please, Ent, don't break *him* down!

Treeman, forbear thy stroke!
Asunder, tear him not
O, spare that stupid cutter
Who knew not what he'd got!

He may have his dear family
Who treats him awful soft
They need his strength and working arms
So please, don't tear them off!

His father, he will weep and moan
His mother will a-faint
If you spread his guts everywhere
Please, once, Ent, be a saint!

My brow with sweat is beaded
As you think on my orations
Not much as now the cutter is
Absorbed with palpitations.

Old tree! The storm still brave!
Let the man leave the spot
My hand cannot him save
But please! Chop up him not!