Thoughts.
Doctor Who one-shot.
Quite a serious one, where we delve into the mind of the man himself. Set during the trip to Mars on "Waters of Mars."
It was always this way though wasn't it?
Just him in the TARDIS, moving through star-encrusted worlds and going through companions like they were pieces of paper he could discard whenever he felt like it.
Even though you didn't think of them that way at all; you loved them but fate always got in the way to play cruel tricks.
Messy hair glinted a dull coppery-brown in the weary lights of the TARDIS console room and he knew that she was tired too. She was only a living machine at the end of the day and she couldn't do anything except what she was programmed to do. It was sad.
Because all you wanted to have was companionship and to talk to someone because you were so lonely and it was unfair and it was all your fault-
Dark caramel eyes that had seen too much anger, hate and flames and too little love glowed as they reflected the fluorescent turquoise light from the ship's main computer. No smile played on his face today.
Yes because that was just reserved for other beings to hide yourself, wasn't it and you did so well at it, playing the fake hero and acting out your life-
Those eyes. Others only had to look into them (Well, the ones who knew you well enough. And that wasn't many.) to see the years and the horrors he had seen, the otherworldly sadness that lingered even when he grinned cheekily.
Oh you wanted to save Rose but you didn't want to be shut off in some parallel world either, for that would be fatal to the other worlds whose people couldn't live without you because they were stupid and never learnt-
His long pale hands thrust themselves automatically into his pinstriped suit pockets, a sort of comfort reaction, as he studied the readings on the TARDIS console. He whistled for a few minutes but stopped when the Doctor realised that it echoed in the silence of the ship. Cursing as he tripped over wires strewn out across the steel floor, the Lord Doctor made his way to a photo and picked it up, smiling faintly at the picture showing the Master, the Rani and the Doctor on their graduation day at Gallifrey Academy. They had worn blood red graduation gowns and thrown the keys to their new TARDISes in the air along with a thousand of their other classmates when the ceremony was over.
They had bee so excited, so carefree and so happy…
But that wasn't possible anymore, for the Master was insane and dead and so was the Rani; the other Time Lords had died too because of YOU. It was your entire fault, you blew them up-
The Doctor moaned and shook himself, setting back down the gold-embossed photo frame with a resounding clunk and drew in a deep breath, as if he was trying to cleanse himself.
As if you could.
"Right then." he called aloud to the stony silence. The TARDIS gave no response. "We're off to Mars. The year 2025, ooo I can't wait!" There was still no reply and quiet closed in on the Doctor, suffocating him just like it had done (and would always do) after all these broken years. The TARDIS wheezed in take-off.
He had been called a lonely angel once.
It fitted him better than "The Doctor."
Finished! Please review! :)