"Nathalie, I'm so sorry…I can't even imagine what you must be feeling being so young…" is what my aunt told me as she cried about the death of my parents in a car accident. I was only 8 years old, so of course, I wasn't necessarily reacting the way I was supposed to in these kinds of situations. I was more in a trance of shock than mourn, but no one would ever believe me if I had tried to tell them anything. So I kept my mouth shut for the longest time until I was placed with foster parents by the time I was 9.
"So are you ready to meet your new family?" asked Beth, my social worker, as she stepped out of the van and walked over and opened my door. "No. I don't want to be here. I want to go home," I said stubbornly, although I knew that my house wasn't my home anymore. She heaved a sigh that made me regret being so predictable. I bit my lip and hopped out and looked up at her with a look of impatience. She wasn't even that bad of a lady; it's just that I had just lost my parents and was being forced to live hundreds of miles from my home in Chicago, Illinois. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Give me a break. So I walked up with Beth to the front door and she knocked on it 3 times before a short kid around 13 years old answered it. He stared blankly at me, who stood small next to the tall professionally dressed Beth.
"Mom…dad…the adoption lady is here!" he called out and ran inside before dragging back his parents by the arms. After everything had been filed out and the messy work had been done, I was left alone in a house full of strangers. I sat on the couch silently as they all had their eyes directed on me. The boy who had answered the door, who I found out his name, was Andy, decided to break the awkward silence and said loudly, "So…what do you think of us so far?" I looked down at the floor before answering politely, "Nice house…" Andy started laughing before telling his parents that he was going to take me upstairs with him. He stands up and grabs my arm and pulls me up the stairs after him and into his room. His room was dark and filled with large posters on the walls.
"You're really quiet! You should talk a little more!" he shouted. I awkwardly pulled my knees to my chest and didn't say anything. He then put his face 2 inches away from yours and said, "please?"
"What do you want from me? My parents just died! What do you expect me to say?" you yelled in a quick gasp. You then shook off the anger and laid your head back on his bed. He climbed up and sat next to you and said, "This will be the start of a very nice brother-sister relationship."
9 years later::: Andy is 22. Nathalie is 18.
"Come on, Nathalie. Get your things, let's go. We should be there already by now!" Andy yelled at me as I scurried to grab my suitcase and personal items. I walked outside and covered my eyes with sunglasses and hopped in the piece of shit car Andy drove. I put my stuff in the back and sat facing forward. We had set off on our way to Wilmette, Illinois to go visit Pete Wentz. Well, I was only in it because I didn't trust Andy to go alone. But seeing Pete would probably raise some memories that I'd rather not look back on. That boy seriously has some issues… So we were driving in the car and listening to the radio when Andy's cell phone rings.
"Hey, can you answer that for me?" he asks. I grab the phone and do so. Unfortunately, it was Pete.
"Well, if it isn't Nathalie! Hey babe, what are you doing with Andy's phone?" he said in a cocky tone. I made a face and said, "I'm in the car with him. What do you want?"
"Oh yeah, I just wanted to tell him that I found a guy who can sing for the new band and that he'd be here when you two arrive. In other words, be ready to be amazed." I rolled my eyes and said, "Well okay, I'll tell him that. Bye." "I'll be seeing you soon, Nat." I shut the phone and put it down and told Andy what Pete said about the new lead singer. Andy smiled and while ignoring the band subject, said, "So, do you think Pete still has the hots for you?"
"I don't want to know, because I don't care! He is far from ever being my type," I spat out harshly. Andy laughed and said, "What if this new guy is just like him? Wouldn't that be scary? Two Petes? Oh god, the horror!" He then started to swerve as his reaction to the idea of two Pete's in one band. I just laughed and shook my head and turned up the radio to Minority by Greenday.
I sighed and brushed my fingers through my dark hair and stared out the window at the empty wasteland. I started to mess with my camera after a while of driving with nothing to listen to but the radio. "God, don't you talk?" Andy said after nearly a half hour of no talking. I looked up at him with a solemn face.
"Why are you so sad? This trip is the perfect opportunity for you to take some incredible pictures for that photo portfolio you've been working on," he said trying to lighten up the conversation. I sighed, knowing he would continue prying until I spoke up. So I said, "I don't know. I just feel so worthless because you're in a band and that gives you something to do and all I've done since graduation is sit on my ass and not even try to get into college." He laughed and said, 'Pfft, that's not true. You've been working hard keeping our apartment rent paid. That's at least something! Plus, who knows what's going to happen when you get there?"
This comment made me smile a little, which made him satisfied enough to turn up the radio to Greener by the Scenery by The Used. I laid my head against the side panel of the door and fell asleep to the vibration of the car moving and the screams of Bert McCracken.