A/N: My first JTHM fic. Just a silly little thing I thought up for Halloween.
Disclaimer: Everything but this particular plot belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.
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"Trick or treat!" the three squeaky, annoying voices sang in unison, hurting the homicidal maniac's ears. This had been going on all night, what with it being Halloween and all. Johnny looked to the children, a slight twitch of annoyance in his eye. The children were dressed up as a devil, a witch, and a ghost, which looked more like a kid wearing a red outfit with obviously fake devil horns, a girl wearing a pink dress (the store had sold out of black) and a grey pointy hat, and a kid with a sheet thrown over his head that had no holes to see through. To put it bluntly, their costumes were absolutely horrendous.
Johnny smiled to himself and reached into a bag that had been set by the door, pulling out a hand and two fingers, tossing them casually to the children. The trick or treaters shreiked with fright and ran home, crying for their parents, leaving a confused Johnny staring after them from the front door. Yes, the homicidal maniac was confused as to why small children wouldn't want the disembodied hand of some random idiot. But then again, you'd be confused as well, wouldn't you?
That kind of thing had been happening all night. Johnny sighed as he closed the door, mumbling to himself how stupid children could be. He was about to sit down and watch TV when he heard a quiet knock at the door. Cursing, he stood back up and walked back to the door, pulling it open impaitently. His expression softened when he realised the trick or treater was Squee.
"T- trick or treat..." Squee stuttered akwardly. He had no idea why he had come to the scary neighbor man's house. He also had no idea why he was dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean. But none the less, he was there after getting no candy (the unfortunate result of having stuck up neighbors that didn't like him, but liked other kids) and was feeling hopeful as well as frightened.
Johnny began to reach into the bag by his door, hoping that Squee was smart enough to enjoy a dismembered hand, but quickly decided against it. Instead, he motioned for Squee to come inside. "Sorry. The candy's in the kitchen." he explained as the child sat down timidly on the couch. "I... er... wasn't expecting anyone worth giving up candy to to show up." Johnny raced to the kitchen to get some candy corn and chocolate bars while the doughboys decided to terrorize Squee.
"Little kid, would you like to help me with something?" Mr. Eff began slyly. "All you need to do is paint a certain wall in this house- I'll show that to you later- to keep my master trapped inside of it. What do you say?"
Squee's eyes widened upon sight of the styrofoam being. He hugged his teddy bear, Shmee (who was dressed up as Davey Jones from Pirates of the Carribean), closer to himself as he scooted back in the couch. Yes, for some reason, he had dressed Shmee up.
"Shut up, Eff." Psychodoughboy argued angrily, scaring the child even more. "Kid, don't you think life is horrible? I mean, you have people teasing you, hurting you, calling you names... Don't you just want to end it?"
"No! He needs to paint the wall!" Mr. Eff argued. "Johnny doesn't paint it enough! At least with the kid, our master will have more trouble getting out!"
Nailbunny then floated up to then all, causing Squee to shriek with fright. Again, the child backed up further into the couch. "Don't listen to either of them!" the spooky floating bunny head argued. "They're both trying to use you!"
"Mr. Samsa, get out of the candy!" Johnny shouted from the kitchen. "That's supposed to be for the kids who aren't brats! One of those actually came! That's it, you're dying again!"
The doughboys stared at the kitchen for a moment, quickly followed by their argument resuming. Squee hugged Shmee closer to himself, wishing he had just gone to the store and bought his own candy instead of going to his neighbor's house.
Nailbunny stared at the arguing doughboys, feeling annoyed with their constant bickering. "I'm sorry." he apologized. "Those two are idiots. And they don't get along too well, as you can see."
Right then, Johnny came out of the kitchen holding a bag filled with various assorted candies and a knife with about two small drops of blood (belonging to a certain now dead cockroach) on it.
"Here you go, Squee." Johnny muttered sleepily as he tossed the bag into Squee's lap. Squee stared at the bag for a moment, a look of pure terror on his adorable little face.
"Oh my gosh! What's in that bag? Bags are scary! SQUEE!" the child screamed as he jumpped up and bolted out the door, leaving the confused Johnny behind.
Johnny picked up the bag of candy and stared at it. "Maybe he's allergic to chocolate?" he reasoned. "Yeah. That must be it. I'll give him some different candy later."
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Yes, this one shot is now over. I didn't know how to have Squee react, so I had him freak out like he did in the mall that one time. (Anyone remember that?) Anyway, this is my first JTHM fic so if you have criticism, please don't be too harsh. Constructive critisism is fine, just no flames. If I am flamed, I'll have Happy Noodle Boy eat your brain. Happy Halloween! (Waves goodbye before being eaten by the wall monster)